Acidosis:


Bro, you deserve to be worried, pained and confused. Don't allow any hypocrite make you feel like you're imhumane.

Whether it happened 1000 years ago, it doesn't matter. If these folks found out that their ex slept with a dog some 50 years ago, they would still find a way to show their dissatisfaction to the said ex.

If I were in your shoes, I would be devastated as well.. It doesn't matter whether she confessed or I discovered myself.. the knowledge of what happened is all it takes to get one pained, so don't feel stu p!d or heartless.

Now to the real issue, I think you're worried that the said relationship with her cousin might continue even after a proper wedding with you. Whether you like it or not, you would henceforth feel insecure to have that cousin close and alone with your woman. Nobody welcomes such, except of course, the online "e-doesn't matter" e-pocrites.

The big question is: do you love your woman? Yes, right? Love is one aspect, do you trust your woman? Note, anybody can love, but trust is expensive. You have to be sure you trust her 100%.

Having said that, it's time to get your mind off the relationship with her cousin. It would be difficult but you have to try.

If you discover however at any point that moving on would be difficult, gently back out! This is marriage, not a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. You will continue to meet her cousin, he will attend your wedding and probably offer you a handshake... Can you bear it?

Other days, he will stop by at your house when you're not around to say hi. Yes, it is true you now trust your wife, but do you trust the guy enough to share the same remorse with your wife? Has he repented and moved on?

My respect goes to your woman though. That's one hell of a secret 99.9% of her fellow will take to the grave. She has done her part... Now can you do yours? If your answer is yes, go ahead and marry her.

o's man, u deserve a first class certificate for this. It actually happened to me. In this case, the cousin stayed abroad and every time he comes home, I no dey sleep for night with thoughts of what could be happening at night since he stays in the family house too with nobody suspecting their movements

MIB1:


My worry is that , this is incest

it doesn't matter if I was incest or not, what matters is the fact that she was very honest to tell you, if she didn't trust you I don't think you'll ever know.....so forget about what happened in the past! You love her and she loves you....abeg don't allow her cousin to come in between...go ahead and marry her and forget about the poo..

@op if u ever thinking of backing out kindly hook me up with her. I have been looking for a woman to have total openness with and I av been disappointed over and over again..the truth we all av some crazy deepest secret, and it takes the bold mind to come out.abeg I dey wait for u ooo

MIB1:


Long before we met .. About 6 yrs ago

Maybe pained is not.the right word

I'm just scared of the spiritual aspect like curses or something besides I know I will never have any good relationship with that cousin of hers

where's it written that cousins can't marry that having a relationship is already killing you?

AstuteJay:


[s]Make no mistake about this brother, your woman made a smart move by telling you upfront. The relationship might be an open secret in her family and the fear it might eventually leak to you made her tell you upfront.

It happened just once........ Never fall for that crap! It must have happened a couple of times before they were caught and might happen again and again.

I had a similar experience; she told me upfront an uncle "raped" her, she got pregnant, it was aborted and all that. I was moved by her sincerity and took her to the altar. I eventually got to know she consented to it and it happened so many times! The fear it might get leaked to me overtime made her tell me upfront. The uncle was late before we met though, but mere thought of the affair is a bitter pill till tomorrow.

You may feel it doesn't matter now but 30 years from now, you might still be feeling bad about it.

Make a better choice![/s]

RUBBISH POST

Ask yourself - will you take advice from young boys and girls? Or from grown men with years of experience with women.

Make no mistake @op, your fiancee told you because she wanted to pass the burden to you. Worked well so far. She's probably sleeping soundly while you obsess over this issue.
You have to understand that women in these parts are inherently selfish and until you get a life for yourself, they will continually dump rubbish on you.
Imagine if you were a busy guy, busy with work and living a good well rounded life, sure you will want to marry but it would just be another facet of your multicolored life. So this 'revelation' wouldn't be devastating - assuming you even got to this stage with such a manipulative woman in the first place.

This is the first of many 'secrets'. Brace up. Gon be a rollercoaster ride.

Well sorry to say but a curse is upon her may be childlessness or early widowhood whatever it is if you marry her you guys will carry the curse together. My elder brother slept with our female relative he has since married twice but no issue from any of the women. Though the first wife remarried and had four kids. So the choice is yours.

BiggyBamBam:


That's why Hausas/Fulanis behave like animals and no value for life.
Do you want his children to have that demonic spirit?

How can you say Hausas/Fulani behave like animals... it's really derogatory and you should desist from saying so.
Besides your argument is wrong, illogical and cannot be substantiated scientifically

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

Nothing to fear bro. Marry that girl. She loves you. There is nothing like any curse. God has forgiven her. Try to get along with the cousin too, if need be. Cheers.

[url=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUOxFtniRmo][/url]

You need time apart from her for as long as you can let go. If you feel you can't be happy without her then take her back. Then will you know you genuinely love her and she's the only woman you want to be with.

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

bros, if u really love ur woman just forgive n forget d sincere confession she made 2 u. some people have done worst DAT they can never in life b proud 2 confess 2 God more or less a human being. 6 yrs is a long time n may b she did DAT out of ignorance as a teenager. there is a saying DAT a bird at hand is better than d thousands in d bush, so is better u know now than later. God bless.

LeView1:
I guess this is cultural differences. I don't believe a cousin is incest so I can't advice you on it other than to say, forgiveness is the only solution.

Please respect my understanding and don't argue my truth with me.

. Exactly. Like in Islam, It's permissible for one to marry one's cousin. So I can't actually tag that to be Incest

MIB1:


I love her , trust her , and still want to marry her . But how do I move past this and forge ahead .

I seriously go with what acidosis said.

MIB1:


I love her , trust her , and still want to marry her . But how do I move past this and forge ahead .

You might need to relocate, take her pretty far away, like out of the country where that cousin can't come say Hi

on thought that she has repented on it & it's no longer going on with d said causin, u Have got nothing to fear. probably, d causin too has repented of d act.

Spiritual implication depends on if it's still going on unrepented, so I think. some people have actually committed that act out of ignorance, it also determine d implications. that I don't know the case with your woman & her causin (were they ignorant of it? why did they do it?)

u have got to ensure that they both, (NOT ONLY your wife to be) have TRUELY repented of it & won't do it again.
for me truth be told, that she told u told that is not a reason u should trust her like God. you can still disappointed. remember, trust only God your maker.

I'm not advising u to go or not to go. put many things into consideration, pray & listen to yourself, then follow ur heart.
I can just say that d fear of d implication of d act (spiritual or otherwise) shouldn't be your worry. so I think brother.
I wish you luck! Good one!

MIB1
please go with the below quoted advice.
We all have flaws, the most important thing is that we should be willing to admit and correct these flaws.
Life is a continuous learning and improvement process.

Majikals:
You are a lucky man finding such an honest spouse... She has confessed her errors before her maker and even you. Go ahead with your marriage with her cos she's a good woman. We have all made terrible errors at some point in life. Only a scarce few are bold enough to confess his /her deepest errors the way ur fiancee just did.
About the spiritual implications u are kinda worried about, if truly you are a Christian as u rightly said, I believe the Bible says he /she that confesses and believe is redeemed..You have nothing to fear

OP,truth is you are not ready for marriage. Take it or leave it.
Most hypocrites here have done worse than your fiancee but they are advicing you to leave her.
Moral of the story: Some secrets are better left untold.

It's up to you to decide, whether you want to continue the relationship.

Don't make her regret being honest to u she is a good person not everybody can confined such to her man ur lucky Bro u beta rush down and come and marry her before someone dat knows the values over take u

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

Incest aka in breeding is a taboo, if u can't deal with dt her past call it off

Hausa/Fulanis marry their cousins. Dont Fret

Joavid:
This thread is a lesson. never do things you will regret or that will jeopardise your future.

I'm wondering though, why someone would sleep with their cousin.

You know this is impossible right?

Acidosis:


Bro, you deserve to be worried, pained and confused. Don't allow any hypocrite make you feel like you're imhumane.

Whether it happened 1000 years ago, it doesn't matter. If these folks found out that their ex slept with a dog some 50 years ago, they would still find a way to show their dissatisfaction to the said ex.

If I were in your shoes, I would be devastated as well.. It doesn't matter whether she confessed or I discovered myself.. the knowledge of what happened is all it takes to get one pained, so don't feel stu p!d or heartless.

Now to the real issue, I think you're worried that the said relationship with her cousin might continue even after a proper wedding with you. Whether you like it or not, you would henceforth feel insecure to have that cousin close and alone with your woman. Nobody welcomes such, except of course, the online "e-doesn't matter" e-pocrites.

The big question is: do you love your woman? Yes, right? Love is one aspect, do you trust your woman? Note, anybody can love, but trust is expensive. You have to be sure you trust her 100%.

Having said that, it's time to get your mind off the relationship with her cousin. It would be difficult but you have to try.

If you discover however at any point that moving on would be difficult, gently back out! This is marriage, not a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. You will continue to meet her cousin, he will attend your wedding and probably offer you a handshake... Can you bear it?

Other days, he will stop by at your house when you're not around to say hi. Yes, it is true you now trust your wife, but do you trust the guy enough to share the same remorse with your wife? Has he repented and moved on?

My respect goes to your woman though. That's one hell of a secret 99.9% of her fellow will take to the grave. She has done her part... Now can you do yours? If your answer is yes, go ahead and marry her.

May your source of wisdom never be empty forever.

Thank God she opened up to you. As for the spiritual consequence ... are you a Christian, if yes discuss with your Pastor and he will tell you what to do

MIB1:


I love her , trust her , and still want to marry her . But how do I move past this and forge ahead .

If you want to, go ahead and do it. Marriage is about accepting the good, the bad and the ugly in a person. (Since she confided in you, make sure you don't use it against her in future. )
You have to talk to her about your fears. It will go a long way to help.

Bro pls don't let anything shake your mind since she has confessed to you and said she had prayed and seek for God's forgiveness that shows she is not going back to that mess so move on what of if you are not told.

Acidosis:


Bro, you deserve to be worried, pained and confused. Don't allow any hypocrite make you feel like you're imhumane.

Whether it happened 1000 years ago, it doesn't matter. If these folks found out that their ex slept with a dog some 50 years ago, they would still find a way to show their dissatisfaction to the said ex.

If I were in your shoes, I would be devastated as well.. It doesn't matter whether she confessed or I discovered myself.. the knowledge of what happened is all it takes to get one pained, so don't feel stu p!d or heartless.

Now to the real issue, I think you're worried that the said relationship with her cousin might continue even after a proper wedding with you. Whether you like it or not, you would henceforth feel insecure to have that cousin close and alone with your woman. Nobody welcomes such, except of course, the online "e-doesn't matter" e-pocrites.

The big question is: do you love your woman? Yes, right? Love is one aspect, do you trust your woman? Note, anybody can love, but trust is expensive. You have to be sure you trust her 100%.

Having said that, it's time to get your mind off the relationship with her cousin. It would be difficult but you have to try.

If you discover however at any point that moving on would be difficult, gently back out! This is marriage, not a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. You will continue to meet her cousin, he will attend your wedding and probably offer you a handshake... Can you bear it?

Other days, he will stop by at your house when you're not around to say hi. Yes, it is true you now trust your wife, but do you trust the guy enough to share the same remorse with your wife? Has he repented and moved on?

My respect goes to your woman though. That's one hell of a secret 99.9% of her fellow will take to the grave. She has done her part... Now can you do yours? If your answer is yes, go ahead and marry her.

God bless u sir. Well said

2 telll u d truth, t will be hard 4 u can c an honest spouse, she told u wat u suppose 2 hear nd she has prayed abt t nd u also av don d same, so guy pls i beg u in d name of God....#BELIEVE#

Eleganza33:
lol

OK love this....

Let's see if he will pass.. .

MIB1:


Long before we met .. About 6 yrs ago

Maybe pained is not.the right word

I'm just scared of the spiritual aspect like curses or something besides I know I will never have any good relationship with that cousin of hers

She did the right thing, you should be grateful. She has shown that she has overcome her past, thus you need to be grateful.
"If any man be in Christ, He is a new creation. Old things are past and all have become new."
She has been forgiven and restored.
No curse of the law and of Satan can prevail; Jesus has broken every chain and delivered Her.

Move on and be grateful to God for his mercy upon her life. God bless you.

Richy4:
Since you are into spiritual stuffs,let's visit the Bible a bit OP shall we?

Choose the correct answer and fill in the blank spaces.

Abraham married ___ [A. Sister, B. Brother, C. Cousin, D. Step sister]

Isaac Married____ [A. Brother, B. cousin, C. half sister, D. Mother]

If the son of God sets you free, you are free ____ [A. indeed, B. a little C. Half way, D. a bit]

Behold old things has passed away, every thing is___ [A. Old, B New, C. None of the above, D. All of the Above]

If you confess your sin, he is faithful and just to cleanse you from All unrighteousness including incest... [ True or False]

NOTE: All question carries equal marks.. you are advised to spend 2mins for each question

Lolz...