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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) (1905 Views)
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All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 5:13pm On May 14, 2017 |
WHY PEOPLE MARRY THE WRONG PERSON : ALL
UNMARRIED MUST READ THIS BEFORE
MARRIAGE........
Many married people are daily regretting and cursing
their marriages. If you are single, know the reasons
why people marry wrong persons and end their
marriages in bitter separations or live to endure it. 1. YOU FOCUS MORE ON CHEMISTRY THAN ON CHARACTER Principle: Never marry someone because you’re in love. Falling in love is a state of temporary psychosis. It is the “delusion of fusion.” Identify the specific character traits you must have in your spouse and know clearly how to asses for each one. Background checks are essential, Be especially careful to check out the family. People from warm and loving homes will most likely be emotionally healthy people. Chemistry means there is physical and sexual attraction. Compatibility: Looking for sameness: same backgrounds, culture, language, interests,politics etc. Temperament types are important to know. 2. YOU EXPECT HIM OR HER TO CHANGE AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED The question you must ask is, “Can I live with this person the way he is now and be happy with him?” Principle: Never marry potential. This implies bad potential. He’s a chronic smoker and drunkard and says he’ll change for you. This is bad potential. If he doesn't change you’ll resent him. 3. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE FUNDAMENTAL NEEDS OF MEN AND WOMEN This is all about making sure the male-female energies are in sync. Men and women each have one core emotional need. Men want to be respected. Women want to be cherished, which means they want to be protected, provided for, and guided. The ultimate prerequisite for a man to get married is that he is ready to take responsibility. He has to be ready to be a “man.” 4. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHERE YOU'RE GOING This means knowing what you stand for in life: Your values, priorities, and goals. Ideally you should not be considering marriage until you've answered life’s most important question: What am I living for? Two people who have the same life goal have a much greater chance of growing together and staying together in a deeply bonded way. A soul mate is a goal mate. Principle: The more clearly and narrowly we define ourselves, the better our chance of finding the right person. Tools: What are we going to build together? What are this person’s life commitments? What does this person stand for? What is he passionate about? 5. YOU GET INVOLVED SEXUALLY TOO QUICKLY Becoming intimate too soon can be self-defeating because it creates confusion. • It may create a false sense of commitment and depth. • It may block you from processing your feelings which is soul-tie • It may lead to overlooking problems that should not be overlooked. 6. YOU CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO IS ABUSIVE The definition of an abusive relationship is one in which you are afraid to express your feelings and opinions. Other indicators: • You don’t feel emotionally safe. • You have to monitor what you say. • You walk on egg shells around this person. • You don’t feel relaxed and don’t feel you can be yourself. • The person is demanding, controlling, or communicates with anger and criticism. 7. YOU DO NOT HAVE A CONSISTENTLY POSITIVE EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH EACH OTHER A positive emotional connection does not mean you are in love. Five questions to evaluate if you have a positive emotional connection: 1. Do I respect and admire this person? 2. Do I trust this person in every way and feel I can rely on his or her judgment? 3. Do I feel totally safe with this person (like I feel with my best friend)? 4. Do I truly care about this person and have a desire to give to him or her? 5. Are we open and honest with each other about our feelings and opinions? Your greatest tool for measuring the quality of the relationship is your feelings. Principle: Never dismiss anything that bothers you! Process everything that bothers you. 8. YOU DON'T COMMUNICATE WELL This is very important: You must be sure before you get married that the two of you communicate well. Good communication means: 1. We can talk openly and honestly about our feelings 2. We listen to each other and make it safe for each other to express ourselves. 3. There is no defensiveness 4. We trust that together we can resolve problems 5. We have confidence in ourselves that we can repair our breakdowns 6. We work well together; we’re a good team Principle: You must be able to repair breakdowns 100%, which means there is no resentment or bad feelings left over. One of the biggest mistakes people make is to believe that marriage will heal or fix their deep inner pain. In many cases, marriage will only make the pain greater and more unbearable! Comment please 1 Like |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by SINZ: 5:26pm On May 14, 2017 |
Mr Exclusive ![]() |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by simplyhonest(m): 5:28pm On May 14, 2017 |
nice |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 5:30pm On May 14, 2017 |
SINZ:bros bros I greet ya government oo |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 5:30pm On May 14, 2017 |
simplyhonest:thank you ooo |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by SINZ: 5:34pm On May 14, 2017 |
Martin124: I greet you too, sir. |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 5:38pm On May 14, 2017 |
SINZ:bịa nwoke m apozi na m sir oo |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by SINZ: 5:42pm On May 14, 2017 |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 5:46pm On May 14, 2017 |
Thank you OP. Help me tell them oo. ![]() |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 5:48pm On May 14, 2017 |
SINZ:onu kube,,M agwa Nna chaa gi,,, |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Fmartin(m): 6:05pm On May 14, 2017 |
exclusive baby again ![]() |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 6:19pm On May 14, 2017 |
Fmartin:bros bros,hope say the road clear |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Chuknovski(m): 6:23pm On May 14, 2017 |
very rich |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Fmartin(m): 7:23pm On May 14, 2017 |
Martin124:very clear ![]() |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Gpopsicle(m): 7:33pm On May 14, 2017 |
this is highly informative.. thanks sir. I am on the verge of breaking up with my girl. at the moment our relationship is on hold.. |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 8:10pm On May 14, 2017 |
Gpopsicle:Lol on the verge What happened |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Gpopsicle(m): 8:29pm On May 14, 2017 |
Bumbae1: alot my dear.. I think I am making the right decision and taking the right steps.. |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 8:29pm On May 14, 2017 |
Gpopsicle:Ok , happiness first ![]() |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Gpopsicle(m): 8:48pm On May 14, 2017 |
Bumbae1: yes sure, thanks for understanding.. 1 Like |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 8:51pm On May 14, 2017 |
Gpopsicle:No matter the problem the relationship encounters just bear it,you can only separate from your partner only on the cause of cheating,or probably in some extent by either faced with mental issues,this is pro to before you get married and even when married. |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 8:54pm On May 14, 2017 |
Bumbae1:I have no problem with him being happy,but how about the lady,probably they can still separate on mutual grounds,is it that difficult? |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 8:55pm On May 14, 2017 |
Martin124:For some men it is difficult |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 9:00pm On May 14, 2017 |
Bumbae1:ok then why did you advice him on what to do,it will be more complicated if I tell him the truth,because they might feel am saying it base on your presence to be precise,so kindly tell him what is right, |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 9:05pm On May 14, 2017 |
Martin124:Lol cant as i dont know the story .. or both sides |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 9:08pm On May 14, 2017 |
Bumbae1:ask and you shall receive,you were the first to ask,probably hmm anyway,so xup na,hope you fed up yourself to the brim now? |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 9:09pm On May 14, 2017 |
Martin124:Bye martin |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 9:15pm On May 14, 2017 |
Bumbae1:eee so quick?ok na have a good night. |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by luminouz(m): 9:52pm On May 14, 2017 |
OK OP u win.....I won't marry!! 1 Like |
Re: All Unmarried Should Read This (exclusively Baby) by Nobody: 6:50am On May 15, 2017 |
luminouz:hahahahah bloda bloda |
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