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Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by yeyeruzi: 5:50pm On Dec 10, 2009
mere thought and Logic can't explain somethings in life.

We all have love for things in this world but when asked the reasons we give one or two logical ones. But, truly, their is no logical reasons for this love that we can easily explain by ourselves.

Women, even those that say they choose their man over their kids, would naturally choose the kids when a true tests come and she has to choose.

But Have you seen cases where the wife left the kids with their father and eloped with another man. Love/Infatuation/emotion  is something [/b]takes over your mind [b]and will not let you do 1+1 before you take your decisions sometimes.

A woman would have saved her kids and leave the husband if she can only choose between them but if the husband survives to look the wife in the eye things won't be the same. (This she would know but at the time she chose her kids she wasn't really thinking -  it is the love God has NATURALLY placed in her hearth for them.)
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by Viciyke(m): 6:06pm On Dec 10, 2009
2 me dis question is like being ask between d devil n d dark blue sea, which way 2 go. In a marriage, i tink d husband is more important dependin on certain circumstance, eg. if d marriage is in d late stages, say d husband and wife ar getting old, i say chose d kids over d husband cos they can continue d family, but if d marriage is in d early stages, i prefer u pick ur husband 4 companionship, u can procreate again, protection from d husband etc. but its jus a matter of choice, luv n peace of mind.
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by BeBlessed2: 6:09pm On Dec 10, 2009
As for me both of them are important, but if it is compulsory that u must choose one, i will first-of-all choose my Husband, cos if i lost my child there will still be another change 2 give birth 2 another one if my husband recovered, but if i lost my husband, it will very difficult to find that kind of love , if you marry second husband.


For the male, i know that they will prefer their child, cos they believe once their wife die, they will got marry 2 another wife, and the so-called child will be suffering (i.e. if the second wife is very wicked woman) and once the husband fall in love with the second wife, he won't like 2 remember anytin about the child again. Within that process they will be calling the child witch.



MY HUSBAND WILL COME FIRST B/4 MY CHILD OOOOOOOOOOOOOH
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by OAM4J: 6:36pm On Dec 10, 2009
Please choose your spouse over your children. You can always start all over with your spouse and have more children that will make you forget your loss. But with children around, you will never get over the lost of your husband and the children's father.


I heard this story about a popular evangelist in Nigeria - Dr Uma Ukpai. He once had an accident, their car fell into the river, only him could swim and he could only save one person. He saved his wife and lost 3 children, today they have many more children.

That story touched me.
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by mamagee3(f): 6:51pm On Dec 10, 2009
The Kids are most important. wink
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by oyinlaifa(m): 7:24pm On Dec 10, 2009
@ All posters
I don't have much to say about this question. Anyway the plain truth is that both side are important in the site of God. Since there is no place in the bible that state that the child should be more important than the father, so that don't see any reason why one must be important than the other. That's why the bible state it clear that God is not partial. So with this little words of mine i hope you are convince that no one is important than any.
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by koolchicco: 8:17pm On Dec 10, 2009
mama-gee:

The Kids are most important. wink

And why?
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by Nobody: 8:23pm On Dec 10, 2009
I still wonder why a man would pour his heart to love a woman, only for her to return it to the children, if my wife says she's in for me I will persuade her to go for the kids, that's sacrificial love,
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by IbrahimB: 11:20pm On Dec 10, 2009
I think choosing ones kids above ones husband (or wife) is being selfish: The kid belongs to BOTH of you and not you alone!
The kid will be impossible without your husband. With your husband you can always rebuild, with your child what can you rebuild?

Imagine, your kid and husband both needing a kidney transplant and you donate to the kid leaving your husband to wither and die?
You can't face your family, friends or inlaws. The only exception is when your husband says: Darling, Just give up on me. I've spent my years anyway. Let's save the kids

Unless there are marital problems, your Husband, Wife, should always be Number One smiley
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by woletsn: 11:25pm On Dec 10, 2009
Your husband is most important b ecause if there is no husband, there can't be children and for all you know him before you have your kids.

Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by slimes(m): 11:29pm On Dec 10, 2009
How can you say the kids, did yu marry the kids? I will love my wife when i get one and apportion some affection for my kids cos my wife is my complementing part.
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by ubiaa5(f): 11:44pm On Dec 10, 2009
OAM4J:

Please choose your spouse over your children. You can always start all over with your spouse and have more children that will make you forget your loss. But with children around, you will never get over the lost of your husband and the children's father.


I heard this story about a popular evangelist in Nigeria - Dr Uma Ukpai. He once had an accident, their car fell into the river, only him could swim and he could only save one person. He saved his wife and lost 3 children, today they have many more children.

That story touched me.
did this realy happen? i know rev uma ukpai n two of his kids,i think he has 4 or5.
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by OAM4J: 12:01am On Dec 11, 2009
ubiaa5:

did this realy happen? i know rev uma ukpai n two of his kids,i think he has 4 or5.

Yes. I heard it directly from him many years ago in Nigeria, think he was preaching on cost of followership/anointing. Ask his children.
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by FerrariGP: 12:33am On Dec 11, 2009
i saw a story like this on CNN not too long ago, the guy saved his wife without a second thought. its only in naija that most marriages begin to fade after having kids.
kids are meant to complement the marriage, and not destroy it. without doubt i will save my spouse 1st.
remember you only own the kids for a very short while, parents are simply custodians. what happens when the kids move on??
@ Otukpo, ur opinion is shared by alot of women in naija both in the past and today, and thats why we have many mother-in-laws trying to hold on to their sons or interfere in their marriages or trying to select a husband for their daughters at all cost even when the girl wants somethingelse. becos they practically ignored their husbands while concentrating on the kids. now the kids are grown up and want a life of theirs and the mothers can't believe or understand it,
there is nothing worth more than your marriage, it is the hallmark of successful living and it breeds a very happy family,
my wife anyday, wink
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by amebono1: 12:50am On Dec 11, 2009
OAM4J:

Please choose your spouse over your children. You can always start all over with your spouse and have more children that will make you forget your loss. But with children around, you will never get over the lost of your husband and the children's father.


I heard this story about a popular evangelist in Nigeria - Dr Uma Ukpai. He once had an accident, their car fell into the river, only him could swim and he could only save one person. He saved his wife and lost 3 children, today they have many more children.

That story touched me.

It did not happen like this, yes they had an accident, he wasnt there cos he was in a different car with his wife, it was the car his kids were in that fell into river
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by mamagee3(f): 12:51am On Dec 11, 2009
koolchicco:

And why?

Why are you asking me why? undecided
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by agabaI23(m): 12:57am On Dec 11, 2009
Be_Blessed:

As for me both of them are important, but if it is compulsory that u must choose one, i will first-of-all choose my Husband, cos if i lost my child there will still be another change 2 give birth 2 another one if my husband recovered, but if i lost my husband, it will very difficult to find that kind of love , if you marry second husband.


For the male, i know that they will prefer their child, cos they believe once their wife die, they will got marry 2 another wife, and the so-called child will be suffering (i.e. if the second wife is very wicked woman) and once the husband fall in love with the second wife, he won't like 2 remember anytin about the child again. Within that process they will be calling the child witch.



MY HUSBAND WILL COME FIRST B/4 MY CHILD OOOOOOOOOOOOOH
How do you know? Don't say what you do not know. A man that is married for kids only will do that but a man who married his wife for comapnionship and has lived happily with her like many males here have said will go for his spouse.
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by OAM4J: 1:20am On Dec 11, 2009
!amebo no1:

It did not happen like this, yes they had an accident, he wasnt there cos he was in a different car with his wife, it was the car his kids were in that fell into river

Not sure, Its been long time now. but I think I heard him say he has to choose between his wife and the children.

Anyway if I marry you and am to choose between you and the kids, normally i would have chosen my wife, but for you i will choose the kids, because of the yaba left syndrome  grin
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by agabaI23(m): 2:13am On Dec 11, 2009
OAM4J
Thanks for making me review my atrocious post.
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by OAM4J: 2:21am On Dec 11, 2009
agabaI23:

OAM4J
Thanks for making me review my atrocious post.

My mistake actually. guess it all make sense now. thanks to you too.  wink cool
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by youngguns: 5:07am On Dec 11, 2009
why the hell is this a discussion? Any woman that priorities her husband over her kids(s) is a dead slowpoke. im a guy and i know wat we men are capable of, not all men are trust worth so thats not an option. I've seen women in my life time practically give up their lives for their husbands major times and they get betrayed so i would not advice anyone to even think about it not to talk about doing it, the kids should be ones one and only major concern and this goes to we men as well.

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Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by ChiChi77: 6:25am On Dec 11, 2009
The kids are the most important, no contest!
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by taosola(m): 7:17am On Dec 11, 2009
This is a good thread! Well, let's think of what happens to a couple when their children begin their own life, we can only raise children as the fruits of our relationship. They will go on their own and the couple alone to continue their life. Please choose wise if you find yourself in a condition like this. Your spouse should be more important atop other.[color=][/color]
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by bigfoot79(m): 7:21am On Dec 11, 2009
BAD ENGLISH, THE QUESTION OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN 'WHICH' is more important, watch yah english oh jare
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by otukpo(f): 7:41am On Dec 11, 2009
!amebo no1:

It did not happen like this, yes they had an accident, he wasnt there cos he was in a different car with his wife, it was the car his kids were in that fell into river

Thank you for that correction. Uma Ukpai and his wife were not in the car with his children.

My husband does not have to cheat on me for me to know what happens in my society. I know many men wld choose their kids. for those that are not yet married and perhaps don't have kids yet, u may not know it.

I have been close to many married men and women and i can tell u dt majority of most married men in Nigeria cheat on their wives and don't see it as any big deal. And majority of married women think that their future is only guaranteed in their children cos the husband can do and undo. If u understand what i mean.

In everything, there are exceptions and i have not said its 100% for men or women.

Take it or leave it, that is the reality in the Nigerian society.

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Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by amebono1: 8:07am On Dec 11, 2009
otukpo:

Thank you for that correction. Uma Ukpai and his wife were not in the car with his children.

My husband does not have to cheat on me for me to know what happens in my society. I know many men wld choose their kids. for those that are not yet married and perhaps don't have kids yet, u may not know it.

I have been close to many married men and women and i can tell u dt majority of most married men in Nigeria cheat on their wives and don't see it as any big deal. And majority of married women think that their future is only guaranteed in their children cos the husband can do and undo. If u understand what i mean.

In everything, there are exceptions and i have not said its 100% for men or women.

Take it or leave it, that is the reality in the Nigerian society.


Like someone once said on this thread, i can stay in the white mans world for 4 years without going home to see my parents, but can a man leave his wife for that long without stealing a flight back home to see her if he can?

if your kids grow up and decide to travel abroad for studies will you be going there everyday to visit them? will you allow your husband go to the white mans world for yrs without you? common dont be a hypocrite

i remember when my sis got married, she stayed for about 3 years b4 coming back home for a visit, my mum survived, but when she put to bed, the mere thought of my dad going to visit the kids for 6 months , made her decide that they were going together( even though she was supposed to come later, due to some issues she had to settle b4 going over)
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by cod2004: 8:17am On Dec 11, 2009
My kids are equally as important as my husband. If they weren't, i will not have brought them into this world. embarassedInstead of saving one and letting the other go, i will rather go before them and let them sort themselves and if i'm to save one by all means, the one closer to being saved is the one i will save. But i will never purposely neglect one at the expense of the other
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by nkb: 8:51am On Dec 11, 2009
taosola:

This is a good thread! Well, let's think of what happens to a couple when their children begin their own life, we can only raise children as the fruits of our relationship. They will go on their own and the couple alone to continue their life. Please choose wise if you find yourself in a condition like this. Your spouse should be more important atop other.[color=][/color]

Without the kids, there may not be an opportunity for you to continue a life with a spouse later in life

To the topic, both are extremely important but I want to believe that this topic is trying to ask , who among the two are you more emotionally atttached to , and I insist , it is the kids,

surely circumstances may compell just the couple to be all alone, suporting each other, but take it or leave it their joy and strenght in living together hapily is in knowing that the kids are somewhere alive and healthy for them.
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by youngguns: 10:44am On Dec 11, 2009
I cant believe people are actually insinuating prioritizing husbands or wives over kids, yeah u get the normal attachment to your partner cos u've shared more percentage of your life with them than your kids, but i believe once a couple have kids, their sole responsibility is to make sure the kids gets the best and they put all their endeavors even with a lot of compromise on the way to make the kid.Once the kids are old enough to make their own decision, then that's another topic entirely.

1 Like

Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by cvibe: 11:23am On Dec 11, 2009
The husband is more important in a marriage.
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by Vindy: 11:44am On Dec 11, 2009
Any woman that says she will choose her kids 2 d husband after she has said 4 beta 4 worst, 4 rich
r and 4 poorer, most be a promiscuouse woman.

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