i married last year October to my husband, i am a marketer in a bank and since i married my husband he has been suspecting me of double dating especially because of the job i do in the bank, now he has requested us to take a blood oath that if any any of us does hv sex aside from both of us, that the person will go mad.

pls advise me on what to do.should i take the oath or not?

You see, one problem with all of us is that we strip the contradicting part of our stories when seeking for advice.
I dont know you but i believe you are not telling us everything.
Men dont just demand for such without genuine evidence because "you hardly see a man that wants to be tied with one lady forever"[except me ].
On a serious note, our advises here will harm you more because we are dealing with quarter information.
people will soon start to tell you what to do, especially this our Nigerian girls who live in america.
if you want to take their advice, migrate to america first
otherwise call your husband and prove to him you are not raising up your gown for MD.

dont go for any oath, its old fashioned. thanks,

@Sam milla.

if you care to know, that is exactly why i am seeking for an advise, i really do not want him to be mad in the future because of some silly oath tha we took,i am pretty sure of myself but he keeps insisting that we must do it, he wants to show me he cares and loves me and he is afraid people will take me away from him moreso when i meet alot of faces as a markerter everyday.

i am just skeptical because of my belief and at the same time my mind tells me to go for it since it will make me know forever that my husband is mine.

just in case if you care to know, i am also an officer of the bank and i still advise you to know how you talk to people esp the ones you dont know.

the world is so so small

rosejen:

@Sam milla.
just in case if you care to know, i am also an officer of the bank and i still advise you to know how you talk to people esp the ones you dont know.
the world is so so small

did u have to make that statement?
i thougth you asked for advice.
i bet you ll scare away useful advice if you attack who said what and not what they said.

Don't ever go for it,no matter what;cos you might just go mad someday. Cm'n, your husband should know more than that. Besides, if there's no trust in marriage, its not gonna last. your husband should learn to trust you. I don't know if you cheat though; if you do, God Almighty would def judge you.

chaircover:

Rosejen is absolutely right. She asked for advise knowing fully well that all sorts of people will respond and its up to her to decide which one she goes with if at all any.

So how someone can come along and rubbish anyone’s advise before it is made is condescending to say the least. Just as there are Nigerian based peeps who are absolute rubbish at their marriages, there are American peeps in the same boat. Common sense has nothing to do with location.

Back to the topic (that’s if I am allowed to say anything being an UK wife LOL) If this oath thing goes against your innermost judgement, then don’t do it. Personally I wont do it for whatever reason but its your descion at the end of the day.

Call your man and have a heart to heart discussion with him. Let him voice his fears; be it late hours working in the office, your dress style, phone calls whatever it may be and try and allay his fears. This is not the time to fight but to calmly explain to him the situation.

Include him in your “office life world” i.e talk to him about the events of the day, invite him to office events, ask him to pick you up from work, invite him to lunch, show off your husband at work and so on.

Try and only bring back responsible female colleagues so that he knows the types of women his wife communicates with at work, switch off your work phone when you get home and leave it in places he can see it and have access to it if he wants to.

In a nutshell don’t do anything that will give him cause to doubt you and the trust will get better from that point.

It is a trust issue and with wisdom and reassurance from your side, your man will eventually be in a position to trust you completely.

she made a lot of points here. the answer to your problems lies there.
for the second time in less than an hour,

DONT TAKE ANY OATH.
The one you took at the alter is exactly the reason why he has the right to suspect you.
A second oath will escalate and complicate issues.
At the end, you or him will end up dead for nothing.

@poster, chaircover has said all. Don't go for it as most oaths taken outside the marital vows backfires.

Thanks to you Chaircover and all of you who made valuable contributions, i was kind of confused before but i am straight now.Will stand my ground and say no.

oat what?

Dont take it.

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THAT OATH!

You can swear in front of each other or even a pastor but a blood oath? NO WAY!

Dont even swear!

do not do it.

Dear as everyone has said, dont take any oath. This issue is an issue of trust. Moreover position you are is a threat to him. I want u to kno dat he loves u,thats why he made such a request. Please respect him. carry him along in all u do. Give him the gist of your encounters in the day. Seek his advise on issues. Dont keep him at a distance.cary him along

rosejen:

at the same time my mind tells me to go for it since it will make me know forever that my husband is mine.

And forever you're his.
I would say go for it if it doesn't involve going to a shrine. If it's only something you do together.
And you'll both be stuck together for life. Isn't that what you both wanted when you decided to get married. Till death do you part?
And if you decide not to do it are you not confirming his worst fears or telling him you plan on straying in future?

don' take that oath it is very delicate

I really appreciate all your individual contributions, i wasnt sure of what i am supposed to do or say to him before because i was scared of saying no may be then he will his fear of distrust on me will increase but i was also scared of offending God, who said our yes should yes and no should be yes.

I love my husband and i am sure i will keep myself for him forever and i do know he loves me too But what gave him that idea of us taking a blood oath is what i do not know, yet i was lured on the fact that if i take the oath then i would know forever that i wouldnt share my husband with anybody in life and forever too.

Funny enough i told my relatives about it and they advised me to go for it, that i am a lucky woman for a man to pledge his life and DIGNITY for me.

I wont say i am confused here cos i am not, i wont go for it cos i love my husband and i wouldnt like him to regret his actions LATER, then people will blame me for nt stopping him.

Thanks to you all.

who said our yes should yes and no should be yes

pls i am sorry for this error above, (no should be no)

^^^

33"Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, "You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.' 34 But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35 nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 But let your "Yes' be "Yes,' and your "No,' "No.' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.
(Matthew 5:33-37, New King James Version)

You're welcome 

for ur husband to say such a thing, something must have prompted that maybe ur dressing, ur fone conversation, ur kind of friends, time u gets home and ur attitude towards him.

u may have to work on urself a little. change some things and see the difference

@poster, but you took an oath the day u got married! The marriage vow is an oath for goodness sake. Besides he is asking you to take another one to ensure that neither of you cheats while you are still married. On one side i dont see anything wrong with both parties taking an oath although i wont go as far as "blood covenant". If you feel you will struggle to keep your side of the bargain please dont do it.

rosejen:

i married last year October to my husband, i am a marketer in a bank and since i married my husband he has been suspecting me of double dating especially because of the job i do in the bank, now he has requested us to take a blood oath that if any any of us does hv sex aside from both of us, that the person will go mad.

pls advise me on what to do.should i take the oath or not?

My goodness, what has this world come to. I thought the marriage vows you took in front of a priest, witnesses and God were good enough oath for two people to understand the depth of their love and its true meaning. My word there's even a contract to proof that an oath was taken by two people.

Why a second oath, what is this?

I am worried about the next thing that your husband will ask you to do to prove your love for him, or is it the next thing that you will contemplating to do just to prove to your husband how much you love him.

You know what as a matter of fact I think this is just a joke. There's no such people dont do such things unless if they come from the stone age, and your husband being human and a new age man Ithink all he needs is a hug. Just give the poor guy a hug and tell him you love him, and that he must please stop playing games with your head otherwise you'll age before time,

stay on the safe side don't take it, an Oath is a big no no no for me.
if he's so insecure then leave the benefit of doubt to him or he can beat it.

Kx:

did u have to make that statement?
i thougth you asked for advice.
i bet you ll scare away useful advice if you attack who said what and not what they said.

Wondering what this statement of hers, has to do with the price of fish in the market too bro

Pls do not go for any OATH, never ever swear by anything, its the most dangerous kind of chains you can put your self in.

You rather offend your husband than with God, believe me your life will be most miserable.

He himself aint no saint (No human being is) and since Jesus paid such a great price to set you free why put yourself back in bondage.

Girl just be faithful to your husband and then challenge him to find you guilty

ugo_2u:

Pls do not go for any OATH, never  ever swear by anything, its the most dangerous kind of chains you can put your self in.

You rather offend your husband than with God, believe me your life will be most miserable.

He himself aint no  saint (No human being is) and since Jesus paid such a great price to set you free why put yourself back in bondage.

Girl just be faithful to your husband and then challenge him to find you guilty

Perfect answer!

My dear , please and please Don't take the oath. I beg you in the name of God.

The devil is wicked and as soon as you take the oath, things would change.

What if you get raped or sumthin' ( just saying).

Are you giving your husband reasons not to trust you? Search yourself and make amends.

The oath is a nonsense idea! I dint know civilized people still do such a thing rather than dialogue!

rosejen plz dont do it

remember he is a man and men tend to cheat someday he might forget about the oath and might want to play the usual mr loverboy some men do now you know the consequences.

chaircover has said it all.

luck.

All I could sense is insecurity and unwarranted jealousy on your husband's part. For cry out loud the marriage is too early to be putting this kind of strain. It is uncalled for and neither of you need it. You might out of your desperation to please him want to go for it. But life is crazy, life is harsh and life is unpredictable. There are so much of uncertainty ahead of us that we need to do everything to lighten our burden today.
God forbid, what happen if you fall a victim of rape. You become mad despite your innocence.
What happen if he suddenly catch 'agrow' on a trip to Calabar or elsewhere, and there is a quicky, you come back to take care of mad man.
If either of you fall short of the oath, and one run mad. What cure does it have for your marriage? What good will it be to your children, or are you planning not to have children?
What happen if suddenly, there are life threatening challenge, and you both need to move on in life.
My dear sister, if he is scared that despite your marriage, you can still leave him, then get pregnant and have a baby. That will pre-occupy his mind.
But never swear/take an oath of that nature. There is more to what meet the eyes.
I so submit.

@poster
There is more to your husband's suspicion than the reasons you gave us here. Try and find out