Catalin:
This bae will not kill me . Abeg answer present for 2017 bride thread. Let's pick a wedding gown for you.

I don't know about the thread though, I know the gown I want and I'd like to use a wedding planner.

I'll try and check in later sha.

freecocoa:
I don't know about the thread though, I know the gown I want and I'd like to use a wedding planner.

I'll try and check in later sha.

That's cool.

cococandy:


The thing is sometimes I can understand where they come from. The definition of feminism is that it seeks equality (social, and otherwise) between men and women.

For some of them marriage is an opportunity for the man to dump on the woman and have his family walk all over her. No better than a glorified 'housemaidship' where the woman should be eternally grateful that a man considered her worthy of bearing his name.

You can understand how that definition of marriage and feminism don't go hand in hand.
For those who marriage is a partnership and all the parties give respect as they expect, feminism is not mutually exclusive.

Exactly. I understand where they come from in the sense that if I put myself in the shoes of someone with that mindset when it comes to marriage, I would likely feel the same way, but then that's the whole point of the feminist movement, to challenge such notions that the woman is not an equal and should be walked all over. Only for those who are being forced and want sha though oo lol, because oddly enough there are some women who are happy to play such roles and that's fair enough, since it's about having the freedom and liberty to make your own independent decision, whatever it may be.

1bkaye:

Exactly. I understand where they come from in the sense that if I put myself in the shoes of someone with that mindset when it comes to marriage, I would likely feel the same way, but then that's the whole point of the feminist movement, to challenge such notions that the woman is not an equal and should be walked all over. Only for those who are being forced and want sha though oo lol, because oddly enough there are some women who are happy to play such roles and that's fair enough, since it's about having the freedom and liberty to make your own independent decision, whatever it may be.

@bold Exactly. Versus trying to fit all women into a behavioral or temperamental box using culture and religion as a tool.

Sounds like you ladies are now taking a unified course on how to be a feminist.

cococandy:



@bold Exactly. Versus trying to fit all women into a behavioral or temperamental box using culture and religion as a tool.

Yup, they try to control women under the guise of so called culture and tradition and always manage to have more rules for the women than they do for themselves lmao, convenient

This doesn't seem real to me.

Amelian:
Smiles.. Congrats on your upcoming marriage.
By God's grace u will keep this one. and it shall be permanent
Amen.

Can't wait to get married too
My boo knows am. Anxiously waiting

God see us through.. Amen

Hmmm this your marriage thing...Sister ! Take am easy o, E go come at the right time.

Fabulocity:
Then you were never really a feminist...
Because a real feminist would always stand by her beliefs no matter what and wouldn't renege on them, especially for a marriage proposal from some man.

Like someone commented above, maybe you were just a feminist because the single life was frustrating you

Like every other lady that single life was frustrating them also. They always a reason for taking a decision lol

pocohantas:
On a serious note, I won't be surprised if you change.
There is one that used to go about preaching with long story how marriage doesn't make a woman, she is married now...everywhere is quiet.

Hahaha....this just got hit me like a bullet !

Funmi iyanda pipu, just becuz their own hasn't worked out, they conclude marriage isn't for everyone. I laugh!

truthsayer007:


Hmmm this your marriage thing...Sister ! Take am easy o, E go come at the right time.

I know this period is the right period orelse na 2 wait forever if am not careful..



For example, a friend of mine his dad died early this year.. He was lamenting why did his dad die nw?? See as economy tight.. It's this period the dad chose to die. I said why are u talking like this??
Do people choose when to die? Death comes when it comes.. It can come at anytime.. All u need to do is rally everybody in the family to join hands and bury your dad instead of lamenting here..

That's with getting married.. Peeps who got married will tell u, it's not by their strength alone.. Everyone both friends and family joined hands to make it possible.. It's a joint effort.. As long as the couples are working and earn considerable good amount of money, and the compatibility is right.. And they are both of marriageable age.. I don't see any delay..
If u wait till u have billions.. Then sorry will be the next thing left. Especially for a woman. Even for a man sef.

Another example too.. If I were waiting for the right time? I wont have a car by now.. I would still be jumping bus, waiting for when am married before driving a car even though it's very essential for my biz. Cause nija mindset is? A single lady shouldn't be seen driving a car, which is completely wrong..
I follow my mind.. I don't follow what people feel could be the right time.. Cos everyone has their own different time.
I don't need to old like Linda Ikeji or funmi Iya..nd... Before I know what I need..
Deceiving myself am waiting for the right time.

Let ones mind ,body, soul and situation surrounds one, guide someone.. That's all

Amelian:



I know this period is the right period orelse na 2 wait forever if am not careful..



For example, a friend of mine his dad died early this year.. He was lamenting why did his dad die nw?? See as economy tight.. It's this period the dad chose to die. I said why are u talking like this??
Do people choose when to die? Death comes when it comes.. It can come at anytime.. All u need to do is rally everybody in the family to join hands and bury your dad instead of lamenting here..

That's with getting married.. Peeps who got married will tell u, it's not by their strength alone.. Everyone both friends and family joined hands to make it possible.. It's a joint effort.. As long as the couples are working and earn considerable good amount of money, and the compatibility is right.. And they are both of marriageable age.. I don't see any delay..
If u wait till u have billions.. Then sorry will be the next thing left. Especially for a woman. Even for a man sef.

Another example too.. If I were waiting for the right time? I wont have a car by now.. I would still be jumping bus, waiting for when am married before driving a car even though it's very essential for my biz. Cause nija mindset is? A single lady shouldn't be seen driving a car, which is completely wrong..
I follow my mind.. I don't follow what people feel could be the right time.. Cos everyone has their own different time.
I don't need to old like Linda Ikeji or funmi Iya..nd... Before I know what I need..
Deceiving myself am waiting for the right time.

Let ones mind ,body, soul and situation surrounds one, guide someone.. That's all

Ok, i understand you. So you mean the right time is NOW. There is no right time for anything.

Lol for using Linda Ikeji or funmi Iyanda , Linda actually wants to get married & honest about it, i'm sure she was the one that advised her younger sis to hold on to that Kanu's brother. By fire by force lol

truthsayer007:


Ok, i understand you. So you mean the right time is NOW. There is no right time for anything.

Lol for using Linda Ikeji or funmi Iyanda , Linda actually wants to get married & honest about it, i'm sure she was the one that advised her younger sis to hold on to that Kanu's brother. By fire by force lol

The right time is not Now but hopefully before the year runs out. Am in my 30s. There must be at least laid down plans before tying the knot. I can't just marry now now. There are things I need to put in place first and by God's grace it will be completed before this year runs out.
Kanu's brother and Linda is not by fire by force. They both look matured and ready to settle down. It's a mutual agreement.. I believe the brother wants it too. If not a lady cannot force a man 2 marry her. It has to be mutual. Be with someone who wants the same thing u want. And by God's grace it will fall in place in due time.

Smiles but you sef!

Amelian:



The right time is not Now but hopefully before the year runs out. Am in my 30s. There must be at least laid down plans before tying the knot. I can't just marry now now. There are things I need to put in place first and by God's grace it will be completed before this year runs out.
Kanu's brother and Linda is not by fire by force. They both look matured and ready to settle down. It's a mutual agreement.. I believe the brother wants it too. If not a lady cannot force a man 2 marry her. It has to be mutual. Be with someone who wants the same thing u want. And by God's grace it will fall in place in due time.

Smiles but you sef!

lol, when i say By fire by force ! I don't necessarily mean she's trying to lure the man to marry him. Its just that Ladies are always in their best behaviour when they actually want to settle down. No unnecessary forming & they pay attention to their relationship.

They give up a lot of fairy tale imagination of a man on a white horse coming to pick them lol.

truthsayer007:


lol, when i say By fire by force ! I don't necessarily mean she's trying to lure the man to marry him. Its just that Ladies are always in their best behaviour when they actually want to settle down. No unnecessary forming & they pay attention to their relationship.

They give up a lot of fairy tale imagination of a man on a white horse coming to pick them lol.

Both has to pay attention to the relationship orelse it will go south.
Guys too, who wish 2 settle down do the same.
It's vice versa.
Not only ladies. Have seen guys in their best behaviour just to settle down as well.. If a guy does not treat his gf well and good in character, she won't think of marrying him. Instead she will move on, 2 the waiting arms of the next good guy.

So na both ways, bruv

Amelian:




Both has to pay attention to the relationship orelse it will go south.
Guys too, who wish 2 settle down do the same.
It's vice versa.
Not only ladies. [b]Have seen guys in their best behaviour just to settle down as well.. If a guy does not treat his gf well and good in character, she won't think of marrying him. [/b]Instead she will move on, 2 the waiting arms of the next good guy.

So na both ways, bruv

lol, i don't want to argue with u sha ! But its not the same, Guys are always in their best behaviour when they like a girl or wooing a girl, It has always been that way, even when she's gives a cold shoulder. The guys would still have to act nice & play along.

But Women on the other hand don't really care except when they really need to settle down, thats when humility comes in.

truthsayer007:


lol, i don't want to argue with u sha ! But its not the same, Guys are always in their best behaviour when they like a girl or wooing a girl, It has always been that way, even when she's gives a cold shoulder. The guys would still have to act nice & play along.

But Women on the other hand don't really care except when they really need to settle down, thats when humility comes in.

My dear,
If a woman is not humble, who is she doing?
Lol

Also there can't be 2 captains in a ship.
A woman must humble to her man for best results. No two ways about it.

Even at workplace, if u want the boss 2 like and appreciate you.. You must be humble and be of good behavior.. One cannot be proud and arrogant and expect good results. In customer service one must be humble and polite.
In anything worthwhile doing, one has to be humble and be of best behaviour.. It's not out of the ordinary. It's essential in all spheres of life.

Amelian:




My dear,
If a woman is not humble, who is she doing?
Lol

Also there can't be 2 captains in a ship.
A woman must humble to her man for best results. No two ways about it.

Even at workplace, if u want the boss 2 like and appreciate you.. You must be humble and be of good behavior.. One cannot be proud and arrogant and expect good results. In customer service one must be humble and polite.
In anything worthwhile doing, one has to be humble and be of best behaviour.. It's not out of the ordinary. It's essential in all spheres of life.

Ok o, Iyaf heard you

truthsayer007:


Ok o, Iyaf heard you

Lol

Thank you

Mynd 44 have said it all.

Lady39:
Ok..very interesting. I do agree with the first paragraph, however I don't think every profession is designed for females.
I'm gonna keep silent on the last couple of paragraphs..lol. But I absolutely see what u r saying.
Thanks

What professions are not designed for women?

@freecocoa:

Congratulations

bukatyne:
@freecocoa:

Congratulations

I suppose you are no longer. Feminist since you quoted me, therefore, I accept your congratulations with a heart full of joy.

Thank you.

bukatyne:


What professions are not designed for women?

Hi,
I'm coming from an American mindset. I believe men & women are created equally, however I believe they have different roles (based on a variety of factors such as emotional mindsets & physical makeups). Men are physically stronger than women..& they were built that way. Women surpass men in the emotional department.
Note that I did NOT say intellectual or mental.
mindsets. There are some fields which I personally believe would pose more challenges for women:

Construction Work
Mining Work
Playing Professional American Football or Wrestling
In some cases..firefighters & policema

The physical & emotional drain in these professions seem (to me) to pose a challenge. Just as I wouldn't want to see a man working at a day-care. His emotional make-up isn't best suited for dealing with young children.
In my humble opinion.

freecocoa:
So I finally got a marriage proposal after all these years, and the condition that he marries me is, that I denounce feminism, so my people, here I am to.....

1. State that I, freecocoa 1 of igboland(well known former feminist, world over), is no longer a feminist.

2. Remove myself from every feministic activity, I will neither be seen nor heard wherever the word "feminist" exists.

3. Warn every and any feminist on this platform to never quote nor mention me, ever, as I have no business with them as does light and darkness.

4. Say that henceforth, all opinions of me, shall be as that of a virtuous women. I shall be known and addressed as "Ezi nwanyi nke di uko"

5.Apologise for ever being a feminist who thought it wasn't okay for a man to cheat on me, silly me.

And lastly, Ask you all to pray for/wish me luck on my impending nuptials, please pray especially that the spirit of feminism never locates me again.

I hope I'm able to finally keep this one, yay.

Thank you all.

oya, adanne... Share pre wedding photos sharp sharp....

Freecocoa

Why did you renegade on the fraudulent life of perpetual misandrists who hate men and want to you rock the boat? Loool

Are you saying that, like the rest of them, you joined the bitter bandits cos you were lonely and mad about something?

Great you have seen the light. At least you're humble enough to go public with it - unlike those who claim an ideology on the web, but are serfs to their partners at home lol. A wise man once said there's no feminist when a boat is about to capsize...they all defer to men when it becomes a life and death situation lol.

This crazy forum hasn't changed one bit. Same OL same ol - same shiit in the same toilet loool.

Shym3xx:
Freecocoa

Why did you renegade on the fraudulent life of perpetual misandrists who hate men and want to you rock the boat? Loool

Are you saying that, like the rest of them, you joined the bitter bandits cos you were lonely and mad about something?

Great you have seen the light. At least you're humble enough to go public with it - unlike those who claim an ideology on the web, but are serfs to their partners at home lol. A wise man once said there's no feminist when a boat is about to capsize...they all defer to men when it becomes a life and death situation lol.

This crazy forum hasn't changed one bit. Same OL same ol - same shiit in the same toilet loool.

Lool, just wish me well mate and send a wedding present while at it.

bukatyne:


What professions are not designed for women?

Military special forces,e.g SEAL,British special forces.
Mining,oil rig workers,construction workers,marine engineers especially those who sink below to the ocean depths to fix ships or rigs. Firefighters

freecocoa:
Lool, just wish me well mate and send a wedding present while at it.

I wish you well. And I think I've got a perfect handbook on how to be a traditional wife and how to keep marriage alive, as a perfect gift for you. What say you?

But you gotta make you cook his food at all times; be a rider (nothing makes a man happier than having a woman who has got his back); and be respectful at all times.

I'd say you should've dumped this shitty ideology time ago, since you live in a country where there's black patriarchy and the only way there can be "equality" is for gender war to happen. And we know who will win that. Even white women know their place in the west where white patriarchy reigns supreme, hence the overwhelming majority of them are still traditional - apart from the dykes and faggits. The only nutheads are black women who know black men are powerless and they're trying to step over black men - to get next to white women on the totem pole.

Equity and fairness, with more say - yes. Equality - FOH.

Shym3xx:


I wish you well. And I think I've got a perfect handbook on how to be a traditional wife and how to keep marriage alive, as a perfect gift for you. What say you?

But you gotta make you cook his food at all times; be a rider (nothing makes a man happier than having a woman who has got his back); and be respectful at all times.

I'd say you should've dumped this shitty ideology time ago, since you live in a country where there's black patriarchy and the only way there can be "equality" is for gender war to happen. And we know who will win that. Even white women know their place in the west where white patriarchy reigns supreme, hence the overwhelming majority of them are still traditional - apart from the dykes and faggits. The only nutheads are black women who know black men are powerless and they're trying to step over black men - to get next to white women on the totem pole.

Equity and fairness, with more say - yes. Equality - FOH.

Lol, I don't want no book, I'd prefer something like say a car or even hair, like you know those type that go for 250k upwards and, I do know how to be a good wife, I'm certain I'll make a better wife, than the stereotypical traditional wife, you men talk about.

Black men are powerless ? Who woulda thunk. Thought y'all were the definition of Alpha male, hmm!

Well, whatever the case, I still believe a man and woman are equal, but please don't tell anyone I said so.

Btw, what's so wrong with said ideology? Cos I really don't see the problem tbh.

#JustPassingThrough

skydeep:
#JustPassingThrough

You are not a feminist, you are welcome to stay, don't just pass through.