Nicely worded witty piece.

OP is high on the blood of donald trump lmaoooo

beamie:

U can teach her how to cook. I'm sure she will be willing to learn.

That will be hard with the 8am to 9pm job on my neck

Op, u too much

bestspoke:

That will be hard with the 8am to 9pm job on my neck

U have to find a way naa ni, if you claim to love her.

That part where the pilar of salt in the days of lot was lost in the soup got people around asking if I am ok or about to run mad.




























Btw, we were smoking weed, and all of a sudden, they all heard a thunderous laugh followed by "this OP is mad". Still surprised on the laugh, they are now asking, who is "op"?

Lol

chigoizie7:
That part where the pilar of salt in the days of lot was lost in the soup got people around asking if I am ok or about to run mad.




























Btw, we were smoking weed, and all of a sudden, they all heard a thunderous laugh followed by "this OP is mad". Still surprised on the laugh, they are now asking, who is "op"?

Lol

lol am well o...where the groove at na

bestspoke:
So they say, "the fastest way to get a man to marry you, is to cook his best meal and serve it with a chilled bottle of coke" -okay, nobody said that, i just totally made that up.

But, if it was true; then Nneka would never get married.
Nneka, was my church crush - church, in the sense that we attended the same church and she was in the choir - so yeah,church crush!But you see, she wasn't like any other choir girl you know. Forget those "head-tie wearing, Ankle skirt" girls you're probably imagining.
Nneka had class, and ass too - not sure which was more, but both were in abundance. Her figure eight ( shape wasn't helping matters, not to talk of her clear American accent - Mehn! Angels had to be made this way.

So yeah, we eventually started dating after I broke forcefully out of the deep shackles of friend zone I was submerged in - middle finger village witches during the course of our dating, she kept complaining about the money I spent eating out and buying junk food. I never really had a problem with this cos' I barely had time to cook for myself, with my 9 - 8 job and all. - Yeah, 9am to 8pm! My boss was directly related to the devil himself.

Anyways, she offered to cook and insisted on spending the weekend. She was going to "spoil me silly" with different kinds of dishes I had never tasted. I knew right then, that I had found the one. No more cornflakes and indomie for one week - goodbye carbohydrates; Hello protein!!I fell deeper in love.

Saturday finally arrived, and I was treated to a huge plate of Egusi soup - Everybody's favourite.I'm not much of a Bible story kinda guy, but after first taste, I knew instantly that soup must have been inspired by the story of Lot and the Pillar of Salt. My Egusi soup was filled with the missing parts of the Pillar of Salt. I'm not joking, I might have as well, ordered a salt solution instead - heck! it felt like it.

But I let it slide, maybe she was just nervous cooking for me for the first time - Love, really is blind.By evening, we had Beans - or should I even call it that? Beans used to be my favourite food, until Nneka catwalked into my life. Now all I see when I think of Beans is horror and battlefields.
You think I'm lying? Okay, picture David and Goliath. Yep, remember those stones David picked before the fight? - yep! those ones.They were present in my dinner plate.

Actually, I think I had more stones than Beans for dinner - but then again Love prevailed, I let it slide.It was when I saw her washing raw rice into hot palm oil the next morning,she told me she wanted to prepare fried rice, I knew that I was finished."Blood of Donald Trump!! ", I shouted! But deep down, I was certain the end was finally here. At that moment, I knew my village witches had won the battle - they were probably twerking to a Gospel beat sef at that time.It's been two weeks since that weekend and I've not had the mind to return her calls or texts.

Please, how do you arrange your lips to tell somebody you're not doing again?Brother zone has never felt more perfect to me. I willingly zone myself.I give up abeg, I'm not doing again joor!

Dude me I dey feel you gon,
you too much
I hardly laugh to stuff like this but tonight you made my night

iamharkinwaley:

Dude me I dey feel you gon,
you too much
I hardly laugh to stuff like this but tonight you made my night

Toor

jashar:


Nicely worded witty piece.

Thanks

bestspoke:
Toor

Meaning?

guy2two:
this guy deserves a medal

Thanks

Hahaha nice one! Go publish on LIS and earn some cool dough.

bestspoke:
So they say, "the fastest way to get a man to marry you, is to cook his best meal and serve it with a chilled bottle of coke" -okay, nobody said that, i just totally made that up.

But, if it was true; then Nneka would never get married.
Nneka, was my church crush - church, in the sense that we attended the same church and she was in the choir - so yeah,church crush!But you see, she wasn't like any other choir girl you know. Forget those "head-tie wearing, Ankle skirt" girls you're probably imagining.
Nneka had class, and ass too - not sure which was more, but both were in abundance. Her figure eight ( shape wasn't helping matters, not to talk of her clear American accent - Mehn! Angels had to be made this way.

So yeah, we eventually started dating after I broke forcefully out of the deep shackles of friend zone I was submerged in - middle finger village witches during the course of our dating, she kept complaining about the money I spent eating out and buying junk food. I never really had a problem with this cos' I barely had time to cook for myself, with my 9 - 8 job and all. - Yeah, 9am to 8pm! My boss was directly related to the devil himself.

Anyways, she offered to cook and insisted on spending the weekend. She was going to "spoil me silly" with different kinds of dishes I had never tasted. I knew right then, that I had found the one. No more cornflakes and indomie for one week - goodbye carbohydrates; Hello protein!!I fell deeper in love.

Saturday finally arrived, and I was treated to a huge plate of Egusi soup - Everybody's favourite.I'm not much of a Bible story kinda guy, but after first taste, I knew instantly that soup must have been inspired by the story of Lot and the Pillar of Salt. My Egusi soup was filled with the missing parts of the Pillar of Salt. I'm not joking, I might have as well, ordered a salt solution instead - heck! it felt like it.

But I let it slide, maybe she was just nervous cooking for me for the first time - Love, really is blind.By evening, we had Beans - or should I even call it that? Beans used to be my favourite food, until Nneka catwalked into my life. Now all I see when I think of Beans is horror and battlefields.
You think I'm lying? Okay, picture David and Goliath. Yep, remember those stones David picked before the fight? - yep! those ones.They were present in my dinner plate.

Actually, I think I had more stones than Beans for dinner - but then again Love prevailed, I let it slide.It was when I saw her washing raw rice into hot palm oil the next morning,she told me she wanted to prepare fried rice, I knew that I was finished."Blood of Donald Trump!! ", I shouted! But deep down, I was certain the end was finally here. At that moment, I knew my village witches had won the battle - they were probably twerking to a Gospel beat sef at that time.It's been two weeks since that weekend and I've not had the mind to return her calls or texts.

Please, how do you arrange your lips to tell somebody you're not doing again?Brother zone has never felt more perfect to me. I willingly zone myself.I give up abeg, I'm not doing again joor!

bestspoke:
So they say, "the fastest way to get a man to marry you, is to cook his best meal and serve it with a chilled bottle of coke" -okay, nobody said that, i just totally made that up.

But, if it was true; then Nneka would never get married.
Nneka, was my church crush - church, in the sense that we attended the same church and she was in the choir - so yeah,church crush!But you see, she wasn't like any other choir girl you know. Forget those "head-tie wearing, Ankle skirt" girls you're probably imagining.
Nneka had class, and ass too - not sure which was more, but both were in abundance. Her figure eight ( shape wasn't helping matters, not to talk of her clear American accent - Mehn! Angels had to be made this way.

So yeah, we eventually started dating after I broke forcefully out of the deep shackles of friend zone I was submerged in - middle finger village witches during the course of our dating, she kept complaining about the money I spent eating out and buying junk food. I never really had a problem with this cos' I barely had time to cook for myself, with my 9 - 8 job and all. - Yeah, 9am to 8pm! My boss was directly related to the devil himself.

Anyways, she offered to cook and insisted on spending the weekend. She was going to "spoil me silly" with different kinds of dishes I had never tasted. I knew right then, that I had found the one. No more cornflakes and indomie for one week - goodbye carbohydrates; Hello protein!!I fell deeper in love.

Saturday finally arrived, and I was treated to a huge plate of Egusi soup - Everybody's favourite.I'm not much of a Bible story kinda guy, but after first taste, I knew instantly that soup must have been inspired by the story of Lot and the Pillar of Salt. My Egusi soup was filled with the missing parts of the Pillar of Salt. I'm not joking, I might have as well, ordered a salt solution instead - heck! it felt like it.

But I let it slide, maybe she was just nervous cooking for me for the first time - Love, really is blind.By evening, we had Beans - or should I even call it that? Beans used to be my favourite food, until Nneka catwalked into my life. Now all I see when I think of Beans is horror and battlefields.
You think I'm lying? Okay, picture David and Goliath. Yep, remember those stones David picked before the fight? - yep! those ones.They were present in my dinner plate.

Actually, I think I had more stones than Beans for dinner - but then again Love prevailed, I let it slide.It was when I saw her washing raw rice into hot palm oil the next morning,she told me she wanted to prepare fried rice, I knew that I was finished."Blood of Donald Trump!! ", I shouted! But deep down, I was certain the end was finally here. At that moment, I knew my village witches had won the battle - they were probably twerking to a Gospel beat sef at that time.It's been two weeks since that weekend and I've not had the mind to return her calls or texts.

Please, how do you arrange your lips to tell somebody you're not doing again?Brother zone has never felt more perfect to me. I willingly zone myself.I give up abeg, I'm not doing again joor!

laughed till tears fell ....very nice

bigtt76:
Hahaha nice one! Go publish on LIS and earn some cool dough.

nice one..
Thanks

prettythicksme:
To be candid,the post is not funny.Am i alright for not laughing or wat?

who broke your heart because this is funny

this is hilarious, i had to stop reading so i could finish eating without sending the food the wrong way.


lolz! the battlefield of beans.

The rate at which people plagiarize on this forum is breathtaking

There are so many things I read from the original writer or site and some from other people only to see them on NL without crediting the intellectual property to the rightful owner.

This particular one is not left out... I've read it on Facebook from two different people for over a week now.

...expect the OP actually penned it down. Stringed the words together from the scratch.

Nice
Really nice and funny too

Oma307:
please what is the title of the movie

friend Zone me

Iamhatey:
who broke your heart because this is funny

STFU broke my hrt r u happy now?

bestspoke:
So they say, "the fastest way to get a man to marry you, is to cook his best meal and serve it with a chilled bottle of coke" -okay, nobody said that, i just totally made that up.

But, if it was true; then Nneka would never get married.
Nneka, was my church crush - church, in the sense that we attended the same church and she was in the choir - so yeah,church crush!But you see, she wasn't like any other choir girl you know. Forget those "head-tie wearing, Ankle skirt" girls you're probably imagining.
Nneka had class, and ass too - not sure which was more, but both were in abundance. Her figure eight ( shape wasn't helping matters, not to talk of her clear American accent - Mehn! Angels had to be made this way.

So yeah, we eventually started dating after I broke forcefully out of the deep shackles of friend zone I was submerged in - middle finger village witches during the course of our dating, she kept complaining about the money I spent eating out and buying junk food. I never really had a problem with this cos' I barely had time to cook for myself, with my 9 - 8 job and all. - Yeah, 9am to 8pm! My boss was directly related to the devil himself.

Anyways, she offered to cook and insisted on spending the weekend. She was going to "spoil me silly" with different kinds of dishes I had never tasted. I knew right then, that I had found the one. No more cornflakes and indomie for one week - goodbye carbohydrates; Hello protein!!I fell deeper in love.

Saturday finally arrived, and I was treated to a huge plate of Egusi soup - Everybody's favourite.I'm not much of a Bible story kinda guy, but after first taste, I knew instantly that soup must have been inspired by the story of Lot and the Pillar of Salt. My Egusi soup was filled with the missing parts of the Pillar of Salt. I'm not joking, I might have as well, ordered a salt solution instead - heck! it felt like it.

But I let it slide, maybe she was just nervous cooking for me for the first time - Love, really is blind.By evening, we had Beans - or should I even call it that? Beans used to be my favourite food, until Nneka catwalked into my life. Now all I see when I think of Beans is horror and battlefields.
You think I'm lying? Okay, picture David and Goliath. Yep, remember those stones David picked before the fight? - yep! those ones.They were present in my dinner plate.

Actually, I think I had more stones than Beans for dinner - but then again Love prevailed, I let it slide.It was when I saw her washing raw rice into hot palm oil the next morning,she told me she wanted to prepare fried rice, I knew that I was finished."Blood of Donald Trump!! ", I shouted! But deep down, I was certain the end was finally here. At that moment, I knew my village witches had won the battle - they were probably twerking to a Gospel beat sef at that time.It's been two weeks since that weekend and I've not had the mind to return her calls or texts.

Please, how do you arrange your lips to tell somebody you're not doing again?Brother zone has never felt more perfect to me. I willingly zone myself.I give up abeg, I'm not doing again joor!

if I say make I help you cook.....
e go turn another thing

omonighoblessing:

if I say make I help you cook.....
e go turn another thing

lol...I don't mind oo

come and give me your blessing na

prettythicksme:
STFU broke my hrt r u happy now?

No, I'm not happy. I need you to get back to him and take him out of the 'searching market' so that singles like me can get good guy

bestspoke:

lol...I don't mind oo

come and give me your blessing na

hehehehehehee ayam coming my dear....leme get my aprons ready

omonighoblessing:
hehehehehehee ayam coming my dear....leme get my aprons ready

please cum quickly o

Iamhatey:

No, I'm not happy. I need you to get back to him and take him out of the 'searching market' so that singles like me can get good guy

lol,wetin b ur own? egbami

bestspoke:
please cum quickly o

Ok ooooo





now am HERE!

prettythicksme:
lol,wetin b ur own? egbami

is my own because we don't want bad guys in the market

Love prevails abi teach her to cook jare

Hello protein