I was on my own "jejely" trying to buy kebab, popularly known as "suya" in Nigeria, and thinking of how best to spice my dinner, when one young man just breezed in from nowhere and with a peculiar accent, uttered "Why does you let my heart broke like this" . I turned to the person that shot me at the back with missiles of words and found him well dressed and obviously talking to his girlfriend or "toastee". He also stopped by for kebab.

I thought I had heard it all but he shot another missile by saying "Sweet-sweet, talked to me naa. What has I done wrong?"

I couldn't get angry, neither could I laugh. In fact, I reflected deeply on the situation and tried to absolve him from blame. I placed the blame on his teachers (assuming he is educated), as well as the bad educational standards in Nigeria.

Later on, I started thinking and came to the realisation that almost all Nigerian men, whether educated or not, woo girls in "Queens English". It is rare to see a Nigerian man woo a lady in Pidgin or in any of the local languages. This is true, at least, in my experience and based on what I have observed so far. Although I must acknowledge that there are a few exceptions. So my question then is this: what is actually wrong in wooing a lady in the language you are most comfortable with, especially those who speak English only as a second language?

I couldn't come up with a clear answer because even in cities, towns and villages where everyone speaks the same language, you observe this trend as well. So there is no justification on the grounds of communication. What then could be the reason behind this recourse to English when wooing ladies? Is it just a standard? If it is, who started it? Why do those who are not competent in the English language try to force themselves to speak it when wooing ladies? Even ladies that are not competent in English force themselves to speak it, just to appear modern and acceptable. What happened to our native Yoruba, Hausa, Igbo, Urhobo/Isoko, Pidgin, Efik, etc, when communicating with those of the opposite gender that we develop romantic proclivities for?

I need some responses to further enlighten me on this issue. Let us all discuss.

Lalasticlala, Seun, Mynd44, Dominique, Oam4j, Obinoscopy, Efewestern, Sanchez01, Ishilove, Fynestboi, Bigfrancis21, Afam4eva, HopeatHand, Refiner, LadyF, Evestar200, Smellinganus, et al: what are your thoughts?

The reason is poverty of the mind.

In a country where people rate you based on how good your english is, why won't people struggle to woo hungry and judgmental ladies in Ogbanje English. Even in some very tick homogenous villages, men still force themselves to speak English. They really have no choice because it is suicide if you attempt to toast a girl in a ny language other than English. Even the English sef no dey sell market again because it has been toppled by money but atleast, English will keep you in the race until you can prove that your bank account is fat.

From my oqn personal experience, whenever i approach a lady of Igbo heritage and knowing that we're from Igboland, i tend to cheap in one or two Igbo nuances once ina while but i always notice that their demeanour changes whenever i do that. The question i can assume they're asking themselves is "I'm i sure this guy is not a villager". Since i noticed this, it's English all the way.

Hahaha.. So hilarious

Afam4eva:
The reason is poverty of the mind.

Lol.

This poverty must be very strong, for it to affect almost everyone.

And he could be better than the lady he is trying to impress with English language

Most do so 'cause they want to impress. That's the only explanation behind that rationale.

xynerise:
And he could be better than the lady he is trying to impress with English language

Very correct! Some of these girls forming shy girls are not really shy. When they switch to their native language with their family and friends, that is when you will see their true colours.

I have also been wondering oooo

kimbra:
Most do so 'cause they want to impress. That's the only explanation behind that rationale.

But it is also true that many ladies find men who cannot woo them using English unattractive. If a man comes up to you and starts rapping your native language to woo you, would you even look at him twice?

I don't always use English to woo girls, sometimes, I use sign language

Wetin we go do nah... But I think its all about how yu see urself and ur relationship with the girl... I for one am fluent in "English" but I find it relaxing when I throw in some pidgin English along d way.

fratermathy:


But it is also true that many ladies find men who cannot woo them using English unattractive. If a man comes up to you and starts rapping your native language to woo you, would you even look at him twice?

Firstly, does he know my native language?, that would be applicable if we both reside in a homogenous community as indigenes.

Secondly, supposedly he knows where I'm from which is likely where he's from. Does he know if I understand my first language?. BTW, English is our official language so let those who could speak it do so, while those who still don't understand it communicate in what they're used to. No be by force but some people keep falling hands.

Some girls deserve to be wooed in pidjin

As u sabi english well well, just try open ur own school make u teach people. na de guy english u go use buy make-ups, creams, clothes or money? de der de form oni-english na. who english epp

EnigmaticEnigma:
I don't always use English to woo girls, sometimes, I use sign language

You are operating on another level entirely.

Lmao.... ...
That was how one approached me and said...

Baby gal,your finest is entering my head,i cant fit think like a man always...

I felt like crying tho...

kimbra:
Firstly, does he know my native language?, that would be applicable if we both reside in a homogenous community as indigenes.

Secondly, supposedly he knows where I'm from which is likely where he's from. Does he know if I understand my first language?. BTW, English is our official language so let those who could speak it do so, while those who still don't understand it communicate in what they're used to. No be by force but some people keep falling hands.

Lol. If you see the mockery some people make of themselves when they try to speak English in order to impress girls, you will just roll on the floor and pray for the earth to open.

Last last sha, na pidgin suppose win. A "toasting" session like this shouldn't be bad:

Guy: Babe how far na? See as you set like Oyibo winch.
Babe: Na so people dey tell me o.
Guy: Correct! Oya make me join tell you too for za oza room. Gimme your digits.
Babe: Oya take am. Sero-hate-sero....

fratermathy:




You are operating on another level entirely.

Hehe, don't mind the OP

elaigwusimona:
As u sabi english well well, just try open ur own school make u teach people. na de guy english u go use buy make-ups, creams, clothes or money? de der de form oni-english na. who english epp

Chairman calm down. E be like say u nor even understand wetin I de talk sef.

Me and you de the same page. Make we de track babes in any lingua wey we fit yarn. Nor be English go solve world crises.

LethargiQue:



If we use pidgin.. She'll think we're broke and dumb



If we use native language, she'll think we're too local.



Even the English we dy manage, una want make we stop?

Like EnigmaticEnigma talk, na sign language go win am last last

fratermathy:


Lol. If you see the mockery some people make of themselves when they try to speak English in order to impress girls, you will just roll on the floor and pray for the earth to open.

Last last sha, na pidgin suppose win. A "toasting" session like this shouldn't be bad:

Guy: Babe how far na? See as you set like Oyibo winch.
Babe: Na so people dey tell me o.
Guy: Correct! Oya make me join tell you too for za oza room. Gimme your digits.
Babe: Oya take am. Sero-hate-sero....

Na now wey everybody dey form posh you want use pigin toast fine babe?.

The one I see often on here is when someone makes a thread and attach a video to it. They all tend to leave their "Ok" spoken English and start mixing both British and American accent just to impress viewers. That's so silly and funny at the same time.

fratermathy:




Like EnigmaticEnigma talk, na sign language go win am last last

refiner:
Lmao.... ...
That was how one approached me and said...

Baby gal,your finest is entering my head,i cant fit think like a man always...

I felt like crying tho...

RIP English!

LOL.

This is not the worst. English has been killed 10 times over. Pidgin would do just fine. Nor be by force to form posh.

I toast in igbo and come in english

kimbra:
Na now wey everybody dey form posh you want use pigin toast fine babe?.

The one I see often on here is when someone makes a thread and attach a video to it. They all tend to leave their "Ok" spoken English and starting mixing but British and American accent just to impress viewers. That's so silly and funny at the same time.

It is very common o. Once some people enter front of a camera, their brains start to shake. You'll see them using Igbo/Yoruba/Hausa accent to speak American/British English and end up sounding ridiculous and stup*d!

Partnerbiz:
I toast in igbo and come in english

Oghene me biko oo!

Is my eye seeing what my mind is telling me now? Please come again.

fratermathy:


Oghene me biko oo!

Is my eye seeing what my mind is telling me now? Please come again.

My second coming is in latin

See below shaa

fratermathy:


Chairman calm down. E be like say u nor even understand wetin I de talk sef.

Me and you de the same page. Make we de track babes in any lingua wey we fit yarn. Nor be English go solve world crises.

abi ooo! abeg u fit help me with sugar make i use wage my conscience b4 i sleep with de little garri wey get?

fratermathy:


It is very common o. Once some people enter front of a camera, their brains start to shake. You'll see them using Igbo/Yoruba/Hausa accent to speak American/British English and end up sounding ridiculous and stup*d!

Lol, very annoying thing.
I kind of understand those who're actually learning and end up falling hands, but don't understand these learned ones forming British/American accent.

Goodnight.

Afam4eva:
The reason is poverty of the mind.

In a country where people rate you based on how good your english is, why won't people struggle to woo hungry and judgmental ladies in Ogbanje English. Even in some very tick homogenous villages, men still force themselves to speak English. They really have no choice because it is suicide if you attempt to toast a girl in a ny language other than English. Even the English sef no dey sell market again because it has been toppled by money but atleast, English will keep you in the race until you can prove that your bank account is fat.

From my oqn personal experience, whenever i approach a lady of Igbo heritage and knowing that we're from Igboland, i tend to cheap in one or two Igbo nuances once ina while but i always notice that their demeanour changes whenever i do that. The question i can assume they're asking themselves is "I'm i sure this guy is not a villager". Since i noticed this, it's English all the way.

The bolded got me reeling with laughter.

Ladies also contribute to this. In fact, ladies are the main cause. If you start "toasting" them in native languages, you won't be looked at twice, except you have money (enough money) to make up for it.

I will try this experiment one day. Just chat up a random beautiful lady in my native language and see how it goes.

fratermathy:
So my question then is this: what is actually wrong in wooing a lady in the language you are most comfortable with, especially those who speak English only as a second language?

I couldn't come up with a clear answer because even in cities, towns and villages where everyone speaks the same language, you observe this trend as well. So there is no justification on the grounds of communication. What then could be the reason behind this recourse to English when wooing ladies? Is it just a standard? If it is, who started it? Why do those who are not competent in the English language try to force themselves to speak it when wooing ladies? Even ladies that are not competent in English force themselves to speak it, just to appear modern and acceptable. What happened to our native Yoruba, Hausa, Igbo, Urhobo/Isoko, Pidgin, Efik, etc, when communicating with those of the opposite gender that we develop romantic proclivities for?

Colonial mentality/mental slavery is the cause. There's this deep rooted subconscious notion that English language (represented by the Caucasian) is the superior to our native language (Negro), and hence when one needs to take life changing decisions, it should be done in English language whether or not one is proficient in it. In that deeply primal part of the subconscious, English language represents class and sophistication while the native tongue is regression to the times when our forbears roamed the earth in their raffia skirts.

Proficiency in English language is important in formal communication, true, but in cases like the one which spurred you to create this thread, it should take the back seat because it limits the expression of your emotions.

In my experience, the admirers who got my attention quicker are the ones who wooed me in pidgin and their native tongue. I was transfixed because I found myself listening to every word because I wanted to understand them.