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Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by IBreakRules: 12:24pm On Jul 08, 2017
97% of marriages in this part of the world happen for child bearing sake..
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by Nobody: 12:26pm On Jul 08, 2017
Vuc1 what's ur answer to this?
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by lovethchioma(f): 12:27pm On Jul 08, 2017
To those guys saying that they can't put up with a woman that can't bear them children. Now before you leave that woman, make sure the problem isn't from you. Because when a topic like this comes up, everyone heaps the blame on the woman. They forget that the man might be the cause of the problem. when they've exhausted their youth jumping from one woman to another and might have carried something they aren't even aware of

4 Likes

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by Obason22(m): 12:27pm On Jul 08, 2017
i'll marry her if I really love her, cos I have real hope that woman that came into my life most bear me sons and daughters.
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by kayjee101: 12:31pm On Jul 08, 2017
Mynd44:
I am not marrying because I want children if that is the reason, I can just knock up my landlord's daughter; it is that easy.

I believe marriage should be because you share a deep connection with the person you are marrying and you want to go to bed each day beside them, you want to wake up to their smiles daily, you know that your life will be easier, better and lot more comfortable with that spcial person.

If children come, good. If not, fine, we will still have ourselves.

Besides, there is always an option of adoption
never knew someone with this username exists; I have heard your moniker a thousand times than I have seen you react to any post.
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by Nobody: 12:34pm On Jul 08, 2017
wjxavier:
I did.

We went to MeCure, did expensive tests, and all of them said she couldn't have kids. All this before the wedding.

She had had fibroid surgery before we met.
My Dad is a surgeon, and I was somehow silly enough to mention it to him.

He swore he wouldn't support it. Mum too.

Siblings queued with them.

For many reasons, I disappointed them.

First, I felt and still feel a parent has no place in choosing your spouse. It is your life. They've lived theirs.

Secondly, she was a 10 for me.

Long story short, I went ahead and married her even though nobody from my family attended.

Yes, the tests came out a week to the wedding! But I effin went ahead. (You gotta know what you want in this life...or else)

I did it.

I did it because I am a person of faith. I wasn't just arrogant or stubborn. I had a strategy.

I knew that impossible is nothing with my God.
I knew that the word of God is a laser that can address and redress any issue of life.
I knew I didn't need to fast. I just needed to declare the Word.

Whenever she saw her period, she would be sad, but I'd drag her around the house and dance.

"There shall be no barren in Israel."

In November, 5 months after our wedding, she missed her P.

Pic below is us.


PS: Not everybody can do this, so do not embark on this journey if you don't have the balls AND THE FAITH for it.

PPS: Faith is not belief. Faith is the words you declare that agree with God concerning your life
.

Wow sir, u just ministered to me. God bless your home.

2 Likes

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by Rebelutionary: 12:38pm On Jul 08, 2017
Destined2win:
angry

I think people who say this deceive themselves, there is a joy you have realizing you have your own flesh and blood, a child you can truly call your own.

The one you want to adopt, no be person born am? If everybody is Okay with inability to give birth, where will you see the one you will adopt. Abegiii leave matter
So much for a "future president" who believes anyone that doesn't see things his way is deceiving themselves...wow...you don dey show ursef now

Mr. you are seeing things from a narrow prism and your thought trajectory is not representative and would never suffice for EVERYONE!

Let's switch it around and ask ur lover that question...oh will she be deceiving herself if she still sticks to you?
@mynd44

1 Like

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by austyn0(m): 12:50pm On Jul 08, 2017
It's pretty difficult, I for one has always pictured the kinda lovely and joyful lifestyle I would enjoy with my kids, therefore, it would be best I do not wish to experience such misfortune.
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by Mrfixitxtech: 12:53pm On Jul 08, 2017
Yes i will, There is nothing Special about it. Children are a blessing and Given by God. Not all Fingers equal.

1 Like

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by MissJoy29(f): 12:53pm On Jul 08, 2017
Companionship in marriage for me is more important than procreation. I see children(biological or adopted) as wonderful but ADDED benefits(my own opinion though). I will gladly accept to marry my fiancě even if I'm sure he can't impregnate me. (I just can't say same about him). But we really have to share a certain level of love for each other before I can do it cos I can't do it for someone I don't wholly love. Besides, children are a gift from God. Two people who are medically fit can still NOT be able to reproduce while even someone who has had her womb damaged or even removed can still take in & give birth naturally. So, that your partner is able & fit to procreate doesnt guarantee that he or she WILL. Remember, it's not of him that willeth nor runneth but of God that showeth mercy. The only thing that might be a problem will be how our families will handle the fact that we might not be able to give them grandchildren. Even at that, there's still room for a MIRACLE.
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by Nobody: 12:57pm On Jul 08, 2017
I won't.
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by yetty002: 1:05pm On Jul 08, 2017
wjxavier:
I did.

We went to MeCure, did expensive tests, and all of them said she couldn't have kids. All this before the wedding.

She had had fibroid surgery before we met.
My Dad is a surgeon, and I was somehow silly enough to mention it to him.

He swore he wouldn't support it. Mum too.

Siblings queued with them.l

For many reasons, I disappointed them.

First, I felt and still feel a parent has no place in choosing your spouse. It is your life. They've lived theirs.

Secondly, she was a 10 for me.

Long story short, I went ahead and married her even though nobody from my family attended.

Yes, the tests came out a week to the wedding! But I effin went ahead. (You gotta know what you want in this life...or else)

I did it.

I did it because I am a person of faith. I wasn't just arrogant or stubborn. I had a strategy.

I knew that impossible is nothing with my God.
I knew that the word of God is a laser that can address and redress any issue of life.
I knew I didn't need to fast. I just needed to declare the Word.

Whenever she saw her period, she would be sad, but I'd drag her around the house and dance.

"There shall be no barren in Israel."

In November, 5 months after our wedding, she missed her P.

Pic below is us.


PS: Not everybody can do this, so do not embark on this journey if you don't have the balls AND THE FAITH for it.

PPS: Faith is not belief. Faith is the words you declare that agree with God concerning your life
.
I know very soon I will share a similar testimony like this though mine is the male factor but I know the God that did your own will also do my own. Thank you for lifting up my spirit

1 Like

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by sirfee(m): 1:06pm On Jul 08, 2017
tosyne2much:
The stench of hypocrites on this thread is very astonishing.

Ladies, don't be deceived by the comments you read here otherwise you will be led astray because these are the same men that will consider another wife if you can't bear children when their patience has been stretched to the end point cheesy

Or are these not the same people that keep extra martial affairs but are here saying they will always remain faithful to a woman who can't bear children?

Make una deceive unaself


May you live long bruv,most of the guys saying yes are liars and pretenders,it is easier said than done.

1 Like

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by austyn0(m): 1:07pm On Jul 08, 2017
Mynd44:
I am not marrying because I want children if that is the reason, I can just knock up my landlord's daughter; it is that easy.

I believe marriage should be because you share a deep connection with the person you are marrying and you want to go to bed each day beside them, you want to wake up to their smiles daily, you know that your life will be easier, better and lot more comfortable with that spcial person.

If children come, good. If not, fine, we will still have ourselves.

Besides, there is always an option of adoption
You are serving us this because it's just a thread that demands your reply, this is life man, you gotta be realistic with it... One thing that is constant in life is ''change'', on the inability to bore children state of your marriage, there will be pressure from all directions(you should know what I mean),,, it will surely get to a point when you start pressuring yourself maybe after seeing your friends, neighbours and their kids, you might succumb to these pressures and then it leads to ''You know what'', would it not be best if you call it off before it gets too late
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by safiaapussy: 1:09pm On Jul 08, 2017
.
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by tosyne2much(m): 1:13pm On Jul 08, 2017
sirfee:
May you live long bruv,most of the guys saying yes are liars and pretenders,it is easier said than done.
Don't mind them jawe cheesy

1 Like

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by Nomfanelo99(f): 1:19pm On Jul 08, 2017
I would over and over again. There are other options .
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by khiaa(f): 1:25pm On Jul 08, 2017
StOla:


Yes I will advise she have her own children. Why will I use my own biological handicap to artificially handicap my spouse? It doesn't have to be actual sexual intercourse. Same with mine too, I don't necessarily have to marry a 2nd wife to have children that are biologically mine.

She can have a sperm donor, but her own eggs must be useful to her. Just as I can have an egg donor or surrogate mum, but my own sperm must be useful to me.

I repeat, if I can have my own children, I must. If she can have her own while I am handicapped, she must.

Rather than having complete aliens as our children when one of us can have his/hers for the family.

CC: khiaa.

Ok, good to know, that's fair.
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by matrix600(m): 1:32pm On Jul 08, 2017
austyn0:
You are serving us this because it's just a thread that demands your reply, this is life man, you gotta be realistic with it... One thing that is constant in life is ''change'', on the inability to bore children state of your marriage, there will be pressure from all directions(you should know what I mean),,, it will surely get to a point when you start pressuring yourself maybe after seeing your friends, neighbours and their kids, you might succumb to these pressures and then it leads to ''You know what'', would it not be best if you call it off before it gets too late
Not everyone is that heartless, there are those who will consider the trauma they would be causing to their spouse if they left them to their misery. Not everyone has the heart to abandon someone they love over something that cannot be helped. This is where resolution comes in, and you hear Men telling their wives /fiancees something like ' I'll love you until the end '. There are a few people who can actually do this, and they live amongst us.

Not everybody bows to the pressures you highlighted.
Never underestimate the power of love.

3 Likes

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by sirfee(m): 1:35pm On Jul 08, 2017
tosyne2much:
Don't mind them jawe cheesy
I don't discriminate or mock people because of their predicament but the truth must be told;many of us(including the politically correct folks on this thread) would cancel such wedding.Most Africans marry because of children,I have seen religious homes break away because of barrenness(no offence to the barren)
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by optional1(f): 1:44pm On Jul 08, 2017
Tahrah:
And the mum will be like, If I am truly the one who gave birth to you,you have to listen to me. May it never happen to us.

Amen!!!
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by tosyne2much(m): 1:45pm On Jul 08, 2017
sirfee:
I don't discriminate or mock people because of their predicament but the truth must be told;many of us(including the politically correct folks on this thread) would cancel such wedding.Most Africans marry because of children,I have seen religious homes break away because of barrenness(no offence to the barren)
That's why I said love is an illusion but when reality sets it, they will compromise their stand.

It's just like when two AS patients get married out of the illusion of love, but when the consequences of their action tell on their children, they hate themselves for taking stupid decisions

1 Like

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by vuc1(m): 1:50pm On Jul 08, 2017
Nma27:
Vuc1 what's ur answer to this?
First of she'll have children for me( i'm always positive about life) secondly she should be honest enough to let her lover know her fertility status before he discovers it himself.That will be the basis to decide whether she stays.But if it is no fault of hers I'll love her forever.
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by matrix600(m): 1:58pm On Jul 08, 2017
@ tosyne2much and sirfee, you guys are too quick to label others who do not share your position, stop being immature. If this was a debate, is this how you'll respond to your opponents?

On the subject matter, place yourself in the position of the person who is unable to have a child, how would you feel if because of that your spouse leaves you, would you resign yourself to being single all your life, and not secretly wish for someone who will overlook your situation?

If you can resign yourself to single life, do you believe you deserve it?

If you can't, then you will agree with me that there'll be some kind of joy in you when you realize that you've found someone who will stay.. Some people are there to bring joy into other people's lives. Even if not having kids is the price they pay.

I think in the process of convincing you, I've succeeded in convincing myself, so my answer to the OP is YES I CAN. It's all about choice mehn..

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Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by matrix600(m): 2:14pm On Jul 08, 2017
tosyne2much:
That's why I said love is an illusion but when reality sets it, they will compromise their stand.

It's just like when two AS patients get married out of the illusion of love, but when the consequences of their action tell on their children, they hate themselves for taking stupid decisions
Love is not an illusion my friend, illusion is illusion, love is love.
Unlike two AS patients in this scenario only one person has a choice - the person without the problem. And so it boils down to priority.. What is more important in this marriage - spouse or kid. While the majority will pick the 'kid', the few would pick their 'spouse', all subject to the one person's choice and resolution.

The consequences he would be ready to bear when already resolved to bear it.
A foolish choice is still a choice, a stupid decision is still a decision, and life goes on.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by Nofuckgiven: 2:16pm On Jul 08, 2017
I can never marry an impotent man if I find out before marriage. My love no blind reach like that oh! I dont blame women who get pregnant outside for their husbands to train because most of those men are impotent and some even supported their wives to do it! undecided
PS. That is why it is important to do all the tests,fertility,STDs,genotype, blood group and the rest before marriage.

1 Like

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by tosyne2much(m): 2:22pm On Jul 08, 2017
matrix600:
@ tosyne2much and sirfee, you guys are too quick to label others who do not share your position, stop being immature. If this was a debate, is this how you'll respond to your opponents?

On the subject matter, place yourself in the position of the person who is unable to have a child, how would you feel if because of that your spouse leaves you, would you resign yourself to being single all your life, and not secretly wish for someone who will overlook your situation?

If you can resign yourself to single life, do you believe you deserve it?

If you can't, then you will agree with me that there'll be some kind of joy in you when you realize that you've found someone who will stay.. people are there to bring joy into other people's lives. Even if not having kids is the price they pay.

I think in the process of convincing you, I've succeeded in convincing myself, so my answer to the OP is YES I CAN. It's all about choice mehn..
Mind you, I'm not forcing anyone to subscribe to my opinion, maybe it's because I'm just being a realist that's why my opinion was contaminated by the bitter truth, which you found offensive.

Do you know that it's very easy for many of you to lay your hands on your keypads claiming you can do this and that, but in the real sense, you practically do otherwise.

The truth of the matter is that, everyone has got a standard and choice in life, and I believe that my standard and choice has nothing to do with me, being matured or immature. However, some men marry prostitutes or single mothers out of their personal choice while some men see it as a huge risk which they can't put their neck in

Personally speaking and general summarizing, the beauty of marriage is children. Take it or leave it
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by Saintmary(f): 2:24pm On Jul 08, 2017
Mynd44:
I am not marrying because I want children if that is the reason, I can just knock up my landlord's daughter; it is that easy.

I believe marriage should be because you share a deep connection with the person you are marrying and you want to go to bed each day beside them, you want to wake up to their smiles daily, you know that your life will be easier, better and lot more comfortable with that spcial person.

If children come, good. If not, fine, we will still have ourselves.

Besides, there is always an option of adoption
Awwwwn. Such a rare person.

1 Like

Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by tosyne2much(m): 2:27pm On Jul 08, 2017
matrix600:
Love is not an illusion my friend, illusion is illusion, love is love.
Unlike two AS patients in this scenario only one person has a choice - the person without the problem. And so it boils down to priority.. What is more important in this marriage - spouse or kid. While the majority will pick the 'kid', the few would pick their 'spouse', all subject to the one person's choice and resolution.

The consequences he would be ready to bear when already resolved to bear it.
A foolish choice is still a choice, a stupid decision is still a decision, and life goes on.
There are exceptions to love bro, and that's what I'm trying to point out.
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by tosyne2much(m): 2:29pm On Jul 08, 2017
Saintmary:

Awwwwn. Such a rare person.
And he won your heart with the comment he made right? cheesy

That's why ladies always cherish men who say what they want to hear
Re: Would You Still Marry Your Lover If You Discovered That They Can't Have Children by Saintmary(f): 2:33pm On Jul 08, 2017
tosyne2much:
And he won your heart with the comment he made right? cheesy

That's why ladies always cherish men who say what they want to hear
You're jealous abi. Oya take your own. Btw, I used to like your posts.

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