Alariwo2:


cos you muslims do it doesn't make it proper

Any form of carnal knowledge with an immediate family member is considered incest

Shawlambivert:
. Exactly. Like in Islam, It's permissible for one to marry one's cousin. So I can't actually tag that to be Incest

It's ridiculous people are saying it is permissible in Islam. If Hausas do it doesn't mean it is Islamic. We should learn more on the differences between culture and religion.

@kratoss please prove me wrong because your own Islam might be different from mine. Read below verses from the Quran. From my understanding, sexual affairs with blood relations are forbidden.

4:22. And marry not those women whom your fathers had married, except what had already passed (- you shall not be called to account for what you did in the past, only you have to divorce them now); for it is a thing highly indecent and repugnant and an evil practice.

4:23. Forbidden to you (for marriage) are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunts, and your maternal aunts, and the daughters of a brother, and the daughters of a sister, and your (foster) mothers who have given suck to you, and your foster sisters, and the mothers of your wives, and your stepdaughters who are being brought up under your care and have been born of your wives (by their former husbands,) unto whom you have gone in, but if you have not gone in unto them (- their mothers), then there is no blame on you (in marrying their daughters), and the wives of your sons who are from your own loins; and (it is forbidden to you) to keep in wedlock two sisters (at one and the same time), except what has already passed, (you have to divorce one of them). Surely, Allâh is Most Protector (against faults), Ever Merciful.

Hmmm

MIB1:


Long before we met .. About 6 yrs ago

Maybe pained is not.the right word

I'm just scared of the spiritual aspect like curses or something besides I know I will never have any good relationship with that cousin of hers

curses feed on ur fears.....when u have Jesus and the prophets and above all God...what else do u want....love d poor girl and make her happy...she deserves kudos 4 opening up

Majikals:
You are a lucky man finding such an honest spouse... She has confessed her errors before her maker and even you. Go ahead with your marriage with her cos she's a good woman. We have all made terrible errors at some point in life. Only a scarce few are bold enough to confess his /her deepest errors the way ur fiancee just did.
About the spiritual implications u are kinda worried about, if truly you are a Christian as u rightly said, I believe the Bible says he /she that confesses and believe is redeemed..You have nothing to fear

You are a wise man!

And you bring your problem come NL. SMH. GO TALK TO A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT INSTEAD.

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

She talks too much! That info was quite unnecessary. Immediately u become born again, you are free. As long as she has been forgiven by God and washed of the blood, no curse will stand my dear. Its all gone. Pretend like it didn't happen and go on with the plans.. Its really nothing.

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

U need resetting..... i dont get you. She confined in you and ou decided to bring it on this platform?? thats a break of trust. would you have prefered that she kept it secret from you? stop acting!!! either you continue with the relationship or you move on....

For the incest part I think its based on cultures there r cultures that encourage marriage btw cousins especially the hausa fulanis its nt unheard of for cousins to marry. Back to forgiveness if u see urself not being to forget abt it in d future then have a rethink about the marriage so u don't hold it over her wen u get married n keep rubbing it in her face wen any little misunderstanding happens. Well d decision is urs

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

This is the prb we are having this days, confess and be rejected, concede and be honored. u have to remove that bad feelings out of ur mind and move on with her, if u back off now, u have ruins her whole world. She trusted u before revealing her self to u not to be judge, but she wanted her conscience to be clean. Pls note that if people's past can be writing on their faces u won't be shaking hands with anyone. She is still better than those that murdered and keep mute.

Acidosis:


Bro, you deserve to be worried, pained and confused. Don't allow any hypocrite make you feel like you're imhumane.

Whether it happened 1000 years ago, it doesn't matter. If these folks found out that their ex slept with a dog some 50 years ago, they would still find a way to show their dissatisfaction to the said ex.

If I were in your shoes, I would be devastated as well.. It doesn't matter whether she confessed or I discovered myself.. the knowledge of what happened is all it takes to get one pained, so don't feel stu p!d or heartless.

Now to the real issue, I think you're worried that the said relationship with her cousin might continue even after a proper wedding with you. Whether you like it or not, you would henceforth feel insecure to have that cousin close and alone with your woman. Nobody welcomes such, except of course, the online "e-doesn't matter" e-pocrites.

The big question is: do you love your woman? Yes, right? Love is one aspect, do you trust your woman? Note, anybody can love, but trust is expensive. You have to be sure you trust her 100%.

Having said that, it's time to get your mind off the relationship with her cousin. It would be difficult but you have to try.

If you discover however at any point that moving on would be difficult, gently back out! This is marriage, not a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. You will continue to meet her cousin, he will attend your wedding and probably offer you a handshake... Can you bear it?

Other days, he will stop by at your house when you're not around to say hi. Yes, it is true you now trust your wife, but do you trust the guy enough to share the same remorse with your wife? Has he repented and moved on?

My respect goes to your woman though. That's one hell of a secret 99.9% of her fellow will take to the grave. She has done her part... Now can you do yours? If your answer is yes, go ahead and marry her.

How many times did she do it with the cousin ...of it is a one off thing that happened six years ago and she has been seeing that cousin without having a tumble in the hays then there inothimg to really worry from the end of the cousin.

Old things have passed away. If you want her you can move on from that

Please i would advise you to pray well sir...dont resopnd to spiritual experiences with physical answers o. You asked about the spiritual implications abi...? Well, in my own opinion, kindly seek spiritual counsel o. Please do the needful before you are joined.

Ask the Holy spirit heal your heart. She has prayed to God and she knows God has forgiven her. It is good she told you now before you found out later. The bible says Adam and Eve were both naked and were not ashamed. There should be no secret kept from you will be your spouse. If the person is meant to be your spouse, he or she will take you no matter how bad or worst your past may be. The bible says in 2Cor. 5:17 ....... old things are passed away and all becomes new.
Let your love for her covers everything and allow the Holy spirit fill your heart with unconditional love.
I'm sure she you can trust her and she will not hide anything from you till you both see Jesus. That is what love is.

wasolad01:




It's ridiculous people are saying it is permissible in Islam. If Hausas do it doesn't mean it is Islamic. We should learn more on the differences between culture and religion.

@kratoss please prove me wrong because your own Islam might be different from mine. Read below verses from the Quran. From my understanding, sexual affairs with blood relations are forbidden.

4:22. And marry not those women whom your fathers had married, except what had already passed (- you shall not be called to account for what you did in the past, only you have to divorce them now); for it is a thing highly indecent and repugnant and an evil practice.

4:23. Forbidden to you (for marriage) are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunts, and your maternal aunts, and the daughters of a brother, and the daughters of a sister, and your (foster) mothers who have given suck to you, and your foster sisters, and the mothers of your wives, and your stepdaughters who are being brought up under your care and have been born of your wives (by their former husbands,) unto whom you have gone in, but if you have not gone in unto them (- their mothers), then there is no blame on you (in marrying their daughters), and the wives of your sons who are from your own loins; and (it is forbidden to you) to keep in wedlock two sisters (at one and the same time), except what has already passed, (you have to divorce one of them). Surely, Allâh is Most Protector (against faults), Ever Merciful.

You quoted the quran and yet you fail to read and understand what is forbidden,... Can you please show me where it is stated that the kids of two brothers (first cousins) cannot get married from what you quoted from the quran above Go and add to ur knowledge please it is permissible in islam not hausa cuz m not even hausa... Maybe u dnt understand we are talking abt cousins not just any relative of urs... .

[url=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLyCJjThPMk][/url]

Deliverance is 50% Repentance.... Repentance starts the moment we come to terms with our wrongs and acknowledge the sin, then we go ahead and confess the said sin to God and Man where man is involved, then ask for forgiveness. We are clean as Christ the moment this is done genuinely..... However repentance is not real if we make a habit of the same sin, there should be discipline to desist and live Holy unto God.

She has confessed, sought forgiveness, repented and I believe has also cut ties with the said cousin. Apart from the fact that she may need to consciously break any covenant that illicit sex, incest in this case has got her into because sexual sins open people up to demons, she is free and good to be married


However, OP... I am a man, I am born again, I am human, I have emotions, if you can't bear it, please back out peacefully but protect her image. After the "I do's " are said, you are bound by God and His word to stay married. You are free to express your emotions which include sadness, anger, worry, etc now and take your decisions without duress or pity. If you want to go ahead and Marry, do so because you love her and have forgiven her and not because Nairalanders urged you to.
Take time out, postpone the wedding, nobody will die, go and seek God's Face on the matter, ask Him to help you, talk to Him like your " GUY " tell Him how you feel and how you are confused, don't act Macho for Him.

Call wife to be and ask her to go spend some time alone with God too and tell Him her heart and please ask her to tell you any other secret she thinks you should know otherwise let it remain buried till death.

By the way, I hope you guys have not been having sex....


God help you my brother..... It will end in praise!

Which time the thing happen, na when dem small abi na when dem don grow sabi something ? If na when dem don grow sabi something, me i go run oooooo...

That she opened up by herself risking ending the relationship, she is a gem, Please keep her. But i wont suggest you sweet it under the carpet. Try to discuss with a deliverance minister, infact if you dont mind my advise, find your way to MFM prayer city, I believe if you get it right straight from the onset, your marriage would be bed of roses. If you dont there might be more to this than just incest

whizqueen:

Baba le okan

lol. you've been busy these days abi..I hope you are fine?

You will Bros.

With time you'll find it in your heart to forgive the cousin. Hence you'll be able to forgive your Fiancee.
Try to build a good heart towards them and watch things work out well by God's mercy without any negative impact.

God be with you.

MIB1:


Long before we met .. About 6 yrs ago

Maybe pained is not.the right word

I'm just scared of the spiritual aspect like curses or something besides I know I will never have any good relationship with that cousin of hers

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

You be mumu... I am sorry to say this or call you this names... What rubbish?
Tell us how many times you have had sex with some of your beautiful cousins in your imagination. Or you think that is not incestuous? gerrrraaaaaat aaaaaarrrrrraaaat heerrrreeee biko...

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

it was a cousin not her father or brother,just see the dude as one of her ex

last35:
Let her go for deliverance so the curse hovering over her can be withdrawn... But posterity will still judge her

which curse?did she sleep with her dad?

t111:


You both can go for delivance in a delivance church coupled with fasting because def the spiritual implication still stands,an alter had been built on that regard so it has to be broken.

which spiritual implication?

Skimpledawg:

@ the bolded, my cousin has been professing love for me for a while now and when I asked her what she wanted out of such a relationship, she bluntly said sexx.

The way I ran for my dear life ehh, Bolt dey learn

It's just not right mehn

pass her number to me,i will help you give her the sex she really need

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

I don't understand why you are pained that your fiancée has incest years back probably before she met you, really you are not appreciating her honesty by doing this, have you confessed to her your baggages too?

wasolad01:




It's ridiculous people are saying it is permissible in Islam. If Hausas do it doesn't mean it is Islamic. We should learn more on the differences between culture and religion.

@kratoss please prove me wrong because your own Islam might be different from mine. Read below verses from the Quran. From my understanding, sexual affairs with blood relations are forbidden.

4:22. And marry not those women whom your fathers had married, except what had already passed (- you shall not be called to account for what you did in the past, only you have to divorce them now); for it is a thing highly indecent and repugnant and an evil practice.

4:23. Forbidden to you (for marriage) are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunts, and your maternal aunts, and the daughters of a brother, and the daughters of a sister, and your (foster) mothers who have given suck to you, and your foster sisters, and the mothers of your wives, and your stepdaughters who are being brought up under your care and have been born of your wives (by their former husbands,) unto whom you have gone in, but if you have not gone in unto them (- their mothers), then there is no blame on you (in marrying their daughters), and the wives of your sons who are from your own loins; and (it is forbidden to you) to keep in wedlock two sisters (at one and the same time), except what has already passed, (you have to divorce one of them). Surely, Allâh is Most Protector (against faults), Ever Merciful.

why are you trying to turn Islamic doctrine differently?
Point out where "cousin" is mentioned in the verse you mentioned above?

Pls check the dictionary ( lexical ) meaning of the word "Counsin".

why did you attribute this Hausa tradition?

Pls Islam encourages knowledge so try to know.

well like someone mentioned above ...its just this part of the world that such tinz are prohibited...
as for the spiritual side.. cant say much,she has confused to her maker and you...so go ahead....

even the great EINSTEIN who we all know...broke up with his wife....and later married his COUSIN...

Op, Shey after you don use am finish you wan dump am. Who you wan leave her for? Better marry her o otherwise..... anyways your thunder still de laboratory just in case

enomakos:
which spiritual implication?

Sorry sir been very busy and I wish I can. Shade more light on the implications now but I want you to read tru the book of Leviticua...e.g Leviticus 20:19-21 “it is well sir and God would take perfect control.
And you can also write me a mail omotolanifalana@gmail.com..then we can talk more and I might be of help sir..

MIB1:


Long before we met .. About 6 yrs ago

Maybe pained is not.the right word

I'm just scared of the spiritual aspect like curses or something besides I know I will never have any good relationship with that cousin of hers

but you believe in the bullshit story that said flooded everyone on earth except noah and his family who went on incest spree

There are cultures...., some religions ... OP, please does her culture and or religion permit such relationships? I don't know what age she was, what led her to it but from your explanations, she regrets it, she even fasted and prayed about it. There is no doubt here people crossed the line but the good thing is there is guilt and remorse.

What can we say, if you love her and you know she is a good woman, go ahead and marry her. Don't let her past choice of men get in your way of happiness. Don't take it too seriously. Life is too short for that. All the best!