Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,757,019 members, 6,551,920 topics. Date: Saturday, 23 October 2021 at 12:34 AM

Am I Still Married? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Am I Still Married? (2866 Views)

I Still Steal From My Parents At The Age Of 35 / I Still Masturbate Even After I Got Married / She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 12:01pm On May 11, 2017
Hello house,
I got married in 2012 (arranged marriage). I had traditional and white wedding the same day.
Here's the issue, I left him about 3 months later and we had the traditional marriage annuled (the igbo way. My family returned all the things they brought when they married me and they returned the things my family gave me when I went to his house. In the presence of the elders)
Its over 4 years now and he's already remarried.
Now I left the country and I'm about to remarry and I'm a little confused (I'm marrying a foreigner now and immigration can be very thorough with their checks). Is church wedding legally binding?
We never went to a registry or anything like that but we had the Catholic white wedding. I don't have an annulment documentation and I contacted a lawyer after I left him and the lawyer said since we didn't have a court marriage there can't be a divorce. Now, my questions are:
1. Do I write that I've been married before? and if yes I need to provide documentation to show I'm divorced or it was annulled.
2. How can I check like marriage records to see if my name comes up as married?
I have attached a picture of the marriage certificate the church gave us.
Please family lawyers, I desperately need your help!!!
Thanks in advance.

Re: Am I Still Married? by newyorks(m): 12:05pm On May 11, 2017
u are a free agent dear.
Re: Am I Still Married? by Alennsar(f): 12:16pm On May 11, 2017
to me you're free
Re: Am I Still Married? by goodmorning40: 12:22pm On May 11, 2017
Throw away the marriage certificate and pretend it never happened. Ur name is not anywhere we don't have such records in naija

1 Like

Re: Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 12:57pm On May 11, 2017
Great! Thank God oo! I was soooooo worried cos I am just about applying for my fiance visa. Thank you all VERY MUCH
Re: Am I Still Married? by keepingmum: 1:02pm On May 11, 2017
Babe sorry to burst your bubble but you are VERY married.
Orthodox churches like the Catholic/Anglican/Methodist are recognised by law as having powers to conduct a marriage as they have licenses ....unlike most pentecostals that don't hence the insistence of the church that intending couples go to the registry.

I suggest you file for an annulment if the marriage wasn't consumated or a divorce. If you are abroad, the divorce process takes no more than 8wks especially if your ex spouse doesn't contest it

1 Like

Re: Am I Still Married? by baby124: 1:06pm On May 11, 2017
Contact the church you got married and confirm from them. You can also ask your ex what he has claimed on his own documents. Truth be told since there was no court then there is no real proof of marriage.

You need to contact the church because Orthodox churches can issue approved licenses that will be accepted by the courts. Do your research well.
Re: Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 1:19pm On May 11, 2017
keepingmum:
Babe sorry to burst your bubble but you are VERY married.
Orthodox churches like the Catholic/Anglican/Methodist are recognised by law as having powers to conduct a marriage as they have licenses ....unlike most pentecostals that don't hence the insistence of the church that intending couples go to the registry.

I suggest you file for an annulment if the marriage wasn't consumated or a divorce. If you are abroad, the divorce process takes no more than 8wks especially if your ex spouse doesn't contest it

Thanks for your reply. How can I told for an annulment? With the church?
And can someone file on my behalf?
Re: Am I Still Married? by ezugegere(m): 1:27pm On May 11, 2017
In the eye of the Church, you're still married, and the Church will never grant you divorce. However, you can pretend you have never been married and pray your husband never decide to spoil things for you.
By the way, what's the meaning of arranged marriage?

1 Like

Re: Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 1:29pm On May 11, 2017
baby124:
Contact the church you got married and confirm from them. You can also ask your ex what he has claimed on his own documents. Truth be told since there was no court then there is no real proof of marriage.

You need to contact the church because Orthodox churches can issue approved licenses that will be accepted by the courts. Do your research well.

I think he didn't remarry in the Catholic church. Plus we don't talk so I can't ask him. Though he also wanted the annulment and when I asked the lawyer he said there wasn't need cos we didn't have a court marriage (now I see he probably didn't know what he was talking about)
The church referred me to the archdiocese.
You've seen the marriage cert issued to us (is that the same as an approved license?)
Re: Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 1:31pm On May 11, 2017
ezugegere:
In the eye of the Church, you're still married, and the Church will never grant you divorce. However, you can pretend you have never been married and pray your husband never decide to spoil things for you.
By the way, what's the meaning of arranged marriage?

He's remarried so I don't see why he'll try to spoil things for me.
Arrange marriage: a marriage planned and agreed by the families or guardians of the couple concerned.

Thanks a lot for your reply
Re: Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 1:32pm On May 11, 2017
I've been researching this and people have different opinions about this that's why I decided to create a post and hear from people directly.
Part of the problem now is there a no chance of me coming to naija to file for anything and all that.
I really need to know especially if anyone has had a similar situation, are there records that could show that I was married by a priest? (Mainly for immigration check). Like public birth, marriage and death records or something of that nature...?
Re: Am I Still Married? by baby124: 1:53pm On May 11, 2017
bellau09:


I think he didn't remarry in the Catholic church. Plus we don't talk so I can't ask him. Though he also wanted the annulment and when I asked the lawyer he said there wasn't need cos we didn't have a court marriage (now I see he probably didn't know what he was talking about)
The church referred me to the archdiocese.
You've seen the marriage cert issued to us (is that the same as an approved license?)
You have to make sure the church did not file it or give notice of the license to the court. I don't know your church's process.

1 Like

Re: Am I Still Married? by baby124: 1:55pm On May 11, 2017
bellau09:
I've been researching this and people have different opinions about this that's why I decided to create a post and hear from people directly.
Part of the problem now is there a no chance of me coming to naija to file for anything and all that.
I really need to know especially if anyone has had a similar situation, are there records that could show that I was married by a priest? (Mainly for immigration check). Like public birth, marriage and death records or something of that nature...?
Those records are not public in Nigeria. But they could be in the near future and you would have lied on your immigration document. Just make sure you follow the appropriate steps first.
Re: Am I Still Married? by ezugegere(m): 2:05pm On May 11, 2017
The Catholic Church will not grant annulment once the marriage is consumated, that is the couple have sex. Annulment only happens in very rare cases. Once married, you remain married until death do you part. So don't even bring Church into it. And I'm very sure he didn't do his second wedding in the Catholic Church.

2 Likes

Re: Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 2:21pm On May 11, 2017
baby124:

Those records are not public in Nigeria. But they could be in the near future and you would have lied on your immigration document. Just make sure you follow the appropriate steps first.

Appropriate steps like? I don't want to have issues with this now or later on. But I sincerely don't know what to do at this point.
Re: Am I Still Married? by Funnyguy83: 2:57pm On May 11, 2017
isswell
Re: Am I Still Married? by Acidosis(m): 3:07pm On May 11, 2017
keepingmum:
Babe sorry to burst your bubble but you are VERY married.
Orthodox churches like the Catholic/Anglican/Methodist are recognised by law as having powers to conduct a marriage as they have licenses ....unlike most pentecostals that don't hence the insistence of the church that intending couples go to the registry.

I suggest you file for an annulment if the marriage wasn't consumated or a divorce. If you are abroad, the divorce process takes no more than 8wks especially if your ex spouse doesn't contest it


Pentecostals equally get licenses.


My church back home got that license from the Corporate Affairs Commission with about 100k. Anybody with 4 "Directors", an address, and a phone number can get that license. It's like registering a Private Limited Company in Nigeria. With about N100k, you will get a CAC registration and copies of signed and FGN authenticated marriage certificate to be issued by the Clergy.


@OP, that document is not exactly a trusted marriage certificate. However, I'd advise you go ahead to get an annulment as recommended. Without it, you can go ahead with your marriage plans, but in order to avoid troubles in the future (especially from your ex- husband), I would advise you to take all necessary measures. A desperate ex can go to any length to blackmail an individual.
Re: Am I Still Married? by baby124: 3:09pm On May 11, 2017
bellau09:


Appropriate steps like? I don't want to have issues with this now or later on. But I sincerely don't know what to do at this point.
I have told you. Contact your church to ask what they did with your license and explain trad has been dissolved and no court was done. If they did not submit the license to the court house then you are free from the marriage. No record of a legal marriage exists for you. So you were not married.

1 Like

Re: Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 3:55pm On May 11, 2017
baby124:

I have told you. Contact your church to ask what they did with your license and explain trad has been dissolved and no court was done. If they did not submit the license to the court house then you are free from the marriage. No record of a legal marriage exists for you. So you were not married.

Okay will do that. Thank you very much
Re: Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 3:56pm On May 11, 2017
Acidosis:



Pentecostals equally get licenses.


My church back home got that license from the Corporate Affairs Commission with about 100k. Anybody with 4 "Directors", an address, and a phone number can get that license. It's like registering a Private Limited Company in Nigeria. With about N100k, you will get a CAC registration and copies of signed and FGN authenticated marriage certificate to be issued by the Clergy.


@OP, that document is not exactly a trusted marriage certificate. However, I'd advise you go ahead to get an annulment as recommended. Without it, you can go ahead with your marriage plans, but in order to avoid troubles in the future (especially from your ex- husband), I would advise you to take all necessary measures. A desperate ex can go to any length to blackmail an individual.

Thank you very much.
I'll look at how to get that started.
Re: Am I Still Married? by SirVintageCock: 5:24pm On May 11, 2017
Why not ask a catholic priest straight on? I mean Catholic church has a way with marriage that often looks scary for the faint hearted.....the only reason I won't be marrying in one, makes it easier to jet in and when it is too hot. You know what I am saying right undecided
Re: Am I Still Married? by Homeboiy: 10:54pm On May 11, 2017
I dey read n i de laf some comments

well, babe in igbo tradition ,ur divorced nt not married bt a catholic church can not support a divorce, cos its not a court of law,

go on wit ur marriage, act like u never married because ur ex husby acted like none

people talking of blackmail, how will that be possible when ur abroad n his married her also

Go on and marry ur oyibo husband, even witches go bow for una

3 Likes

Re: Am I Still Married? by jokepearl(f): 1:23am On May 12, 2017
Was a notice given at any registry 21 days or more before the wedding?
Did you sign on a long piece of paper with Nigeria coat of arms (marriage certificate)?
Did you go back to the registry after the wedding....

If the answer is No, you are Not married in the eyes of the law..
But the only confusion is most orthodox churches usually follow the normal procedure before they wed anyone. Surprise a Catholic Church gave out that certificate.

1 Like

Re: Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 4:21am On May 12, 2017
jokepearl:
Was a notice given at any registry 21 days or more before the wedding?
Did you sign on a long piece of paper with Nigeria coat of arms (marriage certificate)?
Did you go back to the registry after the wedding....

If the answer is No, you are Not married in the eyes of the law..
But the only confusion is most orthodox churches usually follow the normal procedure before they wed anyone. Surprise a Catholic Church gave out that certificate.

We didn't do any of that oo.
There was no registry, no signing on a paper with the coat of arms, no notice that I know of. Nothing of the such...
Re: Am I Still Married? by bellau09: 4:29am On May 12, 2017
Homeboiy:
I dey read n i de laf some comments

well, babe in igbo tradition ,ur divorced nt not married bt a catholic church can not support a divorce, cos its not a court of law,

go on wit ur marriage, act like u never married because ur ex husby acted like none

people talking of blackmail, how will that be possible when ur abroad n his married her also

Go on and marry ur oyibo husband, even witches go bow for una

Your post made me laugh. Lol
But thanks a lot for your response. Lol.
My fiance knows I was previously married so I don't think he could blackmail me with that but to be on the safe side, I decided to post here and find out.
Re: Am I Still Married? by BellaElla(f): 6:58am On May 12, 2017
bellau09:


We didn't do any of that oo.
There was no registry, no signing on a paper with the coat of arms, no notice that I know of. Nothing of the such...

You are not married biko
The church wedding was only a ceremony since you didnt sign the marriage certificate
This one they gave you can't be used for any legal proceedings.
The marriage certificate is the legally recognized document for official purposes
, u are free as a bird.
When u are asked if u have ever been married, say no.
Your ex can't challenge it cos he doesn't have legally binding proof.

2 Likes

Re: Am I Still Married? by greatgod2012(f): 10:05am On May 12, 2017
That wedding certificate up there is not the real one from registry! The church wedding you did was just a mere ceremony, in the eyes of the law, no legal marriage conducted!
Re: Am I Still Married? by ade712: 12:45pm On May 12, 2017
@op all of them are telling you what you want to hear!

You are married and its perfectly legal.

Catholic is a worldwide organisation even if they give you a piece ofpaper. it is still bounded.

Go to the nearest Catholic church and enquire of annulment process if you meet the requirements.

I dont think you can do anything Legal again as in your second marriage will be termed illegal if anybody especially your to be inlaw contest it.

However tell your new man to write a WILL to cover you in case of incasity smiley
Re: Am I Still Married? by Acidosis(m): 1:07pm On May 12, 2017
Homeboiy:
I dey read n i de laf some comments

well, babe in igbo tradition ,ur divorced nt not married bt a catholic church can not support a divorce, cos its not a court of law,

go on wit ur marriage, act like u never married because ur ex husby acted like none

people talking of blackmail, how will that be possible when ur abroad n his married her also

Go on and marry ur oyibo husband, even witches go bow for una

Nobody knows tomorrow, so they say. I bet if Buhari knew the implication of what he did some 60 years ago, he would have studied very hard and well enough to sit for WAEC exam.

You may say that at least he is the president today, but remember that not many will have that opportunity to attract votes from zombies without a due certificate.

(1) (Reply)

We Have Divorced Nd Now He Wants To Take The Kids To Village For Xmas Holiday. / Somebody Help!! / Advantages Of Marrying Woman With AS Genotype If You Are AA

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 163
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.