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Family Problem (true Life Story) - Family - Nairaland

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Family Problem (true Life Story) by youngestland: 7:42am On Jan 17, 2017
Hello

I have been married for 2 years now and i have been doing all my best to give my wife a comfortable life here in nigeria.

My wife on the other hand has not been okay with the idea of staying in nigeria, shes always been wanting a life in USA which i have told her several times that i do not want that life since i am fine in nigeria. I live in my own house i have tenants paying me rent and i have a stress free job.
Now this is the story i woke up one morning and got ready for work, kissed my wife goodbye and i left only for me to close, drove home to meet an empty house i picked up my phone called her but it was switched off i called the mom if she knows anything she said she traveled to the village to settle an issue that she will come back the next day. I chilled to the next day thinking when i come from work i will meet my wife only to meet no one again now i was worried i called the mom again this time she said she is worried too that she will go to the village tomorrow and she will call me when she gets there.

I started suspecting then i did some investigation only to find out that my wife is in USA. i was out of control that night. My wife called me that same night begging me and trying to sweet talk me into moving to USA i told her shes joking young men leave nigeria to abroad to go hustle so they can get what i have in nigeria why will i leave nigeria in my mid 30 to go hustle when i have all the basic things in life i told her its a NO NO for me.

Now i could not take the emotional pains so i started trying to sike her to come back and i will give her all the money shes spent at first she was like i should please chill that we will work it out that i can come visiting and she too can come to nigeria too bla bla bla. so one morning i called her really pleaded with her to come back and offered her money she agreed and told me i should send the money i actually did send the money and when it was time for her to come she did not come only for me to call her and shes telling me she cant just leave her education in USA that this is the life she wants

Now this is what i want to do, i want to move on i really cant stand distance relationship and she has hurt me seriously. she even took along our court wedding certificate saying she doesnt want me to marry another woman or tear it out of anger.

Please i need advise how can i get a divorce on this issue because i really want to move on.

1 Like

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by OLAFIMIX(f): 7:49am On Jan 17, 2017
Shuu, Oga oo. Abeg move on.

1 Like

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by frenzydilz(m): 7:51am On Jan 17, 2017
Hmmm
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by youngestland: 7:58am On Jan 17, 2017
OLAFIMIX:
Shuu, Oga oo. Abeg move on.

How do i do that can i get a divorce without her and my certificate

if she brings a fight can i win in court
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by peterdrury: 8:04am On Jan 17, 2017
You are a good man, but it's obvious you married the wrong person. For her to plan her trip without informing you tells who she really is. I'm certain that her mum was aware of the trip. Let time do the healing, the question now is, are you ready to move on?

3 Likes

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by youngestland: 8:14am On Jan 17, 2017
peterdrury:
You are a good man, but it's obvious you married the wrong person. For her to plan her trip without informing you tells who she really is. I'm certain that her mum was aware of the trip. Let time do the healing, the question now is, are you ready to move on?
boss do i really have a choice here i am really ready to move on

i have gone through with healing it was very hard i even tried suicide shame on me.

so instead of killing myself if moving on will help me then i think i should

infact am in talks with someone new and shes a real distraction and fun to be with i do not mind moving on with her but what can i do if she refuse me divorce and the certificate

1 Like

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by wizzprince(m): 8:49am On Jan 17, 2017
do court refuse divorce
reach der first na
but say no to divorce
if she like mk she hide the certificate for grave
if she catches you with another lady
she will get to that court bfor you
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by krauss: 9:04am On Jan 17, 2017
Sorry for being this crude. I dislike weaklings. You are still asking for what to do. Spits....What has come over some men in the society.

4 Likes

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by krauss: 9:08am On Jan 17, 2017
If you are serious with this, you would have sought for legal injunctions or advice from a lawyer. I can't validate docility(sorry if I am being too hard). Do you want someone to hold you hostage? If not, go seek for advice from your lawyer and be committed to that. Don't be a maga like they will always say here on nairaland. I cannot allow anyone to trifle with my emotions. It seems we have not too strong men these days( like rapper Ice t will always say)

2 Likes

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by youngestland: 9:14am On Jan 17, 2017
krauss:
If you are serious with this, you would have sought for legal injunctions or advice from a lawyer. I can't validate docility(sorry if I am being too hard). Do you want someone to hold you hostage? If not, go seek for advice from your lawyer and be committed to that. Don't be a maga like they will always say here on nairaland. I cannot allow anyone to trifle with my emotions. It seems we have not too strong men these days( like rapper Ice t will always say)
okay house i sure will act fast

1 Like

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by GoldCircle: 11:18am On Jan 17, 2017
youngestland:
Hello

I have been married for 2 years now and i have been doing all my best to give my wife a comfortable life here in nigeria.

My wife on the other hand has not been okay with the idea of staying in nigeria, shes always been wanting a life in USA which i have told her several times that i do not want that life since i am fine in nigeria. I live in my own house i have tenants paying me rent and i have a stress free job.
Now this is the story i woke up one morning and got ready for work, kissed my wife goodbye and i left only for me to close, drove home to meet an empty house i picked up my phone called her but it was switched off i called the mom if she knows anything she said she traveled to the village to settle an issue that she will come back the next day. I chilled to the next day thinking when i come from work i will meet my wife only to meet no one again now i was worried i called the mom again this time she said she is worried too that she will go to the village tomorrow and she will call me when she gets there.

I started suspecting then i did some investigation only to find out that my wife is in USA. i was out of control that night. My wife called me that same night begging me and trying to sweet talk me into moving to USA i told her shes joking young men leave nigeria to abroad to go hustle so they can get what i have in nigeria why will i leave nigeria in my mid 30 to go hustle when i have all the basic things in life i told her its a NO NO for me.

Now i could not take the emotional pains so i started trying to sike her to come back and i will give her all the money shes spent at first she was like i should please chill that we will work it out that i can come visiting and she too can come to nigeria too bla bla bla. so one morning i called her really pleaded with her to come back and offered her money she agreed and told me i should send the money i actually did send the money and when it was time for her to come she did not come only for me to call her and shes telling me she cant just leave her education in USA that this is the life she wants

Now this is what i want to do, i want to move on i really cant stand distance relationship and she has hurt me seriously. she even took along our court wedding certificate saying she doesnt want me to marry another woman or tear it out of anger.

Please i need advise how can i get a divorce on this issue because i really want to move on.

Serious issue here I tell you. @op, you didn't mention if you two had kids together. That also will influence your next line of action. cos it's alot easier to move on when kids aren't involved.
In any case, this shows that your wife hasn't been on the same page with you for a long time and that she had this all figured out. Maybe you were too blind to see. Moving on through the divorce route will be a long one as the marriage certificate is with your wife. She's virtually tied you. You'll have to talk to a lawyer vast in marriage issues to untie this part. cos without the certificate, it a long thing to have a divorce.

Talking about your mother-in-law, I am of the opinion that she had a fore-knowledge of what your wife was up to. That's just the way life goes. A man has got to be a man.

My advice, pick up the pieces and move on. A wife like you just described won't have a problem moving on even if you drop dead. And please don't contemplate relocating to the USA. She'll make your life even more miserable over here.
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by YesNo(m): 12:49pm On Jan 17, 2017
what type of Selfish, wicked, inconsiderate and manipulative she-devil did you marry?

nothing will make me beg such a wicked soul to come back.

some people think this life is all about them and what they want.

i hate such stories... am angry already.

Mr Man... do you really want such a wicked being back into your life? such a person who can plot and scheme and leave you when you are not looking?

that woman has no heart in her cold body.

God forbid

3 Likes

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by youngestland: 2:09pm On Jan 17, 2017
GoldCircle:


Serious issue here I tell you. @op, you didn't mention if you two had kids together. That also will influence your next line of action. cos it's alot easier to move on when kids aren't involved.
In any case, this shows that your wife hasn't been on the same page with you for a long time and that she had this all figured out. Maybe you were too blind to see. Moving on through the divorce route will be a long one as the marriage certificate is with your wife. She's virtually tied you. You'll have to talk to a lawyer vast in marriage issues to untie this part. cos without the certificate, it a long thing to have a divorce.

Talking about your mother-in-law, I am of the opinion that she had a fore-knowledge of what your wife was up to. That's just the way life goes. A man has got to be a man.

My advice, pick up the pieces and move on. A wife like you just described won't have a problem moving on even if you drop dead. And please don't contemplate relocating to the USA. She'll make your life even more miserable over here.

Thanks for your advice
we dont have any kid and there is no way am moving to USA i love my country and i am okay with all i have

please house i believe i can start a relationship and even start a family without any punishment

Thanks
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by youngestland: 2:12pm On Jan 17, 2017
YesNo:
what type of Selfish, wicked, inconsiderate and manipulative she-devil did you marry?

nothing will make me beg such a wicked soul to come back.

some people think this life is all about them and what they want.

i hate such stories... am angry already.

Mr Man... do you really want such a wicked being back into your life? such a person who can plot and scheme and leave you when you are not looking?

that woman has no heart in her cold body.

God forbid

my brother i tire o thats my life story.

I wish her good and even i pray she becomes more successful than i am self, i dont care all i want is for me to be happy in life

At this point i can NEVER take her back
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by YesNo(m): 2:18pm On Jan 17, 2017
youngestland:


my brother i tire o thats my life story.

I wish her good and even i pray she becomes more successful than i am self, i dont care all i want is for me to be happy in life

At this point i can NEVER take her back

it is really painful. I can imagine how everything would be looking like a dream to you.

you wish her well and pray for her. this means she still exists to you and there is a possibility that you will take her back if she comes back to you with plenty tears in her eyes and starts begging. not a crime to accept her back sha.

she seems to know how and when to press your button.

God please keep such women far from my sweet life.
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by youngestland: 2:23pm On Jan 17, 2017
YesNo:


it is really painful. I can imagine how everything would be looking like a dream to you.

you wish her well and pray for her. this means she still exists to you and there is a possibility that you will take her back if she comes back to you with plenty tears in her eyes and starts begging. not a crime to accept her back sha.

she seems to know how and when to press your button.

God please keep such women far from my sweet life.

Hmmmmm i can never take her back o even i dont want to see her family again self

Even if she like let her come and cry blood am done as in DONE

I wish everyone well even my enemies that doesnt make me still want her back

1 Like

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by eyinjuege: 2:26pm On Jan 17, 2017
You seem to have the means, so why don't you go to the US, and file for the divorce there? Serve her the papers there na. You were literally abandoned by your wife, and you'd like to move on with your life.
$#it happens.
I'm not sure if you can obtain copies of your marriage certificate, because if you can, do so and start the proceedings here in Naija. I'm sure you have your wife's address in the US, so go and serve her the court papers or send it through dhl. If its up to one year, you're good to go.
Its a pity you both were never on the same page.
Its not a sin to want to live in the US, neither is it a sin to want to stay back in Nigeria, and make your daily bread. Its just a case of irreconcilable differences. Just try and make yourself happy, while she also does the same since you both want different things.

1 Like

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by YesNo(m): 3:09pm On Jan 17, 2017
youngestland:

Hmmmmm i can never take her back o even i dont want to see her family again self

Even if she like let her come and cry blood am done as in DONE

I wish everyone well even my enemies that doesnt make me still want her back

please when did this issue happen.? when did she leave?
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by youngestland: 3:38pm On Jan 17, 2017
eyinjuege:
You seem to have the means, so why don't you go to the US, and file for the divorce there? Serve her the papers there na. You were literally abandoned by your wife, and you'd like to move on with your life.
$#it happens.
I'm not sure if you can obtain copies of your marriage certificate, because if you can, do so and start the proceedings here in Naija. I'm sure you have your wife's address in the US, so go and serve her the court papers or send it through dhl. If its up to one year, you're good to go.
Its a pity you both were never on the same page.
Its not a sin to want to live in the US, neither is it a sin to want to stay back in Nigeria, and make your daily bread. Its just a case of irreconcilable differences. Just try and make yourself happy, while she also does the same since you both want different things.

ok
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by youngestland: 3:39pm On Jan 17, 2017
YesNo:


please when did this issue happen.? when did she leave?

After new year
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by raumdeuter: 4:12pm On Jan 17, 2017
I am not certain you MUST have a copy of your court wedding certificate to get a divorce, worst case you should be able to get the copy from a court.

Get the copy send the divorce to her on whatsapp with allegation of abandonment. Find another woman and use her picture as DP

Move on with your life
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by edwife(f): 4:21pm On Jan 17, 2017
youngestland:


After new year

All this happened within two weeks?
She must be the luckiest immigrant ever! grin

And you are talking to someone else and thinking of settling down within 2 weeks?

What a beautiful tale. *grabs pop corn* cool

3 Likes

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by OLAFIMIX(f): 4:27pm On Jan 17, 2017
After new year? And she has started schooling over there, you are into another relationship? Just within 2 weeks. angry angry sad embarassed

3 Likes

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by raumdeuter: 4:29pm On Jan 17, 2017
This thread is fiction most likely. How can someone say they cant divorce because of no cert. If the cert was lost or got burnt nko?
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by Nobody: 4:39pm On Jan 17, 2017
@youngestland


Na wa ooh,,...Do some men lose there sense of reasoning after marriage? Your Wife used U and dumped you...used u to get what she want...She didnt plan this overnight..this has been her plan for years back and even her mom supported her ,

U better go get a better GF pregnant and enjoy ur life , Dont worry about her.She has done her worst..Even if she goes to court she cant claim anything afterall no issue btw you both..

You better thank Ur star dat she showed her true colour.

If she can Act that way because of USA , That lady can kill you if her friend/relative poison her mind to do so and claim ur properties.
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by Marvel1206: 4:55pm On Jan 17, 2017
youngestland:

Hmmmmm i can never take her back o even i dont want to see her family again self

Even if she like let her come and cry blood am done as in DONE

I wish everyone well even my enemies that doesnt make me still want her back
It's obvious you've been married to a stranger all along. Her action is only trying to tell you that she doesn't need your permission before she does anything. Move on already and forget about her
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by carammel(f): 5:22pm On Jan 17, 2017
edwife:


All this happened within two weeks?
She must be the luckiest immigrant ever! grin

And you are talking to someone else and thinking of settling down within 2 weeks?

What a beautiful tale. *grabs pop corn* cool
Not saying the story is true but she may be lying about the school and the man even within a week can get another babe,he may have been cheating all along or eying one babe and got a perfect opportunity.
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by YesNo(m): 5:48pm On Jan 17, 2017
youngestland:


After new year

damn..
perfect time to hurt someone and let them carry the scar for the rest of the year.

people dey oh.

may God see you through this. Perhaps God let it happen so you can see the clear picture so better go for Thanksgiving.
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by Nobody: 6:43pm On Jan 17, 2017
Your wife's attitude is very strange.

It's obvious you both have different goals and plans for the future. How is it you never knew/or talked about this during courtship?

She's selfish o, taking along your wedding certificate.

Get a lawyer to advice you on divorce proceedings in this your special case.

1 Like

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by Nigga44: 7:19pm On Jan 17, 2017
I can't believe people believe this nonsense story

2 Likes

Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by Truckpusher(m): 9:16pm On Jan 17, 2017
youngestland:
Hello

I have been married for 2 years now and i have been doing all my best to give my wife a comfortable life here in nigeria.

My wife on the other hand has not been okay with the idea of staying in nigeria, shes always been wanting a life in USA which i have told her several times that i do not want that life since i am fine in nigeria. I live in my own house i have tenants paying me rent and i have a stress free job.
Now this is the story i woke up one morning and got ready for work, kissed my wife goodbye and i left only for me to close, drove home to meet an empty house i picked up my phone called her but it was switched off i called the mom if she knows anything she said she traveled to the village to settle an issue that she will come back the next day. I chilled to the next day thinking when i come from work i will meet my wife only to meet no one again now i was worried i called the mom again this time she said she is worried too that she will go to the village tomorrow and she will call me when she gets there.

I started suspecting then i did some investigation only to find out that my wife is in USA. i was out of control that night. My wife called me that same night begging me and trying to sweet talk me into moving to USA i told her shes joking young men leave nigeria to abroad to go hustle so they can get what i have in nigeria why will i leave nigeria in my mid 30 to go hustle when i have all the basic things in life i told her its a NO NO for me.

Now i could not take the emotional pains so i started trying to sike her to come back and i will give her all the money shes spent at first she was like i should please chill that we will work it out that i can come visiting and she too can come to nigeria too bla bla bla. so one morning i called her really pleaded with her to come back and offered her money she agreed and told me i should send the money i actually did send the money and when it was time for her to come she did not come only for me to call her and shes telling me she cant just leave her education in USA that this is the life she wants

Now this is what i want to do, i want to move on i really cant stand distance relationship and she has hurt me seriously. she even took along our court wedding certificate saying she doesnt want me to marry another woman or tear it out of anger.

Please i need advise how can i get a divorce on this issue because i really want to move on.
If I speak my mind nau ,nairalanders will call me a bush man. grin grin

Oga oh ! Na you be the husband or the wife ? grin
Re: Family Problem (true Life Story) by Sike(m): 10:17pm On Jan 17, 2017
Women tho.

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