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United In Betrayal - Literature (85) - Nairaland

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Unfinished Business (21+ - A Story Of Betrayal, Sex And Infidelity) / The Enemy Within - A Tale Of Love, Lust And Betrayal / DAYO'S ANGEL( Love, Lust And Betrayal) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: United In Betrayal by Oyindidi(f): 9:38pm On Aug 23, 2017
SydneyBrown:
YaY........Am so happy fr Claire and Phil

Michael can cry all he wants fr all i care

Abeg PamelB more ink to ya pen.
Phil is too good to be realgrin I'm still not comfy with him around her

1 Like

Re: United In Betrayal by Kimkardashain(f): 9:38pm On Aug 23, 2017
weldne hun, tnks
Re: United In Betrayal by SydneyBrown(f): 8:30am On Aug 24, 2017
Oyindidi:
Phil is too good to be realgrin I'm still not comfy with him around her

Lol....dey re people lyk dat nah
Phil is a good guy
Re: United In Betrayal by Sveen: 9:39am On Aug 24, 2017
Nice one OP, however I think the way you portrayed Phil is unreal, and somewhat perfect with desperation.

Ever since he laid his eyes on claire, he's made it a point of duty to make her his, fully aware she is married.

And from the way Micheal was quick to forget about he's perfect Sarah that he almost killed his wife for cos of a scandal, to falling in love with Amara that he's been living with for years to the point of divorcing he's wife for and then out of love for again.

Claire didn't fight for her marriage because Phil was in the picture... and the only thing I know about this philip is that he is a divorced barrister and also friends with Enatel, he could be lying about both as we neither know his family nor see him in barrister action. We really don't know much about him to ascertain if he is indeed a gentleman or a serial heartbreaker.

Kelvin chose claire over Micheal, a friend wouldn't do that.

Since micheal is a dog that rape anything in Skirt, why hasnt he molested the two new maids or that new claire's friend? He did molested Ebere and Kelvins fiance afterall

I don't know if I'm the only one but I think the theme of this story was meant to separate Mike and Claire and bring her to Phil, thereby making mike the miserable one in the process.... Which doesn't sit well with most of your critics.

The readers telling you otherwise are mainly interested in the story, they do not care if you're doing a good job or not. The story is so predictable that I can continue from here as I know how it'll end.

But then again, it is only my point of view.

3 Likes

Re: United In Betrayal by boldndbeautiful(f): 9:58am On Aug 24, 2017
Sveen:
Nice one OP, however I think the way you portrayed Phil is unreal, and somewhat perfect with desperation.

Ever since he laid his eyes on claire, he's made it a point of duty to make her his, fully aware she is married.

And from the way Micheal was quick to forget about he's perfect Sarah that he almost killed his wife for cos of a scandal, to falling in love with Amara that he's been living with for years to the point of divorcing he's wife for and then out of love for again.

Claire didn't fight for her marriage because Phil was in the picture... and the only thing I know about this philip is that he is a divorced barrister and also friends with Enatel, he could be lying about both as we neither know his family nor see him in barrister action. We really don't know much about him to ascertain if he is indeed a gentleman or a serial heartbreaker.

Kelvin chose claire over Micheal, a friend wouldn't do that.

Since micheal is a dog that rape anything in Skirt, why hasnt he molested the two new maids or that new claire's friend? He did molested Ebere and Kelvins fiance afterall

I don't know if I'm the only one but I think the theme of this story was meant to separate Mike and Claire and bring her to Phil, thereby making mike the miserable one in the process.... Which doesn't sit well with most of your critics.

The readers telling you otherwise are mainly interested in the story, they do not care if you're doing a good job or not. The story is so predictable that I can continue from here as I know how it'll end.

But then again, it is only my point of view.

My own point of view, Claire fought for her marriage, she tried biko, not every woman will be willing to forgive a man that sleeps around even to a point of sleeping with her own blood sister, abi is the fact that he beat her up, made her loose her baby?, to me she over tried self.

Kelvin is a friend to both Micheal and Claire, for the fact he knew Micheal first or called him brother doesn't mean he should forsake Claire .

Anyway sha, d writer knows her plot, we are nothing but readers when it comes to this story.

6 Likes

Re: United In Betrayal by Ephhay(f): 10:43am On Aug 24, 2017
Well-done ma'am. This is a wonderful story.
Re: United In Betrayal by Nkysuccess(f): 10:44am On Aug 24, 2017
Sveen:
Nice one OP, however I think the way you portrayed Phil is unreal, and somewhat perfect with desperation.

Ever since he laid his eyes on claire, he's made it a point of duty to make her his, fully aware she is married.

And from the way Micheal was quick to forget about he's perfect Sarah that he almost killed his wife for cos of a scandal, to falling in love with Amara that he's been living with for years to the point of divorcing he's wife for and then out of love for again.

Claire didn't fight for her marriage because Phil was in the picture... and the only thing I know about this philip is that he is a divorced barrister and also friends with Enatel, he could be lying about both as we neither know his family nor see him in barrister action. We really don't know much about him to ascertain if he is indeed a gentleman or a serial heartbreaker.

Kelvin chose claire over Micheal, a friend wouldn't do that.

Since micheal is a dog that rape anything in Skirt, why hasnt he molested the two new maids or that new claire's friend? He did molested Ebere and Kelvins fiance afterall

I don't know if I'm the only one but I think the theme of this story was meant to separate Mike and Claire and bring her to Phil, thereby making mike the miserable one in the process.... Which doesn't sit well with most of your critics.

The readers telling you otherwise are mainly interested in the story, they do not care if you're doing a good job or not. The story is so predictable that I can continue from here as I know how it'll end.

But then again, it is only my point of view.
Your point of view actually but your analysis of the story is so poor maybe u should try and read d story all over again so as to better understand it. All the same understanding differs

2 Likes

Re: United In Betrayal by bimberry1307(f): 11:49am On Aug 24, 2017
Hmmm! how refreshing. Thanks for the update.
Re: United In Betrayal by StephanieElla24: 11:55am On Aug 24, 2017
:DHehehe.... it has been one hell of a ride,sacrificed my night's � because of this I must say you are doing a very nice job PamelB.....
To the story..... Michael as you portrayed him initially was a perfect gentleman but Like a captain that can't control his ship from shipwreck he allowed his family to be torn apart by himself yes himself!! . Infidelity is a very bad thing to indulge in as a married � or � but domestic violence is the height of it all, he shouldn't have laid a finger on his wife.... he can still bring his family together although they Re already divorced if only his pride would allow him he worry so much and his ego that most things he should hv settled with little or no difficulty slipped away from him. Also he has trust issues....... A VERY BIG ONE AT DAT he should hv at least given his wife benefit of doubt before hasting into actions he regrets later....
Claire ,yes like someone had pointed out earlier she shouldn't hv kept Phil like dat maintaining dat kind of friendship but God has a way of doing things else He shouldn't hv left only Phil's � to be going through at dat moment when Michael had hit her but then she tried as a woman that wanted to keep her home amidst all troubles
Phil... I don't understand why a man would still be chasing a married woman hiding under the canopy that he wants her to b happy dats nt it Abeg.... He should go find anoda lady because am very sure there are many ladies like Claire out there...
Amara......this one is old enough to act responsible nd accordingly as a woman she should hv ascertained how things were before she jumped into conclusion no matter Wat she shouldnt hv bite the fingers that fed her she was raped buh after the rape Wat next?? this clearly showed that she willingly allowed that to happen even though under the disguise as a rape she should hv done sth since she noticed that Kelvin wasn't himself rather she let her emotions get over her....
Kelvin..... dis one under the canopy of correcting michael has also contributed to the damage the family is suffering..... he shouldn't hv given up on Michael so easily.... am sure when Claire finds out that he raped his sister knowingly or unknowingly she won't be happy with him... buh nevertheless he tried as a human being he in bringing the family back.
hmm Madam Channel that just carried everything on her head thinking she is doing Claire any good..... lemme reserve my comment on dis one issokay
Hmmmm...... I don't want Phil nd Claire to become a thing rather she should go out to another environment and start all over..... Hw am I sure that she is not loving Phil out of sympathy for Wat he has done for her nd relationship is not built on sympathy it's a weak foundation......lemme stop with my long talks here buh one thing is sure dat � will still come bck together to tell their story......nice story PamelB big lessons to learn from it*sha dats my opinion nd everybody is entitled to his or her.... *

3 Likes

Re: United In Betrayal by Sensitivity1254: 2:46pm On Aug 24, 2017
Bu
Sveen:
Nice one OP, however I think the way you portrayed Phil is unreal, and somewhat perfect with desperation.

Ever since he laid his eyes on claire, he's made it a point of duty to make her his, fully aware she is married.

And from the way Micheal was quick to forget about he's perfect Sarah that he almost killed his wife for cos of a scandal, to falling in love with Amara that he's been living with for years to the point of divorcing he's wife for and then out of love for again.

Claire didn't fight for her marriage because Phil was in the picture... and the only thing I know about this philip is that he is a divorced barrister and also friends with Enatel, he could be lying about both as we neither know his family nor see him in barrister action. We really don't know much about him to ascertain if he is indeed a gentleman or a serial heartbreaker.

Kelvin chose claire over Micheal, a friend wouldn't do that.

Since micheal is a dog that rape anything in Skirt, why hasnt he molested the two new maids or that new claire's friend? He did molested Ebere and Kelvins fiance afterall

I don't know if I'm the only one but I think the theme of this story was meant to separate Mike and Claire and bring her to Phil, thereby making mike the miserable one in the process.... Which doesn't sit well with most of your critics.

The readers telling you otherwise are mainly interested in the story, they do not care if you're doing a good job or not. The story is so predictable that I can continue from here as I know how it'll end.

But then again, it is only my point of view.

it seems you missed the chapter where Kelvin narrated how he came to like Claire and would protect her with his life ? When Claire defended him and helped him escape expulsion From school and prison.
Re: United In Betrayal by Sensitivity1254: 2:50pm On Aug 24, 2017
Nkysuccess:

Your point of view actually but your analysis of the story is so poor maybe u should try and read d story all over again so as to better understand it. All the same understanding differs

Understanding differs that's what ttheyare yet to come to terms with. We all cannot see tings through same prism and perspective.
Re: United In Betrayal by Alennsar(f): 2:50pm On Aug 24, 2017
boldndbeautiful:


My own point of view, Claire fought for her marriage, she tried biko, not every woman will be willing to forgive a man that sleeps around even to a point of sleeping with her own blood sister, abi is the fact that he beat her up, made her loose her baby?, to me she over tried self.

Kelvin is a friend to both Micheal and Claire, for the fact he knew Micheal first or called him brother doesn't mean he should forsake Claire .

Please don't mind him and his rubbish talks

Anyway sha, d writer knows her plot, we are nothing but readers when it comes to this story.
Re: United In Betrayal by onometee(f): 3:42pm On Aug 24, 2017
Make una allow person enjoy this story in peace... na wa o
Re: United In Betrayal by LilySopi(f): 3:58pm On Aug 24, 2017
With all this long comments, y not use it and write ur own story make we read. haba ni

4 Likes

Re: United In Betrayal by aprilwise(m): 4:10pm On Aug 24, 2017
Amara should kill her self now than to commit suicide later when the shame becomes too much to bear.
Re: United In Betrayal by Rhayne(f): 4:59pm On Aug 24, 2017
LilySopi:
With all this long comments, y not use it and write ur own story make we read. haba ni
I just taya o..comments pouring in are even longer than the updates

1 Like

Re: United In Betrayal by Oyindidi(f): 6:05pm On Aug 24, 2017
Rhayne:

I just taya o..comments pouring in are even longer than the updates
very annoying

1 Like

Re: United In Betrayal by onometee(f): 6:17pm On Aug 24, 2017
People of Nairaland, I have posted my first story oo Biko support my ministry
https://www.nairaland.com/4009790/dangerous-friend#59790649
Re: United In Betrayal by xprezz02(f): 7:21pm On Aug 24, 2017
onometee:
People of Nairaland, I have posted my first story oo
Biko support my ministry

https://www.nairaland.com/4009790/dangerous-friend#59790649
hope u will finish it oh

1 Like

Re: United In Betrayal by Auric(m): 8:11pm On Aug 24, 2017
make una nor vex but d way some people comment take dey long like say na d story update nor b here..


make una easy abeg

1 Like

Re: United In Betrayal by onometee(f): 8:26pm On Aug 24, 2017
xprezz02:
hope u will finish it oh

Lol yes

1 Like

Re: United In Betrayal by Lildiamond: 9:06pm On Aug 24, 2017
I love this story. Thumbs up writer

1 Like

Re: United In Betrayal by PamelB(f): 9:37pm On Aug 24, 2017
She was the first to break away from the kiss.
She looked at him as he stared at her dreamily.

"I'll say my goodbye to everyone then I'll leave. Thank you so much for today." She said, looking away from him

"I'll send your gifts over. I....."

She turned and walked away without casting him a last look.
He watched her till she disappeared out of sight. He shook his head and leaned on the railing, praying that things work out between the both of them.


Chantal watched from a distance, they both deserved each other. Claire is a lovely lady and deserves all the happiness in the world. They'd been friends for less than a month but she already felt a connection between them. She smiled and started going downstairs. Before the day finally draws its curtain, she still has one more visit to make


************

"Tell me, what happened?" Kelvin asked after he had parked at the amusement park.

Michael shook his head and tears dropped from his eyes.

"Should we come down and take a walk?" Kelvin asked again but got the same response

"I can't help you man if you don't talk to me. I didn't come all the way from Abuja to watch you cry like a baby.'

"She...... She's been cheating on me with a boy. She...... She's dealing with me in same way I treated Claire. She's......."

"Does she know that you saw her?" Kelvin interrupted and Michael answered with a nod.

"And?"

"And she came to apologize."

"And?"

"Sent her out and asked her to leave my life. She must be on her way out......."

He was yet to finish before Michael started the ignition and drove off in full speed.

***********

Amara couldn't eat what she had ordered for. She stared at the food in front of her, thinking through all Ebere said before she had left.

"They both had no position in the house. Was that true? Michael had changed completely after the divorce, does that mean he never wanted her as a live-in wife. They were happy before Claire left so why the sudden change?"

She was interrupted by footsteps and she looked up just in time to see Chantal standing directly in front of her

"I must say I'm early for dinner."

"What are you doing here? What are you doing in my house?" Amara stood up angrily

"Easy girl. I come in peace. Easy." Chantal said with a mockery bow

"I didn't see you at the party so I decided to bring you some cake. I know you love cakes, don't you?" Chantal asked, bringing out a parcel from her handbag and handing it to Amara.

"What party?" Amara asked, taking the parcel from her

"Claire's birthday party and guess what? It was organised in the cute barrister's house. Another interesting news, Michael was there too. He even bought her gifts, expensive gifts. Anyways, I just came ..........."

Amara flung the parcel to the floor and glared angrily at Chantal

"How dare you come here to insult me? How dare you?"

"Insult? Was that an insult? Michael was there at tge party. I was wondering why you didn't come with him so that the Media can recognise you as......."

*Shut up." Amara cried

"No you shut up. What were you thinking? That when you came here, you'll get everything on a platter of gold? That he'll easily forget his wife just to be in your cheating arms? Seriously? I planned to deal with you, to make this city too hot for you but I don't think I'll be handling the job anymore since karma has come directly to you. The pain I saw in Michael's eyes when he saw Claire in Phil's arms, plus what I see in your eyes right now, I know without been told that you're already miserable. This is the last you'll hear from me but I want my words to be in your head forever."

Chantal watched her cry helplessly

"Crying won't help you. What were you thinking? That someone who cheated on his wife with the kid sister will ever change if he gets married to that same kid sister? He'll see you as cheap and worthless Amara. Didn't you see the way your Michael was with me just a day after his divorce? I did all that in front of you to show you that you've dug your own grave. He'll never respect you Amara, society will never respect you and even the baby in your womb will never respect you for taking your own sister's husband."

She spared her one last glance only to turn around to see both Kelvin and Michael standing by the door.

She walked up to them, looked them over before leaving the house.
Her job here is over.

29 Likes 2 Shares

Re: United In Betrayal by Nathblessing(m): 10:03pm On Aug 24, 2017
Karma! Karma!! Karma!!! Kudos to you PamelB. More ink to your pen.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: United In Betrayal by yewande1234(f): 10:10pm On Aug 24, 2017
M so loving dis story,thanks 4 d update ma

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: United In Betrayal by jumpmasta(m): 10:42pm On Aug 24, 2017
Chantel is pushing her luck ...what kind of busy body is this oooo....

1 Like

Re: United In Betrayal by MrKIDO(m): 10:47pm On Aug 24, 2017
Purely Karma!, How i wish micheal can change for good..

1 Like 1 Share

Re: United In Betrayal by Nobody: 11:31pm On Aug 24, 2017
PamelB, I must say, you are wonderful and sorry for the loss of your uncle. accept my condolences in arrears.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: United In Betrayal by jayeoba92: 11:48pm On Aug 24, 2017
without a doubt, pamel b is excellent and superb. may you never lack wisdom.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: United In Betrayal by iamnicer: 11:53pm On Aug 24, 2017
K-A-R-M-A

1 Like 1 Share

Re: United In Betrayal by adealaric(m): 2:12am On Aug 25, 2017
This story is very interesting.
Nice work Miss Pamela

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: United In Betrayal by Sveen: 8:02am On Aug 25, 2017
LilySopi:
With all this long comments, y not use it and write ur own story make we read. haba ni
HI lady, I feel your post is offensive, much to my chagrin. However I'm not about to hurl insults or belittle anyone, but then you have to understand that it is only natural for a good literary work like this to attract criticism. Even pamelb knows this!

Writers like larry.sun, she.writes and a hosts of other usually post their story here for correction and criticism before publishing. Critics is part of literature and it improves a writer, no one is perfect and I'm sure everyone here will most certainly have something to say about this story, a favorite character and a hated one. That is what makes literature interesting, the different point of views and the arguments.

I only criticised the story, I don't know why some people are taking it personal. If anyone must do that it should be OP.

4 Likes 4 Shares

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