Extend your reach ability. Make comments on Facebook. Snap good pictures. Be nice at offices and churches. Render assistance as much as you can to guys offline. I am sure someone will like you and like your child

Be proud to lie in your bed the way you made it.Your baby should be as sweet as the sex you had.

Collins0609:
It has noting to b been a boy or man.i dont like this,is dat i dont like dis,some men marry single mothers,others dont.she must have now or in d past been with a guy who is ready to marry her with her baby daughter but d guy does not measure up to her or she simply dont like him nor d guy do not make her light up with butterflies.marriage is not a compromise.marry a single mother can help one have a better home than marrying an abortionist.dat others does not put up with something does not make them a child.after all she is at fault by getting pregnant.y dont she simply marry her baby daddy or choose to wait for a man dat will accept her.women will like a man to marry her with her flaw and must put up with her attitude,while no lady want to marry a struggling guy or date a guy that other lady dont feel attractive,later dey claim dat men cheat on them

I quite agree u with u though, you have a point! it's her fault from the outset..she will get who's her..I think patience is the key word

chiomababy22:
I had a child 8 years ago. Ever since then, having a long lasting relationship is a big problem because they leave me with the excuse of my child been an issue. My last relationship has left me shattered and the last thing i want to do is deny my baby. Am confused pls friends what do you advise i do? Am not getting any younger. Thanks as i await you comments.

can I date you?

Acidosis:


Humans generally love lies and there's a likelihood that majority would dislike an honest man, one who spill nothing but facts without unnecessary sugar-coating.

We also have another set of humans, these ones love to run away from reality, only to embrace the sugar-coated talks of idealists. Ideas are fine, for example ideas from people telling the OP to make money. Imagine telling an already devastated 30+ year old(?) lady, who has struggled since graduation, to make money. What kind of money can she probably make in this desperate time much more than what a single and searching Genevieve Nnaji has made in her lifetime?
Money is absolutely good and more money? Great, but who is going to make the money for her?

Making more money may sound like an easy way to attract a man (bad or good man), but it remains the fastest root to damnation, since the foundation is bad.

Whoever truly loves this lady will tell her the basic truth, without necessarily attaching damnable suggestion.

@OP, I would advise you to remain single and love your baby, than make some imaginary money to attract an i m b e c i l e in the name of finding an husband.

OP, if you must make money desperately, it is better to do desperate things (olosho), and use the yields to take good care of yourself and your child. That sounds better and much more greater than struggling for money only to spend the yields on pampers and napkins for a 'husband'.

I'm not encouraging bad and desperate actions, but pleaseee, that you're not married shouldn't make you embrace c.r.azy ideas. You're not alone in this struggle.

Wooooow... Bros you're indeed a realist

TonyeBarcanista:
I know but subjecting him to ridicule is off it

You wanna make me feel bad now eh... nawa o. pls go back to politics section biko

chiomababy22:
I had a child 8 years ago. Ever since then, having a long lasting relationship is a big problem because they leave me with the excuse of my child been an issue. My last relationship has left me shattered and the last thing i want to do is deny my baby. Am confused pls friends what do you advise i do? Am not getting any younger. Thanks as i await you comments.

I would borrow and modify the words of Tyrion Lannister, "whatever you think is your weakness (existence of your child in this case), wear it like an armour wherever you go, and it will never be used to hurt you."

In essence, never hide the existence of your child, the men would find out anyway, and would be very disappointed that you lied, and would not act like the child dont exist. So wherever you go, your child should be your first mention, a lot of Nigerian men aren't comfortable getting married to single mums; sometimes even when the men dont mind, their family becomes a stumbling block. A friend of mine just called this morning telling me his dad has bluntly refused him marrying a girl he loves all because she has a child.

But then, there are a few men who wouldnt mind (minority), so in order to save yourself the heartbreak and heart ache, wear your child like an armour and you will more easily attract the right kind of men that don't mind.

cyril700:
my brother we r in this together mine even moved into my apartment , it took wisdom for me to be able to send her out. I don't Want her to feel bad too and think m leaving coz of d child.

na so my bro, women with kids are no no for me. Wisemen dont do that, i think about the future not the presence.

mamatwiny:
I had a cousin/close friend with almost same issue. Hers is worse cos she married, gave birth to a son, then left the marriage. She said she was deceived. When she had similar issue cos she was married and even wedded+ after one, she sent the baby boy back to the fathers family.
She fell in love with another guy and didn't tell the guy.When the guy proposed, she told the guy part of the story, but not full. D guy told her he is already in love and can't go back. Immediately the guy came for introduction, the girl took in for him sharp sharp. By the time d guy got the indept jist, he couldn't go back cos she was already carrying the baby. They are happily married with 3 kids. The babe also checks on the first son from time to time.

Nb- she also wedded the 2nd guy in church....so I attended both her first and 2nd wedding...

That one na yahoo yahoo o... lol... your girl no gree slack sha


the guy will be like.... "I don enter one chance but I no get another choice"

enshi:


Sexy... I thought had each other 's handle.. You should have asked in private thou...

Well we have been having issues caused by that addiction and it is lingering....

But sincerely Nma27, you and i should be ashamed of our selves that we aint Friends yet on whatsapp or fb... We are too friendly to be meeting just here.. My thought sha

My dear the issue of do changing is just too flimsy and minute to be d reason behind you having problems in your relsp... Lolz you are funny, there's nofin to b ashamed of

chiomababy22:
I had a child 8 years ago. Ever since then, having a long lasting relationship is a big problem because they leave me with the excuse of my child been an issue. My last relationship has left me shattered and the last thing i want to do is deny my baby. Am confused pls friends what do you advise i do? Am not getting any younger. Thanks as i await you comments.

NEVER hide the truth cos when it comes back to hunt and taunt you, the outcome will be devastating.

You have to start dating matured men. If you've kept your sanity and pride since your first child, I don't see another issues there.

I've dated single ladies and I'm currently dating a lady with a child - it's not a disease. The first thing she told was that she has a son. But I've seen qualities in her before then. So it doesn't change anything. She's even more modest than te singles I've dated.
It's a matter of how you've been able to pick yourself up and rebrand yourself.

I'm a product of this, got similar story to yours.......Let's have a private chat or call......reach me on 08164626680

I agree with majority that have spoken earlier, no repetition, don't deny. don't hide

golddust6000:
she entagle me o. As i type she is even chatting with me now, but i'm fourty thousand km away from her. When i came to nigeria she came to visit me in my hotel room, she very beautiful, she is a cabonecopy of stephanie okereke, but her beauty no move me at all.

Well, a girl can only hope. You led her on biko, I'm sure she didn't guess ur hotel and room number. lemme stop there.

Nma27:
You wanna make me feel bad now eh... nawa o. pls go back to politics section biko

You want deny me of my freedom abi?

Your Momma must hear this

Nutase:
Go back to politics section before we stone you comot for here.

Chilax babe, you can also use political experience to solve romantic issues.

As per OP you may want to consider men who are single parents too, they would value your worth as an experienced mother rather than bachelors who see single mothers as a burden before marriage and have so many 'fresh' ladies seeking their attention. Just remain a good lady and your mr right will locate you soon and accept you and your child lovingly

It only means u haven't seen someone who truly loves you for you although in this our clime, alot of sentiments are thrown in the picture when issues like this arise.. Love is a commitment and not a feeling. They cannot say what the child will become tomorrow.. Never hide the truth from anyone you are in a relationship with and apply wisdom while letting it known, ensure you're into each other to an extent

Truth alwayz have one big problem, which is bitterness, but i alwayz preferred the bitter truth to cook and flourish lies that pleased some ears

TonyeBarcanista:
Will you allow your son to marry an "after 1"?

The question may be harsh but that is necessary to answer you.

The truth remains that as an "after 1", your choices are limited as most Naija young men can't put up with marrying a single mother, the few that can are in their super minority.

My advice is that you should take care of your girl and stay good. What is yours shall be yours

Good question.Some people would always want to eat their cake and still wish to have it.

chiomababy22:
I had a child 8 years ago. Ever since then, having a long lasting relationship is a big problem because they leave me with the excuse of my child been an issue. My last relationship has left me shattered and the last thing i want to do is deny my baby. Am confused pls friends what do you advise i do? Am not getting any younger. Thanks as i await you comments.

I'll take you and your baby in.

Everyone is entitled to at least one fuckup in their lives.

Those men leaving you, only god knows the kind of skeletons in their proverbial cupboard.

Just hang in there....they weren't right for you anyway.

No man is worth more than your own child.

well said! had a friend who had a son,men treated her with disdain broken relationships here and there cos of her child,but as soon as she won US visa lottery and left for the US men in Niaja started promising marriage like hell

WORLDPEACE:


Humans are liars. This is true with both sexes. We are like icebergs that you see in the ocean; What is under the water is more than the part you see floating. Women may say that they want a guy who is God fearing, polite and all that but the single most important factor is what the man owns materially. This is often not what the most decent girls project but it is the single most important factor. This is not the visible to all at first glance but a man neglects it at his own peril.

Now you must sell yourself like a man would. Go out there and get money if you don't already have. Be successful and you will become attractive to men, both rich and broke guys. Then you will have to take your pick from these men. Don't hate the roles reversal, just accept it for what it is. People care about what other people will say than about their own personal happiness. FRIENDS AND RELATIVES WOULD FIND IT MORE RATIONAL THAT THEIR LOVED ONE IS MARRYING A SUCCESSFUL MOTHER OF ONE THAN A KIND HEARTED MOTHER OF ONE. They will give other surface explanations to people for why they like you but the larger part of the iceberg under water says something else. You will do yourself great good by accepting this reality.

Of course you may be fortunate and find that great dream man that is not drawn by this but it's better to ready yourself for it. You are more likely also to be married to a single parent like yourself so look for ways to meet such ones. I am not trying to paint a picture of doom and gloom, I am just showing the fastest route to your goal.
Lastly, I want to say that it is not a bad thing for a man to get married to a woman because of her money among other things. It is only bad if that is the only reason. In other words it is only bad when a bad man marries a woman for her money.
I wish you success soon.

Bigsteveg:


Hope we can get to talk better. try reach me on 08095300265. a text will do

It's like you want to give her the second one.

Truth alwayz have one big problem which is bitterness, but i preferred the bitter truth to cook and flourish lies that pleased some ears.

Dyt:
Nawa ooo
I can't even believe a mother will think of denying her child cos cheap silly men are leaving her
Orisirisi

Pls change your circle of men and don't fall for society pressure

The way you ladies reason and talk at times could be so irritating and annoying. You are referring to men who made their choices, as cheap and silly because they refused to go further with a woman who has a child for someone else; how intelligent does that sound? Must they be forced to accept her and the baby? Does the child not have a father? Not everyone is interested in getting caught up in a web they aren't comfortable with. Women being who they are (unpredictable) can wake up one day and start getting close to the ex and that would start creating issues for the new man. As much as I do not view single mothers as condemned, I also do not think anybody should be angry with a man who doesn't want such. The best set of people she should attempt dating, are people in her own kind of situation. Calling single men who refuse to go further with her, cheap and silly, is not just a selfish way of reasoning, but a very silly one. The child did not drop from the sky and there is a reason why the father of the child is not with the mother. Not everyone is interested in such details cos whatever happens between two people, only two of them would know. The woman might not speak the truth and not everybody has the strength for such...

chiomababy22:
I had a child 8 years ago. Ever since then, having a long lasting relationship is a big problem because they leave me with the excuse of my child been an issue. My last relationship has left me shattered and the last thing i want to do is deny my baby. Am confused pls friends what do you advise i do? Am not getting any younger. Thanks as i await you comments.

Use ur baby as a determinant of who really is coming into your life to stay and give you the love and peace you crave for.
Hiding her makes no sense.
Don't mind ur age, ur status as single mother has made the difference. you are not alone.

It's certain they would change after having enough of u...... u need someone dat'll love ur baby cos dats most imperative

To guard yourself from emotional harrasment tell anyone you are about to date you have a child so you wont be dumped after you start a relationship.

chiomababy22:
I had a child 8 years ago. Ever since then, having a long lasting relationship is a big problem because they leave me with the excuse of my child been an issue. My last relationship has left me shattered and the last thing i want to do is deny my baby. Am confused pls friends what do you advise i do? Am not getting any younger. Thanks as i await you comments.

You can't deny your child, it may come back to haunt your marriage in future.
But may be, and may be you're dating the wrong type of men. Wrong type like men that have never had child(ren), never married, younger than you. Just my assumptions.
Why not try divorced, widower or baby daddy? The serious type and God fearing one.

blackedwin:
well said! had a friend who had a son,men treated her with disdain broken relationships here and there cos of her child,but as soon as she won US visa lottery and left for the US men in Niaja started promising marriage like hell

That's just humans for you. She needs to have more options and being successful will give her that.

dapsoneh:
she neither said 'daughter or Son' so. Why did u say she shouldn't deny her? Or do u knoow her

. . . . . i do my research before i comment bro, I DONT JUST COMMENT!!! The daughter is a girl!!!