It is no longer news that finding a life partner is paramount on the minds of many who believe they are of marriageable age. There seem to be a lot of young men and women of this age out there but coming together seems an arduous task owing to the fear of getting it wrong or getting the wrong person. Many young men and women believe that finding a life partner requires no conscious effort. They believe that a husband or a wife would someday emerge from the blue sky and make all things perfect in their lives. This belief is more pronounced amongst the ladies who most times feel it’s not their responsibility to search for a life partner. As much as I agree that it’s a bit awkward for a young woman to make efforts towards a man she really has feelings for, it is important to note that the issue lies with how the effort is made and not the effort itself. A young woman may not take steps to approach a young man (for whatever reason) but she surely should be ready to receive or reject the efforts made by the male folk. Nothing should be left to chance. Making effort is healthy for both young men and young women but how the effort is made could be where the problem is. Relationship is very delicate; so much that a little effort made in good faith might be misconstrued thereby hurting one or both parties. Below are a few steps one can consider in finding a life partner.

1: Be Prepared

Being ready is one major criterion many tend to ignore when it comes to marriage. Very few people take steps towards real preparation for marriage before meeting a life partner. Preparation entails reading books, attending seminars, reading relevant articles and asking for guidance from a trusted counselor. It also involves plotting out what you want in marital life- companionship, children,financial stability, peace and harmony etc. This preparation will enable you discover on your own whether the person you met has what it takes. This is the first step to take when trying to find a life partner. Being ready does not mean being of age; it involves among other things, having achieved a certain level of growth academically, skill wise and intellectually. This will enable you make a wise decision without having to settle for anybody that appears.

2: Be Accessible:

In order to find someone or for someone to find you, you must put yourself out there. If you have no time to attend social functions organised by family and friends, if you have no time for associations, if you have no time to participate in events that will get you noticed, I wonder who would find you. Do not be a lone ranger. Be part of clubs and associations; be part of church groups or community groups at different levels. It is also very possible to find someone on the social media; you, however need to be very careful on that. ( We shall soon dwell on the pros and cons of social media hook ups).Do not wear scary looks; look cheerful and make as many positive friends as possible.

3: Be Valuable:

Nobody wants to be associated with a liability. Believe it or not, most people these days want valuable people around them. Those who constitute liabilities are seen as nuisance these days. Gone are the days when people marry for the sake of it. Today, every young man wants a woman who is valuable and can contribute to the growth of the family. No woman wants a man whose interest is in what his family can do for him. It is not a question of having a fat bank account; it’s a matter of being hardworking and productive. It is the ability to think outside the box; the ability to see opportunities and take advantage of them. Get yourself busy and be consistent and committed with what you are doing, you might just meet your partner through your job. Be physically and intellectually valuable.

4: Be Bold Enough:

A lot of young men and women are not bold enough to ask out. Many have lost opportunities of hooking up with someone they really care about because they were not bold enough to ask out. Many also gave up easily because they felt the other party did not respond as quickly as they expected. Many successful unions went through stages of growth. Expression of interest most times begin with simple greetings and exchange of pleasantries. This will guarantee some level of interest. When that interest is finally established, when it has become obvious to both parties, do not hesitate to ask out.

5: Be Responsible:

You need to be calm and gentle especially when meeting people for the first time. You can make or mare the entire relationship during your first meeting. You must carry yourself with dignity and self respect. Some lads think they can meet a lady for the first time and ask her out immediately. Common sense is enough to tell you she’ll say ‘no’ whereas she’s obviously interested in him. Leave the conversation open ended; make it very interesting, talk and leave to talk another day. Avoid talking too much! Appreciate his or her time with you and say something like “It’s really nice talking with you”.

6: Be Healthy:

I see a lot of young men and women who take time out to exercise. This is quite commendable. Cultivating good health habit through nutrition and exercise is a way of making yurself attractive. You’ll agree with me that many do not care about this and it constitutes a serious hindrance. Being healthy is not just about exercise and nutrition; it’s also about appearing clean. It’s about taking care of social diseases such as mouth odour or body odour.
I’ve heard two or three ladies talk about quitting their relationships as a result of bad breath. Who’d want to kiss a smelling mouth? If you have other health issues such as anxiety, depression, etc , do not hesitate to ask for help.

7: Make Adjustments:

The fact that you’ve set out your marital goals does not mean they are Persian laws and therefore cannot be changed. When you find someone who really cares about you and supports more than 50% of your goals; someone who probably has expanded your horizon and contributed to achieving some of your most cherished goals, you have actually found a partner.

8: Avoid Domination:

You are likely to lose that friend if you keep on operating with a domineering spirit. When you make it look like your partner should be put under control in all circumstances, you’re getting it wrong. It’s only a matter of time, you’ll go your separate ways. It’s better you quit as soon as you notice you cannot operate on equal basis than to put your partner down every now and then. This also includes believing you can change somebody’s character; it’s a near impossibility to change a person’s character.

9: Know When to Quit:

It is either you were prepared for a relationship which gives you an opportunity to quickly discern whether to go on or not, or you’re already in it (far deep into it) before coming to understand that it’s not the best for you; either way, you must know when to quit. No relationship is a do-or-die. It’s always far better to quit than to live in misery in the name of marriage. Never believe that anything can change for the better after you say “I do”. It might even get worse.

10: Say Yes to Love:

When every other thing has been put in place, ensure real love exists. If everything exists in the absence of love, nothing actually exists. Never marry out of pity or because you’re afraid of what people would say. Never marry because you’re pregnant for him or she’s pregnant for you. Never marry because you think time is against you. Marry because you have found love! True love do exist and it never dies.



Your Comments on this post on my blog would be appreciated. Help grow the community.
Best Regards.

Source: https://steveobiakor.com/2017/01/09/finding-a-life-partner-steve/

There Sense In Your Aforemention Write-up

I am an introvert..and I really don't know how to open up more.

When you have all these qualities and yet no toaster or fiancee......just find your way to Shiloh.

hisss ib sunmary just be wu you are and dont force it

10: Say Yes to Love:

When every other thing has been put in place, ensure real love exists. If everything exists in the absence of love, nothing actually exists. Never marry out of pity or because you’re afraid of what people would say. Never marry because you’re pregnant for him or she’s pregnant for you. Never marry because you think time is against you. Marry because you have found love! True love do exist and it never dies.



This really sat well with me. Great write up op and I'll be sure to check out your blog. Thank you, I enjoyed reading this.

Nnfe:
I am an introvert..and I really don't know how to open up more.

Lolxx, are you male or female?

firstking01:
Lolxx, are you male or female?

Female.

Nnfe:
Female.

You said you are too intoverted and can't make friends?

Nnfe:
I am an introvert..and I really don't know how to open up more.

I understand, same thing with me, I hate going to parties or talking with strangers. You just av to try to go out more, you can start small by taking evening strolls, asking a stranger for the time and keeping a cheerful face wen talking to people. It helps a lot.

OK

MackBrooklyn:








Lol, Baba no be N18million??

Lmao!.. I never get that kin' Money naH.. Nah only Jude fit get thah amount

MackBrooklyn:
My Guy: Brook, I'm going to the gym so as to impress ladies and also maybe find a life partner... Which machine should I use??


Me: Use the ATM Machine, Man... #Fact

God!! why do guys think money makes a happy relationship.. currently dating an averagely rich guy and i must confess i still dey remember my ex wey nor even get car, wey nor even get shingbain and i was damn happy in the relationship.... the dude jos Bleep up i swear..

MackBrooklyn:







Lol, N18M no be small money OoO... Make Jude con do normal for the boiz na

Baba naH only for im dream im get that kin' Money o.. For real life na #1500 dey im acct

sexymoma:
God!! why do guys think money makes a happy relationship.. currently dating an averagely rich guy and i must confess i still dey remember my ex wey nor even get car, wey nor even get shingbain and i was damn happy in the relationship.... the dude jos Bleep up i swear..

Continue Lying, God follow from heaven dey look you

Presh9OO:
Continue Lying, God follow from heaven dey look you

i dont reply newbies on nl.. their comments nor dey make sense

sexymoma:
i dont reply newbies on nl.. their comments nor dey make sense

Anu .. You might wanna check this out ===> www.nairaland.com/Presh900

MackBrooklyn:







Then _fucking tell us why you break up with that your so-called ex in the first place since you said you're damn happy with the relationship

i bliv you saw the part that i wrote "the dude fvcked up" i wasn't at fault oo my brother.

Rules, Rules , Rules! All made to be broken. The most important is Be yourself. If you follow rules to impress you will fall out of it one day and your partner will see you for whom you are. Be the best version of yourself.

Love ko, Novel ni
Money
Money
Money
and live life like Ronaldo with diff Girls
The girls will still be fighting for you

Fadman4real:

I understand, same thing with me, I hate going to parties or talking with strangers. You just av to try to go out more, you can start small by taking evening strolls, asking a stranger for the time and keeping a cheerful face wen talking to people. It helps a lot.

I do all these things, actually I like going out, having fun buh I don't always being at the centre of attention, or being in a group talking and talking and mind you, I always know what to say buh I just don't like talking in the midst of people...I get tired of convos like that, I don't like arguing even if I know I'm right..lol..Just One kain

Nnfe:
I do all these things, actually I like going out, having fun buh I don't always being at the centre of attention, or being in a group talking and talking and mind you, I always know what to say buh I just don't like talking in the midst of people...I get tired of convos like that, I don't like arguing even if I know I'm right..lol..Just One kain

Yea same thing with me, but wen I am with friends or people I know I tend to be an extrovert but in the midst of strangers I dont talk at all.

Fadman4real:


Yea same thing with me, but wen I am with friends or people I know I tend to be an extrovert but in the midst of strangers I dont talk at all.

lol..I don't like it buh I can't help it..

10: Say Yes to Love:

When every other thing has been put in place, ensure real love exists. If everything exists in the absence of love, nothing actually exists. Never marry out of pity or because you’re afraid of what people would say. Never marry because you’re pregnant for him or she’s pregnant for you. Never marry because you think time is against you. Marry because you have found love! True love do exist and it never dies.



This really sat well with me. Great write up op and I'll be sure to check out your blog. Thank you, I enjoyed reading this.

Thanks. I appreciate your contribution. See you on the blog.

Nice write up op.