maryyo:


God bless you!
Are you married?

BabaCommander:



Poor people are always hungry and angry. I understand you are frustrated.
One thing you need to understand though, is that it's not your fault that you were born poor, but it's not your fault to remain poor.
Fortunately, you can change your conditions by changing your attitude. Channel your anger into a MORE productive activity.

last35:
Karma is just a bitch! You short changed and disgraced your inlaws by impregnating their daughter before the normal stuffs... Why will day waste money on the marriage of after 1??

gnykelly:


the contents of your write up and your signature says a lot about your state of mind. the problem might be you.

SirVintageCock:
When you saw the shoddy arrangement how did you react? Did you lash out at them infront of your guest?
We're you overtly rude and snaggy all through the ceremony?
Did you bother to ask what happened?
How much exactly are we talking about here? If it is below 150-200K and you are expecting an elaborate decorations and awesome feeding like some mini-celebrities then you need to apologize to them with cartons of henessey , a black male goat with double tail and four hollandais wrappers. Because that amount is abysmal in the current economic situation of this country, just kegs of palmwine and other drinks will gulp 50k what about meat for cooking, a bag of good quality rice is 18.5k x 2=37k, semo or whatever they call it nko.
Your wife probably went back home to sulk with her people and lick their wound in solidarity about the resultant effects of the whole charade. You hurt them big and you know it.
We here, are already demonizing them for being leeches and ungrateful and sh!t but you know that ain't the truth. She stayed even after having a baby outta wedlock and you think her family will intentionally ruin her chances of proper marriage just for a few bucks Naaa, I don't think so.
Get your asS to your inlaws, give them chance to explain what happened, apologize and get your family home.

dadexcel:
............... Ok, first I will start by saying that however your in-laws prepare for you and your guest should not be an issue that will make you lash out at your wife like that... Infact I percieve that all hasnt been well even before the traditional marriage ceremony. Theres a lot of tension around your narrative, your dispoosition towards your wife leaves alot to be desired... She is supposed to be your partner and not the other way around. In summary, because theres alot to say, but in all my advise is for you guys to step up maturity, exclude your in-laws from your issues, treat your wife as a partner, draw her close, take responsibility and resolve the issues in your young marriage. I feel the bulk of the problem lies with you. Also, put God first in all your endeavours.... Your marriage will succeed in Jesus name. Amen

BuariCopyPaste:


If you ask me, her mother is the one making those decisions and influencing her wrongly.
I can talk it over with my wife but I don't want a situation where I will be at the mercy of her mother .

Folumade1:
I quite understand you brother and i would like to tow the line of PEACE MAKING for the sake of your son like some have rightly advised.

Look the truth is PATIENCE can conquer any BRIMSTONE or FIRE of argument, i won't blame you for loosing your cool when you discovered things didn't go according to plan i am sure when you vent your frustration and annoyance on her that day for the shortcomings of her family and she was apologizing, some BUSY BODIES would have whispered in hears that why would you allow a man talk to you like this... bla bla bla Remember BUSY BODIES are out there to destroy with their tongues.


SHE must have been influenced by their word either directly or indirectly this may explain why she DID not turn up and the reason her TEMPER flared at little provocation from you when she returned. LOOK Bro no matter what this is the same woman you have been with for a Minimum of i guess 2 years considering your son's Age and you must have accepted her anomalies and faults enough to decide to come do the right thing " PAY HER DOWRY". so i would advice you " SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE COMPLETELY" and just ASSUME you are WRONG first irrespective of what she did and what your in-laws did. REMEMBER you and your Wife are 1+1=1 (ONE PARTY) and all external parties NAIRALANDERS, IN-LAWS,FAMILY MEMBERS,CHURCH MEMBERS,NEIGHBORS are (ANOTHER PARTY).

Hence, always see your WIFE AND YOURSELF as one person, so the Question is will you DIVORCE YOURSELF( 1+1=1)

I am no saint either and i have disagreements with my wife every now and then yet we go still resolve and move on.... i am sure your wife cannot be as BAD as the PICTURE OLAKUNLE CHURCHILL painted of his WIFE TONTOH DIKEH and yet for the sake of his SON ANDRE or KING he is still willing to forgive her, accept her back and move on with her. atleast your wife is not VIOLENT nor destructive.

LASTLY Bro, i would advise you get your hands on any book that has to do with "EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE" when i learnt about "EI" a while ago my marriage has never remained the same and it really does help. Having said this Sir; you are the one in this situation and there is not generalized approach to any issue of the heart. God will see you through.

Be Blessed[color=#006600][/color]

Fifthcolumnist:
If your story is complete and true then your wife is entirely to blame. Although, I think fuming at her to save face was unnecessary and poorly managed. You know women are proud beings and hate being attacked even when they are wrong.

But, you can't risk loosing your marriage for the sake of pride and "saving face". Infact, if your marriage breaks down after just one week together, you'll have no face at all how much more one to save. You have to loosen up, swallow your high standards, and play the fool for the sake of your marriage before things get out of hand. Apologise to her and her family telling them, the stress of the whole event got to you and you're sorry you managed the situation poorly. Do this in the interest of peace and forget about rightness or wrong. After all, it's your marriage to keep, not theirs' or anyone else's.


Edited: And once she's back to your house sit her down and talk sense into her while being as diplomatic as possible- keeping your cool. Lay the rules and deal with her family with a long spoon. I believe your wife may not be a bad Person, only she was manipulated by her family.

BuariCopyPaste:


YES to your first question.

There's an uncle who's the surrogate father.

To The last question, she didn't actually disappear because I knew she must be in there house but I wanted her to give a detailed explanation on the whole issue including what brought about the shoddy preparation on the wedding day.

limamintruth:
My sincere advice is that you work on your temper @OP. From your story, it is obvious you are quick to anger, which is capable of destroying any marriage.

The first problem you raised was entirely the fault of your wife's family. So I wonder why you acted harshly towards your wife.

And with respect to the second issue, the manner in which you confront your spouse determines how she reacts or responds to you. You need to learn how to talk to her calmly with love; not harshly with so much bitterness or venom.

Once again, don't give up on your marriage please. Every marriage has its ups & downs. And no human is perfect. We only strive to be perfect. Peace!