I'm in a Christian courtship with a beautiful lady, we have been planning to settle down this year. What I discovered about her right from the onset of the relationship is that she has so many male friends and it doesn't bother me much because I trust her and also I discovered that she really love me through her action. Let me say few things about her she is respectful and homely lady and she doesn't demand much from me though I take properly care of her.
Sometimes again I stumbled on her chat in Facebook and I saw her chat with some men which made me raise and an eyebrow though what I saw did not establish it that she is cheating she apologized and we settle it. Lately I discovered that she has been very careful with her phone and also she wouldn't want to receive some calls when she is with me.
The last thing that gave me concerns was that few days ago she celebrated her birthday and a guy uploaded her pictures and publicly professed his love to her as lover on Facebook the post generated a lot of comments and she also like the post.The same guy that she has so many of his pics on her phone.
My question is that could she be cheating on me? Though I haven't confronted her with that, there are so many things to say, let me stop here in other not to reveal much identity. Any reasonable advise or bashing is welcomed.

Bather. .find an alternative or prepare for a heartbreak.

Since she's being careful with her phone around you and a guy posted pictures of her and publicly professed his love for her, you should be very careful.

Watch your back!

Since you have not proposed to her, you are still friends right? Why do you think chasing all her suitors when you are not yet her Fiancé is the best option for her? If she was your daughter will you advice her to chase all her suitors for someone who is courting her and has not proposed yet?

Stop wasting your time and propose to her if you are serious of settling down soonest. If not get ready for a heart break as she definately might be dating the other guy.

Did you see how Banky W quickly announced to the world his love for Adesua Etomi and went ahead to do the introduction? That was because Adesua started crushing on Jidenna and professing her love for him on Twitter.

So ask her if she would want to marry you and marry her or at least do an introduction. Then watch if he still chats with the boy? She probably likes you but just want her last fun b4 marriage. She may be missing romance too since you are acting too Christian-like. Goodluck

baby124:
Since you have not proposed to her, you are still friends right? Why do you think chasing all her suitors when you are not yet her Fiancé is the best option for her? If she was your daughter will you advice her to chase all her suitors for someone who is courting her and has not proposed yet?

Well, I have proposed to her, I have made my mind known to her since the beginning of the courtship. All my families know her, I have even met with her father and mother and made my intention known to them. The guy is married she can never marry d guy even if they are dating, she may be doing that for the fun ofit, she is young and just graduated.

[quote author=Mayflowa post=56592707]Did you see how Banky W quickly announced to the world his love for Adesua Etomi and went ahead to do the introduction? That was because Adesua started crushing on Jidenna and professing her love for him on Twitter.

So ask her if she would want to marry you and marry her or at least do an introduction. Then watch if he still chats with the boy? She probably likes you but just want her last fun b4 marriage. She may be missing romance too since you are acting too Christian-like. Goodluck[/quote
We are planning towards that introduction, she was the one that said we should put it on hold till she graduated.she love me I know that very well, sometimes ago when I raised similar issue she was crying like a baby. She calls me often and I do call her too, sometimes she doesn't give me space.
Concerning the issue of romance u maybe right or wrong, I do take her out hold her hands or hug her, no any form of hot romance because we both decided that we only gonna have sex until after marriage and we have stood on that. She also said she is a virgin.

antidisestablis:

Well, I have proposed to her, I have made my mind known to her since the beginning of the courtship. All my families know her, I have even met with her father and mother and made my intention known to them. The guy is married she can never marry d guy even if they are dating, she may be doing that for the fun ofit, she is young and just graduated.

Have you given her engagement ring and set introduction date? Maybe she is too young for marriage? Why not court an older lady if you are looking for someone who will focus totally on you?

Yes she is

baby124:
Since you have not proposed to her, you are still friends right? Why do you think chasing all her suitors when you are not yet her Fiancé is the best option for her? If she was your daughter will you advice her to chase all her suitors for someone who is courting her and has not proposed yet?

Seriously?

You need to take a break and stop responding to relationship issues on Nairaland.



@OP, your woman is cheating on you. Cheating doesn't begin with sex. Watch your back and prepare for an alternative immediately. Note, I didn't say "break-up". Just watch your back and don't feel too relaxed, na so small small girls dey do. Just give them a few suitors (both fake and real), and they will begin to lose their sense of commitment.

baby124:

Have you given her engagement ring and set introduction date? Maybe she is too young for marriage? Why not court an older lady if you are looking for someone who will focus totally on you?

I will say it again that you need to stay away from relationship issues on Nairaland, and probably book an appointment with a Psychologist.

The young man said he has proposed to her woman right from the onset and everyone, including both families are involved and aware of their intentions.

What has a ring got to do with cheating?

Mayflowa:
Did you see how Banky W quickly announced to the world his love for Adesua Etomi and went ahead to do the introduction? That was because Adesua started crushing on Jidenna and professing her love for him on Twitter.

So ask her if she would want to marry you and marry her or at least do an introduction. Then watch if he still chats with the boy? She probably likes you but just want her last fun b4 marriage. She may be missing romance too since you are acting too Christian-like. Goodluck

This is a very wrong reason to get married. If she sees the need to have a last fun before marriage, marriage won't end the fun.

[quote author=Acidosis post=56593382]
Seriously?

You need to take a break and stop responding to relationship issues on Nairaland.



@OP, your woman is cheating on you. Cheating doesn't begin with sex. Watch your back and prepare for an alternative immediately. Note, I didn't say "break-up". Just watch your back and don't feel too relaxed, na so small small girls dey do. Just give them a few suitors (both fake and real), and they will begin to lose their sense of commitment. how can you conclude she's cheating the said guy is married na and he can't publicly display her pics on his wall without generating plenty controversy so shes not cheating . how about op you ask her what's up and stop doubting her if you truly care

She said that she is a VIRGIN

If this is a girl you want to marry, then sit her down and have a good heart to heart talk with her, here you must put all your observations and half evidence on the table

[quote author=antidisestablis post=56591527] i dont know y some people ask questions.when d ans is so glaring.

I will sit her down & ask her to chose between me & the guy.

If she chose me .... And I see her chat with the guy or his pix in her phone...

I will jeje tell her... Madam, go & marry your lover o.

I can't knowingly be sharing my bae with anyone.

That's the end.

SirVintageCock:
She said that she is a VIRGIN

Since I haven't heard sex with her and I don't intend to do that until marriage. But her action is now giving me a serious concern

Acidosis:


I will say it again that you need to stay away from relationship issues on Nairaland, and probably book an appointment with a Psychologist.

The young man said he has proposed to her woman right from the onset and everyone, including both families are involved and aware of their intentions.

What has a ring got to do with cheating?

Who is this? Why are you stalking me and my comments? Why don't you get a life and mind your business. Will you die if you make your own comments and move on or is something wrong with you? I don't need to explain anything to you. But you really need to get a life because the stalking and crazy comments from you is really becoming pathetic on your part. I can never be interested in you, neither do I even know what kind of comments you make on NL. Lastly, you opinion on NL does not matter to me in the least. So it's better you keep it to yourself. Were you not the mumu that invested in MMM Hahahahahaha. Someone with questionable and fast money mentality should not be leaving advise for anybody. Mugu

What I have a problem with is a guy uploading a picture of a lady you have proposed to and has accepted your proposal online , professing his love for her publicly( except if he just uploaded it as a friend) and she liking the post.

I thought once someone accepts a proposal you guys are engaged to be married, Christainity takes the bethrotal very serious in fact its the first stage of the marriage process. Your fiancee is liking the post of someone who claims to be her lover on FB that's are very bad sign, a red flag. She also has many of his pics on her phone (anybody can have pics of people but this one is too much to be a coincidence)

What were the exact words he used if you don't mind?
What type of chats did you see on her FB? If you could raise an eyebrow then its something you are not comfortable with.

You need to dig deeper, find out exactly what it is. There's something she's hiding if she can't receive some calls in your presence.

this is a no sex relationship so I believe you can still think rationally without being clouded by emotions.

That girl seems to be hiding something from you and all arrows point to that FB guy, I just hope she's not sleeping with him for fun and then marry you.

If you are patient enough in a matter of weeks you will see exactly what it is. It may end up being nothing.

If you find out she's sleeping with him or any other person for that matter please call it off.

Dump her sorry ass.

She's probably flirting with men. Such girls are attention seekers, they just enjoy the troll around them. It's called emotional cheating, which could mean that she's not in an active relationship with either one of them.
As an earlier commenter opined, table your evidence before her and let her know you are not comfortable with such actions. And in case of future similar occurrence, rather that imagining things in your head, simply talk it out with her. Communication is key in every relationship.
Bliss

ol' boy, pack your bags...you are about to carry an ant infested wood into your bedroom. Do not complain when the lizards come pouring in.

A word they say, is enough for the _ _ _ _.

NoToPile:
What I have a problem with is a guy uploading a picture of a lady you have proposed to and has accepted your proposal online , professing his love for her publicly( except if he just uploaded it as a friend) and she liking the post.

I thought once someone accepts a proposal you guys are engaged to be married, Christainity takes the bethrotal very serious in fact its the first stage of the marriage process. Your fiancee is liking the post of someone who claims to be her lover on FB that's are very bad sign, a red flag. She also has many of his pics on her phone (anybody can have pics of people but this one is too much to be a coincidence)

What were the exact words he used if you don't mind?
What type of chats did you see on her FB? If you could raise an eyebrow then its something you are not comfortable with.

You need to dig deeper, find out exactly what it is. There's something she's hiding if she can't receive some calls in your presence.

this is a no sex relationship so I believe you can still think rationally without being clouded by emotions.

That girl seems to be hiding something from you and all arrows point to that FB guy, I just hope she's not sleeping with him for fun and then marry you.

If you are patient enough in a matter of weeks you will see exactly what it is. It may end up being nothing.

If you find out she's sleeping with him or any other person for that matter please call it off.

Seriously I don't expect a lady who is engaged to behaving like that, actually this is what the guy wrote. *Happy birthday to one I love* ................. .Pls let me stop in order not to reveal too much identify.
Yes, when it comes to women I cannot be easily manipulated,I'm not saying I'm a saint but I have never cheated on her also I don't allow any unnecessary closeness with any lady. Before I proposed to her I waited for 10 years without having anything to do with any lady. Not having sex or hot romance with her is a personal decision I stood on that and for me being a Christian that is what is expected on me.
Concerning the Facebook chat I won't say much about that now.

NoToPile:
What I have a problem with is a guy uploading a picture of a lady you have proposed to and has accepted your proposal online , professing his love for her publicly( except if he just uploaded it as a friend) and she liking the post.

I thought once someone accepts a proposal you guys are engaged to be married, Christainity takes the bethrotal very serious in fact its the first stage of the marriage process. Your fiancee is liking the post of someone who claims to be her lover on FB that's are very bad sign, a red flag. She also has many of his pics on her phone (anybody can have pics of people but this one is too much to be a coincidence)

What were the exact words he used if you don't mind?
What type of chats did you see on her FB? If you could raise an eyebrow then its something you are not comfortable with.

You need to dig deeper, find out exactly what it is. There's something she's hiding if she can't receive some calls in your presence.

this is a no sex relationship so I believe you can still think rationally without being clouded by emotions.

That girl seems to be hiding something from you and all arrows point to that FB guy, I just hope she's not sleeping with him for fun and then marry you.

If you are patient enough in a matter of weeks you will see exactly what it is. It may end up being nothing.

If you find out she's sleeping with him or any other person for that matter please call it off.

Seriously I don't expect a lady who is engaged to behaving like that, actually this is what the guy wrote. *Happy birthday to one I love* ................. .Pls let me stop in order not to reveal too much identify.
Yes, when it comes to women I cannot be easily manipulated,I'm not saying I'm a saint but I have never cheated on her also I don't allow any unnecessary closeness with any lady. Before I proposed to her I waited for 10 years without having anything to do with any lady. Not having sex or hot romance with her is a personal decision I stood on that and for me being a Christian that is what is expected of me.
Concerning the Facebook chat I won't say much about that now. Thanks for your contribution.

GoldCircle:
ol' boy, pack your bags...you are about to carry an ant infested wood into your bedroom. Do not complain when the ants come pouring in.

A word they say, is enough for the _ _ _ _.

Pls stop speaking in parable oooo, pls say it in plain language.

emmyN:
She's probably flirting with men. Such girls are attention seekers, they just enjoy the troll around them. It's called emotional cheating, which could mean that she's not in an active relationship with either one of them.
As an earlier commenter opined, table your evidence before her and let her know you are not comfortable with such actions. And in case of future similar occurrence, rather that imagining things in your head, simply talk it out with her. Communication is key in every relationship.
Bliss

My guy it seems you are on the way oooo, she loves attention more than anything, she is a kind of lady u must call several times a day, she calls too very often and also she loves chatting very well. She out of city for now we chatted about it initially she was not taking it very well later she succumbed and she admitted that d guy has wooed her before but she said she is not dating him. She later said she is sorry and she will do sth about d closeness with the guy.

antidisestablis:

Seriously I don't expect a lady who is engaged to behaving like that, actually this is what the guy wrote. *Happy birthday to one I love* ................. .Pls let me stop in order not to reveal too much identify.
Yes, when it comes to women I cannot be easily manipulated,I'm not saying I'm a saint but I have never cheated on her also I don't allow any unnecessary closeness with any lady. Before I proposed to her I waited for 10 years without having anything to do with any lady. Not having sex or hot romance with her is a personal decision I stood on that and for me being a Christian that is what is expected on me.
Concerning the Facebook chat I won't say much about that now.

Bro I think you worry too much.

1. The said guy who posted on facebook is married and his wife may see the post. Meaning he would not publicly do any thing that could jeopardize his own marriage and reputation with friends. You can easily deduce from this that the said facebook post is just a friendly banter, which the poster's wife and friends who see it have no problem with. So, why do YOU have a problem with it then?

2. Some ladies do not feel comfy with fellow ladies but have tonnes of males as friends. Asking them to cut off from these males is asking them to have no friend at all. When she gets engaged, most of her male friends will give her space. They are still around because you have not officially proposed.


Conclusion:

She is just the friendly and free type, and there is no evidence that she is cheating.
Be a man and outgrow your insecurities if you really love her. Accept her personality and help her get better. Otherwise, call off the relationship and step aside for someone who is mature and deserves her.

antidisestablis:

Pls stop speaking in parable oooo, pls say it in plain language.

If you are not grown enough to count your teeth with your tongue, then you are not man enough to be talking marriage.

No apologies!

AllforJesus7:


Bro I think you worry too much.

1. The said guy who posted on facebook is married and his wife may see the post. Meaning he would not publicly do any thing that could jeopardize his own marriage and reputation with friends. You can easily deduce from this that the said facebook post is just a friendly banter, which the poster's wife and friends who see it have no problem with. So, why do YOU have a problem with it then?

2. Some ladies do not feel comfy with fellow ladies but have tonnes of males as friends. Asking them to cut off from these males is asking them to have no friend at all. When she gets engaged, most of her male friends will give her space. They are still around because you have not officially proposed.


Conclusion:

She is just the friendly and free type, and there is no evidence that she is cheating.
Be a man and outgrow your insecurities if you really love her. Accept her personality and help her get better. Otherwise, call off the relationship and step aside for someone who is mature and deserves her.

I'm not saying I was preventing her from having friends perhaps she has many male friends, there are some I know that I do chat with occasionally. But if u notice some things in d life of a woman u want to spend your life with is better u do some finding before it is too late. If she cannot receive some calls in my presence though I don't touch her phone but sometimes she delete her chat history what else is she hiding I'm not accusing her of anything yet because there is no concrete evidence.
Marriage is life time journey I cannot avoid to marry someone I cannot trust, the examples I sighted is just few of several things I have discovered about her, so for me to find out some things about d person I want to marry u call that insecurity, is my life to live not yours . I won't wait till I catch her in bed with a man. To avoid story that touches I need to take actions now! Thanks

antidisestablis:

Seriously I don't expect a lady who is engaged to behaving like that, actually this is what the guy wrote. *Happy birthday to one I love* ................. .Pls let me stop in order not to reveal too much identify.
Yes, when it comes to women I cannot be easily manipulated,I'm not saying I'm a saint but I have never cheated on her also I don't allow any unnecessary closeness with any lady. Before I proposed to her I waited for 10 years without having anything to do with any lady. Not having sex or hot romance with her is a personal decision I stood on that and for me being a Christian that is what is expected on me.
Concerning the Facebook chat I won't say much about that now.

Hmm to the one I love ..., he may just have a crush on her or something and it could be more you never can tell.

Dig deeper , and since you are a Christian pray hard about this, nothing is hidden.

Like you said one cannot afford to marry someone one doesnt trust.

You will find the truth.