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pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. - Literature - Nairaland

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pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Bibi294(f): 9:05pm On Mar 28, 2017
I wanna write a play!!! Tired of all this prosaic form of writing....
NOTE: No character in this play exists, there are all from the Playwright imagination

pul-PIT is a pure fictious play, it is not directed to anybody neither a church, pastor or to the congregations

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by souloho19(m): 9:06pm On Mar 28, 2017
Touchdown!!!!

1 Like

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by gtin(m): 9:37pm On Mar 28, 2017
Lemme pack here first and wait for her majesty BIBI the mighty
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Chumzypinky(f): 9:46pm On Mar 28, 2017
Madam... You're hardly ever consistent in Shadows of the Greens. Though we understand you're in the village. We understand that very well.
But, since you hardly update in one, why not wait till its completed before staring another? My humble opinion though. Meanwhile, kwantinue cos i'm loving this story more and more
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Nobody: 9:57pm On Mar 28, 2017
souloho19:
Touchdown!!!!
bros abeg help me to reserve a seat.i dey come
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Bibi294(f): 10:05pm On Mar 28, 2017
[center]ACT ONE
SCENE ONE[/center]


(Light on, Three teenage friends are walking down the street. Roseline, Josephine and Hannah. Josephine who is the oldest of the trio is wearing a long flowing black skirt, a green top, black scarf and a black sandal. She is an eighteen-year old girl with a figure eight shape, she is black and beautiful. Roseline has an average height, she is plump and fair. She is putting on a red long gown, a yellow pair of old shoes and a red scarf. Hannah, the shortest is a dark-skinned seventeen-year old lady. She is wearing a three-quater grey pencil skirt, she is wearing a threaded hairstyle and ties her scarf round her neck. These three friends have their jotters and pens tucked under their armpits.)

ROSELINE - Do you guys know their are different types of suit?

HANNAH - Rose, you have started o.(eyes her)

JOSEPHINE - Rose, please I'm all ears. (moves closer to Roseline)

ROSELINE - (pushes Hannah aside as she faces Josephine) I will tell you because you are my dear friend and because these types are all present in our church(they laugh)

HANNAH - (chuckles)ugh

ROSELINE - Number one is Parachute, this is the outdated type of suit you only buy from 'benddown select'. They also varies, some are always thick and heavy like all this okada riders pull-overs. Some are light,flexible, they look like parachute or blow-blow. I'll give you examples of two people that fit into this prescriptions. First person is Pastor...

HANNAH - (cuts in) Steven. That man is just too outdated... He is a very good example of the bend down select crew. (the trio laugh)

JOSEPHINE - Thought you were never part of the topic.

ROSELINE - How about the parachute?(places hands under her chin, the two pause thinking of who fits into the Parachute crew)

JOSEPHINE & HANNAH - (chorusly) Evangelist John.(they all roar in laughter)

ROSELINE - That man parachute no be for here o (smiles) the most annoying part is that he has different colours from red to purple. From green to silver.

HANNAH - The man can combine ehn... His tie is one in town. Who is wearing such a long tie in this twenty-first century(claps hands)

JOSEPHINE - What of his shoes? The man na confirm kokomaster. The ko-ko sound of his shoe ehn(they laugh)

HANNAH - Josephine, you are bad-mouthed. (chuckles) but you

ROSELINE - The second type of suit is the coat.

HANNAH - Who wears that this days?

ROSELINE - Pastor Sam does.

JOSEPHINE - Head pastor too.

HANNAH - Which one is coat again? (Covers her mouth to avoid laughing)

ROSELINE - you know all these suits with swollen body especially the down part now? You know the funniest part, this type condone heat and people who wears them are so addicted that you see them wearing it every time...

HANNAH - (cuts in) ... Under the sun or in the rain. (Laughs)

ROSELINE - They were very common in the nineties... I don't know where Pastor Sam and Head pastor get them from...

JOSEPHINE - You see that Pastor Sam, his tie is always short as if the tailor that sew his coat sow the tie with the coat's pieces

HANNAH - That's too harsh.

ROSELINE - The third type is the 'my tailor's style'

HANNAH -(confused) which one is that again o...

ROSELINE - cut and sow suit now... You see, some tailors can sow ehn... That one that sows for the choir master is trying... He will sow suit as if he is sewing Buba.(she hisses)

JOSEPHINE - (hisses too) I don't like him one bit(squeezes her lips) the man can pump saliva. That is why I don't like sitting opposite him... Your body will be full of thick saliva before you know it.

HANNAH - (smiles) May God forgive you...

JOSEPHINE - (rolls her eyes) ...and you too friendship

ROSELINE - The last is Suit. Confirm one o... Smooth and shinning suit...

HANNAH - Only one person possesses it in the whole church and that is...

ROSELINE AND JOSEPHINE - Mr. Ojuawo!!!

ROSELINE - I sha like that man.

HANNAH - that bald man, his head is always shinning like that of a Shea butter plastic.

JOSEPHINE - The man get swag o...

ROSELINE - Let us stop this...(adjusts her dress) we are almost in church.
(They all laugh as they enter the church for the chorister's practice. Light fades)

1 Like

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Bibi294(f): 10:07pm On Mar 28, 2017
Chumzypinky:
Madam... You're hardly ever consistent in Shadows of the Greens. Though we understand you're in the village. We understand that very well.
But, since you hardly update in one, why not wait till its completed before staring another? My humble opinion though. Meanwhile, kwantinue cos i'm loving this story more and more
Mummy chumchum... If I don't start... I will forget again cry... Update here will be twice a week

1 Like

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Chumzypinky(f): 7:30am On Mar 29, 2017
Bibi294:

Mummy chumchum... If I don't start... I will forget again cry... Update here will be twice a week
ok oo. Kosi wahala
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Bibi294(f): 7:38am On Mar 29, 2017
Chumzypinky:

ok oo. Kosi wahala


This one Yoruba dey sweet you this morning... How far you?
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by doubleportion: 8:45am On Mar 29, 2017
Following!
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Nobody: 5:32pm On Mar 29, 2017
Though I Came Very Late Bt Pls Kwantinue.
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by comelyJummy(f): 8:06pm On Mar 29, 2017
So you have started without informing I and my boss. Just kwantinue am following
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Ifecoded(m): 7:45pm On Apr 10, 2017
Bibi294- time to focus fully on this, b4 you continue with Shadows of the green.
Welldone
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Bibi294(f): 1:50pm On Apr 11, 2017
SCENE TWO

(light on, Glory By Fire By Force Church of the Most High, the church has a capacity of over two hundred members but the congregation is less than hundred. It is painted blue and cream in the outside while the cream glossy paint used inside gives the church a lighter look. The altar is decorated in various colours of satins and Christmas light. Two flower vase are placed at the edges of the altar while the brown wooden pulpit is placed at the center. Beside the Altar is the Pastor's cubicle, three men and a womanare sitted facing the other, the first is Pastor Sam, he is cladded in a black suit and red tie to match, beside him his Pastor Stephen, Head Pastor, the pastor's wife, Lady Evangelist Oloniyo,she is cladded in an Ankara iron and buba, her 'funmi Aragbaye' style of headgear, the way she swerves her head from right to the left in accordance to the song being ministered by the choir makes it difficult for the head Pastor and Evangelist John who stretched his neck forward to have a proper glimpse of the choristers, he is cladded in a yellow suit and a blue tie to match.

CHORISTERS - "Heaven's gate is narrow..
Take me home oh Lord....
Draw me nearer........ Amen."

(The church roar in applause as the choirs sit,Evangelist John walks towards the altar, the ko-ko sound from his shoes can waken a sleeping baby. The congregation murmur as he approaches the altar in his dark yellow suit, his long blue tie hangs outside his jacket. He rings the bell to calm the church.

EVANGELIST JOHN - In the name of our Lord Jesus, and our father in the Lord, Prophet Oloniyo, I welcome you into the house of God, where God heals, and where we collect all our lost glories by fire by force.(he pauses as the church hail)... By peradventure, if we have any person or a group of people worshipping with us for the first time, can you please signify by raising up your hand? (He paused as eyes roam about, a guy from the back seat raises up his hands, few people shakes hands with him) Can you please take a step of faith by coming forward sir, God bless you.( he smiles, he steps back and gives the mic to Pastor Sam, Shuaibu steps forward, he is an hefty man in his midtwenties, he wears a black shirt and a pair of blue jean trousers, he sags his jeans and his brownish boxers is on display. A huge blingbling hangs on his neck. )

"You are welcome in Jesus name
You are well to GFFCMG
We appreciate your effort for your coming
May God be with you."

PASTOR SAM - What is your name, my brother?

SHUAIBU - I b Shuaibu, my friends bin call me boubou.

PASTOR SAM - Bow your head as I pray for you.(closes his eyes as he stretches his hands towards boubou)
Father in Jesus name.

CONGREGATION - Amen.

PASTOR SAM - We thank you oh Lord for the life of out honourable brother, we thank you Lord for keeping him, we appreciate your holy name because only you can be praise. We say rekadede.... We appreciate you oh Lord since the birth of out brother in the Lord. Ogbokododokabradi.... Shu's his his his bushy... Ah oh lord.... Thank you father... Thank you Lord Jesus... May your name continue to be praised.

CONGREGATION - Amen.

PASTOR SAM - (with eyes still closed, he wipes off the beads of sweat in his face) Father Lord, we pray you please forgive our Brother of all his sins in Jesus name.

CONGREGATION - Amen.

PASTOR SAM - Oh Lord, every power of the demon tormenting you son, as I pray right now, they should die by fire by force.

CONGREGATION - Amen, by fire by force.

PASTOR SAM - Every sagging spirit, every spirit of dog chain, every spirit of unseriousness in the life of our dear brother Shu... Shu...

SHUAIBU - Just say Boubou(he corrected)

PASTOR SAM -Your real name nko?

SHUAIBU - Shuaibu.

PASTOR SAM - ...brother SHUAIBU, die by fire!

CONGREGATION - Amen by fire

PASTOR SAM -Die by force!

CONGREGATION - Amen by force!

PASTOR SAM - Die by fire.

CONGREGATION - Amen by fire.

PASTOR SAM -Die by force.

SHUAIBU -(cuts in) holam pastor! Why you dey swear now? You wan make I die by fire? You want make I die by force?

PASTOR SAM - I never said so.

SHUAIBU - Which one be SHUAIBU die by fire!die by force! Abeg o.

PASTOR SAM - Not you! I'm rebuking all your enemy ni.

SHUAIBU - I for fear!

PASTOR SAM - (continues with his prayers) God will continue to show you his glory

CONGREGATION - Amen.

PASTOR SAM - He will shower with you with riches.

CONGREGATION - Amen.

SHUIABU - Amen ooooook! Amen!Amen! Money na my problem o.

PASTOR SAM -If you are still a single man, May God give you your own wife, a good one from this church.

CONGREGATION - Amen.

SHUAIBU -Amen.

PASTOR SAM - For in Jesus name I have prayed.

CONGREGATION - Amen.

3 Likes

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by souloho19(m): 4:44pm On Apr 11, 2017
Bibi294:
SCENE TWO

(light on, Glory By Fire By Force Church of the Most High,

Lwkmd!

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Creeza(m): 7:43pm On Apr 11, 2017
Lol. Shaibu die by fire
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Bibi294(f): 6:56pm On Apr 19, 2017
SCENE THREE

(Light on, Glory by Fire by Force Church of the Most High mission house. A knock at the door)

HP - Livingstone! (he withdraws and rinses his hands)

LIVINGSTONE - Siiiiirrrrr (she appears in a long flowing gown, pimples litters at every corners of her face. She rubs hands onnher gown)

HP - Go and get the door, Someone is knocking.

LIVINGSTONE - Alright sir. (She moves closer to the door)

HP - hey! Wait! Check who is at the door first before opening o.


LIVINGSTONE - OK sir. (Checks through the doorhole) It is Mama Mission o and another aunty.

HP - (hides the plate of food under the chair) You can open it now. (He smiles, Livingstone opens the door and welcomes Mama Mission,a woman in her late fifties)

MAMA MISSION - Living living.... Stone stone.... How are you God's only daughter?


LIVINGSTONE - I am fine, Mummy. Brother Ayo nko?

MAMA MISSION - He is fine o...(she sits) Sit now. (Ushers Funmilola to sit)


LIVINGSTONE - Let me get you water, ma.

MAMA MISSION - No o! Or can I get a fruit juice.

LIVINGSTONE - (stares at her father) No o(shakes her head)

MAMA MISSION - What did you cook?

HP - Mama Mission, see, we don't have any food at home o... In fact I've not eaten since morning.

LIVINGSTONE - ugh! (Rolls her eyes)

HP - ehm... You... Go and get cold water for Mama mission and sisi mi. (Livingstone exits)

MAMA MISSION - Daddy, I am here to see you sir.

HP - Hope all is well?

MAMA MISSION - This is Funlola, my daughter in-law. She is the my elder sister's second child first wife.

FUNMILOLA - (kneels) Good Afternoon Sir.

HP - God bless you my sister. How's everyone?

FUNMILOLA -They are all fine sir.

HP - Mrs Badmus?

MAMA MISSION - Yes sir.

HP - That is wonderful! Or is it her son whom we want to make our children patron?

MAMA MISSION - Y..e...e...s!

HP - That is fine! Hope all is well sha?

MAMA MISSION - Daddy, all is not well o.

HP : What happened?

MAMA MISSION - She is going through somethings presently but I'd assured her if she steps her feet on Glory by Fire by Force, all that seems like a mountain will be flattened.

HP -Glory to God.... So, what is exactly the problem?


MAMA MISSION - She complained of having some terrifying dreams lately coupled with the fact that she is expecting a baby soon.

HP - Terrible dreams?

MAMA MISSION - Yes Daddy, she is Ibrahim's first wife, but Ibrahim married a second wife simply because all her children are girls. Now she is pregnant, she needs a miracle, daddy. She needs a male child. Secondly Sir, she got pregnant alongside with the junior wife and she claimed to have been habing some bad dreams recently... Daddy she needs your prayers.

HP - uhn... Human beings are so wicked! Let us Pray! In Jesus name!

MAMA MISSION & FUNMILOLA - Amen.

HP - We glorify your name oh Lord for the life of our sister in the Lord, we thank you for giving her another chance to be a mother... Thanks for this nine month course....

MAMA MISSION & FUNMILOLA

HP - Is there any spirit.... (pauses) thank you father.. isssss..... Jabarobobobobobo..... Oh God!..... Ah.... All forces of the devil, die by fire

MAMA MISSION & FUNMILOLA - Die by fire

HP - All the power of the darkness that plans to take over her child.... Die by force...

MAMA MISSION & FUNMILOLA - Die by force.

HP -Thank you Lord for answering our prayers for in Jesus name will pray!

MAMA MISSION & FUNMILOLA - Amen!

HP - Our God is a living God, Sister Funmi, you will have to observe a three days fasting and prayers and I know God will grant your heart desires. You can go, you are bless!(smiles)


MAMA MISSION - Go ke? Pastor, you were speaking in tongues earlier now?

HP - Yes of course.

MAMA MISSION - Didn't you see anything?

HP - like?

FUNMILOLA - Sir, I told you I'm having bad dreams, and you are here telling me to fast and pray.

HP - Oh! What did you want me to say? To say what I did not see or hear?

MAMA MISSION - Daddy, she needs a miracle.

HP - You want me to say what God reveals to me?

MAMA MISSION & FUNMILOLA - Yes.

HP - Your junior wife is planning something bad for you! Like you should die with the baby but with God, all things are under control.

FUNMILOLA - I said it! That girl! I will bewitch her and kill her, I swear.

HP - Do not fight with her when you get back home o, God bless you.

MAMA MISSION & FUNMILOLA - Amen.

FUNMILOLA - (opens her purse and brings out a wad of hundred naira notes) Take this Sir.

HP - No o, Sister Funmi, God gives freely.

FUNMILOLA - Daddg Daddy.... Don't worry... I am giving you.

HP - oh I don't take money....

FUNMILOLA - Is the young lady still around?

HP - My daughter?

FUNMILOLA - Can I see her? (Livingstone rushes in almost immediately)

LIVINGSTONE - I am here ma.

FUNMILOLA - (counts five thousand naira) Take, use this to buy minerals.

LIVINGSTONE - (collects the money) Thank you MA.(she exits)

MAMA MISSION & FUNMILOLA - (stand up) We have to leave. (They chorused)

HP -Alright o.... May the grace of God be with you always.

MAMA MISSION & FUNMILOLA - Amen.

HP - Regards to your husband.

FUNMILOLA - Alright sir. I will collect your number from Mummy and give you a call .

HP - OK OK... Thank you. (They leave) Livingstone! (brings out his food)

LIVINGSTONE - Sir! (comes in)

HP - Do you know your enemy is a bad child?(Livingstone folds her arms and places them under her chest) I have warned you times without number not to collect money from my visitors, it is a bad habit!

LIVINGSTONE - ...but sir, how will I refuse money from people who chose to help me without asking for their assistance?

HP - Next time you try that rubbish, I will make sure I throw you in three days marathon, it is a sin.(Livingstone murmurs)

LIVINGSTONE - Daddy, why did you keep your food?

HP - (blabbers)ehm...you know... What if the visitor is hungry?

LIVINGSTONE - Then you share your food with them!

HP - It is bad to eat in the presence of people, what if they cannot afford it in their homes?

LIVINGSTONE - and you said you have nor eaten today whereas this us the second time you are eating today.

HP - Livingstone, how much did that woman gives you?

LIVINGSTONE -(turns towards her room) let me go and count....

HP - No need, it is five thousand, I counted it. Go and bring it.

LIVINGSTONE -D.A.D.D.Y! You refused the money!

HP - Livingstone, go and bring that money! (Livingstone marches out murmuring). Uhn...(soliloquizes as he rinses his hand) You see our people ehn.... They will always force you to do everything... They always wants you to say what you didn't see... I did not see anything and she wanted to get angry so I can loose customers (chuckles) I kukuma tell her what I didn't see.

(Light fades)

3 Likes

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Creeza(m): 10:50pm On Apr 19, 2017
Pastor is a guy man.
''no need, i already counted it'' its 5 hundred. grin THAT PART GOT ME CRACKd up.
Nice one bibi ,keep it coming
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Phreshmann12(m): 12:28pm On Apr 20, 2017
hohohoho hp na boss grin cheesy
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Ifecoded(m): 8:30am On Apr 26, 2017
Abandoned Project!!!
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Creeza(m): 3:54pm On Apr 26, 2017
give her a little time... she might have other things keeping her busy

1 Like 1 Share

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Bibi294(f): 4:51pm On Apr 26, 2017
Ifecoded:
Abandoned Project!!!

This is my fourth work on nairaland... And none has ever been abandoned... Gimme time... Next week is my POP... Clearance and health issues r pulling me down.... Ifecoded, one update for u


Bro Creeza, another update for u... Meanwhile I'm enjoying ur ongoing story too... Thumb up

2 Likes

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Bibi294(f): 6:16pm On Apr 26, 2017
SCENE FOUR

(Light on[i], Glory by Fire by Force Church of the Most High, [/i]the elders of the church are sitted in a circular form inside the church premises.

HP - (sighs) Mummy Areola, pray for us.

MUMMY AREOLA - (adjust her headgear) Father Lord we thank you Lord for giving us the privilege to witness this meeting... May your name be praise....

ELDERS - Amen.

MUMMY AREOLA - We hereby put all our activities into your hands oh Lord, take perfect control in Jesus name.

ELDERS - Amen.

MUMMY AREOLA - For in Jesus name I pray...

ELDERS - Amen.

HP - I welcome everyone in the name of God. We don't have enough time to spend here today... (pauses as he searches through their faces) ehm... The first issue I want us to look into is the issue of children patron. (The elders exchange clances, some murmur while some keeps quiet) It is over a year now that Daddy Damijo left the church and we need a replacement. (Some of the elders nod in agreement) I am throwing it to the house... Who do you suggest?(there is silence for few seconds before Elder George speaks)

ELDER GEORGE - (looks from left to right then smiles revealing his kolanut-stained set of brown teeth) You all know my son, Gbenga who stays in Lagos... (One of the elders sneezes, another drags his foot)

MUMMY AREOLA - Which of the Gbenga?

ELDER GEORGE - How many Gbenga do I have?

MUMMY AREOLA - The only Gbenga that I think I know no longer stays in Lagos o... Is it not Gbenga the carpenter? The one that eloped after collecting money from us to make some pews for the church?

ELDER GEORGE -My son is not a carpenter o... He is a furniture

HP - (turns to Evangelist John) Secretary, hope you are writing something down.

EVANGELIST JOHN - Yes sir.

HP - Any other suggestion?

PASTOR SAM - How about Mr. Fadeyi, he is a fervent of the congregation, he is a very good man and also a lover of children. Have you forgotten how he bailed us out of embarrassment when Daddy Damijo left few days to the children anniversary? The man is a good man. (Mama Mission already has her hands up)

HP -Mama Mission, can we hear you out.

MAMA MISSION - I suggest Chief Badmus.

ELDER GEORGE - (cuts in rudely) Who is Chief Badmus?

MAMA MISSION - Elder George, take time o(eyes him)

ELDER GEORGE - (points his middle finger to her face) hey woman, because you are not married and childless comes not mean you should not learn how to speak to people's husband o

HP - Elder George, why now?

MAMA MISSION - (rises to her feet) leave him alone o, let his run that his mouth like the one of squirrel and talk to me o... At least I thanks God I am a single barren, you that you have kids nko, what can you show for it?... Now you are talking of Gbenga, sheybi Gbenga is your breadwinner... You ever best son... You keep deceiving us you sent him abroad and all he came back with after six year with a certificate in stool making (gives a long hiss)

ELDER GEORGE - (advances towards her) watch your tongue, old woman! All I asked is which Chief Badmus, I don't deserve insults from you o.

MAMA MISSION - ...the one that sells yam in the market ni (hisses)

HP - What is wrong with you both? We are here and you are exchanging words... I pray God will forgive you.

MAMA MISSION - (mumbles) see his teeth like a caterpillar teeth... Such a useless man... So short like agbégi's choke. (hisses) so wretched like a church rat.

HP - Mama Mission!

MAMA MISSION - Daddy, I'm just reciting the Lord's prayer ni (gives Elder George a scornful look)

HP - So, we have three suggestions now... Mr. Fadeyi, Chief Badmus and Mr. Gbenga.

MUMMY AREOLA - Who is Chief Badmus? Is it not Mama mission's cousin. (Head pastor nods) Chief Ibrahim Badmus? (Head pastor) Ibrahim in the house of God. (Claps her hands) wonders shall never cease.

HP - Mummy Areola, there is nothing wrong with that now. We have lots of pastors today with a Muslim background. Look at Prophet and Evangelist Samson Oluwamodede, that man was born into a Muslim background, Daddy David Oyedepo nko?

MAMA MISSION - Apostle Sulaiman nko?

MUMMY AREOLA - That one? (eyes her)

EVANGELIST JOHN - Pastor Rahman Moses Popoola of new Testament Christ mission international too now.

HP - Look at our Brother in the Bible, brother Paul who later became a follower if Christ... Do you know how much the Christians suffered in his hands?

MUMMY AREOLA - Daddy, is it not that you are supporting Mama Mission sha?

HP - Mummy Areola, you need to see from my angle o, this church is lagging behind in all ramifications... We're celebrating ten years anniversary next October, and were still inside this small building(points towards the church building) See End Time Church International over there (points outside the church environment) they are not even up to four years, yet, their church is fully tiled, see the kind cars their pastors drive... Dr. Sumonu is a fervent Muslim, yet he is the patron of the Church. "Owó ni kèké ìhìnrere" (money is the engine of evangelism) Most of our worshippers here are all going to the church.... We need to act fast o

MUMMY AREOLA -This is a house of God not a business center.

PASTOR SAM - Let's cast a vote then

MAMA MISSION - I support you o, Pastor Sam.

ELDER GEORGE - No o... I disagree(folds his hands)

HP - I support the voting. Secretary, over to you.

EVANGELIST JOHN - (counts with his fingers) one...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight...nine...ten.. (stretches his neck) ehm ... You are... Oh! We're eleven. So if you support Mr. Gbenga, kindly raise your hands. (Stretches his neck) one...one...one... Just one person o... Elder George .... It is only Elder George (Mummy Areola bursts into a mockery laughter, Mama Mission joins in) If you support Mr. Fadeyi, raise your hands. (Stretches his neck) one...two...three...four...just four... Mummy Areola, Pastor Sam is not even raising his hands...

MAMA MISSION - What's your problem? This is voting or is it not? See as you stiff neck like ostrich?

EVANGELIST JOHN - ...And if you support Chief Ibrahim Badmus, let's see your hands up...(stretches his neck and later adjusts himself when his eyes meet with Mama Mission whose hands are up already) one...two...three... (Head Pastor quickly raises his hands as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, Mama Areola shouts 'hey' as she adjust in her seat)four...five...six

MUMMY AREOLA - Who is the sixth person?

EVANGELIST JOHN - Myself of course...

MUMMY AREOLA - (shaking in her seat with her head bent) ...even Pastor Sam who nominate Mr. Fadeyi voted for a non-christain.

PASTOR SAM - Am I the only one here? (gives her a scornful look)

HP - Mummy Areola, Calm down now. There are instances Jesus mingled with the Pharises and Saducees in the bible... He ate with the tax collector too... God can use anyone for his glory.

PASTOR STEVE - I have a question o...

HP - Go ahead

PASTOR STEVE - The church rules states that we can't appoint a man with two wives to hold any position... So what will happen to chief?

MUMMY AREOLA - Good question!

HP - King Solomon has seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines, yet he is the wisest man on earth!

MAMA MISSION - Even his father, David.... And Abraham our father... (There is silence for few seconds, some humming while some folds their arms, some laughing while some murmurs)

HP - (feeling uncomfortable) Let us share the grace in fellowship.

May the grace of Jesus Christ,
The love of God,
And the sweet fellowship of the Holy Ghost,
Abide with us now and forever,
Amen.


(Light fades as they all disperse in ones,twos and more)

Scene dedicated to Ifecoded Creeza and IecheM...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Bibi294(f): 6:52pm On Apr 26, 2017
aprilwise
IecheM
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1 Like 1 Share

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Ifecoded(m): 6:59pm On Apr 26, 2017
Bibi294:


This is my fourth work on nairaland... And none has ever been abandoned... Gimme time... Next week is my POP... Clearance and health issues r pulling me down.... Ifecoded, one update for u


Bro Creeza, another update for u... Meanwhile I'm enjoying ur ongoing story too... Thumb up
Woooow, a whole update for me, I is a veri greatful pelsin, thanking you booboo kitty. May God grant you sound health.

1 Like

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Ifecoded(m): 7:02pm On Apr 26, 2017
Creeza:
give her a little time... she might have other things keeping her busy
I just wanna use that to draw their attention back to the story.
Following your story too, it's damn dope mehn. Keep it up, see you at the top soonest

1 Like

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Ifecoded(m): 7:13pm On Apr 26, 2017
Bibi294:


This is my fourth work on nairaland... And none has ever been abandoned... Gimme time... Next week is my POP... Clearance and health issues r pulling me down.... Ifecoded, one update for u


Bro Creeza, another update for u... Meanwhile I'm enjoying ur ongoing story too... Thumb up
Chai I no fit laugh o, na only elder george vote for im pikin mr Gbengene... Lol
I just dey imagine the kind laugh wey I go laugh If to say me dey there... Lol
Bibi294 ori e wa nbe jare.

1 Like

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Creeza(m): 10:05pm On Apr 26, 2017
Lol , My son is not a carpenter he is a furniture ... grin


Hp and sense sha... no dulling o

bibi294 keep it cracking , I'm here till this ministry becomes known all over the world . smiley
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Creeza(m): 10:05pm On Apr 26, 2017
Ifecoded:

I just wanna use that to draw their attention back to the story.
Following your story too, it's damn dope mehn. Keep it up, see you at the top soonest
thanks Bro. . . hope you stick till the end of it ..
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by tunjilomo(m): 10:37pm On Apr 26, 2017
Strongly following this one.

1 Like

Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Matrycx(m): 4:38pm On Apr 30, 2017
bibi is writin comedy. mak i book seat. i dey come. bibi oya wey update. gud work sis
Re: pul-PIT - A Comedy by Bibi. by Eniqurl(f): 8:09am On May 01, 2017
Following....

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