I want to start a 'likely scenario' series of Graphic Jokes here based on what is happening on Romance section of this forum.
People like so much to exxagerate the real stories.
My work will be to post the possible graphic scenarios of each topic based on my experience as a patriotic Citizen of Nigeria and Earth.

I will also be posting the link to the original post.
If we dont believe their stories, we dont have to doubt it but we can make fun of it and laugh over it.

LIKELY SCENARIO 1 {LS1}

Our first post is about Electra,{CONGRATS ELECTRA, YOUR POST GAVE BIRTH TO THIS IDEA}  {as told by Electra herself} If you dont read, you wont understand.

i met this guy like 2wks ago,i was reading in class and i saw him staring at me seriously but i dinna think of it as odd, i mean its a free world
we live in after hours of staring he came,sat beside me we got talking and we changed numbers cos he looked decent enough, not knowing that was my
undoing o,ever since then he calls me like 20 times a day,stalks me,as in this guy knows where i stay, i dunno how he got my address,all of a sudden my
picture is his phone wallpaper {copied my facebook picture  },i told him like two days ago that i dont like his creepy attitude nd this guy told me he is in love
with me that he stares at my picture before he goes to bed and first thing in the morning . . . i thot twas all a joke until dis afternoon when he called nd i told
him i wasn'tcool with the friendship that he should stop calling me he dropped,before i could turn my head he was at my doorstep crying and begging me not
to leave him {as if we were ever together} i told him to leave my house all for him to start threatening me that he's gon get me dead or alive,since then he's
been sending creepy and scary texts to my phone,i got back home from school hours ago only for me to see a threatening note by
my doorstep saying its either him for me or no one else am kinda scared o wat do i do ?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-387023.0.html

Here is our  LIKELY SCENARIO FOR ELECTRA.




Electra : Brian remember you promised to call me.
Brian : Sure I will.
E : Are you coming to our house today ?
B : nope, i am going to somewhere .
E : will you come tomorrow ?
B : maybe. i will see.

THE NEXT DAY, BRIAN SHOWS UP AT HER HOUSE.

AFTER FEW MINUTES, SHE DIALS HER FRIEND WHO LIVES CLOSE.

Electra : Jane can you come to my house, i want you to escort me to see someone off.
Jane : Who is that ?
E : some guy who is tripping over me ever since he saw me but i don't like him.
J : wow! Thats bad. I will be there now cos i need a boyfriend, maybe he will like me.
E : uhm , dont worry , dont come. i will see him off alone.

Electra sees brian off


Electra : You know i love you so much brian, i can even die for you.
Brian : really, are you sure ?
E : of course i m sure.
B : thats sweet Electra. I will call you in four days time. bye.

our girl rushes to nairaland.
[img]http://collegecandy.files./2008/08/25/girl-at-computer.jpg[/img]


Venue : Romance section.
Topic :  How Would You Handle Obsession
url : https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-387023.0.html
content : He said he will die if i don't become his girlfriend. people please help me. what should i do ?

Sam Milla : you dont need our help because we dont believe your story.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sam u are too much

OUR SECOND LIKELY SCENARIO is about another Young lady that needs our advice.

Our girl Temilade£ just discovered how every man is a liar. How they never come out straight with what they wanted.

Why can't men be straight forward with girls if they are only after intimacy, why can't they say,  before we start this, i want to let you know that it's purely going to be intimacy and no other stuff involved rather than act like you want a relationship with them and have intimacy with them, then never call them or avoid them. Why cant you just say the truth and stop leading us on, thinking we can't handle the truth, Trust me there ARE girls out there, who just want intimacy, guys tell me why?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-387686.0.html

OUR LIKELY SCENARIO GOES THUS.
[img]http://www.golivewire.com/forums/img.cgi?i=34142[/img]

Temilade£ : i will never have anything to do with this kind of man. look at how ugly he is. look at his big eyes. Even if he ask me to marry him, i will never do such a thing. men are just disgusting. i m out of here. to hell with marriage. i have work. i m independent.

THEN THE GIGOLO SHOWED UP WITH A COOL CAR


Temilade£ : OMG!! I might as well take back my words on marriage. he is so cute. look at his muscles, if only he can hold me in those arms. EVEN FOR ONE NIGHT.

GIGOLO READS HER THOUGHTS AND DECIDED TO GIVE IT A SHOT {THEY ARE PRETTY GOOD AT IT, ITS PART OF THEIR JOBS ANYWAY}

GIGOLLO : Hi sweetie.
Temilade£ : Hello
: May i know you more ?
Temilade£ : I am Temilade£, i live in ikeja, i work in GTBank, I own a fashion shop in VI, i never had a boyfriend, i never gave men chance, i m single and searching, i m 21 years old {+deducted 7 years}

: would you go out with me ?
Temilade£ : Yes but just for casual friendship, no strings attached. nothing more. i like male friends .


GIGOLLO FINDS HIS WAY THE FOLLOWING MORNING AFTER A NIGHT MARATHON SESSION
AND OUR GIRL CALLS HIS PHONE IN THE EVENING AFTER MUCH FANTASIZING OVER ABOUT PROPOSING MARRIAGE.


: Who is this ?
Temilade£ : its me now, dont you remember voice ?
: {after thinking for a while} please remind me, i ma busy at work now and cant think well.
Temilade£ : its temi now, remember last night in a hotel

HANGS HIS PHONE AND OUR GIRL RUSHES TO NAIRALAND. WHERE OF COURSE HER TEAM MATES ARE EAGERLY WAITING TO VERBERLY PUNISH THE EVIL CALLED MEN



VENUE : ROMANCE SECTION
TOPIC : Why Can't Men Be Straightforward With Girls?
url : https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-387686.0.html
CONTENT : Why can't men be straight forward with girls if they are only after intimacy BLAH BLAH BLAH


SAM MILLA : "Look not in the body of a man but in his mind for when the body fails you, his mind cannot"

Sam Milla:

OKEKE!!!!!

lol more plss

Our feature girl on LS3 {LIKELY SCENARIO 3} Is olugirl.
Olugirl is a Nigerian woman in London who suddenly discoveres that Nigerian men in London are liars.
Her latest catch stopped picking her calls.

read from olugirls' post

Do relationships really work?  I cant believe it's me ALWAYS meeting the wrong men.
I am not a bad person, not ugly (not necessarily miss world), not a bad girl (tho not an angel). I go to church,
like all d usual things girls like, but still homely, well brought up but being very unlucky with men, especially Nigerian men.
the last one just told me that he thought he would prefer a casual relationship, cos i said he never picks my calls. Yet kept begging me after i broke it off, obvious;y wants to eat his cake and have it!
I have tried dating outside Nigerian men and while it was a great relationship, didnt think there was that click btwn us.
I am not one to generalise but just find Nigerian men (the ones ve met in London) to usually be liars, cheats and not truthful to what they say at the start.
At my wits end, dying of boredom, feel very sad and sorry for myself, maybe become a lesbian (lol)
I am no looser, i have a masters degree and work professionally mainly with whites in the city,
-My standards are not ridiculously high as my ex was some 9ja bar man, but dumped him quickly when i saw he was trying to borrow money from me etc
-Those that said i should look at myself as mayb d problem, i did and you know what conclusion i came too, i am a good person! i do not lie to anyone i love.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-386576.0.html

OUR LIKELY SCENARIO GOES HERE :


Olu girl dials James.

OLUGIRL : James whats wrong with you, where have you been, why didn't you pick my calls yesterday, are you crazy ? who was the girl i saw with you ?
James : {NOT knowing which question to answer first} calm down olubaby, i was , {olubaby interupts}
OG : We need to see now, i think i have to stop this relationship.
JM : {An illegal immigrant in UK, realizes the motive behind the relationship} baby calm down. i was sick since last week. the lady was showing me the way to the doctors house.

OG: {not knowing whether to believe or not}OK, but i need to see you, come to my house now now, dont waste time?
JM: sure, right away.

James arrives olu girls house, They did one or two things after she verbally abused James knowing he was illegal, they even ate launch and dinner together cos our girl believes the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

OG : James, you have to be careful, cant you see i am a big girl, i am not a looser, i have phd, i work with white people
James : {feeling intimidated} i know olubaby, i know, you are hardworking and industrious.You are a great lady.
OG : Sure i know all that and i am proud of myself.

the following day, james goes to another chick


JAMES : Sweetheart, As soon as we get that money from that olugirl, we will get married. she thinks i will marry her, she thinks she is too good for me.
Chick : {laughs} i know, she is so ugly and old. she is silly to think a sweetie like you will fall for her. do you know she has been in many relationships. she is always looking for handsome guys. she even feels like she is rich.

Unfortunately olugirl saw them together again and rushes to nairaland.
[img]http://4.bp..com/_rBWvWXg2g_g/SaMkQDNGZWI/AAAAAAAABcM/3HMeu7jrO8s/s400/blackspongebob.jpg[/img]

venue : Romance section
topic :Bored, Lonely, Starting To Hate Nigerian Men:
URL : https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-386576.0.html
content : Nigerian men in the UK are liars, they are cheats. they are siliy and i.diots. what should i do, i have money. i am educated, i am not a looser, i have degrees, i work with white men, in Buckingham palace, i have had dinner with the queen, i am above all of them Nigerian men ?


Sam Milla : You are actually a looser to think you can intimidate Men with where you work.

@poster

why did you have to post my picture without my permission?

Sam Milla:



HANGS HIS PHONE AND OUR GIRL RUSHES TO NAIRALAND. WHERE OF COURSE HIS TEAM MATES ARE EAGERLY WAITING TO VERBERLY PUNISH THE EVIL CALLED MEN



VENUE : ROMANCE SECTION
TOPIC : Why Can't Men Be Straightforward With Girls?
url : https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-387686.0.html
CONTENT : Why can't men be straight forward with girls if they are only after intimacy BLAH BLAH BLAH


SAM MILLA : "Look not in the body of a man but in his mind for when the body fails you, his mind cannot"

Sam milla is at it again. Lol

*roooooooolz eyez*

omo I GO DIE OOOOOOOO

Abeg DIE!

Ben10

I want all the comments on this topic to be moved to a new thread that will be a special place for comments.

Otherwise this series will not work well. I will create the thread later. I am busy with some work now.

roflmao ;d ;d

very tight thread

Sam Milla:

Ben10

I want all the comments on this topic to be moved to a new thread that will be a special place for comments.

Otherwise this series will not work well. I will create the thread later. I am busy with some work now.

When you create it, let me know.

nice work, Sammie.

Ben if u touch any of my posts. . . talkless of moving it elsewhere. . . i go burn nairaland down

LS4 Lands at the doors of babakess, A young Nigerian Man.

Babakess is in love with a beautiful Igbo Girl who doesn't pay a single attention to Babakess.
Here is his story from the Horses Mouth.

I am deeply in love with this beautiful ibo girl,i have spent time with her for some time now,the first 3 weeks of our relationship was smooth,the relationship is in the 5th month now,but she neglects the relationship and gives it cold hands and i ve been holding out for that long.The relationship has deteriorated overtime.I have done all i could to make her happy.Even call her ocassionally and talk to her, she says "I have heard you, I have nothing to say".She doesnt respond to the relationship by not doing things voluntarily; it seems i am driving the relationship alone.At a point i begged her to tell me if she doesnt love me any more,let me move on.she said she loves me so much,still confessing that as at the time of writing this.i still love her so much.I ve tried on several ocassions to tell her out of my life, but i ve not been able to. What do i do?

BABAKESS DIALS NGOZIKA AGAIN WHOM HE DOESNT KNOW WHERE SHE HAS BEEN SINCE ONE WEEK.

[img]http://thumb18.shutterstock.com.edgesuite.net/photos/display_pic_with_logo/78977/78977,1222775737,4.jpg[/img]


NGOZIKA : {sitting in Victoria Island sipping juice with A Rich Guy} Hello, Who is this ?
BABAKESS : NG, Its me , dont You see my number on the screen?

NG : i didnt look on the screen, What is it ?
BBK : i have not seen or heard from you since last week, i hope everything is OK .
NG : {takes permission from Mr Rich Guy, says its her mum calling and went into the ladies room} Yes, everything is fine except you,

BBK : What do you mean except me, I have been good to you, I bought you the shoes you wanted, the handbags, took you out to Mr Biggs last week, Gave you 50, 000 naira last week, even promised to buy you the red dress ? You know I love you so much .

NG : Yes You bought me all that, but what about the Wrist watch i showed you, You promised to buy it for me, what about the money i told you i wanted to give to my mum ? You havent given it to me, What about sending me to Dubai ?

BBK : Ok, Ok , i will do all that, but please when do we see again, i have missed you.
NG : As soon as all those thing are ready.


BABAKESS TOOK HIS CASE TO ALLAH
[img]http://benliles.files./2008/09/man_praying_center_for_biblical_counseling.png[/img]
AFTER PRAYING, Allah revealed to him to seek advice from other human beings.
That there is a place called nairaland where he can meet a guy named sam milla who will give him a useful advice.

Our man Babakess rushes to nairaland.
[img]http://fotosa.ru/stock_photo/Corbis_RF/p_2573133.jpg[/img]


Venue : Romance section
Topic : She Tells Me She Loves Me But Her Attitude Tells A Different Story.what Do I Do?
url : https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-389176.0.html
Content : she claims , she love me, i give her everything, she neve pick my calls again, i am carrying the love alone , etc.

Sam Milla : Run, Babakess Run, the sign is clear

@Sam

U no go kill me today oooo!!! LWKMD

So Dude's case was beyond ALLAH?

   

Nollywood!

Sammy, what are we waiting for.
gather your bombom and lets go find a producer . . .FAST.

mykali:

Sammy, what are we waiting for.
gather your bombom and lets go find a producer . . .FAST.

Lol, Search for me.

Lol

LS5 Just landed a new frontpage Story.

Mr I-Guru is a Nigerian Man who loves a girl but he wasnt sure if the Girl loves him in Return.
Hear his story as was told by him

I have a gf that has been postponing our date ever since we meet.
I don't know what to do again, i just need a little clue on how to make out date with her, that she will respond to this val season.
 What i meant is that i want to take her out, and i need some advice to make her agree with me.

OUR LIKELY SCENARIO GOES HERE

I-GURU
[img]http://thumb10.shutterstock.com.edgesuite.net/display_pic_with_logo/68697/68697,1202949886,50/stock-photo-woman-on-the-phone-9441466.jpg[/img]
HIS DATE LINDA GOING TO SEE ANOTHER GUY

Conversation

I-Guru : Linda, I have been trying to reach you for the past few days. Can we go out this weekend ?
Linda : {after telling her lover about one guy disturbing her on the phone} I have been out of town, we cant go out this weekend.
I-G : But that was what you said last week and the week before that. Baby whats going on, You know i like you, Valentine is approaching too.
L : I like you too especially after paying for my trip to South Africa last month. But i cant see you now. My boss sent me out of town on official assignment.
I-G : How about Valentine day, we can go out and have fun, i am even ready to marry you.
L : Its Ok, if i return before then , we could go out. though i am not sure i will be back.

I GURU consulted his friends who in turn told him to call Sam Milla for advice.
[img]http://writelyso365.files./2009/10/black-man-yelling-into-phone2.jpg[/img]

IG : {yelling}Is that sam milla, I am guru, i have a girl, she dont love me, she asks for money all the time, she never return my love, i hardly see her, i dont know whats going on, i dont know what to do!!!

SM : Calm down IG, Go to nairaland and make a post about it since you wont stop yelling on the phone. I will advice you over there.

IG Goes over to nairaland :

Venue : Romance section
topic : She Doesn't Want Me To Visit Her.
url : https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-389718.0.html
content : I don't know what to do again, i just need a little clue on how to make out date with her, that she will respond to this val season.
 What i meant is that i want to take her out, and i need some advice to make her agree with me

SAM MILLA : Take one Giant leap, tell her you must visit her and take her out on Valentine day, if she refuses, QUIT.

LOL & F!!

@sam milla i must say this is really innovative but then it could cause trouble on nl cos those whose scenario u edit mite not c it the way i c it(funny) and then stop postin so they dont get laughed at.cool though

D.A.V.E:

@sam milla i must say this is really innovative but then it could cause trouble on nl cos those whose scenario u edit mite not c it the way i c it(funny) and then stop postin so they dont get laughed at.cool though

All pictures are fake. so i dont see any trouble with it. But if it will cause troubles, i will stop it.
plus i will gladly move it elsewhere

LWKMD!!! Those scenarios r really funny. U made my nyt.