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Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) - Religion - Nairaland

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Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by JackBizzle: 11:10am On Nov 27, 2016
Happy sunday, everyone.

I am an atheist and I go to church regularly. It might be surprising but it is true. I don't go for any supernatural or faith reasons, I go for very material reasons-


1) Respect;
99% of Nigerians are religious. Nigeria is a religious society and a man or woman who regularly goes to church with good car, fine family and good clothes will always get respected. Such a facade will always open doors for you. There is even a seating spot in the church where i go to where the "big boys" seat- it is not official but it is there. I have noticed that church wardens/ushers tend to patrol that side even more out f respect.


2) Business opportunities;
Following the first point, being well dressed and regular in church opens many doors. You can get clients or business partners in church. Many people have the belief that a church man can't cheat them. Also, one can put adverts in church bulletins or pamphlets.


3) Getting the knowledge to convince (and even brainwash) people
If you know my history on nairaland, then you know that I am a good "atheist evangelist" if I want to be. I learnt how to convince people from the best- priests and pastors. An atheist can improve both arguing skills and speech from copying the mannerisms of influential priests who control a huge flock of brainwashed sheep.

4) Reverse evangelism to atheism/humanism/secularism?
“A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to fear.”

― Marcus Tullius Cicero





cc hahn, plaetton, deepsight, pastoraio, jonbellion, weigraff, lepasharon, cloudgoddess

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by Godstraight(m): 11:25am On Nov 27, 2016
look at this man, u miss the most important thing.










the girls

17 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by MrMontella(m): 11:34am On Nov 27, 2016
Godgay:
look at this man, u miss the most important thing.











the girls
hahaha bro..i'm telling yo!
They reserve their best wears for sunday! cheesy

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by lepasharon(f): 11:36am On Nov 27, 2016
OP I think you should stand firm in ur believe, don't let religious ppl intimidate you into practicing religion. You would appreciate urself more if you live ur life according to ur own values
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by Godstraight(m): 11:38am On Nov 27, 2016
MrMontella:

hahaha bro..i'm telling yo!
They reserve their best wears for sunday! cheesy
during offerings come and be looking at the different asses,I swear Nigerian girls are fine, just imagine how many girls pastor Chris get access to

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by CAPSLOCKED: 11:45am On Nov 27, 2016

NO... BECAUSE I'M A TEMPERAMENTAL PERSON.

I CAN'T SIT IN A PLACE FULL OF LIES AND DECEPTION WITHOUT LOSING MY COOL. undecided

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by plaetton: 11:58am On Nov 27, 2016
Godgay:
look at this man, u miss the most important thing.













the girls


I wonder how he could have missed that most important reason to go to church.
cheesy

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by CAPSLOCKED: 12:06pm On Nov 27, 2016
Godgay:
look at this man, u miss the most important thing.












the girls




WHAT?
WITH ALL THEM SMELLY DIRTY UNDERARM HAIRS... undecided

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by plaetton: 12:07pm On Nov 27, 2016
I used to attend from to time with my family, for appearances.
But gosh, the Bullshytes became overwhelming. I could hardly contain myself.
My wife's pastor is a narcissistic axxhole, who reads dictionary in the night, and then comes to the pulpit on Sundays to intimidate his sheeple with meaningless verbiage. I personally think he is mildly insane. It goes with the territory.

Anyway, the Bullshytes grew too much for me. My irritation could no longer hold.
I stopped going, for many years now.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by freethinker01: 12:19pm On Nov 27, 2016
I was going ever years after I discarded the whole bs but I couldn't stand the lies and deciets. It was just too much for me to take and above all, I lost interest and it becomes boring to me AF. Hardly could I spend an hour in church and I won't doze off.
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by Godstraight(m): 1:14pm On Nov 27, 2016
plaetton:


I wonder how he could have missed that most important reason to go to church. cheesy
I just tire
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by keenn: 1:49pm On Nov 27, 2016
now it get so interesting when i go since everything appears only at the superficial.

but again, i feel so irritated during the prayer session. even if i gibber, i can't stand gibbering for that long a time. makes me look stupid.

i end up half-opening my eyes to peep at those praying and crying or those falling under anointing.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by EyeHateGod: 2:28pm On Nov 27, 2016
For this ressision? I no get 0ne naira to Waste For even Offering...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by jonbellion(m): 2:35pm On Nov 27, 2016
Yeah well you can go over once in a while anyway like during Christmas or something
But I hardly go. I don't think I've gone up to 7 times this year
Lol godgay you're right church girls are even the worst
You can also try and talk some sense into your Muslim pals
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by hahn(m): 2:40pm On Nov 27, 2016
I really cannot stand the lies. My life has improved since I threw religion and God into the trash

The next time I am in a church, I promise I am going to dip my hands inside the offering basket and take my share. ANd if they ask, I will say the spirit led me tongue

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by jonbellion(m): 2:56pm On Nov 27, 2016
hahn:
I really cannot stand the lies. My life has improved since I threw religion and God into the trash

The next time I am in a church, I promise I am going to dip my hands inside the offering basket and take my share. ANd if they ask, I will say the spirit led me tongue
aah
Do you want to incur the wrath of the offering comiteeGod?

4 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by hahn(m): 3:03pm On Nov 27, 2016
jonbellion:
aah
Do you want to incur the wrath of the offering comiteeGod?

cheesy grin
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by JackBizzle: 3:11pm On Nov 27, 2016
plaetton:



I wonder how he could have missed that most important reason to go to church.
cheesy


1) I'm engaged.

2) I don't think you would want to partner or date a desperate religious girl who is desperate for husband.

3) Relationships built on lies rarely last. If I were to date a christian girl it wouldnt be a babe that I met at church. Church is for business not pleasure wink

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by JackBizzle: 3:12pm On Nov 27, 2016
hahn:
I really cannot stand the lies. My life has improved since I threw religion and God into the trash

The next time I am in a church, I promise I am going to dip my hands inside the offering basket and take my share. ANd if they ask, I will say the spirit led me tongue


You know that pastors now have armed bodyguards? Na die you wan die so? grin grin

1 Like

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by Godstraight(m): 3:22pm On Nov 27, 2016
jonbellion:
Yeah well you can go over once in a while anyway like during Christmas or something
But I hardly go. I don't think I've gone up to 7 times this year
Lol godgay you're right church girls are even the worst
You can also try and talk some sense into your Muslim pals
I love on nzw year eve,apart from that it is a show of. boredom .
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by bennyann: 3:23pm On Nov 27, 2016
Sorry for intruding.

No matter what you do, you can't deceive your creator.
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by Nobody: 3:26pm On Nov 27, 2016
CAPSLOCKED:

NO... BECAUSE I'M A TEMPERAMENTAL PERSON.

I CAN'T SIT IN A PLACE FULL OF LIES AND DECEPTION WITHOUT LOSING MY COOL. undecided
Hahaha. grin
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by Nobody: 3:35pm On Nov 27, 2016
I stopped attending church since last year. Everything suddenly stopped making sense.


Though my parents think I'm demonised and are bent on winning me over.

I found that going to church does not actually offer any tangible help. It pulls you deeper into the pit of depression.




A large number of christians are like the white lotus in the movie Once Upon A Time In China - willfully following a blind cause without asking questions.

Most of them have a bleak outlook of uncertainty towards life. And they equally want you to view life through that suffocating lens. Lol.

I'd rather visit a psychologist or a therapist than pastors who are readily eager to up their extortation game and would still leave you unsatisfied.

5 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by taurus25(m): 5:16pm On Nov 27, 2016
JackBizzle:



1) I'm engaged.

2) I don't think you would want to partner or date a desperate religious girl who is desperate for husband.

3) Relationships built on lies rarely last. If I were to date a christian girl it wouldnt be a babe that I met at church. Church is for business not pleasure wink

Exactly. Imagine one of those girls holding prayer and fasting session on your head.
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by obinna58(m): 5:31pm On Nov 27, 2016
Depending on the type of church you go(eg catholic) cos some churches can be provoking (chosen, socan)
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by JackBizzle: 5:39pm On Nov 27, 2016
taurus25:


Exactly. Imagine one of those girls holding prayer and fasting session on your head.





grin

worst is if they report you to the pastor. Some pastors can be silly and try to interlope into your relationship.
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by JackBizzle: 5:44pm On Nov 27, 2016
NinjaX:
I stopped attending church since last year. Everything suddenly stopped making sense.


Though my parents think I'm demonised and are bent on winning me over.

I found that going to church does not actually offer any tangible help. It pulls you deeper into the pit of depression.




A large number of christians are like the white lotus in the movie Once Upon A Time In China - willfully following a blind cause without asking questions.

Most of them have a bleak outlook of uncertainty towards life. And they equally want you to view life through that suffocating lens. Lol.

I'd rather visit a psychologist or a therapist than pastors who are readily eager to up their extortation game and would still leave you unsatisfied.

I would advice you to go to church to at least satisfy your parents.

When the pastor's bullshite is too much, I just walk to my car and start browsing on my phone.
Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by JackBizzle: 5:45pm On Nov 27, 2016
plaetton:
I used to attend from to time with my family, for appearances.
But gosh, the Bullshytes became overwhelming. I could hardly contain myself.
My wife's pastor is a narcissistic axxhole, who reads dictionary in the night, and then comes to the pulpit on Sundays to intimidate his sheeple with meaningless verbiage. I personally think he is mildly insane. It goes with the territory.

Anyway, the Bullshytes grew too much for me. My irritation could no longer hold.
I stopped going, for many years now.


grin grin grin

sounds like KingEbukasblog

7 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by plaetton: 6:03pm On Nov 27, 2016
JackBizzle:



grin grin grin

sounds like KingEbukasblog
Lol.
grin
He better not grow up to be a pastor.
That would be nuclear.
grin

2 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by JackBizzle: 6:10pm On Nov 27, 2016
plaetton:

Lol.
grin
He better not grow up to be a pastor.
That would be nuclear.
grin

Its from the guy's mouth that I learnt this word; Prolixity.

the guy's congregation would develop headache from all the big grammar

2 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by plaetton: 6:17pm On Nov 27, 2016
JackBizzle:


Its from the guy's mouth that I learnt this word; Prolixity.

the guy's congregation would develop headache from all the big grammar

As a church goer, have you noticed and wondered why Christians love big English words and convoluted phrases when praying to their God ?

It almost seems like the bigger the words and and the more convoluted the phrases in prayer, the more powerful and most likely to reach God's abode on the outskirts of the universe.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Nigerian Atheists Should Go To Church (for atheists only) by JackBizzle: 6:22pm On Nov 27, 2016
plaetton:


As a church goer, have you noticed and wondered why Christians love big English words and convoluted phrases when praying to their God ?

It almost seems like the bigger the words and and the more convoluted the phrases in prayer, the more powerful and most likely to reach God's abode on the outskirts of the universe.


Deepsight 3;16

For the word is salad and salad is the word and henceth, whosoever believeth in it and eateth of if shall have everlasting eloquence

1 Like

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