Hello guys,
I decided to create this topic especially for those who are dealing with a family member with narcissistic personality disorder, it could be your spouse, sibling or parent.
I for sure know the negative effects of of narcissistic abuse and how emotionally draining it can be with such a person.
unfortunately i have a narcissistic mother and know how traumatic it was for me growing up, my teenage years i remembered was mostly full of pain and agony as my mother would maltreat me for no reason. As the first born of my family, i thought she just hated me and i doubted she was my real mother but as my younger siblings grew she did the same to them and even now that we are adults the abuse continued, and she extended it to our immediate families as well. i and my siblings had an agreement that in order for us to have our sanity and peace of mind we had to totally cut contact with her and also to protect our marriages because she was on the verge of destroying them.
This was quite a painful decision but it had to be done, now i can say finally we have a breath of fresh air!!!
It is 2 years and counting now with no contact with our mother and though we hope she would change to be a better person we still love her, but if she does not change, we have to focus on us and our healing from the emotional scars done to us over the years.

i would give a break down of my story later, i made lots of research and i realized few years ago that she was a core narcissist and also came to the realization that they hardly change. so this group is aimed at supporting those who are dealing with similar issues, sharing our own stories and also providing solutions for healing and dealing with a family member with NPD.
sorry for my lengthy post

kpele oh. it kind of rear. but there are people with this disorder. guess you've healed now.

jaybeyblu:
Hello guys,
I decided to create this topic especially for those who are dealing with a family member with narcissistic personality disorder, it could be your spouse, sibling or parent.
I for sure know the negative effects of of narcissistic abuse and how emotionally draining it can be with such a person.
unfortunately i have a narcissistic mother and know how traumatic it was for me growing up, my teenage years i remembered was mostly full of pain and agony as my mother would maltreat me for no reason. As the first born of my family, i thought she just hated me and i doubted she was my real mother but as my younger siblings grew she did the same to them and even now that we are adults the abuse continued, and she extended it to our immediate families as well. i and my siblings had an agreement that in order for us to have our sanity and peace of mind we had to totally cut contact with her and also to protect our marriages because she was on the verge of destroying them.
This was quite a painful decision but it had to be done, now i can say finally we have a breath of fresh air!!!
It is 2 years and counting now with no contact with our mother and though we hope she would change to be a better person we still love her, but if she does not change, we have to focus on us and our healing from the emotional scars done to us over the years.

i would give a break down of my story later, i made lots of research and i realized few years ago that she was a core narcissist and also came to the realization that they hardly change. so this group is aimed at supporting those who are dealing with similar issues, sharing our own stories and also providing solutions for healing and dealing with a family member with NPD.
sorry for my lengthy post

Who carried out the psychological evaluation on your mother and came to the conclusion that she has a narcissistic personality disorder? If it was you that did the evaluation, what traits did your mother exhibit besides maltreating you that suggested that she has a narcissistic personality disorder?

These are some of the traits of a narcissistic mother;
1.she has to be the centre of attention at all times.
2. She demeans, criticizes and makes derogatory remarks against you.
3. She violates your boundaries
4. She destroyes your relationships
5. She favourites (that is where the golden child and the scape goat child comes to play)
6. She is a habitual liar
7. She is very jealous and highly competitive of
her child/children
8. She makes you look crazy
9. She is self absorbed
10. She is childish and petty. (My mom is the queen of this, when i was 14 years old she gave me the silent treatment for 2 yrs in the same house, she never uttered a word to me. Now we are all out of the house, my father is going through a lot now).
11. She terrorized you
12. She sheds her parental responsibilities as soon as she is able to.
13. She is never wrong about anything.
14. She goes on smear campaigns.(this was done almost on a daily basis to us)

The list goes on and on, i know it is a sensitive topic to discuss, but i have met just a few people who have family members like this, and i also try to reach out to others who may not even be aware that this is the issue. Then i didnt know about Npd it was really confusing to me, all i hear is have they prayed for your mother? Have you prayed? Sure prayer works but what if she dosnt change? Do i spend the rest of my life wishing and hoping that when she becomes a better person then she would realize all she did to her children and then we would be happy?
My siblings and i have accepted it that she may never change, matter of fact she is getting worse and the person i feel most sorry for is my dad, (most times he dosnt come home during his work break because he knows my mother is unpleasable).

@ stewie101 i hope i have answered your question

Hello,

I was wondering if there are people who can comment on how to attempt to reach out to a sibling of our narcasistic mother? We are both adults now, with our own families. I have two children and my sister is expecting her first soon. I believe, after a lot of research, that my mother is a narcissist, that I was the scape goat, and my sister was and is still the golden child. I can't speak too much of her as she has done plenty to ignore me and if she has to communicate at all then it is with my husband only. This is trying in itself but is not the topic I have in mind here. I have gradually let mum go and spoken to everyone in my family individually over years thAt I am sick of mums attitude and behaviour. However, I have finally set off the "bomb". After asking my mum to be civil while she came to visit us for Christmas with dad, we got the expected response that she will do no such thing and will not compromise for her grandchildren who have twigged on that she does not behave normally when in social situations. She also took the opportunity to say some things to my husband about his family from whom we are now estranged because he had similar issues with his family (my mum asked him "if your mum can get away with treating your kids that way, then why can't I?" ). So we have informed everyone involved (my dad, sister, and mum) that we have accepted that mum will not compromise for the kids and has decided not to visit and that we accept her decision. I have spoken to dad at great length about it (he didn't realise how deep the scars were but guessed most of the damage she caused between my sister and me). In my heart I feel that my sister will side with my mum on this whether it be out of habit, because she finds it easier to just capitulate to her, doesn't want to face the stress, or whatever really. I understand the immediate and short term consequences of my decision are likely to be terrible. But in the long term I am hoping to reconnect with my sister and for us to have a half decent relationship with things out in the open. Currently my husband and I both feel that she hates me and has acted foolishin the past just so that she can be mean to me for no reason out of the blue.

I have no idea how to go about staring this, how long to let things lie, how to approach the topic when i see her next. Any sagely advice welcome. ☺️.

This requires psychological evaluation.

Hi Guys
I'm Michael...
I created a WhatsApp page for individuals who had at one time was in a Relationship with a Narcissist Individual, and who is seeking healing... I know it really hurt concerning the things a victims goes through in the hands of Narcissistic individual. Please, feel free to contact me on WhatsApp 08167114856. Let's grow a communities to share ideas on this prevalent issues.

Persons with Narcissistic Personality disorder

- Idealization
- Devaluation
- Discard

And the cycles repeat itself.