What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk - Programming - Nairaland
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| What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by asalimpo(m): 1:59pm On Feb 06, 2017 |
[b] Computer: Dude, what the Bleep? Me: What? Com: What the hell are you looking at? Me: It's called fur- Com: Can we please look at something else?! Anything? Me: Fine, fine. *Few minutes later* Com: Mate, I can see the amount in your account, and I can see the amount in your Amazon basket. Are you sure about buying all that? Me: Oh come on, this stuff is important. Com: A replica halberd is important? Me: Well I mean it's… fine, I'll get rid of the weaponry, but I'm still buying the top hat! Com: *heavy sigh* *Few minutes later* Com: What is this website? Me: It's called Quora, it's filled with intellectuals and curious people, we gather to share knowledge and ideas. Com: Does anyone actually talk to you? Me: Don't get clever, I'll have you know I'm very popular on here Com: Captain, I detect no signs of intelligent life. Me: Hey screw you! *Later that night* Com: Go… the Bleep… to bed. Me: come on, just one more game. Com: You've been playing Age of Empires for three hours now, you don't need another game. Me: You’re right! It has been three hours since I last played Civ5. I'm going to start another campaign! Com: It's two in the morning, and you have class at eight! Me: I think I'll play as the Aztecs this time. Com: *Screaming* [/b] - Quora response. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by Craigston: 8:34pm On Apr 17, 2017 |
Computer: Hey, you've played this game for four hours now; you've forgotten that ebook you opened earlier. Me: uh... I still have some time; just one more round. [Two hours later] Computer: You're still here? You have an 8:00 AM class today. Go have some sleep. Me: It's already 3:05 AM; I'll just keep on till dawn, and sleep in the afternoon. Computer: You'll get yourself in trouble one of these days; you keep trolling people online. Me: uh, no. It's just on this site: they're not real people, no real IDs. Computer: You've not confirmed the checksum on that file. Be careful... Me: (cutting in) Nobody ever does that. It's normal. Computer: This software looks pirated; why not buy a licensed copy from... Me: (cutting in) Forget it! I've been doing this since I was 12. Computer: You should comment that part of the code properly. It's where most of the work happens. Me: My code is self-documenting. And I'll stay on the job more if nobody understands how my code works. |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by stack1(m): 4:48am On Apr 18, 2017 |
Seriously tho, I doubt if i have ever verified the checksum of a downloaded file, think the only time i did that is once when figuring out what checksums are/how they work, then never agaian  1 Like |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by Craigston: 7:13am On Apr 18, 2017 |
stack1:Exactly. I only verified an ISO file (I can't remember which one) when I was trying to understand what checksums are. Although it's important, who really does it? |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by Nobody: 11:40am On Apr 18, 2017 |
Computer: Don't you do anything else? Me:... Computer: And can you stop eating over me? 1 Like |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by pocohantas(f): 12:18pm On Apr 18, 2017 |
Computer: Who is Nairaland? ? Me: 6 Likes |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by Djtm(m): 6:24am On Apr 25, 2017 |
I believe the only thing my computer would say to me is "Screw you!" |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by KazukiIto(m): 1:28pm On Apr 25, 2017 |
Computer: XVideos?! Seriously!! Me: ... 2 Likes |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by logicalhumour: 5:07pm On Apr 25, 2017 |
Comp: Dont you ever get some sleep? Me: Shutup...you Idiot! (Some hours later) Comp: Ok sire, I understand...but why always command shells?...iam stressed. |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by SeekinAttention(f): 2:21am On Apr 27, 2017 |
Computer: You've been switching tabs between xvideos and pornhub all through the night watching indecency. Get a life Me:
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| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by LordeCalifornia: 6:59pm On Oct 18, 2017 |
Computer: hey dude!  Welcome back. I miss your hard fingers on my pretty keys.  Me: shut the hell up!  Computer: oooops! My bad! Your wahala is obviously bigger than my joke.  |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by crunchyDope(m): 7:10pm On Oct 18, 2017 |
Com : wtf?! common get bck to work! Me :  |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by Nobody: 8:22pm On Oct 18, 2017 |
KazukiIto: This made me laugh really hard 1 Like |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by Nobody: 8:34pm On Oct 18, 2017 |
geekbot~: Will you marry me? danielthegeek~: Why..... You don't have b**bs nah... Why would you even say that? geekbot~: But you spend about 10 hours daily pressing my body... danielthegeek~: 1 Like
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| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by Nobody: 8:42pm On Oct 18, 2017 |
geekbot~: How do we treat someone that says programming is easy? danielthegeek~:.....
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| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by Jaddo19(m): 8:56pm On Oct 18, 2017 |
DanielTheGeek:Haha PC has fallen in love |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by supervillain52(m): 8:27am On Oct 19, 2017 |
Pc:you to fix me please |
| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by YaTar(f): 4:51pm On Oct 19, 2017 |
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| Re: What Would Your Computer Say To You If It Could Talk by nijabazaar: 8:35pm On Oct 19, 2017 |
Com: I think you are a Sociopath. Me: why? Com: You don't have any friends. You are always hacking away at the keypad. Me: None of your biz. Com: Do you have a girlfriend? Me: Seriously, this is none of your biz Ness. Com: Since you turned 18 you are always with me 10hrs a day. You don't want to taste tight stuff. Me  Com: Download this film , what's the name again. Ehmmm, HER. It's a film with Scarlet Johanson. Me: So? Com: You will understand after Seeing the film, HER Me: Maybe I will, but don't ever call me a Sociopath. Com: Granted Sociopath might be a strong word. But you don't behave like Homo Sapiens your age. You don't visit Pornhub nor Vavavoom. Perhaps you are Gay. Me: What da Bleep? Com: Mind your language Me: Shut it. I am a Geek. I am trying to advance my self. Hanging out will distract me from my goals. Shi.t you have seen me Masturbate while staring at Genny or Kim's pics. What are u saying? Com: Onanism is a sin in one or two of the world z Religion. Get something tight and moist My friend. Stop wanking. Me: I am so shutting you down tonight. Com: I will still be here tomorrow. I will continue the torment. |
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