Livie2016:
Hello,

Would really appreciate some words of advice please. I'm really sad. No judgmental posts posse.

I conceived my first child when I was dating my boyfriend, now husband and then we got married shortly after I fell pregnant. We had planned to get married even before I got pregnant but when I got pregnant, we then decided to bring the date forward. It was a very difficult period for me because my mum really made me feel bad. I repented to God from a heart of genuine sincerity and sought his forgiveness which I received by his grace. I fell short of the glory of God but God forgave me and had mercy on me.

Fast forward to a year plus after my wedding. My son is now 6 months and we would like to dedicate him in church. We have however been told that the church will not accept him for the regular dedication process where the parents dance out to the front of the church alongside close relatives and friends. What the church has said is that we can only do a private dedication service in a different room after the service. I'm devastated.


My son is innocent and pure. He was conceived from a sinful act but God has forgiven us. I've now been happily married to my husband and father of my child for more than a year. Is it therefore fair for the church to treat my son like he's an outcast and not worthy of being celebrated openly and publicly?


I feel so humiliated and wanted to cancel the dedication and do it in a church where h will be openly celebrated and received as a wonderful gift from God which my darling son is. My husband has accepted it but I'm struggling to do so. The church is supposed to be about love. What is the biblical basis for saying that my son cannot be pubclily dedicated?


Would really like some views here. Should I cancel the dedication and do it somewhere else or go ahead with the private/ secret dedication?

Many thanks for reading.

The Church of God are the true Worshippers of God all over the world. Don't get worked up about some people in one building or location. After all they aren't much holier.

The real dedication is dedicating time in letting your​ child know Christ and not be religious like them but be forgiving and love everyone.

Anyway, stop paying tithe, offering etc. If the Church can't forgive then they the ones going contrary to Christ.

It's so sad but this is why Church has lost Christianity

Marriage is between a man and a woman, you can marry yourselves in your room. which one is because i got pregnant so one cant married. some churches self, raise your child up and dedicate him/her to God. Once you are truly baptized and born again, you are a priest of God. Do you believe? Remember you are the one dedicating your child not the church.

Livie2016:
Hello,

Would really appreciate some words of advice please. I'm really sad. No judgmental posts posse.

I conceived my first child when I was dating my boyfriend, now husband and then we got married shortly after I fell pregnant. We had planned to get married even before I got pregnant but when I got pregnant, we then decided to bring the date forward. It was a very difficult period for me because my mum really made me feel bad. I repented to God from a heart of genuine sincerity and sought his forgiveness which I received by his grace. I fell short of the glory of God but God forgave me and had mercy on me.

Fast forward to a year plus after my wedding. My son is now 6 months and we would like to dedicate him in church. We have however been told that the church will not accept him for the regular dedication process where the parents dance out to the front of the church alongside close relatives and friends. What the church has said is that we can only do a private dedication service in a different room after the service. I'm devastated.


My son is innocent and pure. He was conceived from a sinful act but God has forgiven us. I've now been happily married to my husband and father of my child for more than a year. Is it therefore fair for the church to treat my son like he's an outcast and not worthy of being celebrated openly and publicly?


I feel so humiliated and wanted to cancel the dedication and do it in a church where h will be openly celebrated and received as a wonderful gift from God which my darling son is. My husband has accepted it but I'm struggling to do so. The church is supposed to be about love. What is the biblical basis for saying that my son cannot be pubclily dedicated?


Would really like some views here. Should I cancel the dedication and do it somewhere else or go ahead with the private/ secret dedication?

Many thanks for reading.

The church can not dedicate the child because to them he was conceived in sin but keeps on taking the offering and tithes of members that are sinners.
Na who Dem dey deceive, bunch of hypocrite.

For those who opted for closed door dedication by their own wish, it is ok.

The church does both and so if this lady wants an open one and they refuse, then it is discrimination.

eyinjuege:


I see nothing wrong in a closed door dedication.

I feel its more about the showmanship of the whole matter. You want to dance to the front, so people can congratulate you.

If you do a dedication in the sanctity of your home, just you and your husband, even without any pastor present, does it mean God won't accept your son as dedicated?

What discrimination is there? Is she better than those who opt for a closed door dedication for their child? ( some do it despite the child being conceived after marriage). Is it until they come out publicly before the child will be seen as dedicated to the Lord?
Everyone is talking of absolute discrimination. Even those that want to be 2nd wife will talk their own, those that are gay and want the church to join them will still talk their own.
There's no how any concerned party will not shout discrimination.
You want me (the church) to accept you for who you are, yet you want me (the church) to change myself, and stop being true to self. It is you who have unfortunately refused to accept me (the church) for who I am.

Mouthgag:

Shut up!
You're the bloody hypocrite.
According to the Bible, the child is a BASTARD!
THE CHURCH CAN'T CELEBRATE A BASTARD.

@ Mouthgag, my son is not a bastard, don't you ever refer to him as such. You weren't compelled to respond to my post, I posted this question to receive valuable and wise advice from people and not to be barraged by uncouth and crass remarks such as yours. My son is blessed and loved, he's happily being raised by me, his mother AND his father and we are married by the grace of God. Do not ever refer to my son as a bastard!

TinaAnita:


Dedicating a product of fornication is one sure way to support and encourage fornication and before you know it other defaulters would expect the same nice treatment

So dedicating a product of fornication doesn't mean anything to you? my dear leave the issue of love. What is wrong is wrong and what has to be done has to be done. It is what it is. Love and forgiveness are not enough reason for one not to serve certain punishment so as to serve as a deterrent to others

When you start to use offensive language such as " product of fornication" your point is lost. You're referring to a human being you know? A baby who has brought and continues to bring so much joy and happiness to our family. Try to convey your views in a less inflammatory manner- doesn't undermine your point. Yes, my child was conceived before marriage but he is a product of LOVE, happily being raised by a loving and committed couple ( my husband and I). Please don't speak of him as if he were dirt or filth.

I'd like to say thank you all for your responses, especially to those who made the effort to provide thoughtful, measured and wise responses. Thank you very much. I'm deeply grateful.

By way of update, we went ahead with the private dedication ceremony. I wasn't happy about it but I did it to honor my husband who pleaded with me to go ahead with it. He's less sentimental than I am and he's been a member of the church for a long time so really wanted our child to be dedicated in that church as opposed to another church ( which was my suggestion). The private dedication ceremony was conducted successfully in a private room after the service with our close family members in attendance. Afterwards we all went out for lunch at a restaurant and retired home afterwards.


However, the episode has caused me to reflect deeply on a lot of things, most especially Christianity and how it's applied and interpreted in some Nigerian churches. As christians we are called to emulate Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ was kind and compasionate. He wasn't bigoted or dogmatic nor sanctimonious, formalistic, ritualistic, prideful, hypocritical or judgmental. But do you know who was? The Pharisees. They were more concerned with an outwardly, superficial appearance of purity than genuine, inwardly piety. Unsurprisingly, Christ disliked and condemned the Pharisees. The next time you want to burry a person with vilification, pause for a minute and ask yourself if you're behaving "Christ-like". Christ was simply an embodiment of love and I don't see a lot of love and compassion being exhibited by many christians in Nigeria.


Make no mistake about it, what I've written above is by no means an attempt to exculpate myself of any blame or responsibility for any sins I've committed, it is simply an effort to encourage us all to respond to situations with love and tact rather than condemnation and judgment. I'm married to the father of my child, but imagine what single mothers have to go through daily? It's enough to drive someone to suicide.

In light of the above, Ive made a decision to change churches. I hold no grudge against the church for forcing me to dedicate my son privately, but I'm unable to reconcile the rationale of the church for doing so, with the essence of Christianity. So I've decided to move on. May God help us all in our daily endevaours and guide us to make the right decisions amen.

Livie2016:



@ Mouthgag, my son is not a bastard, don't you ever refer to him as such. You weren't compelled to respond to my post, I posted this question to receive valuable and wise advice from people and not to be barraged by uncouth and crass remarks such as yours. My son is blessed and loved, he's happily being raised by me, his mother AND his father and we are married by the grace of God. Do not ever refer to my son as a bastard!

Born out of wedlock
A BASTARD doesn't have any other name
Yolo

This is what we get when protecting the image of the church is what is made paramount and not the members

I won't go for that kind of dedication,I understand you well,it isn't about the dancing and the whole style that you're missing,it's about the condition attached to that kind of dedication. Also you don't have to leave the church,unless you want to keep leaving churches,it's a pity every church has its own excesses,but that is why you have to stay firm with God and build intimacy with Him,and you won't be brought under any rules whatsoever,you will worship there fine,but you will know when to draw the line about some things too.

Livie2016:



@ Mouthgag, my son is not a bastard, don't you ever refer to him as such. You weren't compelled to respond to my post, I posted this question to receive valuable and wise advice from people and not to be barraged by uncouth and crass remarks such as yours. My son is blessed and loved, he's happily being raised by me, his mother AND his father and we are married by the grace of God. Do not ever refer to my son as a bastard!

Ignore that idiot.

Chelseafan99:


Ignore that idiot.

Wù b dis ewu again?