SammyAx:
I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.

I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.

My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.

I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time?

madone:
I think u re too pushy and u have a nag for picking a fight over trivial issues ,maybr na too much book.sweet heart no african man will stick to a lady that argue and fight everytime with big big grammar. Gold was not in the wedding item u got angry.i think ur guy just tire for ur tomuch drama.listen girl in nigeria here a guy that travel to u.s to see his babe deserves worship from other ladies and am sure he has seen a worshipper... Not a fighter

daclint:


Legendary comment (are u related to MartinLutherKing)

madone:
I think u re too pushy and u have a nag for picking a fight over trivial issues ,maybr na too much book.sweet heart no african man will stick to a lady that argue and fight everytime with big big grammar. Gold was not in the wedding item u got angry.i think ur guy just tire for ur tomuch drama.listen girl in nigeria here a guy that travel to u.s to see his babe deserves worship from other ladies and am sure he has seen a worshipper... Not a fighter

slurryeye2:


Very nice piece of advice. The poor dude just got tired of prospective wife complaining about everything

slurryeye2:


You were making sense ooo with you comment until the last sentence

SammyAx:
I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.

I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.

My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.

I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time?

Springsdy456958:
you are wrong.

Urukpe:


best advice, between me and u I think the gal family is against the marriage secretly.

beautiful232:
move on babe
a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

GOD will send someone better and someone that is meant for you ok...

IamAirforce1:
I can't date or marry someone like you

You're one hell of a pack.

PatriotTemidayo:


Exactly my thought too. And the lady in question doesn't understand the game plan by the parents.
They cant tell her directly to leave the guy cuz they fear she'll retort cuz she's highly educated and a bit liberal since she lives in the US, so they instead wanna plant contempt and bitterness in her mind for the guy. Its a trick. And she doesn't know it.

otobomax:


You said it all, a man loves his peace than any other thing.

Classy rich girls wey come humble again scarce

SammyAx:


My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. ?

PatriotTemidayo:
Every piece of advice am about to give is curled out of your write-up. First, I think you think too highly of yourself and less about him. Secondly, picking a fight over him watching porn describe you as Naive and close-minded cus like you've said, you're in the US and he's in Nigeria, how else did you think he survived? Thirdly, you do not appreciate the fact that while you're busy pursuing you personal educational agendas, he was very understanding for waiting for you, that was a big sacrifice.
Lastly, you live in the US and called Nigeria's Item inferior? That's absolute ignorance. I think your parents and family are top used to very expensive and imported items that they forgot that stuffs in Nigeria ain't exactly the same quality as that of the US, and I am sure your people just wanna make an issue for this. I think they got another hidden suitor someone and I think they suddenly think your man of 7 years is not worthy of their heavy investment who is now a PhD in-making.

Think.

You said they dont wanna sell you so why should box of gold matter?

If they don't wanna collect so much money from his family, so how much does a box of gold cost?

As far as am concerned, he has the right to break up with your ass cuz you've been so carried away with the word "YOU" that you forget you're trying to build a relationship, and not a factory.

Don't blame him, but make amend. And make it humbly. Your doctorate degree, your Green card and your family and stuffs wouldn't help you get a man. He was your man b4 you got to this level, be wise.

madone:
I think u re too pushy and u have a nag for picking a fight over trivial issues ,maybr na too much book.sweet heart no african man will stick to a lady that argue and fight everytime with big big grammar. Gold was not in the wedding item u got angry.i think ur guy just tire for ur tomuch drama.listen girl in nigeria here a guy that travel to u.s to see his babe deserves worship from other ladies and am sure he has seen a worshipper... Not a fighter

Trina0936:

You are not God. Stop saying trash! Just because he left doesnt mean someone better is not out there for her. There is always someone out there for everyone. Whites believe this that is why their life is so much better than blacks.
By the way,OP learn from Adesua. There must be other guys who are just friends with you but because of your relationship you were not interested in them. It is time to give those guys a chance. Afterall,you are now single again.
As for the silly hypocrites who would quote me,you better not. Everyone has someone they friendzone. Its not a gender thing.

SammyAx:
I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.

I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.

My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.

I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time?

Zane2point4:
I sometimes wonder why nairaland is full of rhetoric and hate speech.

Just reading through the advices here and cant help but wonder why is everyone causing and abusing someone who seeks advice fron this forum.

If you think she was wrong, critice her in a matured mature way and give advice,pls make una go learn from quora.com on how those guys behave even Nigerian guys there say somthing reasonable everytime.

MASTERCC:
You are not a wife material.
Not even ashamed of yourself... We had a fight
The man ran away cos he saw tomorrow