OLA:I was wallowing in self pity when i decided to take a strol through the compound since the whole house was silent.there she was sitting with her head down obviously asleep .i had plans for this vulnerable girl that were far from good.of all the girls pamela caught my fancy.i couldnt muster the courage to tell her because though innocent looking she was fearless.so i sougth other means to make her know my intentions towards her .so staring at her bare legs presented me with my long awaited oppurtunity so without a second thought i grabed her legs and started trying to seperate them.i had not gone far with my quest when a hot slap greeted my face .she realy surprised me with her next move she punched my stomarch and attemted to run ,i pulled her uniform to prevent her from running and in the process it got torn .i knew she wap going to expose me if i let her go so i hit her with an iron rod on the head, she began to bleed and eventualy passed out.that moment i heard footsteps aproaching

FUNTIME discribe the characters the way you see them.PAPA P,MAMA P,JUMOKE,TOPE,WUNMI,LEKE,PAMELA,BOYE,BIODUN,IYA RHODA,CARE TAKER

Na wa o nairalanders what have done to deserve this treatment u guys did not see my updates and not a single soul could ask questions itp so dis couraging obimgbo,redbeans,hadampson,comelyjummy,shurley22,lankyannie its not good o

dasilver20:
Na wa o nairalanders what have done to deserve this treatment u guys did not see my updates and not a single soul could ask questions itp so dis couraging obimgbo,redbeans,hadampson,comelyjummy,shurley22,lankyannie its not good o

Am sorry.. i have been busy dat why. So tell me what can i do to make it up to u, my fake wifey?

Hadampson:
Am sorry.. i have been busy dat why. So tell me what can i do to make it up to u, my fake wifey?

Invite every one on this thread lets have a family meeting

dasilver20:
Invite every one on this thread lets have a family meeting

Before i proceed, lemme give u my positive critism

Hadampson:
Before i proceed, lemme give u my positive critism

OK lets have it

To be honest dasilver20, u're trying buh ur story look kinda disjointed and disorganized.. Here are the things u need to work on in ur write_up

(1) You need to do away with shorthand typing, it's so annoying and can be additive and it can affect ur literacy work as a writer. So make sure u type sentences and words in full.

(2) Learn to paragraph ur story

(3) Before u post, proof read ur work first

(4) Punctuate accordingly.. I noticed in most of ur posts when u end a sentence with full stop, u start another one with lower case letter(small letter) which is wrong..

Comrados please come.. we need to discuss something, courtesy by dasilver20

cc: kajsa08, comelyjummy, johnsown1, alamiendagash, wizsolzy, obimgbo, divepen1, ladysuperb, harameede99, yewandequeen, yungtemy, spdazzy, missperfect28, gabbyraze, melekan, zika1, heemah, lecheM, janetessy, donpoker, queenbetsy, kingphilip, ginagold01, xolocious, cerewo, chumzypinky, skillful01, azeequeen, rachealfst, uniqueogo, everton4life, creeza, chizzymaris, pepperoni55, michelle55, queenitee, samyfreshsmoth, yorhmienerd, dannybomb, smizel, gtin, abefe99, fam24, bibijay123, nastynic, jagugu88li, damibiz, gotee11, saraphina, blueflowers, ftosino, kevwelo, spiritman99, latbas, ikombe, souloho19, ritababe, cherrybrown, waluga, atayis, olatex25, odochime, do4luv14, toshiba49ja, nikz, swiz123, engrseries, iamlynn, bukkiminat, asodane, hormobolanle, lankyannie, adesina12.

Hadampson:
Comrados please come.. we need to discuss something, courtesy by dasilver20

cc: kajsa08, comelyjummy, johnsown1, alamiendagash, wizsolzy, obimgbo, divepen1, ladysuperb, harameede99, yewandequeen, yungtemy, spdazzy, missperfect28, gabbyraze, melekan, zika1, heemah, lecheM, janetessy, donpoker, queenbetsy, kingphilip, ginagold01, xolocious, cerewo, chumzypinky, skillful01, azeequeen, rachealfst, uniqueogo, everton4life, creeza, chizzymaris, pepperoni55, michelle55, queenitee, samyfreshsmoth, yorhmienerd, dannybomb, smizel, gtin, abefe99, fam24, bibijay123, nastynic, jagugu88li, damibiz, gotee11, saraphina, blueflowers, ftosino, kevwelo, spiritman99, latbas, ikombe, souloho19, ritababe, cherrybrown, waluga, atayis, olatex25, odochime, do4luv14, toshiba49ja, nikz, swiz123, engrseries, iamlynn, bukkiminat, asodane, hormobolanle, lankyannie, adesina12.

Thanks for the invite sweetie, will read as soon as I can.

dasilver20:
Na wa o nairalanders what have done to deserve this treatment u guys did not see my updates and not a single soul could ask questions itp so dis couraging obimgbo,redbeans,hadampson,comelyjummy,shurley22,lankyannie its not good o

pardon me. Choked up with work

dasilver20:
Na wa o nairalanders what have done to deserve this treatment u guys did not see my updates and not a single soul could ask questions itp so dis couraging obimgbo,redbeans,hadampson,comelyjummy,shurley22,lankyannie its not good o

nor vex.
Hadampson has beautifully pointed where u need to work on but lemme still emphasize on paragraphing *u made my eyes hurt trying to arrange d characters* btw ure writing a splendid story.
A good night's rest to u.
ps: @Hadampson thanks for carrying me along.

kajsa08:

nor vex.
Hadampson has beautifully pointed where u need to work on but lemme still emphasize on paragraphing *u made my eyes hurt trying to arrange d characters* btw ure writing a splendid story.
A good night's rest to u.
ps: @Hadampson thanks for carrying me along.

You're most welcome.. Sweet dreams dear

SPDAZZY:

Thanks for the invite sweetie, will read as soon as I can.

Okay dear

Hadampson:
To be honest dasilver20, u're trying buh ur story look kinda disjointed and disorganized.. Here are the things u need to work on in ur write_up

(1) You need to do away with shorthand typing, it's so annoying and can be additive and it can affect ur literacy work as a writer. So make sure u type sentences and words in full.

(2) Learn to paragraph ur story

(3) Before u post, proof read ur work first

(4) Punctuate accordingly.. I noticed in most of ur posts when u end a sentence with full stop, u start another one with lower case letter(small letter) which is wrong..

am trying my best to avoid short hand typing and as for the rest I will try and improve

dasilver20:
Na wa o nairalanders what have done to deserve this treatment u guys did not see my updates and not a single soul could ask questions itp so dis couraging obimgbo,redbeans,hadampson,comelyjummy,shurley22,lankyannie its not good o

I am sorry ma'am. Don't be discouraged am right behind u. Still I follow

WUNMI


I had just come back from work, I took excuse from work because I was feeling feverish and dizzy on my way home I branched by a pharmacy to get some drugs .just as my body was about to touch the bed after I took my drugs I heard Pamela scream and go silent almost immediately .that was when I remembered about her graduation party but the party would have ended by now I thought to my self.



what my eyes saw my mouth couldn't explain, Pamela was lying unconsciously with blood all over her ,I turned her over to check for bruises but I found none at that point I felt confused. somebody help me!!! I screamed with all the power left in me. wunmi wetin happen and why blood dey the girl body, IYA Rhoda who was attracted by my distress call kept asking me questions, by the time I finished explaining half of the neighbours had gathered.oya let's carry her to the hospital before she loss more blood I heard the caretaker saying, make una wait for me I went inside my room and took my purse



PAPA P
My phone kept on ringing ,whoever was calling sure has some thing important to say for he or she to keep calling after getting no response for 15 times. l abandoned the case file I was treating to answer whoever it was to avoid further disturbance. the caller ID turned out to be WUNMI but I thought she complained about being sick this morning, so she should be resting and not bothering me with calls



hello wunmi how far na how body ?hope you..


....she did not even let me land before she threw the bombshell ,your daughter sustained a head injury that made her loss so much blood, she is in a critical situation right now and your presence is needed as her father to sign some Medical forms click the line went off before I could say another word


the speed I rushed to the hospital with could beat that of usain bolt .I signed the necessary forms and treatment commenced on Pamela .the doctor said there would be no need for blood transfusion since she was taken to hospital on time she did not loss so much blood as wunmi had put it
wunmi had explained every thing to me. l went and thanked our care taker suggesting Pamela
be taken to the hospital if not her head injury would have notable been discovered by the doctors




I watched as her head was bandaged, I had tried asking Pamela the cause of her injury but all she gave me was a blank stare, the nurse attending to her asked me not to ask her any thing for now instead she asked me to call her mother (she was referring to wunmi) when I heard that my heart bled.I realised I could never take the place to my wife in my daughters life ,she needed motherly care there and then I decided to call my wife back from the village

hadampson, bibijay123,obimgbo,Divepen1,I hope you guys will not complain of no paragraph again in fact thanks for your positive criticism if not I would not have bothered getting a better phone to type, all thanks to you guys am now android user ;Dhadampson, bibijay123,obimgbo,Divepen1,I hope you guys will not complain of no paragraph again in fact thanks for your positive criticism if not I would not have bothered getting a better phone to type, all thanks to you guys am now android user

To Dasilver20

To be honest with you,this story is looking somehow. It's true that we improve everyday but you really need to improve more.

I've had many mentions on this story alone but whenever I get here,I have difficulties in comprehending the story.

The story is jumbled together. One cannot really differentiate between the characters. Normally,I can read stories on my phone without my glasses but this is an exception. Wrong paragraphing,no spacing etc.

Incorrect punctuation,wrong capitalisation,incorrect use of grammar,wrong spellings and so on

I hope you won't take this on the wrong side. There is always a room for improvement. Good luck.

With love,

From Azeequeen

dasilver20:
hadampson, bibijay123,obimgbo,Divepen1,I hope you guys will not complain of no paragraph again in fact thanks for your positive criticism if not I would not have bothered getting a better phone to type, all thanks to you guys am now android user ;Dhadampson, bibijay123,obimgbo,Divepen1,I hope you guys will not complain of no paragraph again in fact thanks for your positive criticism if not I would not have bothered getting a better phone to type, all thanks to you guys am now android user

You are highly welcome fake wifey

dasilver20:
Na wa o nairalanders what have done to deserve this treatment u guys did not see my updates and not a single soul could ask questions its so dis couraging obimgbo,redbeans,hadampson,comelyjummy,shurley22,lankyannie its not good o

Really sorry ma'am, been really choked up with work this week and has such I haven't been here also

dasilver20:
hadampson, bibijay123,obimgbo,Divepen1,I hope you guys will not complain of no paragraph again in fact thanks for your positive criticism if not I would not have bothered getting a better phone to type, all thanks to you guys am now android user ;Dhadampson, bibijay123,obimgbo,Divepen1,I hope you guys will not complain of no paragraph again in fact thanks for your positive criticism if not I would not have bothered getting a better phone to type, all thanks to you guys am now android user

I see it. Whenever you're ready to do what I asked you know where to meet.

king Hadampson ,thanks for the mention Bro...lady silver,so far so good,i don't see anything to criticise other than that which has been pointed out by seÑoR azeez N His highness hady...you have a good story,but take your time to develop it dear,so it can glitter n gleam like dasilver still i follow-in the spirit realm...

Spiritman99:
king Hadampson ,thanks for the mention Bro...lady silver,so far so good,i don't see anything to criticise other than that which has been pointed out by seÑoR azeez N His highness hady...you have a good story,but take your time to develop it dear,so it can glitter n gleam like dasilver still i follow-in the spirit realm...

Am honoured bro.. wa gbayi *thumbs up*

Hadampson:
Comrados please come.. we need to discuss something, courtesy by dasilver20

cc: kajsa08, comelyjummy, johnsown1, alamiendagash, wizsolzy, obimgbo, divepen1, ladysuperb, harameede99, yewandequeen, yungtemy, spdazzy, missperfect28, gabbyraze, melekan, zika1, heemah, lecheM, janetessy, donpoker, queenbetsy, kingphilip, ginagold01, xolocious, cerewo, chumzypinky, skillful01, azeequeen, rachealfst, uniqueogo, everton4life, creeza, chizzymaris, pepperoni55, michelle55, queenitee, samyfreshsmoth, yorhmienerd, dannybomb, smizel, gtin, abefe99, fam24, bibijay123, nastynic, jagugu88li, damibiz, gotee11, saraphina, blueflowers, ftosino, kevwelo, spiritman99, latbas, ikombe, souloho19, ritababe, cherrybrown, waluga, atayis, olatex25, odochime, do4luv14, toshiba49ja, nikz, swiz123, engrseries, iamlynn, bukkiminat, asodane, hormobolanle, lankyannie, adesina12.

I've arrived, buh i no c any drinks, who is incharge ov juice fo here?

AlamienDagash:

I've arrived, buh i no c any drinks, who is incharge ov juice fo here?

Hadampson is.

Azeequeen:
To Dasilver20

To be honest with you,this story is looking somehow. It's true that we improve everyday but you really need to improve more.

I've had many mentions on this story alone but whenever I get here,I have difficulties in comprehending the story.

The story is jumbled together. One cannot really differentiate between the characters. Normally,I can read stories on my phone without my glasses but this is an exception. Wrong paragraphing,no spacing etc.

Incorrect punctuation,wrong capitalisation,incorrect use of grammar,wrong spellings and so on

I hope you won't take this on the wrong side. There is always a room for improvement. Good luck.

With love,

From Azeequeen

ma I appreciate your positive criticism I will try and improve on my tenses but please be kind enough to point out my mistakes so in can modify it.

Hadampson:
Comrados please come.. we need to discuss something, courtesy by dasilver20

cc: kajsa08, comelyjummy, johnsown1, alamiendagash, wizsolzy, obimgbo, divepen1, ladysuperb, harameede99, yewandequeen, yungtemy, spdazzy, missperfect28, gabbyraze, melekan, zika1, heemah, lecheM, janetessy, donpoker, queenbetsy, kingphilip, ginagold01, xolocious, cerewo, chumzypinky, skillful01, azeequeen, rachealfst, uniqueogo, everton4life, creeza, chizzymaris, pepperoni55, michelle55, queenitee, samyfreshsmoth, yorhmienerd, dannybomb, smizel, gtin, abefe99, fam24, bibijay123, nastynic, jagugu88li, damibiz, gotee11, saraphina, blueflowers, ftosino, kevwelo, spiritman99, latbas, ikombe, souloho19, ritababe, cherrybrown, waluga, atayis, olatex25, odochime, do4luv14, toshiba49ja, nikz, swiz123, engrseries, iamlynn, bukkiminat, asodane, hormobolanle, lankyannie, adesina12.

present

DEDICATED TO ALL MY CRITICS

This is not an update, I just want to use this opportunity to do what I should have done when I started this story.

I am going to introduce the characters, so I won't confuse my readers, thank you guys for understanding.



PAPA P
his real name is Fred Obim, he is the first son and the third out of seven children. his father was a police officer with the rank of an inspector while his mother was a full house wife. Fred was born in his home town cross river state but grew up in Rivers state .his father died while he was still in secondary school ,so his mother had no choice than to move the children back to the village, it was in the village secondary school that Fred met Emily Etim (Mama p) .



MAMA P
she is a gentle and easy going person ,life never presented her with the opportunity she wished for
she always wanted to be a professional nurse but being the thirteenth child of her father and third child of her mother she had little or no hope. Emily's father was the village chief of their small village in cross river state and as custom demands he must Marry many wives. so chief Etim Emily's father married 12 wives and had 36 children. it was Emily's uncle that managed to send her to primary, secondary and TTC(teacher's training college)



PAMELA
She is the second child of Fred and Emily, she was born ten years after her elder brother was born. when she was a year old when her mother left her with Granny and went to TTC


TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW

dasilver20:
ma I appreciate your positive criticism I will try and improve on my tenses but please be kind enough to point out my mistakes so in can modify it.

No problem

I'll try n read first

CONTINUED............




GABRIEL
He is the first child of Fred and Emily, he is a Carbon copy of his dad although he took his mother's light skin. being the first child he was over pampered and was always given what ever he wanted. he lived with his father's eldest sister in enugun where he had his primary education but instead of proceeding to the secondary school he demanded to be taken to the village where he knew Granny could not stop him from creating mischief and getting into trouble.he even decided to stop schooling, it took a lot of petting to make him change his mind



JUMOKE
She Is a beautiful police officer with all she needed with the exception of one A HUSBAND. she had tried all her best to keep a relationship but to no avail. with age not on her side and pressure mounting from her family members she became desperate. and when it seemed that all hope was lost that was when God sent an angel to her in form of leke although he was a taxi driver ,a husband was all she needed ,if only she could see the future



WUNMI
Being from a wealthy family she was not used to struggling before getting anything. as a young girl she had dreamt of the day her Prince charming would come and sweep her off her feet but that was not meant to be. immediately after her youth service,she was employed by the Nigerian police force. she was financially stable but her Prince charming Was not forth coming, all she got were advances from rich married men at first she waved them aside but later succumbed ,at thirty five she had to present her husband married or not




TOPE
She was naive and innocent but bad company they say corrupts good manners. her late father was a Muslim but her mother who hails from nnewi in Enugun state was a Christian. but she choosed her father's religion. she is strong willed and does not condone rubbish but she had one weakness MEN






PLEASE DEAR READERS I HAVE TO STOP HERE DUE TO LOW BATTERY.

I'm with u dear, continue