kimbra:
LMAO. Not everyone got a proper home training you know?, I buy things from the stores and after paying I unconsciously say "Thank you". That word could be heavy on some lips.

It is odd that the op even now the importance. Very odd.

alfredo4u:
House, just needed candid advise, my mother Inlaw is in my place for omugo/visit.

Just this evening my wife served me my dinner and after finish eating I left the parlour to the bed room, my wife came in and said why didn't I even say thank ma to her mother.

Pls kindly advise becos I nearly took offence about it.

there is no need to take offence. I also find it difficult to say thank u to any oda person apart from my parents. one funny tin happened in my house one day. my little cousin came to stay wit us. my mum just finished eating wen my cousin went to pack d dishes she said thank u ma. me and my siblings started laughing. we said my mum ate for her stomach and my cousin is saying thank ma for y now. my mum told us dat Dats how she also was trained u tell every elder around wen u finish eating thank u. even wen an elder finish eating u tell d person thank . we always laugh over dat everyday because it still doesn't mk sense. so telling ur mother in law thank ma is nothing

Some of you are mad. Say thank you ma because she's older? What did she contribute to the making of the food that I should be thanking her?. Even if it were my own Mother, why should I thank her after eating the food that was prepared with my own money?

Religion, culture and this backward thinking that elders are always right are the reasons why Africa is developmentally stagnant.

Una go dey alright. Tm

Nigerians are capable of following tradition without understanding its purpose.

You were taught to thank your parents because they provided the meal-- money, cooking, serving etc.

You're in your house and the MIL is visiting. Why should you thank her for a food you provided for? She should be the one thanking you.

Please educate your wife a little. We shouldn't follow traditions blindly.

UjSizzle:
Nigerians are capable of following tradition without understanding its purpose.

You were taught to thank your parents because they provided the meal-- money, cooking, serving etc.

You're in your house and the MIL is visiting. Why should you thank her for a food you provided for? She should be the one thanking you.

Please educate your wife a little. We shouldn't follow traditions blindly.

Thank you.


The only people I thank are my parents and the people that serve me.

Seems it is a cultural thing. I am Igbo and I was confused to see people asking why you should say thank you. It is simple courtesy and takes nothing away from you. In Igbo and some other places it is normal and not a big deal and should not be one. It is expected of you to thank your elders after meal and it is not a big deal. After eating you say thank you whether it was your money that was used or not. It is not mandatory and is simple courtesy. Guess it is based on tribe.

As much as THANK YOU is a sign o respect i don't think its overly necessary. If i were in op's shoes after the meal ,i'd just hail my wife for her cooking prowess and ask mama if she enjoyed the meal. I think maybe there was little communication after the meal and it seemed awkward to ur wife so in her quest to know if everything was alright she asked why u didn't say 'thank you' as that is the most common after meal comment.Bro don't take it too serious.

Seems it is a cultural thing. I am Igbo and I was confused to see people asking why you should say thank you. It is simple courtesy and takes nothing away from you. In Igbo and some other places it is normal and not a big deal and should not be one. It is expected of you to thank your elders after meal and it is not a big deal. After eating you say thank you whether it was your money that was used or not. It is not mandatory and is simple courtesy. Don't do it if you don't want to, nobody is forcing you

You could just say "the food was delicious mummy" or complement it ... dunno about thanks sha , i don't think its necessary , you're family

Yes it is very proper, it is a healthy way to show appreciate, cos its not easy to prepare a meal either.

[quote author=alfredo4u post=54916238]

I footed for the bill, she only came for visit...[/quote
What tribe are you from?

Now, i asked that for a reason.As for me, whenever i finish eating, if there is an urhobo elderly person there,i "digwe"(Urhobo way of greeting).Irrespective of whether the food was prepared by him or her.It's a sign of respect for that elderly one. I once ate in a restaurant and after eating, i greeted an elderly man there. When i did, he was kinda surprised.Prolly he never expected that.But we were all raised differently.I came from a home where we were all trained to call our seniors 'brother' or 'sister'. Irrespective of the difference in the number of years,you greet your seniors seniors after eating. That's how we were raised, while growing up. It was a rule, then. You greet before eating, and after eating.

I know it's really not compulsory, but think of it that's its your mum that was present and your wife and left the table without greeting your mum.Or your mum was present and you ate. Won't you greet her when you are done?
But what do I know! Different strokes for different folks!

MIL is there to help them. Also, she is older. It won't cost him anything nor would it bring disrespect if he said ‘thanks'.

UjSizzle:
Nigerians are capable of following tradition without understanding its purpose.

You were taught to thank your parents because they provided the meal-- money, cooking, serving etc.

You're in your house and the MIL is visiting. Why should you thank her for a food you provided for? She should be the one thanking you.

Please educate your wife a little. We shouldn't follow traditions blindly.

eyinjuege:


Now I understand...
It's a cultural thing. If that's their culture and he's an Igbo man, I guess he can follow it. But if he's another tribe, it probably sounds strange, and in the OPs case annoying

I think most cultures in Nigeria share that norm, unless the Op is from the west.

BellaElla:


Yes it's proper.
When we were growing up, we were taught that you should thank the elderly ones in the room after eating. I still do that to anyone that is older than me when I eat. I am igbo by the way.

not jst an elderly one,d provider of d meal

nnamdibig:
No it is not, and it is also not right to brush your teeth when you wake up or maybe after eating.
It is also not right to clean your bom bom after pooing.

Respect for elders no dey ur dictionary?

Wrong example!!!

Okay, let's relate your examples;
-Brushing your teeth after eating is the THANK YOU so it can be active when next you want to eat or for chewing the food well.

-Cleaning your bum bum is to tell it THANK YOU for making the poo pass through it!

Now, should the thank you to the MAIL be for giving him the daughter as a wife?

It doesn't really matter who serve the food, what matter is respect.

daretodiffer:
MIL is there to help them. Also, she is older. It won't cost him anything nor would it bring disrespect if he said ‘thanks'.

Since she is older why thank her after eating only? I hate half half things! He should also thank her after drinking water, sleeping, sh*tting sef na! If he wants to thank her, maybe when she is going he can say "thank ma" with his mouth and by giving her money and gifts!

Not after every meal you will be telling her "thank ma"! Some people here even said after his MIL finish eating he should say "thank ma" too! Ahn ahn make una dey use una sense jor!

Yea, it is proper to do that, i do that. Thus, its no biggie

My friend! Say thank ma as a sign of respect and move on. Drop that nonsense pride. Your wife would say same to your mother if she came visiting even though your mother didn't give her the food.

All these boys asking you 'what for' are not even married and are an uncultured bunch as someone earlier said. Kids everywhere. To think that you even had to come online to ask such a silly question shows you are not even mature enough to be married.
If you call her mummy for example, does it mean she's your mother? This is what happens when society pressures people who should still be in diapers into getting married. They end up behaving like spoilt brats like this man here. Mtcheeewww!

No one is saying that he should say that all the time. Mama cooked the meal. Saying ‘thanks' once in a while is going to hurt no one

LesbianBoy:


Since she is older why thank her after eating only? I hate half half things! He should also thank her after drinking water, sleeping, sh*tting sef na! If he wants to thank her, maybe when she is going he can say "thank ma" with his mouth and by giving her money and gifts!

Not after every meal you will be telling her "thank ma"! Some people here even said after his MIL finish eating he should say "thank ma" too! Ahn ahn make una dey use una sense jor!

for me, I used to tell my wife thank you after a good meal. so tell her mother thank you ma is no big deal

Is normal in ibo culture, let's see it in other sense you thank ur MIL for teaching her daughter how to cook very well (not every women are optioned to do so).

ewizard1:

Wrong example!!!

Okay, let's relate your examples;
-Brushing your teeth after eating is the THANK YOU so it can be active when next you want to eat or for chewing the food well.

-Cleaning your bum bum is to tell it THANK YOU for making the poo pass through it!

Now, should the thank you to the MAIL be for giving him the daughter as a wife?

Lol,
May be my culture is different from your. In my part of the world, you are expected to greet elders when you wake up or after a meal(not that they must be the one that provided the meal). It's just a sign of respect.
Nothing more.

Saying thank you ma/sir was based on the elder or parents been appreciated for providing the food.

Thanking your Mil after food you provided in your own house is pretty uncalled for. I won't do it.If you do it then it will be for what? That your wife sef.Why is she even suggesting it to you.If your Mil prepared the food then saying Thanks ma is necessary.

I honour and respect my parents but if they visited my house and they are served food, I won't tell them thank ma or thank sir, much less my Mil. Just not necessary but I would do it if I was in their home and my mom prepared the food.Offcourse I must say Thanks ma.

daretodiffer:
No one is saying that he should say that all the time. Mama cooked the meal. Saying ‘thanks' once in a while is going to hurt no one

The OP didn't state that it is the MIL that cooked the meal o!

Btw its his wife duty to cook his meal, if she decides to involve her mother......fine!

Its none of the husband's business!

Duty ko duty no

LesbianBoy:


The OP didn't state that it is the MIL that cooked the meal o!

Btw its his wife duty to cook his meal, if she decides to involve her mother......fine!

Its none of the husband's business!

[s][/s]

Acheron:
Some of you are mad. Say thank you ma because she's older? What did she contribute to the making of the food that I should be thanking her?. Even if it were my own Mother, why should I thank her after eating the food that was prepared with my own money?

Religion, culture and this backward thinking that elders are always right are the reasons why Africa is developmentally stagnant.

Una go dey alright. Tm

[s][/s]

They are known by their fruits. You even had to begin with an insult. Now everyone knows how you were raised.

daretodiffer:
Duty ko duty no

Don't tell me you are one of those stubborn girls?

So whose duty is it to cook for the family? The husband?

[s][/s]

UjSizzle:
Nigerians are capable of following tradition without understanding its purpose.

You were taught to thank your parents because they provided the meal-- money, cooking, serving etc.

You're in your house and the MIL is visiting. Why should you thank her for a food you provided for? She should be the one thanking you.

Please educate your wife a little. We shouldn't follow traditions blindly.

[s][/s]

Oliver Twist, welcome. Are you through, great interpreter of culture? Remove the spec in your eyes first, madam.

as for me in my family o, we say thank you God, and if i am in my in laws house i say thank you but in my house i kiss my wife shikena

Number one is that you are not respectful. Meanwhile, you expect your wife to treat your own mother with respect. We all have mothers, you love your mother and I love mine. So, any how you treat my mother will determine how I'll treat yourself. Period

What does stubbornness have to do with this now?

Whoever has the time

LesbianBoy:


Don't tell me you are one of those stubborn girls?

So whose duty is it to cook for the family? The husband?