“Marry those women who are lawful to you, two or three or four, and if you fear that you cannot do justice (to them) then marry one…” ( surah 4:3 )

When we consider the historical circumstance of the time period of this revelation, it clearly shows that the new growing Muslim community of the Prophet (pbuh) in Medina, were compelled to defend itself from incessant war against an enemy bent upon their extermination. A great number of male breadwinners lost their lives against overwhelming forces. Women had lost their affectionate husbands and young children their loving fathers, and these widows and orphans had to be provided for. If they had to be left to the mercy of circumstances, they would have perished, and the community would have weakened to the extent that it would have been impossible to maintain the struggle for life.

So let it be clearly understood that; In Islam, marriage of one man to one woman is the general rule. Polygyny is offered as a solution only,on the basis of justice and equity amongst the two, three or four wives, to meet certain needs and not a free license for any man to use and abuse.

I also need to make it clear that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) did not institute or invent Polygyny as many hostile critics allege. The Scriptures bear abundant proof of the fact that polygyny was recognized as lawful and, indeed widely practiced by the great prophets.

* Father Abraham (Nabi Ebrahim) had three wives. ( Sarah, Hagar and Keturah )
* King Solomon ( Nabi Sulaiman) had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

The Bible also reports the number of wives of many other prophets and great o God.

The advantages of polygyny can be realized by considering a few key points.

Firstly, Polygyny can be deemed an answer to the problem of surplus women.

Secondly, due to brutal warfare in ancient times which resulted in an even greater percentage of women over men. Who would care for these widows and orphans?

Thirdly, due to the patriarchal societies, it was nearly impossible for an unmarried widow or orphan girl to provide for herself. Females were often uneducated and untrained. They relied solely on their fathers, brothers and husbands for provision and protection.

So it seems that Islam allowed polygyny to protect and provide for the women who could not otherwise find a husband. The Muslim man would take multiple wives, upto four at one time, and serve equally and justly as their provider and protector.

Polygyny can also be a disadvantage as it can lead to an individual’s spiritual destruction if he fails to do justice within such a relationship.

The condition which Islam lays down for a man to have more than one wife is confidence on his part that he will be able to deal equitably with his two, three or four wives in the matter of food, drink, clothing, expenses, as well as the division of his time between them.

The Qur’an states in surah 4:12 that treating one’s wives equally is a very difficult matter.

“You are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire.”

Thus since equal treatment of wives is impossible, however hard a person tries, a man should marry only one wife. It is evident from the aforementioned facts that Islam neither introduced nor enforced polygyny. This rather indicates that in Islam monogamy is the rule and polygyny the exception. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) also states in a hadeeth.

“A person who had two wives and was favourably inclined towards one, he would come on Judgment day in a condition by dragging the one side of his body (disgraced).”

So, when a man is poor and is not able to care for his wife and children, then polygyny is not allowed for him. His failure to maintain a second wife will result in strife and obscenity, which will defeat the very objective of marriage, which is supposed to be a lawful union of love, harmony and tranquility between a man and a woman.

Thus, though Islam has restricted the number of wives in a polygynous relationship, and allowed it as an answer to certain situations, it has also expressly forbid it to be abused and used as a tool for mere sexual gratification and abuse of women. In conclusion, allow me to narrate to you an anecdote on the topic of polygyny.

“A man married a second wife with the permission of his first wife. He treated them with absolute justice and equality. They all lived very happily, when suddenly, both wives died. After making all the preparations for burial, he realized they had only one front door. He instantly hired a builder to chop down part of the wall and construct another front door, through which he will take both wives out simultaneously. That night he went to sleep happily satisfied with his sense of justice. However, his first wife appeared in his dream and she was very upset. She thanked him for the wonderful life they had together, but why…, she asked …why did you take her through the new door and I was take through the old door ?

So my brothers…. You never win. Stick to one wife and live a happy life.
From Dawah islamic group of Ireland

Personally, i am a one woman man but i do not agree with your point. the problem of excess women is still present today as was during the time of the Prophet. This is reason why we have many unmarried women in the world today, especially in the western world. Lately women from non muslim countries are beginning to consider polgamy as an option. They claim 'half a man is better than no man at all'

I also have a problem with that article and I'm afraid it originates from apologetic Muslims that try to shy away from facts or try to 'window dress' what is clear in Islam.
Personally, I can't say yet whether I will run a monogamy or polygamy home, but I don't have any problem with anybody that opts for Monogamy. It is allowed, and in fact the rule. But to try to gloss over the fact that polygamy is also allowed, with conditions of course, is where I have problem.

Of course, people do abuse polygamy these days, but that doesn't mean it should be abolished. No. We cannot change Allah's rule just because some people abuse it.

I'm particularly disappointed that a so-called Islamic group can engage in a coordinated campaign against polygamy. Rather than trying to change the rule, they can do better educating Muslims on the need to stick to monogamy if they can't afford polygamy and rules of polygamy, if they must go into it.

I'm also a one-woman man(although I don't rule out the possibility of 2 later in the future, insha Allah: hope my Hajia-to-be is not reading this ) but I will not campaign against polygamy.

Stick to one wife and live a happy life.

Who says you can't live a happy polygamous life? You need to come and see in my family.

The statement in the article suggesting that monogmay is the rule and polygamy an exception has no baisis in the text and in fact the verse is an evidence against this notion

In the sacred texts and from an arabic perspective  whatever is said first carries a heavier weight than the latter part of a sentence. The verse says "Fan'ankihu mutaama minal nissai mathna , wa thulatha wa arba fa in khiftum . . . . . ." In the quran there are many verses like this where Allah gives a command and puts some exception, wherever there is a clause it means the verse is not one of Eejab (compluslory) rather highly recomended. This verse is no exception and from a language perspective the emphasis is is on polygamy rather than monogamy. The clause highlights that polygamy is not wajeeb ( complusory) likewise monogamay.

You will never see anyone with deep knowledge of arabic saying what the article implies , it is only muslims who just read english translations and turn themselves into scholars who give verdicts. It is a crime against God to speak in his name without knowledge of the matter and a crime against islamic intellectualism to give a verdict like this

This rather indicates that in Islam monogamy is the rule and polygyny the exception

The second verse is not Q4 vs 12 rather it is Q4 vs 129. It says " wa LAN tasteti'u an t'adilu baina nissai walaw harastum . . . . ." "You will never be able to do perfect justice between the wives even if it is your ardent desire so do not incline too much to one so as to leave the other hanging. And if you do justice and do all that is right and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong then Allah is oft forgiving most merciful"

Firstly lets quickly analyse the arabic text the first key word is LAN. In arabic LAM and LAN means negation but why is LAM not used in this verse rather LAN was used . It is because LAN is an everlasting negation, eternal negation which means something can never happen till eternity. Allah is called AL Adl (The Just one) no human can share in this attribute with Allah no matter how the human tries to do it, the use of LAN in this verse indicates this and Allah goes further to explain what he means by advising the man no to incline too much to one leaving the other hanging. Then he advises the man to do justice (within human realm) and then his mistakes will be forgiven for him as long as he fears Allah in his dealings with the wives. The justice that cannot be done is perfect ustice and Allah did not because of this forbid polygamy rather he encoureged it and advised the man onwhat is right to do.

It is a shame the article did not post the whole verse and stopped halfway which in my opinion is malicious as the real meaning of the verse is in the whole verse and not half.

Polygamy is cool if practised within the realms of islamic guidance. It goes awful if practised according to the african or whatever culture it is.

And God knows best.

@all,

Point of correction: I am not the writer. You can see the writer listed below the article. I copied and pasted it here just to know others' opinions.

Thanks

You copied and pasted it here because you believe(d) in it. Wrong?

i have always believe in monogamy for myself. But I can never ask others to do it if they dont believe it. As much as I believe in polygamy, I dislike hearing of divorce and has resolved that I will rather have a broken relationship than divorce.

Polygamy has it usefulness and at times it could be a advantagous to the two party if done rightly. But I dont wish for it.

I believe we can not rule out polygamy in Islam. The manner it is practiced especially in Nigeria is the reason many people shy away from it. Some people even go to the extent of calling those who do not practice it weak muslims. Am female and despises it and more because it is not compulsory. I donno how much wrong this is.

@Post:

That means you are not a good muslim because Muslims should believe in polygamy which is the legacy of Muhammed .

@deol- ofcourse you should dispise it, most women don't like rival

Good to know its no sin to feel this way

yeah, thats Islam, freedom

t.truth:

Freedom indeed !!!

And wats d sarcasm about?

t.truth:

@Post:

That means you are not a good muslim because Muslims should believe in polygamy which is the legacy of Muhammed   .

I am not surprised. Most non muslims and muslims alike do not know Islam beyond the rumours thay have been fed.

You talk as if the prophet of Islam brought polygamy to the world. Only people with lack of historical insight talk like that. It was like the prophet was the first man to be born. I really pity people that have been fighting polygamy as if it is a disease. yes, I dont like polygamy. That is part of my religion that I am free to pick. Beside Islam did not make polygamy compulsory. In fact monogamy is recommended in quran. Polygamy is an option and their are conditions for it.

To be honest with you, Islam is the only religion that regulate maraige and brought sanity to the insanity. Before Islam, men marry wives as if they are material possessions. women have no right and they are not respected. MEn marry up to twenty wives in some cases. But Islam cut down those wives into four while recocommending one wife.
say muslism with one wife are les
if I choose to pick one, it is my what I opted for. So dont say muslims with one wives are less muslims and that muslims with two wives are evil.

I will NEVER condemn polygamy. But I will condemn people who violate the rules governing it. That is all.

Thanks.

^^^Thanks for that explanation.

I actually deliberately refused to say word initially. Now I see things in more lighted surface.

May Allah guide us to the right path, amin.

@Onajim :

How many wives did Muhammed (the founder of Islam) marry ?

In which way has Islam brought sanity into marriage ?

Let me tell you what you don't know : Marriage is GOD's idea and not any man's idea. which means that marriage is not Muhammed's idea neither is it allah (rock god of kabah) idea. God who created marriage said it is one man one woman right from the beginning (true monogamy).

God’s (NOT ALLAH WORDS OR SAUDI BLACK STONE OR MUHAMMED)Word teaches:
That Marriage is binding for life. Monogamy is the uniform teaching of the Bible. Polygamy is contrary to God’s perfect will and institution. Also, under the New Testament dispensation, no one has a right to divorce and remarry while the first companion lives.

If you violates God's words, there are consequences. Polygamy is Adultery period !!!

t.truth:

@Onajim :

How many wives did Muhammed (the founder of Islam) marry ?

In which way has Islam brought sanity into marriage ?

Let me tell you what you don't know : Marriage is GOD's idea and not any man's idea. which means that marriage is not Muhammed's idea neither is it allah (rock god of kabah) idea. God who created marriage said it is one man one woman right from the beginning (true monogamy).

God’s (NOT ALLAH WORDS OR SAUDI BLACK STONE OR MUHAMMED)Word teaches:
That Marriage is binding for life. Monogamy is the uniform teaching of the Bible. Polygamy is contrary to God’s perfect will and institution. Also, under the New Testament dispensation, no one has a right to divorce and remarry while the first companion lives.

If you violates God's words, there are consequences. Polygamy is Adultery period !!!

t.truth

I found it rather tempting to answer your questions. Unfortunately, you have just disqualified yourself from the people I discuss intellectually with.

if at your level of awareness you dont know that olorun and God is the same as CHineke and Allah then it is useless having a meaningful conversation with you. I would have loved to give you fuller explaination of the remaining questions, but the fact is that your mind is "shut out" and you are definitely not interested in knowing but is scorning.

I dont engage in meaningless debate. I am sorry, I can't help.

I hope someone with your kind of mentality will reply you!


PS: The bold statements are signs of "locked mind" I dont have time for such debate. Once again, thanks.

olanajim:

t.truth

I found it rather tempting to answer your questions. Unfortunately, you have just disqualified yourself from the people I discuss intellectually with.

if at your level of awareness you dont know that olorun and God is the same as CHineke and Allah then it is useless having a meaningful conversation with you. I would have loved to give you fuller explaination of the remaining questions, but the fact is that your mind is "shut out" and you are definitely not interested in knowing but is scorning.

I dont engage in meaningless debate. I am sorry, I can't help.

I hope someone with your kind of mentality will reply you!


PS: The bold statements are signs of "locked mind" I dont have time for such debate. Once again, thanks.

Allah was the name of the principal though not the only deity in pre-Islamic pagan Mecca. He stood supreme over and above all the other gods just as the Ka'ba was pre eminent among the other sanctuaries - also called Ka'ba(s) - of Arabia.
He was Lord of Mecca.

In reality, Allah is NOT the God of Israel, but the PERSONAL NAME of the 'divine spirit' that according to the beliefs of the pagan Arabs,RESIDED in the Black Stone meteorite - embedded in the wall of the Ka'ba - that was VENERATED by the pagan Arabians long before Muhammad and his Quran.

The Allah of pagan Arabia was only the NAME (not a TITLE) of the supreme god at the head of their Pantheon of gods and goddesses similar to Jove/ Jupiter or Zeus in the pantheons of the gods of the Romans and the Greeks. Just as Jove and Zeus were NOT the One and Only God of Israel,
neither was Allah.

By understanding this most fundamental of facts regarding the Trinity of: Muhammad, Quran and Allah, everything which is otherwise so perplexing, contradictory, utterly incompatible with the Bible in Time and Space and totally incomprehensible about the Quran becomes CRYSTAL CLEAR.

ALLAH is NOT The GOD of ISRAEL. ALLAH is NOT GOD.

Allah is Muhammad's own ALTER EGO projected onto the persona and into the mouth of ALLAH, the supreme PAGAN DEITY of Arabia.

Hence, according to the Quran, the Arabised name of the God of Israel and the god of the Muhammadan Muslims was made one and the same: ALLAH. This was accomplished despite the fact that the God of Israel has NO NAME and most certainly NOT Allah.

In the Torah, God told Moses when he enquired about the Almighty's name, He replied-

Exodus 3: 14 "I am, who I am" which is YAHWEH, a term repeated in the Bible over 6800 times, but never ALLAH.

Actually, in the Arabic language, God is called al Ilah, similar to the Hebrew Elohim.

For the last 1400 years, the followers of Muhammad have succeeded in perpetrating one of the greatest falsehoods that was ever insinuated into the human consciousness, namely, that Allah was or is the God of Israel. Their triumph fas been so INCREDIBLY successful, that even most of the greatest authorities on the Arabic language, the Quran and the history of the Arabs, were FORCED into TRANSLATING the name Allah into GOD

t.truth:

Allah was the name of the principal though not the only deity in pre-Islamic pagan Mecca. He stood supreme over and above all the other gods just as the Ka'ba was pre eminent among the other sanctuaries - also called Ka'ba(s) - of Arabia.
He was Lord of Mecca.

In reality, Allah is NOT the God of Israel, but the PERSONAL NAME of the 'divine spirit' that according to the beliefs of the pagan Arabs,RESIDED in the Black Stone meteorite - embedded in the wall of the Ka'ba - that was VENERATED by the pagan Arabians long before Muhammad and his Quran.

The Allah of pagan Arabia was only the NAME (not a TITLE) of the supreme god at the head of their Pantheon of gods and goddesses similar to Jove/ Jupiter or Zeus in the pantheons of the gods of the Romans and the Greeks. Just as Jove and Zeus were NOT the One and Only God of Israel,
neither was Allah.

By understanding this most fundamental of facts regarding the Trinity of: Muhammad, Quran and Allah, everything which is otherwise so perplexing, contradictory, utterly incompatible with the Bible in Time and Space and totally incomprehensible about the Quran becomes CRYSTAL CLEAR.

ALLAH is NOT The GOD of ISRAEL. ALLAH is NOT GOD.

Allah is Muhammad's own ALTER EGO projected onto the persona and into the mouth of ALLAH, the supreme PAGAN DEITY of Arabia.

Hence, according to the Quran, the Arabised name of the God of Israel and the god of the Muhammadan Muslims was made one and the same: ALLAH. This was accomplished despite the fact that the God of Israel has NO NAME and most certainly NOT Allah.

In the Torah, God told Moses when he enquired about the Almighty's name, He replied-

Exodus 3: 14 "I am, who I am" which is YAHWEH, a term repeated in the Bible over 6800 times, but never ALLAH.

Actually, in the Arabic language, God is called al Ilah, similar to the Hebrew Elohim.

For the last 1400 years, the followers of Muhammad have succeeded in perpetrating one of the greatest falsehoods that was ever insinuated into the human consciousness, namely, that Allah was or is the God of Israel. Their triumph fas been so INCREDIBLY successful, that even most of the greatest authorities on the Arabic language, the Quran and the history of the Arabs, were FORCED into TRANSLATING the name Allah into GOD

May I ask you what is your tribe? And your vocation? Your root?

Like I said, I saw you as a waste of time, So I am going to be replying you with very little words, no need for explaining at all.

olanajim:

May I ask you what is your tribe? And your vocation? Your root?

Like I said, I saw you as a waste of time, So I am going to be replying you with very little words, no need for explaining at all.

You are a waste and your generations are all waste of time. Everything you have said so far is completely meaningless. Brainless Arrow.

olanajim:

May I ask you what is your tribe? And your vocation? Your root?

Like I said, I saw you as a waste of time, So I am going to be replying you with very little words, no need for explaining at all.

Exactly! I also see him from that angle.

muhsin:

Exactly! I also see him from that angle.

You and all your muslim brethren combined are all waste of time. If you stop killing people and violence. No one will care about your Muhammedan cult, but as long as you kill, slay, butcher, deceive and oppress people. I will keep criticising you and your evil Muhammedan cult.

Keep it up!

t.truth:

You are a waste and your generations are all waste of time. Everything you have said so far is completely meaningless. Brainless Arrow.

I am happy I have not replied you, If indeed you are a believer in God in bible that the bible shall be applied to you.

As far as I know, when you point a finger at someone, four will be back at you, I pray that God grant your prayer and give you four fold of them with large interest! And if I dont deserve the one that you directed at me, God the merciful should multiply it by four and send them back to you!

I have no further comment! Please only wish me what you want your God to serve you in quadruple. You met the wrong guy for attack, I am sure you will enjoy all your "prayers" as you you churn them out.

I wish you the best.

@Mushin,
I didnt know he is a man! I dont always look at the gender status until now. Funny. A man talking like that? I am sorry. I have no time to waste. he belong to another generation. I am grateful to God I didnt waste my words on him!

he sounds like a woman though,@t truth,dnt just let me say youre dumb

olanajim:


I am happy I have not replied you, If indeed you are a believer in God in bible that the bible shall be applied to you.

As far as I know, when you point a finger at someone, four will be back at you, I pray that God grant your prayer and give you four fold of them with large interest! And if I dont deserve the one that you directed at me, God the merciful should multiply it by four and send them back to you!

I have no further comment! Please only wish me what you want your God to serve you in quadruple. You met the wrong guy for attack, I am sure you will enjoy all your "prayers" as you you churn them out.

I wish you the best.

@Mushin,
I didnt know he is a man! I dont always look at the gender status until now. Funny. A man talking like that? I am sorry. I have no time to waste. he belong to another generation. I am grateful to God I didnt waste my words on him!

I return your curses back to you and all your generations with massive interest. Must you reply everything I write ?? Why is that you Islamist cannot engage in any debate without putting any emotion into it or getting aggressive about it. What have I written that is working you up ?

So you just reply without checking people out ? You are neither a man nor a woman. I never knew you were so dumb and brainless. All you have written so far, makes no sense.

Isn't it true that Islam is an evil Muhammedan cult ??.

Isn't it true that all the problem we are suffering in Nigeria is linked either directly or indirectly to that satanic cult you call Islam ?.

Listen I am not pointing any finger at you, Okay. So all your satanic five fingers goes back to you and your entire generations. You evil boy. Do me a favour, stop replying. Simple as A, B C. You and your unborn generations belong to another world of course nonsense 

uplawal:

he sounds like a woman though,@t truth,dnt just let me say youre dumb

How does a woman sound and how does a man sound ? Tell me

You are dumb and you are extremely nasty

Nonsense

@t.truth,ure super dumbest and nastiest too,av a great

uplawal:

@t.truth,ure super dumbest and nastiest too,av a great

I am not interested in your gworo teeth downlawal. I never knew you are so brainless and so dumb like your husband. Have a great Oraisagirl.

i catch u, ure focus123,oraisaboy

Uplawal,

Please cease doing it that way. Its rather tantamount. . . Thanks for your understanding.

t.truth:

I return your curses back to you and all your generations with massive interest. Must you reply everything I write ?? Why is that you Islamist cannot engage in any debate without putting any emotion into it or getting aggressive about it. What have I written that is working you up ?

So you just reply without checking people out ? You are neither a man nor a woman. I never knew you were so dumb and brainless. All you have written so far, makes no sense.

Isn't it true that Islam is an evil Muhammedan cult ??.

Isn't it true that all the problem we are suffering in Nigeria is linked either directly or indirectly to that satanic cult you call Islam ?.

Listen I am not pointing any finger at you, Okay. So all your satanic five fingers goes back to you and your entire generations. You evil boy. Do me a favour, stop replying. Simple as A, B C. You and your unborn generations belong to another world of course nonsense 

Like I said earlier, you picked up the wrong man for attack and I will let you know why it is so.

First, quote one sentence where I have insulted you and I will apologize. But in the event you dont have any, then you must either apologize or take every diets I have given you (that is swallow every hurtful sentence you have vomited and take it back home for regurgitating).

Second, Look at the sentences in bold fonts in your words. If I were to reply to every one of them, I am sure you will be crying silently right in front of your pc. But I am not like you, I forgive you, I will not insult you back. However, My earlier words stands. For every words of curse and insult you poured at me, May God that you worship pour back four times back at you. if I deserved them, let me receive everything. but If I have neither insulted you nor cursed you first, then let God take every words in those curse and multiply them by four and send it back to you NOT to your generation or anyone else, JUST YOU!

I will not reply you as long as you stop quoting me. In essense, by quoting me, you challenged me to reply you and I am replying you.

As for you saying Islamists dont like debates. Hmmmm, first I am not an Islamist. Second, you have never shown any desire for debate since you started. You are just launching tirades and insulting Islam and muslims in a manner that show that you just want people to accept your stance without comment. In other word, you have shut out the door for debate. Unfortunately, I am matured enough to know where you are going so I have refused to encourage your devilish act. Instead, I have chosen to return everything you vomit back to your plate for regurgitation. It is your vomit after all.

Muslims do debate very well, but that is if you want to debate. The problem with you is that you have foreclosed the possibility of having rational dialogue with anyone. It is either you shut up or you keep ranting. Stop launching attack on people.

I dont know you and you dont know me. The topic of the thread is purely for muslims and not for comparative analysis. Not for Christians. Always stay off threads that you have no business in. It is the attitude like this that bred
misunderstanding.

I can remember that one of the reason Seun created seperate board for muslims was the assumption that that way, non muslims will stay off muslims debates. Unfortunately, we have many spiritual prostitutes moving from Islam to Christian and vice versa while trying to assume the absolute authority over what they dont know.

How I wish you know my stance on religion, you may as well begin to understand why you have chosen the wrong opponent for you venom. It will always return back to you as long as I am not teh one who pour them out.

mind your business and stop poking nose at muslim matters!

@Uplawal,
i agrees with Mushin. Dont insult him back. if you guys can just throw back what they throw at you without adding anything to it, they will begin to see that you are not for the craps. It is not that I cannot insult, instead, I feel the best way to treat a Jahilih is to throw back their vomit at them. if they love it, great. And if they dont like it, then they should stop sending it out to others.

When you discuss on religion, you must know that it a volatile topic. You can not always be right even within the same religion. the only way to put your case across is to marshal your points in a logical way. If it is accepted, fne, and if it is not, fine. What will anyone gain in cyber-debate? Obviously, t.truth is one of those people who like to be seen as Christians while violating its rules. unfortunately for him, I do know a lot about Christians' ethics and no where in the bible is his act justified. So which religion is he propagating?


On a final note:
I related a story of Umar bin Khatab while a khaliph was walking in the mosque at night and mistakenly stumbled upon a poor beggar who was sleeping. The beggar shouted,
"Are you mad?"
To which Umar replied "No!"

the guards charged at the beggar for Insulting the Khaliph hoping to teach him a lesson.
But Umar pulled them back asked them to leave him and then told them. "he merely asked if I were mad, and I have replied"

Moral:
When people insult you, it is better you ether give them back what the deserve or you let them be. Islam does not allow over-reaction. If you can forgive, it is better. Evil spread in the land because in our bid to stamp it out, we over-react.

t.truth is a young man still growing. he doesnt need all the insult beyond what he poured out. Next time he want to pick up a fight, he would someone at his level.