StPete:
HungerBAD,

You're psychologically and mentally mature. Your responses always make sense. Two cold Orijin for you

The maturity disappears when its buhari matter sha!

adam500hr:


I can only owe you on one thing, thats to apologize to her that I called her names, in which I'll immediately provide evidence of slandering me over the phone with the male friend she claim she has. A full explanation on that is required.
Moreso, is that how rotten marriages should be, that a woman should use dirty tactics mind games to get her husband to disburse funds that is not and should not be demanded for? If thats the kind of mind games some women use, I am not accommodating such in my own union, na big brother house my famil dey live? Ihian!! If i hear!!!

thumbs up!

Joavid:
Your story isn't exactly coherent. perhaps you wrote it under duress.

Going by what you wrote, she started cheating after you refused to give her the 2million or help her get the loan.
and the reason why you refused to give her the 2million is because nothing has come out of the previous business you financed for her.


Oga adam500hr, you did not marry a wife material. You married someone who's emotionally and psychologically immature with a huge sense of entitlement.

My dear, sadly lots of women go into a union because of what they want to benefit from it. Not to contribute or build a home.

A woman who thinks 2m is nothing, and she has no 2m of her own money or such help from her own birth family is really no wife material.

If you're comfortable as a man, the woman you have might just be after your money only. So look carefully.

Imagine OP lost his job/livelihood, would this kind of wife stay?

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

This is the genesis of the whole problem, often times, men concentrate on sex more than the most important thing in a relationship which is getting to know your partner. The mistake has been done, try to clean the mess

MsFaith:
marriages these days make me feel I can do better than than most married ladies #justmythoughtsthough

pardon me intruding to your thoughts dear, but that is what most ladies say till they get in.

ifyalways:
Chai, is this what marriage has been reduced to?

She give BJ
She's a hoe
Send text to explain
kilode

OP, seat down with your wife and handle all this as a man. You cannot finance her new project for now because of bla bla bla, she can go ahead and take the loan with her name after all she's an adult but you won't be part of it, get it done and OVER with. I frankly don't understand all the back and forth, nor the need for it.

I don't think it is fair for you to ask him to sit down and handle anything like a man after his wife went out to sleep with or is even thinking of sleeping with another man for money just because the husband refused to give it to her.. ..wife o, it's crazy,even for a girlfriend.

NnamdiiKanu:


I would stay in the marriage, stop having sex with her and go find me a side chick who will satisfy me

And you don't know what sexual immorality does to a family right?

@OP. Will you accept somebody calling you an armed robber just because they suspect that you stole something?

And how would that make you feel if you actually didn't steal anything

Or if you are accused of being a witch because somebody thinks it

It is not surprising, the crazy things that happen in Naija. And it is not surprising how we are stuck were we are.

Nigerians are harsh men!!! Small minds!!!

Different forms of jungle justice in this crazy jungle!!!

May God grant you wisdom, patience and grace to handle this. Best wishes!

chinybelle:

And you don't know what sexual immorality does to a family right?

And the wife knows what sexual immorality does to families ??

in fire without smoke.....i tink wat broadened her heart is based on d fact dat shez used to getting a YES weneva she makes a request frm u & dis time she got a NO itz yet to register in her mind dat u really declined her request for real.......i wish she wud wake up from wateva she tinkz is gonna give her a beta life outside marriage, ill also advice u check on d pple she kip as fwends & business associates, bliv me dey all do av great influence on her (it beta b she married u for Luv & not ordawise if not ure in a worst state dat a one chance passenger cud b in)......God bless Ur marriage

In d words of Robert Kelly, "When a woman's had enough, there ain't nothing you can do about it".

click dis link http://healthblogging.ga start clicking all d post and stay online for 30mins..u will be given free seo backlinks for all niche...ested ok

She is definitely seeing someone and it pains me coz of bar......your instinct isn't deceiving you....just be quiet for a while and watch what she is Gona do.....being single is better then being with a cheating wife Biko....she sucks I don't care and she's a baby coz she's not satisfied with what she has....me I go para wella sha coz I gas know the guy she dey douk

NnamdiiKanu:


And the wife knows what sexual immorality does to families ??

You were using yourself as example
That example is a very bad one

Common 2million...
No be your mate dey buy Ferrari 4there wives
Pls let her be a beg

StPete:
HungerBAD,

You're psychologically and mentally mature. Your responses always make sense. Two cold Orijin for you

The ways he comprehend and comments on this platform is really commendable.

GodnGold:
As always,I don't like one sided stories.

But oga Adam, you lost my respect when you started getting worked up about her calls and issues...then you went down yonder to call names...oga...e dalu ya (you fail am ).

To remedy your case,those phone calls and etc were done to swing you to action.

You know like get you scared of loosing her and then you do her bidding.

But that lady is brilliant sha.

She is not cheating...she is only working on your mind.


I repeat...she is not cheating...mind games.

Now,play the fool card,bro,the olodo card.

Beg her,tell her how sorry you are, be more olodotic about it by shedding so many shoulder vibrating tears with phlegm oozing out of your nostrils...yes...those tears.

Now,buy something for her and promise to help her with the money ...SOON!

Peace restored at SOON!

Then few days later ...you got her at cloud 99,tell her a touchy tale as to why you can't raise the money.

Be sorry man,Show pain,loose your sleep about it, you feel me?

Let her see the worry on your face but bro,don't you ever agree to do the loan thingy with her bro.

We women can drag one yonder if they let us...I warn you...do not agree...And remember...Show thy pain...let it be written all over you!

You owe me you know.

u mumu sha

adam500hr:


Your number says switched off

My dear adam500hr, i know how such issues are. I know the psychological effects of such marital problems. However, all you need now is a concrete evidence before any decision is taken by you. I have handled such issues for over 4 people. Even on this platform.
Contact me via whatsapp 08129078105.. Let's get some proof if she's cheating or not.

chinybelle:

You were using yourself as example
That example is a very bad one

Can't you read

If my wife decides to cheat, that's what i would do instead of getting a divorce

I don't pity people like this OP, Why? because they are usually ignorant and don't listen or learn from others . They do anyhow, live anyhow., sleep with girls anyhow without considering the future.

The girl in question had no feelings for him right from d start.. she is just one of those empty heads that date multiple men only to pick the first mugu to propose marriage. Their lives don't have meaning as they themselves won't know what they want coupled with laziness and self centeredness they possess

you're in deep shi.t already so no amount of advice can save you.. Brace up cos the inevitable is coming whether you like it or not

She has not done anything yet, she is only trying to push you to give her the money. As for the 'Mouth Action' she said it on purpose. She dey use your head. She wants you to get scared making you believe she will get it from another man if you don't give her. Even if she gat plans, I don't think she has done anything yet because if she wants to, she won't mention it and of course she won't leave you traces.

adam500hr:


UNFORTUNATELY, I have had heart to heart talks with her during past incidences, its just seems not to work, and dont have faith seeing it work,I would have to seek a spiritual procedure, call on God. Cos if God fit give me two wonderful pikin thru this woman wey nor dey loyal, then I need not to blow that blessing away.

@Every!, is is best to consult a councilor? I doubt that, cos our first counseling, she gave too much details that even the counselor felt sort of uncomfortable. Will a pastor be advisable? That too depends on the pastor, its only God that can see through a real pastor, some will claim to want to administer help, they use prayers to try to penetrate ones wife. Or is there therapy that can handle this situation?

I honestly wish I have the answer at the bolded. However, since you have consulted a councilor but there is no possible outcome, probably you can give marriage councilors in church a trial.

Women eh! they bring out their true nature in marriage as they pretend as if they are never moved by financial edifice.

Chai!!!

The things we eternal bachelors dey enjoy eh!!!

Can you imagine!!!

I never deal with my problems alone finish na to come carry anoda person wahala come put for my head sake of say ayam married to her!!!

Mbanu!!!

Chukwu aju!!!

My dear OP jus manage to carry your cross becos say you don enta be say you don enta

But if the cross come dey be like say e don dey too much for only you, abeg no waste time to yank the tin off once and for all

Ahn ahn... Say wetin?!!!

Dis life na only one time!!!

Luvdk:
Common 2million...
No be your mate dey buy Ferrari 4there wives
Pls let her be a beg

How many you don buy for men , abi you nor dey see woman wey dey buy cars for their man .

Dhayor001:

1. Never yell.

2. Don't call names or use insults

3 Never make statements that you cant back up sooner or later

Obviously you have made a big mistake here. And until you have undeniable proof, I suggest you call your wife and apologise sincerely.

What she said about a Mouth Action and the stylish hanging up may be ploys to get you worked up and raise the money for her, or they may be true that she's cheating. As you have no proof of either, you have to be the man and eat the humble pie.

As for her not wanting orgasms, bros na your wife o. However hard she might act, there are moves you make that (you know) drives her mad. Do them unexpectedly, not too much, just enough to get her excited and see if she will not give herself to you fully.

If she says she wants to leave, bro, the answer is no. Our generation should not be the one that throws things away because it is broken, we ought to mend them and make them work. Our parents did it, we can too. No be say na by force but divorce never makes things easy. Me and that woman will lock ourselves in a room for a week and work things out.

If she has cheated on you (and she confesses) and you are willing to forgive, good. If not, however, let that be the basis of you guys separating and not just cause of some money issues or emotional trauma.

If you must part ways, please the less the noise made and dust raised, the better.

Above all, be calm and meditate. Pray, it works!


Cheers.

ROFLMFAO! Really?

StPete:
HungerBAD,

You're psychologically and mentally mature. Your responses always make sense. Two cold Orijin for you

someone like that guy who rushes to comment try to come off as intelligent so that he can score cheap nairaland points... i laugh in spiritual powers

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

Bros, na here the wahala start. Never ever marry someone because for any reason otehr than love or mutual understanding.

kagari:
pardon me intruding to your thoughts dear, but that is what most ladies say till they get in.

Well, my case is different.

HungerBAD:
Interesting.

First,if we knew each other personally i will not say this be because i want to mind my business,but your wife is sleeping outside and i am not sure it just started newly.

That she is even planning on leaving the family,to what she considers a greener pasture over your refusal to release that money to her,tells us your competition has really worked on her.

She will not be the first married woman to make this same mistake,of thinking that their lovers really love them and that when they walk away from their families,loverboy will just make them their number ONE.

There is a reason they say women have fish brain. They forget that loverboy sleeping with them when married,can never trust them. As a wife that cheated on her EX while married will cheat on them too,and so she usually ends losing both husband and loverboy.

She is your wife and it is your decision to make. You assumed you knew her,and that is why you married her,so you are in a better position to tell if she can cheat.

But you said she has a store?i always advice men to marry or date mostly professional women. Not saying they are better,but married women who run stores,joints,go around selling (Gold,shoes,Clothes) and stuff in offices usually sleep around a lot and the husbands are usually the last to know.

The problem with a cheating spouse,is that even if you forgive her/him it never stops. It is an habit they cant let go and that is why i tell people,if your spouse is cheating on you,let that person go.

You are compromising your life by staying with a cheating spouse.

You are the best.

she tricked u into marriage and it worked That Was ur first mistake ï Will rather have a Child out if wedlock than get married to à stranger, t divorce is not an option for the sake of ur kids talking from xperience am from a broken family trust me growing up was tough whic affected me and is still affecting me nw, mend things up with ur wife and save ur kids the traumer of a broken family. Dats y the thought of me getting married scare the shitt out of me

HungerBAD:
Interesting.

First,if we knew each other personally i will not say this be because i want to mind my business,but your wife is sleeping outside and i am not sure it just started newly.

That she is even planning on leaving the family,to what she considers a greener pasture over your refusal to release that money to her,tells us your competition has really worked on her.

She will not be the first married woman to make this same mistake,of thinking that their lovers really love them and that when they walk away from their families,loverboy will just make them their number ONE.

There is a reason they say women have fish brain. They forget that loverboy sleeping with them when married,can never trust them. As a wife that cheated on her EX while married will cheat on them too,and so she usually ends losing both husband and loverboy.

She is your wife and it is your decision to make. You assumed you knew her,and that is why you married her,so you are in a better position to tell if she can cheat.

But you said she has a store?i always advice men to marry or date mostly professional women. Not saying they are better,but married women who run stores,joints,go around selling (Gold,shoes,Clothes) and stuff in offices usually sleep around a lot and the husbands are usually the last to know.

The problem with a cheating spouse,is that even if you forgive her/him it never stops. It is an habit they cant let go and that is why i tell people,if your spouse is cheating on you,let that person go.

You are compromising your life by staying with a cheating spouse.

Bros, you are a professor! Spot on analysis.