janefrancisca:
This is my first time of creating a topic on nairaland...so pardon my little flaws. a friend of mine is avin issues in her matrimonial home and her husband is insisting he will take away their little son who is just a year and three months from d mum and keep him in d village wit his mum who is down with partial stroke and his elder sis who is in her late 50s and unmarried in the village. Now my friend is insisting that she must go wit her baby and she is pregnant wit d second child whom the husband is saying he is not the father. Since my friend got married to the man, it has been from one problem to anoda. Most times he goes out without dropping food money for her and her baby and wen she complains, he will tel her to go and meet her wealthy father and if she insists on collecting d money, the next thing he does is to beat her up. Anytime she visits her parents and comes home, he will pick a fight wit her and tell her d worst her father can do is to lock him up. He calls her a prostitute and says all kind of demeaning words to her. Two months ago, she called and said she is fed up but I begged her to just tolerate. Today the husband called her and said he is fed up that they shud both part ways but he is leaving with his son and my friend is saying she will never leave her son...wot advice do I give my friend? plz ur contributions are needed urgently.

braine:
OP, you are painting the man to be the bad guy here.Remember Newton's law that says 'every action brings about equal but opposite reaction'. Tell us more about your friend and what she does to the man first.

Acidosis:
There's nothing you can do about your friend's marriage. She needs to inform her parents so they can intervene.

Also and most importantly, ensure she meets her premarital wedding shoot photographer for a refund. For every marriage that crashes, photographers must make refunds for luring and deceiving photo-freaks with graphical and over-the-counter excitements.

Viking007:
So Your friend is the perfect house wife with no blame whatsoever, while the husband is the monster? Ok.

Well, we still have courts in Nigeria, if she wants to keep her son.

eyinjuege:


Unless of course the wife is lying about her husband beating her, there's no justification for assault on anyone.
Even if the wife was the laziest, dirtiest living prostitute on earth why not just divorce her and part ways?
Why assault her?
Will it still be acceptable for a wife to use pestle or scalding hot water on a useless/laziest irresponsible womaniser of a man?
Please let's all learn to speak out against violence. Violence is never the answer.

Viking007:


I never supported or justified assault on anyone. Like I said: She should just get a divorce.

Mimzyy:


How about giving him a break first? Counselling? Divorce straight up kwa?

Viking007:

Husband said "he is fed up wants full custody of his kids"
I dunno how "counseling" will settle this.

Besides, from the Op's description, the wife is a saint who is unlucky to marry a "demon".
My advice still remains the same: get a divorce & be free.

Mimzyy:


Let them even try to fix it first. Divorce can be considered when all other options fail.

Acidosis:
There's nothing you can do about your friend's marriage. She needs to inform her parents so they can intervene.

Also and most importantly, ensure she meets her premarital wedding shoot photographer for a refund. For every marriage that crashes, photographers must make refunds for luring and deceiving photo-freaks with graphical and over-the-counter excitements.

1000 likes.

janefrancisca:
This is my first time of creating a topic on nairaland...so pardon my little flaws. a friend of mine is avin issues in her matrimonial home and her husband is insisting he will take away their little son who is just a year and three months from d mum and keep him in d village wit his mum who is down with partial stroke and his elder sis who is in her late 50s and unmarried in the village. Now my friend is insisting that she must go wit her baby and she is pregnant wit d second child whom the husband is saying he is not the father. Since my friend got married to the man, it has been from one problem to anoda. Most times he goes out without dropping food money for her and her baby and wen she complains, he will tel her to go and meet her wealthy father and if she insists on collecting d money, the next thing he does is to beat her up. Anytime she visits her parents and comes home, he will pick a fight wit her and tell her d worst her father can do is to lock him up. He calls her a prostitute and says all kind of demeaning words to her. Two months ago, she called and said she is fed up but I begged her to just tolerate. Today the husband called her and said he is fed up that they shud both part ways but he is leaving with his son and my friend is saying she will never leave her son...wot advice do I give my friend? plz ur contributions are needed urgently.

JoeBlocks:
There are some things that don't next fixing.

No matter how a broken glass is fixed. The signs that it's broken will show.

Mimzyy:


God forbid this, if you had an accident and the bones in your legs got smashed. The doctor proceeds to tell you that you have two options.

1. To walk with a crutch all your life and also put you on daily medications.
2. To have your legs amputated completely.

Whic of these would you pick?

JoeBlocks:
It varies my dear. Bodily damage can not be the same with emotional damage. It's two different things.

I'm sure you know there are two types of pain: internal and external. While both scar and heal, internal pain takes much longer to heal.

So, if you damage a man's legs or body parts, it can be fixed, and if you damage a man's mind or heart, now fixing that is something else entirely.

Mimzyy:
Will it suffice to say that true love doesn't exist anymore then? Love forgives remember?

JoeBlocks:
Oh true love exist all right. It's just that it's hidden, well hidden and it's hard to find. Remember it's hard to locate a good egg in a basket full of bad eggs?

Babe, there are some things that true love can and will never forgive. That's a fact!.

Mimzyy:


I hear you

KevMitnick:
So her father is wealthy? Poor guy is tired of the humiliation from her family. It's unfortunate that he couldn't take a stand for himself earlier than now. Gentlemen, this is what happens when you marry a spoilt rich girl from a controlling family, they'll drive you to the edge of darkness. Better to separate than to commit murder.

dayleke:
Why would he say,"the worst" the father in law can do is lock him up....
There is something more to it...
There could have been threats before the final straw....