https://www.nairaland.com/3552370/friend-afraid-getting-married
The thread above and that of the brilliant guy from badcock university that commit suicide moved me to put this together. A lot of people need help and I wish many can learn one or two things from this thread.
You have no Business Staying down; You're More Than What You Think Of Yourself!

Low self-esteem is seeing yourself as inadequate, unacceptable, unworthy, unlovable, and/or incompetent. These beliefs create negative, self-critical thoughts that affect your behaviour and your life choices, often lowering your self-esteem even further...in simple terms; Low self-esteem Is thinking less of yourself.

forgive yourself, let go of the past and move on

Most of the cases of low self-esteem and depression can be traced to pains and hurt from the past. It may be traced to an irresponsible and selfish parent, abuses, mistakes on your part. Whatever may be the case, as long as you can't forgive yourself(note that I didn't say forgive the offender) and let go, you'll keep living on the past and when that happens, you can't face your future.
This is how you should see it; your past is a fixed deposit that you can't change, so stop dwelling on it. If anything worth troubling and worrying about at all, It must be what you can change but if you can change it, then go ahead and don't spend another seconds staying down.

Live in the moment

When you are focused on the moment, you can choose your actions consciously and wisely, unaffected by the hurts of your past and unconcerned by worries or hopes about the future.

Learn to say no. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Often we say yes because of the fear of authority, the fear of hurting someone’s feelings, or worries that we will let someone down. But every time you say a yes that you don’t mean, you’ll end up doing a half-hearted job. And then you are unhappy that you said what you didn’t want to say, and you are unhappy that you did such a lousy job of what you said you would do.

Break out of that habit. Instead, just say what you mean and mean what you say. You don’t have to be rude about it; just be firm and decisive. Developing the ability to speak your mind in a kind but firm manner, and to really deliver on your promises, will go a long way in building lasting self-esteem.

Stop Looking for Who To Blame and Be non-judgemental.

When we approach our lives non-judgementally, we simply accept ourselves, our experiences, our failures and successes and other people just as they are, either good or bad, without pride or shame.
Learn to take responsibility when you make mistakes instead of looking for who To blame....this will help you learn from those mistakes and avoid repeating It next time instead of concluding that you failed just because you're not capable.

Love yourself like seriously

You deserve love as much as anyone else. Self-Love simply means providing yourself with the love, safety and acceptance you need. Appreciate God and celebrate who you're always; you're unique, wonderful and no one else can be you; you need to not only remind yourself these facts but know that to be true. You shouldn't wait till others say good things about you before you'll be happy; The approval and acceptance of others should be secondary!


Love and learn to Help others.

No amount of fortune, fame, success, beauty, intelligence, or strength can give you the same sense of personal gratification or a sense of purpose as a genuine “thank you” from someone you help. Again, nothing can give you much happiness as much as seeing someone you helped happy.

When you stop being so wrapped up in your own worries, sorrows, self pity, and regrets and start being a part of the bigger picture, with a role to play in this universe, your sense of self-worth and self-esteem gets a whole new definition. Give freely. Help always whenever you can. You will get more than what you thought you ever needed.

See A Doctor

Lastly, In a addition to all the above, you may still need to see a doctor when you're too depressed To Help yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of in taking this decision; it's about taking good care of yourself.
Note that depression is the senior brother of low self-esteem; same remedy applies to both but you'll need to see a doctor at that point when you can nolonger help yourself please.

#Shalom

Cc
Seun
Lalasticlala
RoyalRoy

nice one OP. I love your topics but this one seems to be one of the best.
Seun, Lalasticlala let this get to the promised land please; there's a lot to learn here than all those cosmetic threads we're having these lately.

Very true. Having low self-esteem can be really detrimental to a person's existence. And so many extraneous factors tend to contribute to it. But the real truth is that having a healthy self-esteem depends on the person's inner being not some facade the society throws at us.

Take the new year gift from me.