Filashade:
Hey Guys,
So I have a bf who I have been dating for 5 months now and I have this issue which i have overlooked severally and told myself that I might be paranoid but I am beginning to think otherwise.
So I am 22 an engineer and my bf is 23 and a Yoruba guy who repeated his first year again on another course and is going to uni full time. I work full time and go to school part time very saturdays and I am in my final year about to finish in August.
Now the issue I have with him is that, he never has any money at all ever since I have none him, he has never bought me not even a £0.10 sweet and I am not a materialistic girl. He is always broke and I gave him £50 for his birthday and he needed £50 the last time which I gave him and now he wants me to lend him £50 and promised to give me back and I hv ignored his request.
Now what really pains me the most is the fact that all he does is play video games all day, told me he was on a football betting website or some sort, wasnt working before until I told him and he got a job but now he had an interview like 2 days ago but told me the company dont care about their staff and are not a good company. So he asked me to text him a message on his number pretending to be the company and say his interview was re-scheduled and I found that odd and was gonna ask him why but I didnt say anything and did it anyways but sill kept it at the back of my mind.
Throughout our relationship, he had a coursework/assignment to do and he asked me like 2 do his assignment for him as in and I was working and also going to school and he only goes to school 2 days in one week and at the time was not working so I was like he wasnt doing anything at all but all he does is watch movies all day or play games. Anyways coz I know men say we women nag a lot I kept my cool and tried my best to find some good sites he could do a research on and he still asked me if that is good enough for his assignment and I was like look I am here busy at work and also have my own assignment or exams to do and he said its okay dont worry.
Now another time he had a letter to write for someone who needed a stay permenently in the UK and he had a letter already but needed to type it out and fill in the blanks its sort of like a template and this guys asked me to type the letter for him and I was like seriously? Anyways again, I am very patient person and didnt say anything and even though I was busy a work I still typed it out for him and removed from of the errors and sent it to him and he got angry and said why did I change some of the things he letter that when he ask me to do somethign that I should follow instructions, now that is the moment I lost it with him and told him how ungrateful he is and didnt even say thank you. I told never to ask me to do anything for him ever again and he apologised and we moved on.
Now we were supposed to meet up yesterday but hr had asked me remeber to borrow him £50 but I told him early that since I left my previos job like last week for a new one that starts next week, my previous company paid me less/deducted some amount coz I was sick for a week and the policy is that you are not eligible for SSP so sick pay after your resignation notice period so I told him I was gonna be skint this month and my parents bday is february and also I have three brothers and my parents who I still leave with by the way gave me the responsibility sine I started working 3 years and 6 months ago to pay for my brothers food and give them anything they need like toothpaste etc or just money in general (apparently so that I know how it feels to be responsible and take care of a family but I know damn well that isnt true and they just wanted a break from taking care of my brothers and saw my independence of work as an excuse but that is a story for another day - by the way I live with my step mum and my dad). My brothers are now 19, 19 (twins) and 21 but now two of them have student loans and one of the twins is still in college so I still have to take care of him and myself.
So since I have told my bf about this severally, for him to asked me to borrow him money has just made me loose it. For crying out loud yes he is still young and is 23 but I expect him to be at least working, I dont care what the job is as long as it is legal. But know all he wants to do is live with his brother who works by the way and sleep, watch tv and play video games all though.
Don't get me wrong, he is nice and all but he is not ambitious, I have asked him want he wants to become severally and he says he does not know and his new degree course he is doing, he doesnt seem to enjoy or know what he is doing. Although I must say he loves to cook and he gave me some rice and stew which I though was cute of him and was delicious and I thanked him.
Also the last straw was that sine I hadn't seen him for like 5 weeks or so, I was like why dont we meet up this friday (that was from last week) and he asked me what should we do when we meet and I was like hey, lets go the movies etc you know coz I am an old fashion girl anyways, he said movies? and i said yh? and he was like nooo thats rubbish. We should do something else and I was like okay what? He started laughing and said don't you know that body no be firewood and said he wants to have sex and says thats I annoy him at times coz I dont want to have sex and wants to show me some styles we could do and then I knew what sort of guy I was dealing with but again I didnt say anything and hanged up.
So please people before I break up with him because I have had it up to here with him, am I being paranoid or overracting a little or am I a gold digger as you men call it coz I think I have been patient long enough. I have spoken to him about this asked him if I was a booty call babe to him and he said know that I am his girl.
But he doesnt want to go outside as he make silly excuses like, its cold oh I dont have any money or if I come over to his house, oh there is no food in the house so you will have to buy something or the last time I was on my way home from work and he called and said , hey I am hungry can you please buy me some food maybe at Nandos (nandos aint cheap!!) and come over. I was like OMG. Anyways, again I was patient but was about to loose it and I spent over £30 that night for both myself and for him since I though I will be spending time with him. I reached his house, gave him his food and I was expecting him to come and join me and eat his but know, he went to the living room and was playing games and chatting on the phone (whenever I come over he is always on the phone or about to make a call- sigh) anyways, I finished my food and he still hadnt come to the room to eat with me what I bought and he would come to check on me then pack the plate (which is sweet but anyways, it dont cut it). Then he asked me when am I leaving so that his brother can come and sleep, and bare this in mind, I always hear his brother in the house but never see him etc but anyways, I told him I am gonna leave and he asked me if I want him to walk me to the station and I said no, dont bother and I know he could tell I was pissed but I didnt care if I stayed any more second I would have lost it.
Now guys, please tell me I am an ediot for wasting my time with this dude? a lot of people say women love to complain about things and love to nag etc and dont know when a guy loves them but please is it wrong to have a guy who is ambitious, working, or has a plan for the future or something and isnt just sitting in his house the whole day playing games and watching tv. Like I don't understand.
Coz I am about to loose it, he called me yesterday and I told him to whatsapp me coz I am busy(I LIED coz I didnt want to talk to him and just wanted my space) and he boldy said "call me when you are free".
Am I freaking out for no reason guys?
Sorry for the long post but I am just tired of this!! Sorry for any mistaked and punctuation's I may have missed, I am literally writing this on my phone. I read your very loooooonnnngg story, glad I was able to finish it, from your story, you sound like one who's got plans for the future. Nice one. I got a friend who's so into video games just like your bf. I play video games, but Mayne once in 3months. I have a ps3 but whenever I think about my car insurance bill, credit card, rent, phone bill, Internet, all I can think of is hustle. Different strokes for different folks, you need to sit him down and ask him what his priorities are, there's no need for you to endure in 21st century.. Cos the path he's taking is not right. Find out what his problems are, but the truth here is, when I was 23, I was crazy about video games though as an igbo man, I've always loved making money.. Lol. Naturally ladies get organized faster than guys. If that place is cold, tell him to come to Toronto and see how mad the cold can be. BTW, you're pretty. |
