Yorubest:
Hmmm. Thanks for all the advise. I was wrong but there's nothing happening again. Although I used to talk to him fondly about my boss and things in the office which I'm sure makes him not want to trust me. My boss was also at my wedding and he gave us presents and cash which he is aware of.

What can I do now? The trust is gone.

.....Kai!.. I don d fear marriage oh.. Can you just imagine!

yeap that is true u have to quite d job to avoid further damage's.

Yorubest:
[s]Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy[/s]

I'm inviting you to my house to discuss why you felt cheap meeting with your boss for sex twice at his house just by invitation. Come with condoms and don't bother bringing your brain with you because you clearly have none. Your husband married a slut.

xavier047:


Kindly share your experience, seems you have had issues with unforgiving men and decided to allow such stance cloud your sense of reasoning.

@OP, i know this did not happen to you but you have copied and pasted on this wall and i see a different name beneath the message, but then if it did happen, my advice for such a woman is as follows:

1. A sincere remorse and sacrifice (quitting that job) will show that she is willing to do anything to save her marriage and family (which is priority)
2. She need to constantly pray for God to touch the heart of her hubby so the trust will gradually return
3. please do not inform your hubby about every flirt you get from the opposite sex, you never know what will trigger his rage button

In cases as this, it takes God grace to help the victim and the victimized pull through in such situation. Now to be honest, if i was the one, that trust is gone and it will take something divine to trust her again

. Trust is delicate easily ruined and hardly rebuilt

Dyt:



I lave you too

But stop insulting me

I can break head

Bird of the same feather...we know ur type

''Just twice'', no big deal?... CASOR hallelu!

dear God,pls I beg don't ever put me in such situation as a man,gush its really tough for him..in situations like this it takes Gods grace for even the most faithful of men to remain faithful....trust me once your man is not happy and no longer trust u then am sorry....its well

Women's are evil......

Its best if people don't bring their marital problems here, as half the advise you would get are from unmarried folks, who have no idea that marriage is not so easy, but requires a lot of work.

To be honest, i am seeing this from two angles. Most times we say to ourselves lets be honest and share all our secrets. However most people hide some and tell the easiest secrets. I won't be surprised if your husband also hid some other things too, which you too might still not know and might never know.

There are some secrets you should NEVER share, as human beings have their flaws and might never forgive or forget,even if you both agreed to forgive it and start afresh. They might try bringing this up even when there are disagreements. However since you kept this as a secret, i think you should have corrected this long ago by looking for another job when you had the chance, if you did, you would have been saved from this stress and even if he found out, he would hold nothing against you.

I suggest you try talking to your husband, If he is still unreasonable, then you might have to resign immediately (Whether you have a job yet or not).

austinosita:


Selfish set of humans you say!
I'm shock at this your comment. The selfish one here is the op and not the husband. The guy opened up every and she kept the most important secret.....till he got to know himself!

I'm not suggesting she quits her job, but pleading alone won't bring back the trust. She needs to be very remorseful and put in a lot of work(actions) to win that trust.

Am sure the husband already had a "fling" of this info before hand thats why he asked they both recount their past sexual life. madam, my questions are: are u completely over the fling with your boss? secondly, whats your priority here- career or marital life? if the first part is indeed yes, then when your huzzy comes home after work, tell him your intention to quit the job (assuming second part of my question is marital life), make him understand and convinced that is in d past and for the sake of your child. well, handle the situation with care anyway.

Past Mess hunting u

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice
Can you correlate the bolded.
Fling and just twice

If you want to win his trust back just quit d job.
Nothing like fling note just twice is no longer fling.

Trust when broken is difficult to have again. Quitting your job would have been a very first good step but dearie ma if there isn't any alternative to earn money please don't quit yet. Start searching for a new job but have it at the back of your mind that you are leaving that place of work, not only for your marriage but also for your self worth. Pray to God to heal your husband's heart because right now he is also more troubled than you are if he truly loves you.God help you.

just twice? even though it's once... he deserves to know the truth before finding out himself. am sure he will learn to trust you again... just be an open book.

Dyt:
Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans

my dear its painful

Men are more jealous when someone they love is straffing another person either presently or in the past..... Its worst now that she is still in the same working environment with her boss. Her hubby would be thinking she still has something to do with her boss. The trust is no longer there.
all she needs now is prayer.
she also needs to keep on persevering till the end. Her marriage is still young

Dyt:
Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans

You Typed SELFISH SET OF HUMANS? Good, You Can Go Ahead And Share Your Husband Or Guy With Other Girls,Then Tell Me How You Will Feel Later....

Imagine the idiot saying "just twice", which means to her, having random sex twice with anyone is nothing to her - it doesn't even count. Maybe she has to have sex 100 times with a person before it registers in her mind. Those are the traits of a chronic slut. The unfortunate husband had better get himself another wife and divorce this slut.

[quote author=zinachidi post=54222752][/quote]

You are brain dead with how you reason

Commit into God's hands, don't worry yourself now with whether he touch you or not, also accept any treatment you receive for now from him and keep being the best of a wife you can be.

From to when the atmosphere around him seems welcoming, draw closer to and calmly Explain to him and beg for his trust, confine in his friends and ask them to plead to him on your behalf, don't be hasty about the whole thing but with time as you don't give up the trust will be restored.

KevinDein:
yeah, you are a brilliant human being. Your first post on this thread has intelligence written all over it. I'm in awe of you, lady.

Is there a new yardstick to measure intelligence? With what you both said above with regards to this issue, it is obvious that either you two have a different definition of intelligence or that you are deliberately trying to get on the good side of that lady. If you actually have experienced normal relationship, you'll know that the Op has destroyed trust and trust is the reason the man couldn't just look away. Be realistic.

Yorubest:
Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

Have a crisis chat with your husband, explain to him in the calmness of voice, on your knees, crying etc etc etc
Telling him, if you had quit the job, you would have told him, and you did not want to disrespect him, hence you told him all BUT + after you got married to him, nothing of such as ever happened.

After all said and done, go have a shower use your best smelling portions, lead him to the shower and have the best shagging of the year....
..

Dyt:
Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans

to forgive is very easy, but forgetting is very hard.

Dyt:
Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans

we're not selfish! You girls push us to our worst! I just got heartbroken by my fiancée of 2 years plus! I caught her severally with several guys romancing, she even went to another's house and had sex with him and I still forgave her though the trust is no more there! Do you know what I went through within that short period? She was in our room with a man and I was watching from a neighbours window while they were right on the bed romancing! I confronted her and she asked what my business was with her life. A girl I want to marry! She later apologised and I forgave her! That night, I couldn't sleep. I left home 3:30am and jogged 2km away from home....my mind was messed up! Some men that kill their spouse on this same issue, I DON'T BLAME THEM! I've been there and I know how it feels to be heartbroken by someone you truly love.... For my fiancée, though we reconciled coz I love her too much to let her go but you know what I'm gonna do? Dump her ass when she thinks we're still gonna get married after about 12 men.

monerozi5590:
.....Kai!.. I don d fear marriage oh.. Can you just imagine!

bros imagine rubbish, d boss go dey laugh during d wedding say see my left over. the first place wey i work, i catch my oga nacking our sexy secretary. yet na jesus dp and posts full her whatapp and facebook . hoes everywhere

Yorubest:
Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

DID YOU SAY "TWICE"? OUCH!

Yorubest:
Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

Some women always trying to package their worthlessness.... God help you, nuh be only twice you think you can come here and tell us lies??

Just be sincere to yourself,
You can't say you are remorseful and you are still working with your GM, dear we are humans put yourself in his shoes am sure you will act more,

Your family first before your job, think of how truthful he has been to you, you sure do not wanna lose him because of your past mistakes,

Single ladies, what so ever you give to life will surely come back to you, hear me, what God has joined together let no man or woman divide,

Babes respect yourself and be of good model and you will attract your own in other not to regret later, same way when you are married you won't want any lady close to your hubby, apply same rules!

I stopped trusting women since I found out a very big secret my financee concealed from me for 6 years...

Yorubest:
Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

Madam, I actually laughed when you said "just twice". There's nothing like "just twice" OK? Once, can be just once, but twice is already becoming a habit and probably if your boss's wife had stayed away longer then it might have been 'just ten times"

Anyway, I despise girls who fornicate with married men. But what is done is done.

You may have to resign your job because clearly your husband doesn't trust you that much again. What's to say you aren't still sneaking to your boss's home after work once a while.

That's the question on his mind.

Resign. Hopefully, you have savings. And hopefully your company will give you severance package.

Just set up a shop or do something you always wanted to do to bring money.

Tell your husband after you have resigned and not before. And don't expect him to get over that sh1t for now.

space007:
You are the one threatening your marriage not your boss.
You broke the promise by keeping that secret, I think you should have told him in the first place mind you twice isn't a "JUST".... Earning his trust again will be very very hard, just start by resigning from your job.

A man rock your ass twice & you tagged it just a fling I think something is wrong somewhere if this story is true. .

Dyt:
Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans

Dyt, the man is very linient. As for me I would have left that house the very first time she admitted adultery.

In my culture habouring an adulterous lady is tantamount to death sentence.
Yes, I know many of you form oyinbo that these things do not happen. Those who thought so and flouted it, over 90% are not alive to even regret it. Once the man knows, he's in soup.

Girls can mess about before marriage. Once married, no more.

Before people go on about " how men do it, that is is hypocrisy", well polygamy is allowed across many cultures. Our women desirous of legal multiple pric.ks can go to parts of India where polyandry is cultural.

By the way, both my father & grandfather were not polygamous even though their culture allows it. And grandfather was even offered young women for marriage those days. He refused.

RESIGN! Ask God for forgiveness, Forgive yourself, career is a thing of this world but marriage is designed by God. it hurts! if you don't want to resign, these will happen-
1. your husband will start flirting, after all he doesn't trust you.
2. your boss will always have his way for a fling any time and any where.
3.you will sin against God, your husband, your boss's wife and your child.
4.you will experience a broken marriage
5. your children will always be confused.