Good afternoon, am a 26 years old lady and am getting married next month, but anytime I have an argument with my fiance he insults me,telling me am a fool, an idiot, etc, have tried to correct him several times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it, just this morning we had an argument and he started again calling me all sort of names. Am starting to get really scared, because if he's doing this when we are engaged what will he do to me when when we are married

Does he have enough money to take care of you and your future family?

Does he show you love?

Does he care for your well-being?

Does he fvck you real good?

If the answer to these questions is yes then I see no reason why ordinary insult should spoil your marriage, unless he beats you. Insult him back - call him a bigger fool, a he-goat, a maluu, a stupendous ignoramus calamity - and get used to it. When kids start coming he won't have time to insult you again.

Marriage is for better or worse!

This is just a preamble of how he will unleash his wrestling/boxing skills to administer 50kg worth of punches on your face in conjunction with "smack down" when he finally pays your bride price. These are the salient qualities of potential wife beaters yet you choose to stick to such a man probably because your source of livelihood depends on him. (it's very obvious). I mean do you think marriage is a "magician" that changes people completely from beasts to angels , especially a man that is already calling you a fool or an idiot even without legal ownership of you?

This is what to expect when you want to marry a man by force because of what you stand to gain. You tend to cope with any poo due to the fact that your self esteem has been bruised. I hope this will serve as a source of lesson to many Nairaland ladies who are always opening irrelevant threads to express their love for already made men and disgust for broke guys. Most of them need to see how some of these men treat these "long throat" ladies like poo before marriage. When you have little or no contribution to a man's success, why won't he see you as an idiot?

Since you can see the signs of dangers with your korokoro eyes yet you're bent on getting married to this same person next month, be ready to face the consequences of your actions and live with it. That was how my female friend despised all advice and went head to marry a man with similar character with the OP's fiance, but now, she has returned back to her parents home due to assault.

Sha don't later come and open an irrelevant thread asking us ways to cope with your temperamental husband because no one here will be able to clean you mess.

Anyway, I wish you an abusive marriage life in advance with your potential wife beater

To all those people quoting me to say rubbish. The ugly truth always sounds like bashing

You're right to be scared. You're in an abusive relationship.

Let your conscience guide you aright.

PrickGetSize:
Does he have enough money to take care of you and your future family?

Does he show you love?

Does he care for your well-being?

Does he fvck you real good?

If the answer to these questions is yes then I see no reason why ordinary insult should spoil your marriage, unless he beats you. Insult him back - call him a bigger fool, a he-goat, a maluu, a stupendous ignoramus calamity - and get used to it. When kids start coming he won't have time to insult you again.


Marriage is for better or worse!

I beg to disagree with the emboldened because I know of a man who still beats his wife of about 60 years (a grandmother for that matter oooo), so forget it.

I want you to know that a misogynist will always remain a misogynist and not even child bearing will change him. Misogynists don't usually retire, only government workers do

Please make a research and ask those women whose husbands normally beat them, and you will see that many of them saw those battering tendencies in him during courtship but they tend to overlook it

It's just a matter of time before the man graduates from verbal abuse to physical combat when he starts taking full responsibility of her

he is a misogynist and a potential wife beater.

And you still in the relationship?
Lol

You aren't married yet but you two already argue.I think your home will be one combative home.

Enjoy.

my sister leave that relationship now !
It will hurt but you deserve a better man

insult him back so he will have a taste of his own pills
if he beats you or gets angry about it
my sister talk to him, if he wouldn't change have a rethink
cos some verbal abuse can hurt pax beating
and verbal abuse kills emotional

Yoruba say na okpari... Its obvious he's going to beat you anyhow when you get married to him

tosyne2much:
This is just a preamble of how he will unleash the beast in him when you enter his house. These are the qualities of potential wife beaters

You can see the signs of dangers with your eyes yet LOVE don becloud your reasoning

Anyway, I wish you an abusive marriage life in advance

Exactly...
I'm not saying there shouldn't be disagreements in a relationship, but there should be respect from both parties even when the disagreement is heated up. There are words/attitude you shouldn't use on your partner no matter what. A broken engagement is far better than a broken marriage.. he is doing this now, then what is he going to do when you are both married?
And some words are worst than beating trust me.. I know from experience
But if you know you can "endure" it, well, fine, you know yourself better than we do.
But this is another form of an abusive relationship, it doesn't have to be physical.

amokeme:

Exactly...
I'm not saying there shouldn't be disagreements in a relationship, but there should be respect from both parties even when the disagreement is heated up. There are words/attitude you shouldn't use on your partner no matter what. A broken engagement is far better than a broken marriage.. he is doing this now, then what is he going to do when you are both married?
And some words are worst than beating trust me.. I know from experience
But if you know you can "endure" it, well, fine, you know yourself better than we do.
But this is a other form of an abusive relationship, it doesn't have to be physical.

You're very right Tobi

No matter how aggravated one can be, there are some derogatory names you shouldn't be calling your loved one. I mean how would you call someone you claim to love a "fool" or an "idiot"

Please let's not embellish what's bad. It doesn't just make sense

A guy who doesn't have regard for you, calls your all sort at the slightest provocation is who you want to marry next month...I pity your case 'cause you're make another thread of how your husband beats you, and has reduce your self-worth.

Mtcheew!.

PrickGetSize:
Does he have enough money to take care of you and your future family?

Does he show you love?

Does he care for your well-being?

Does he fvck you real good?

If the answer to these questions is yes then I see no reason why ordinary insult should spoil your marriage, unless he beats you. Insult him back - call him a bigger fool, a he-goat, a maluu, a stupendous ignoramus calamity - and get used to it. When kids start coming he won't have time to insult you again.

Marriage is for better or worse!

You must be kidding me. When the kids come, coupling with the fact that his responsibilities increases the insults will be worst, and beating is inevitable.

Sis better u find yr way out of dat engagement u are in.... Dnt let love 2 blind yr eyes in regards 2 dis matter....
It's better 2 quit d courtship dan u quitting ur marriage at d end... Make a right decision b4 it is 2 late

chynie:
insult him back so he will have a taste of his own pills
if he beats you or gets angry about it
my sister talk to him, if he wouldn't change have a rethink
cos some verbal abuse can hurt pax beating
and verbal abuse kills emotional

Talk? One thing you need to understand about men like this is that, they see absolutely nothing wrong with what they are doing. As in nothing! Let her talk to him and you will hear how he turns the whole thing on her head.
It's in him already, he needs to be with someone who doesn't see anything wrong with the insults. That's the only way, but the change aspect? Forget it

PrickGetSize:
Does he have enough money to take care of you and your future family?

Does he show you love?

Does he care for your well-being?

Does he fvck you real good?

If the answer to these questions is yes then I see no reason why ordinary insult should spoil your marriage, unless he beats you. Insult him back - call him a bigger fool, a he-goat, a maluu, a stupendous ignoramus calamity - and get used to it. When kids start coming he won't have time to insult you again.

Marriage is for better or worse!

verbal abuse is just as worse as physical abuse

habeny:
Good afternoon, am a 26 years old lady and am getting married next month, but anytime I have an argument with my fiance he insults me,telling me am a fool, an idiot, etc, have tried to correct him several times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it, just this morning we had an argument and he started again calling me all sort of names. Am starting to get really scared, because if he's doing this when we are engaged what will he do to me when when we are married

is he the one sponsoring u in school?
is he the one paying ur house rent? m
do u totally depend on him for everything?
if the answer to these questions is yes..then that explains why he is acting like that.if u marry him its obvious he is goin to turn u to this

habeny:
Good afternoon, am a 26 years old lady and am getting married next month, but anytime I have an argument with my fiance he insults me,telling me am a fool, an idiot, etc, have tried to correct him several times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it, just this morning we had an argument and he started again calling me all sort of names. Am starting to get really scared, because if he's doing this when we are engaged what will he do to me when when we are married

Run from him. You are in an abusive and violent relationship.



Don't tie the knots with him for now. If you disobey me i will recommend good orthopedic hospital you can go to when he starts breaking your bones

PrickGetSize:
Does he have enough money to take care of you and your future family?

Does he show you love?

Does he care for your well-being?

Does he fvck you real good?

If the answer to these questions is yes then I see no reason why ordinary insult should spoil your marriage, unless he beats you. Insult him back - call him a bigger fool, a he-goat, a maluu, a stupendous ignoramus calamity - and get used to it. When kids start coming he won't have time to insult you again.

Marriage is for better or worse!

I can bet you are still waiting for your SSCE with that trash you typed

Get married quickly..... Bt if it were to be that i'm you..i wil folow al the comments before me except the first

tosyne2much:
I disagree with the emboldened because I know of a man who still beats his wife of about 50 years who is already a grandmother

The insults will even multiply when he keeps taking her responsibility

Exactly

QueenOfNepal:
I can bet you are still waiting for your SSCE with that trash you typed

I swear... Lol

what can i say, like you said ur wedding is close so enjoy ur new home

Only poor, wretched and frustrated men beat their wives!

no matter the advise we give you, you'll still go ahead with the marriage, and one day you're going to take a real beating from him, so keep yourself ready

Benita27:
A guy who doesn't have regard for you, calls your all sort at the slightest provocation is who you want to marry next month...I pity your case 'cause you're make another thread of how your husband beats you, and has reduce your self-worth.

Mtcheew!.

so in other words let's get prepared for that thread lol

He will beat you blue black when you become his own.

CheapSunglass:
And you still in the relationship?
Lol

You aren't married yet but you two already argue.I think your home will be one combative home.

Enjoy.

like battle of baghdad

habeny:
Good afternoon, am a 26 years old lady and am getting married next month, but anytime I have an argument with my fiance he insults me,telling me am a fool, an idiot, etc, have tried to correct him several times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it, just this morning we had an argument and he started again calling me all sort of names. Am starting to get really scared, because if he's doing this when we are engaged what will he do to me when when we are married

I do too wen de chic act stupid but i warn before action/sanction. So it is her choice. Maybe u act dump/ stupid, stronghead......

U have managed to hide wat u did but only tok about his.....remeember 2 sides to all tory.

Stop ur drama queen behaviour and see changes.

habeny:
Good afternoon, am a 26 years old lady and am getting married next month, but anytime I have an argument with my fiance he insults me,telling me am a fool, an idiot, etc, have tried to correct him several times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it, just this morning we had an argument and he started again calling me all sort of names. Am starting to get really scared, because if he's doing this when we are engaged what will he do to me when when we are married

You already know what to do. Don't hesitate!