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The Agony Of A Male Child In Nigeria - Family - Nairaland

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The Agony Of A Male Child In Nigeria by donpapa(m): 9:31pm On Jun 23, 2017
Born on the first Sunday in the month of June 1981 in Nigeria. My parents, just like an average citizen could manage to afford a Government maternity hospital in Lagos Island, many of you born during this time know the hospital I am talking about.
I was the second child of my parents. On the day of my delivery at the maternity home, there were many child births but the staff on duty were not enough to give all the assistance needed to the new mothers and especially their babies. Due to lack of space, human resources and time, female babies were only allowed to stay in the hospitals longer than male counterparts. Some 2 years later, although I was still a child, my little sister arrived and my mother’s friend too had a baby girl. We all grew together.

In the primary school the three of us attended, their toilets were better and neater. The two girls always had a rain coat when it was raining and I often was without one. During play, if the girls cried, I was always held responsible for it and beaten to calm them. I guess they learned how to cry a lot from this obvious over-pampering and I was always punished each time they yelled for any reason whatsoever. There was a day I decided to cry over an obvious cheating from my sister, that day I got tired of crying because my parents never knew I was crying until I slept off. I was very pained and developed some hatred for my sister. I had asked my parents on two different occasions if I was their child too like my sister.

At secondary school, our parents always ensured the girl had almost all they asked but not me. They always said ‘they were trying to prevent her from having boyfriends early’.

At the university, my parents’ love for her knew no bounds as they always visited her at school with plenty of ‘provision’ groceries and extra new dresses. There are several occasions when my parents came to school (university of Lagos) and never bordered to see me. When I challenged them, they casually responded ‘you a man and besides, she is your sister’. My sister always had more money than me and lived a better live than me. My pains grew and overwhelmed me. I always borrowed money from her to make up for my feeding. She was very nice and helpful.

Today, I am 36 married, at some point in our Branch, my married boss is a woman and she is my sister (2 different surnames). There were rumors she dated the boss to earn the position but I don’t believe it. She is married to a richer guy and continued in the affluence lifestyle. At family meetings, I was expected to give more, do more and she always insisted that she is only a wife and that her husband should be the one to pay her contribution in the family. There was a time she said, she was no longer a member of the family, she only borrowed the surname while growing up and she now have a new surname.

Now, our parents no longer have source of income and the whole family (extended family also) have insisted that I take responsibility for their feeding and upkeep as a MALE child. In my own home as a husband and father, I am also responsible for my wife and children and in-laws. School fees, rent, clothing, estate issues, car issues, PHCN, phone, gadgets, birthdays, anniversary, holidays (Valentine, Christmas, Easter, Children's’ day, mothers’ day and even fathers’ day. EVERYTHING IS ME.

Recently, women have been empowered, so my food dozes have reduced and so is sex. We eat out more often. Sex is rationed as I can’t ask whenever she is tired. Even the s*x, I am DIRECTLY responsible for it (if I don’t ask, no s*x), (If I don pamper, no sex) (during s*x, I am supposed to be a man and do ALL THE WORK while she lies down). If anything goes wrong in the family, my pastor and elders says I am the head, I should fix it, her friends tell her to leave me if she doesn’t get enough care, my friends rarely help (maybe they have similar issues too). I can’t cry, I have been emotionally molested as a MALE CHILD since birth, therefore I can’t express my feelings anymore, no one cares really.

I recently lost my job, and decided to use my car for taxi in Lagos. I realized that most riders are ladies and 40% of their fares are paid for by MEN. More ladies are with iPhones and other very expensive gadgets than the male counterparts. Many favors are readily available for ladies apparently from child birth. Many times, I come home late at night from the taxi job without meeting food at home, my wife always complained she was tired after watching Africa Magic and Zee World. I can’t complain!

My wife eventually left me and took the kids to my parents where I send money regularly for upkeep. BTW, my wife is my mother’s friend daughter, the same that was given birth to on the same day with my sister. My father health demands for more money and I am dying too. The ONLY things I was raised to work for as a man are S*X and ALCOHOL. I can’t remember what other benefits exists in this life. It appears we are here to suffer and slave for women.

Jobless ladies naturally trade their body for money, what can a man do other than other crimes? Prostitution is crime too, but the world seem to overlook it. The direct and indirect impact of prostitution on the society are: ritual killings, kidnapping, armed robbery, unstable marriages. All corrupt politicians, armed robbers and ritual killers spend 99.9% of their money on S*X and the rest on Alcohol. My parent worked to prevent my sister from early boyfriends and s*x (with boys to have money), what did they do to prevent me from male-oriented social vices?

A kidnapper was arrested recently, some are asking that the wife (or girlfriends) be spared. He pays for his crime alone… Who inherits the wealth of thieves? Who enjoys the wealth of greedy politicians? Who are the benefactors of yahoo yahoo and other forms of stealing? Many cases, mothers are aware of their children’s involvement in yahoo yahoo and other crimes but they encouraged it because of the MONEY they get from it. So also are girlfriends and wives. All of this continues, if a woman cries in the street, home or anywhere a man must be punished for it. Those days, a man’s consolation was free food and s*x (the only apparent GAIN of man on earth), but today all that have been taken away from marriages – with emancipation campaigns.

At old age, as a husband and father, the children naturally favor their mothers. Isn't it enough cruelty for a male child? What a life of a male child! May the Good Lord help couples and families understand their selves better

..........Culled from Facebook
Re: The Agony Of A Male Child In Nigeria by donpapa(m): 9:44pm On Jun 23, 2017
Re: The Agony Of A Male Child In Nigeria by NevetsIbot(m): 11:11pm On Jun 23, 2017
I'm the only son here too man.... ain't easy. Everyone expects you to read law or medicine. balderdash
Re: The Agony Of A Male Child In Nigeria by StevensJojo(f): 2:58am On Jun 24, 2017
We should all be feminists.I keep saying this.I recently had a baby and it made me think.A baby boy is not different from a girl.Onlu difference is the privates.They cry the same way and act the same way.They are not stronger than thw female child.But the society just conditions them.Theyl lie to you even when the child is a baby that boys eat more than girls.Its a lie.Men are taught to eat large rations as they grow.Everything is taught.
Sometimes the unnecessary pressure begins to get to get to some men.Too much pressure.The woman on the other hand is put through so much.All unnecessary values and expectations created by man.
All society taught yet ruining our ability to enjoy our brief stay here on earth
Re: The Agony Of A Male Child In Nigeria by Nobody: 5:16am On Jun 24, 2017
Cry me a river.
Re: The Agony Of A Male Child In Nigeria by Fkforyou(m): 6:03am On Jun 24, 2017
It's unfortunate that he is 36 and still yet doesn't know what to do.

He needs to start taking responsibilities (this includes of his feelings) and stop putting the blame on everyone else.

It's obvious his passive and selfless nature isn't going to get him anywhere. He needs to be more selfish.

Anyway sha...Life isn't fair to everyone. He should learn to deal with it.
Re: The Agony Of A Male Child In Nigeria by tensazangetsu20(m): 2:54pm On Jun 24, 2017
The guy is a very big idiot. Did anyone tell him to take responsibility for his wifes family problems. The rate of dependency in this continent is too high and that's one of the reason it is backward. No one will ever force me to take up any responsibility I don't want. My loyalty alone is to my mother and my unborn children and no one else.

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