Dude, don't let a woman dictate for you when to disclose facts. Let your family be in the know that your GF already has a child as it seems your GF is the one who is wearing the trousers in your relationship. Man up mate, and dont let your GF make that decision for you.

olaszydaruma:
This is exactly what is going on in my life too. Although my family is yet to discovered that she already had a child before. She said I should not let them know yet, that when its time she will let me know.

BleSSedMee:

Sir? Lol. I'm a momma.

[quote author=BleSSedMee post=54914322]
momma.

tosyne2much:
I just hope they won't kick her ass out when they know, or what do you think bro?

Alati se lo n mo atise ara re

Kakamorufu:
wait. Are u the brother who went snitching

Cambridge question

Flintstone06:

Haha! Na she go tell you time... She dey control you kwa

Not really. I'm just giving her the benefit of the doubt

Taryur3:

Bitch....we already knew the girl got a kid...my brother will be her second love and not first becos her child will always come first....continue to give a dead advise to mislead him....we are waiting for him here...you can follow him up to cook the lies very well though

ha. Like u holy pass abi.

Thanks for the advice bro

TheeDetective:
Dude, don't let a woman dictate for you when to disclose facts. Let your family be in the know that your GF already has a child as it seems your GF is the one who is wearing the trousers in your relationship. Man up mate, and dont let your GF make that decision for you.

Taryur3:
Cambridge question

she go marry he in d end. Nothing wey una fit do.

TheeDetective:
Not playing the blame game o, but at 15 years old she already has a child, that means that she probably was 14 when she got pregnant which is a very young age to be a mum. At that age, one would expect her to be concentrating on her school work and not having a baby. That said, she’s 22 now which means the child is about 7 years old. The question is can you accept that you have a 7 years old step child? When you eventually have your own first child with her, how would you feel? It's understandable if you already had a child as well but for your case, you never get pikin yet o and you think its child’s play to suddenly become a father to a step child? No offence o, but e go hard small, so make you pay careful attention to wetin your family wan talk for this matter o. No let anybody deceive you say go ahead and marry her it's all in the past so nothing happen o, cos when everything blow, dem no go der there with you o.

the one cornered brain people wouldn't see this logically!

Kakamorufu:
she go marry he in d end. Nothing wey una fit do.

Lols...you don't know the remaining 4boys in our house...

[b][/b]

goingape1:
if your mother is a single mum and your dad got married to her then I take ya dad as a real man!

Can you make an intelligent point without involving parents? I totally doubt that.
By baggage, I didn't only mean with child. We're not prejudicial in my family, we've welcomed different single mums and they're living pretty well. It's because of judgemental people like you that girls commit numerous abortions because they don't want to be stigmatized by your likes. In your quest of running away from after one, you don't know if you'll eventually end up with after 8 (abortions)

Kakamorufu:
ha. Like u holy pass abi.

Nabteb question

dominique:
[b][/b]

Can you make an intelligent point without involving parents? I totally doubt that.
By baggage, I didn't only mean with child. We're not prejudicial in my family, we've welcomed different single mums and they're living pretty well. It's because of judgemental people like you that girls commit numerous abortions because they don't want to be stigmatized by your likes. In your quest of running away from after one, you don't know if you'll eventually end up with after 8 (abortions)

your family must be an IDP camp.

Congrate for taking care of the single mums!


Marrying a single mum is a no no in our society and it shows lack of dignity period!

limitless777:
ADVICE when mostly needed IS less heeded.
my brother in Ur best interest and for Ur future's sake, NO try marry dt chic. IF you do: IT WILL ( and very very likely may/might ) be the worst decision U'll make in Ur LIFE.
It looks like it's going to be "Ur DECISION" NOW but when the chips are down and DONE U'll understand that MARRIAGE is beyond a MAN AND a WOMAN "loving?" themselves, living together to bleep till GOD calls them apart.

A WORD is enough for the WISE.

What do you think marriage is? A child's play. Every marriage has got its ups and down, whether you marry a virgin or a single mum, there is bound to be misunderstanding, but what sustains it, is the level of your friendship, openness and your style of relationship prior to your marriage. Who ever told you that marriage is crisis free? Your parents aren't gonna live with you nor dictate to you how you run your home, it's purely between you and your spouse until you invite them into your crisis. I am against your parent asking you not to marry the Lady simply because she has had a child, if they have any other thing against her which is unknown to us, then i give up but if it simply because of this child issue, then they need to put themselves in the shoe of that young ladys parent. Mistakes do happen, and what if this Lady have aborted the pregnancy, pretend to op as if nothing happened, then they got married and wedded; only for complication to set in as a result of the abortion she had, I am sure, it is the same you that am quoting now, that will first rain insults and call her all sorts of names. @ Op, just be sure she is a good lady with a good character and a good heart. Pray over it and allow God do the rest.

Taryur3:

Lols...you don't know the remaining 4boys in our house...

i don't give a Bleep. Cus they all sucks

limitless777:



tosyne baba U too much.
MARRIAGE matter NO BE bread and butter.
make them ask Tonto, Funke Akind, etc

Ok, those people you said they should ask, didn't their parents support and give their blessings during their marriage? What happens after all. So it is not about getting married to a single mother but the individual involved. Tonto parents and funke Akindeles parents must have supported their daughters marriage to these men, but today, what is the situation of things with them. Marriage is not about the parents, nor the siblings because if the man say him no dey do again, if the parents and siblings like, make them beg from morning till night, e no go change the man decision, but it is about the couple coming togethers happiness. I don tire to dey type. @ Op may God guide you alright amen

ststyreal:

What do you think marriage is? A child's play. Every marriage has got its ups and down, whether you marry a virgin or a single mum, there is bound to be misunderstanding, but what sustains it, is the level of your friendship, openness and your style of relationship prior to your marriage. Who ever told you that marriage is crisis free? Your parents aren't gonna live with you nor dictate to you how you run your home, it's purely between you and your spouse until you invite them into your crisis. I am against your parent asking you not to marry the Lady simply because she has had a child, if they have any other thing against her which is unknown to us, then i give up but if it simply because of this child issue, then they need to put themselves in the shoe of that young ladys parent. Mistakes do happen, and what if this Lady have aborted the pregnancy, pretend to op as if nothing happened, then they got married and wedded; only for complication to set in as a result of the abortion she had, I am sure, it is the same you that am quoting now, that will first rain insults and call her all sorts of names. @ Op, just be sure she is a good lady with a good character and a good heart. Pray over it and allow God do the rest.

so them should have self pity on the girl because she had a child out of wedlock

If your son bring a single mum to marry, you will be the first to reject it.

Let me tell you this! I have never seen a responsible parents who will graciously accept there son to marry a single mum. Quote me wrong.


Stop talking out of self pity and let us talk reality.

goingape1:
see them!

one cornered brain people
protect again who? the girl did something irresponsible at her youth and you want the op parent to pay for her irresponsible act.

useless women everywhere

See you see saint! Abeg, shift go one corner make I read better people comment.

Kakamorufu:
i don't give a Bleep. Cus they all sucks

Ok

ststyreal:

See you see saint! Abeg, shift go one corner make I read better people comment.

a saint is someone who didn't give in to lustful desire.

Ya fellow single mums comment are up there! You can read them and console yaself

Nne5:
She asked me if my family will allow me to marry her I said that should be my decision.

That should be your decision.

Why are you now 'fearing'

Except you think your FAM would influence your decision but don't allow them do that.

Why are you now fearing kwa

ibolomo:
what tribe are you from? Are your parents strict enough to disown you if you stand your ground? Are you willing to choose the woman instead of your family? Do you believe the lady in question is worth it?
If you answer these questions truthfully, you have your answer already.

I won't advice anyone directly, before they say one guy on nairaland is the one that destroyed their life

Funny u bro

Taryur3:

She only had a child...yes...she did...at age 15...kilode... they swear for her toto ni...we don't drink boredhole in our family

Na you wan drink am? Gboro mii dele RU. You think you are being smart, wait and see how yours will turn out. If to say she do abortion naw, you for don welcome her.

Taryur3:

One single mum sighted and disturbing here....we bleep with care and not under age...at 15.? Nooo....we just don't ant her....child's ove is the first she will considered before thinking of my bro

You see yourself! Are you your brother? Don't you think you are being selfish by not putting your brothers feelings towards this girl into consideration? Infact, talking to u is like wasting my precious time. @ Op, Do whatever makes you happy irrespective of some bad belles that call themselves your brother abi na siblings opinion.

Taryur3:

No but because she started bleeping at 15

ststyreal:

You see yourself! Are you your brother? Don't you think you are being selfish by not putting your brothers feelings towards this girl into consideration? Infact, talking to u is like wasting my precious time. @ Op, Do whatever makes you happy irrespective of some bad belles that call themselves your brother abi na siblings opinion.

Pain of a frustrated single mum sighted....follow him down here on Sunday if you care much about the relationship

ststyreal:

Na you wan drink am? Gboro mii dele RU. You think you are being smart, wait and see how yours will turn out. If to say she do abortion naw, you for don welcome her.

Am sure you have a single brother...we will dash your brother the girl...you hear?

Taryur3:

Nabteb question

You for answer the question now. Shame no dey catch you na girl you dey fight. That age at which the girl took in should inform your sporadic brain that she was still a teenager and could be easily deceived by guys like you. I no wan follow you talk because you just dey behave like small pikin.

goingape1:
so them should have self pity on the girl because she had a child out of wedlock

If your son bring a single mum to marry, you will be the first to reject it.

Let me tell you this! I have never seen a responsible parents who will graciously accept there son to marry a single mum. Quote me wrong.


Stop talking out of self pity and let us talk reality.

There is nothing like self pity here. I am telling you the reality and my stand. All have sin and fallen short of the glory of God; because she had a child before marriage doesn't make her less a better person than those ones that have aborted millions. What every parents should be interested in, is in their sons happiness. If my son is happy and have decided to make her his wife, who am I to say no. I can only advice both of them and supports them with my prayers not to conderm her, never.

Kondomatic:
Love in relationships is the absence of common sense.



It doesn't conquer anything.




@Op.
You will parents will start to love her soon if she has good character but if you're not sure then I suggest you let go because marrying her against your parents wish means nobody will stand by you when she starts showing you her real color.

I personally can't marry a single mom and I won't allow my daughter to marry a single dad. I have my reasons for that but if you are sure that the woman is a good woman, a great marriage material that will not change to something else in the long then marry her.

they wont like her soon because they dont care. they would not even bother to get to know her character because they have already made up their minds and everything she does will never be good enough. the girl is already doomed in their eyes. it is left for the op if heis matured enough to be a man and take a stand else it is already over between them. and if he cant take a stand on this and maintain it even against his family, then he is not yet redy to get married.

goingape1:
a saint is someone who didn't give in to lustful desire.

Ya fellow single mums comment are up there! You can read them and console yaself

Let me educate you, just open your eyes wide enough to read what am about writing to you now. We all are sinners, no matter how insignificant you think your sins are. Remember the adulterous woman, and what Jesus said to her accuser, I don't know what you believe in and what guides your existence here on earth but as for me, the word of God guides my actions here on earth, hence, I will not condemn her simply because she has got a child but would rather counsel her as a mother.
Secondly, by Gods grace I will be 10 years in marriage soonest, and I am by no means a single mum, infact i got married at a similar age to the lady being discuss here hence, whatever i comments here, is base on the fact that, we should learn to accept people the way they are and not make them feel worst than they have already been. That lady, as I am talking to you now, is full of regrets over her actions in the past, so, we shouldn't make her feel worst by rejecting her simply because of her child.
Thirdly and most importantly, I have witnessed how abortion could destroy a womans existence here on earth. I know of a girl, then in my neighbourhood, whose parents has the same mentality as that of op. Anytime their child takes in, they will secretly abort it just to avoid the shame that comes with it. This, they keep doing until the last straw that broke the camels back happened. She took in again as usual and the worst is that, she will never mention the name of the guys impregnating her, as if they are using jars according to people for her. The parents wept bitterly in the open, even flogged her in the street to see if she will confess the owner of the pregnancy, for where? She no still talk, so the parents decided to do as usual, since she doesn't want to mention the person that impregnated her; to cut the story short, today, she has got only one womb with her. The other womb got damaged in the process of abortion, and some of you will even see her in the street and long to have her as your wife but wouldnt know what she has done in the past, simply because there is no child with her. What I am preaching here today is that we shouldn't steal her joy because of her youthful mistake. Yes, we agreed, she has made a mistake but rejecting her as a wife because of Gods gift, which others are spending millions to have, is a no no for me. Forgive any grammatical blunder cited.

This is my simple advice. since u claimed to love the lady, kindly on compassionate ground settle with your parent, convince them to see reasons with u and hoping they diligently oblige your request.

Most parent especially in the eastern part of the country may go to any extent to make sure u don't marry lady, particularly if she has had a child for another man. Where u insist and marry such a lady, some parent may use any slightest opportunity to terminate the lady's life or even go diabolical. They having the notion that the lady want to reap where she didn't so or the lady trying to brainwash a guy they fought hard to raise up as man.

plead with your parent if u more dan 70% sure she will never change from good to worst. Best of luck in your meeting with your parent