To all the females – be they black or white; straight-legged or bandy-legged; feminist or non-feminist; charcoal-skinned or light-skinned – who would read this page and go a long mile in committing to its content, I greet and salute you all.
To those who would read and not keep to the dictates of even a single syllable, I as well extend to you my unreserved greetings and salutations. And to that class of women who would be so unfortunate as to not happen upon this piece, I extend to them a neatly wrapped box of sympathies.

It would be disingenous of me if I didn't beforehand state that the topical specimen which we are soon to dissect is one very subjective animal. Perhaps even almost as subjective as determining the most appropriate spot on which one should press a toothpaste tube whenever the need for it arises. But I write in the aplomb that one cultivates after stumbling upon a mind's-eye-opening, spiritual epiphany. In essence, these are not my words, but the outpourings of a supreme, divine entity that has taken firm hold of my body, mind, biro.... and Nairaland account.

This otherwordly spirit to which my person is now being held in hostage ministered at length to me, and willed me into instructing these words to every female out there that is presently preoccupied with the rigorous business of husband-searching.
According to this same spirit, which now speaks through me, all females must put all of these into foreground perspective before assenting a man's proposition to take that most famed walk through that most famed aisle:

Whomever it is that you wish to marry must more or less be an organic mimemis of the statue of a Greek god; he must be handsome to a fault, must boast of well-chiseled, well-pronounced abs; must have high cheek bones like Benedict Cumberbatch, and also, must not be deficient in height. This man also must possess a diamond-eged intellect; he also must be a caped crusader of Gotham and chivalry, the type that both respects and dots affectionately on you. He must be god-fearing to an appreciable extent, and in the rare case of a man of atheistic persuasions, concessions could be made so long as he has proven to be capable of morality.

One does not cook a meal without salt and still expect it to live to its full culinary potential. That would be folly in its most superlative degree. In likewise manner, one does not make a list of “must haves” for would-be husbands without making a mention of the king of kings and the mightiest of them all: “financial clout”. So therefore, too, every lady must have burned into the frontiers of their minds the idea that the man with whom they wish to plight the troth must be one with an embarrassment of wealth—not little of it, not enough to survive, but more than enough to survive.

This divine spirit which inspired this piece to life asks that I tell every lady reading this husband-searching manual, that all of the qualities outlined, not one or two of it, are to be stamped on the memory and considered when in the hunt for a significant other.

But before the presence of this divine spirit departed from me, it left behind a post-script which I think it wished would serve as countervailing balance to its earlier instructions. The divine spirit asked me to tell ladies to cast a long look at nature and see all the imperfections embedded within its perfection; to look at the rough rocks which are disagreeable to the sense of touch; to look at the assymetry of landscape; to look at the crawling creatures which our human senses have deemed ugly to behold; to look at the withering flowers mourning the demise of vim and verve; and, to look at the volcanoes, tornadoes, tsunamis, earthquakes, and a host of existing natural occurences which although elicits awe and serve as poignant reminder that a force greater than man exists, but also prove disastrous to the other less powerful outgrowths of nature: Humans, animals, and plants.

So, my dearest ladies, before you reject that romantic who though might have a dearth of finances but who genuinely has deep affections for you, remember to look at the imperfections of nature. Before you condescendingly hiss at, eye askance, or spurn the advances of that not-too-tall and not-too-physically interesting man who's not only an attentive listener but also is of a warm disposition, remember as well to flip the mirror over so as to glimpse the imperfect side of nature. And to those women, too, who for no fault of theirs are given to prioritizing material attributes over immaterial qualities, the two sentences before this one speaks as well to you.

With the exception of the universe and the fatuities of humanity, everything has a beginning and an end, even a geometrical circle - if you look closely enough. It so happens that this piece too has reached its terminal point. And so I conclude with what once were the words of Shakespeare but which I have perverted for the purpose of hammering home a point : Sweet are the imperfections of life; sweeter even are the imperfections of man.

Lalasticlala, Mynd44, Rocktation, RoyalRoy

Check this out.

And Rocktation/Farano/RoyalRoy, I intended to post this in the family section, not here; kindly help in rectifying the slip-up.

RuthDaniels:
"Perfection is an illusion a deluded pursue".

Although human has the right to want ,aspire and have most beautiful, wonderful and loveliest things of life, Human shouldn't forget the sacrifice to be paid. This sacrifice may include ignoring the less appealing features that comes with the desired.

To think there is a perfect figure is to think God is Man!

Truer words have never been spoken.

To advice is one thing, to heed an advice is another thing entirely, many after reading this piece would still favour those qualities contrary to the aforementioned, more reason why there are incessant cases of broken homes..... Nice article.

austyn0:
To advice is one thing, to heed an advice is another thing entirely, many after reading this piece would still favour those qualities contrary to the aforementioned, more reason why there are incessant cases of broken homes..... Nice article.

Thank you.

While it's true that heeding advise is perhaps the more tasking of the two, still, one cannot deny the power of words. The gospel of St. John re-affirms it for us when it said, “In the beginning was the WORD, and the WORD was with God, and WORD WAS GOD. Pardon my very biased interpretation of that sacred text.

We must first sow the seeds in their hearts with words, and hope that the Lord of the harvest would cause these seeds to bloom into beautiful, sustainable gardens.

DarkRebel69:


Thank you.

While it's true that heeding advise is perhaps the more tasking of the two, still, one cannot deny the power of words. The gospel of St. John re-affirms it for us when it said, “In the beginning was the WORD, and the WORD was with God, and WORD WAS GOD. Pardon my very biased interpretation of that sacred text.

We must first sow the seeds in their hearts with words, and hope that the Lord of the harvest would cause these seeds to bloom into beautiful, sustainable gardens.

Affirmative.

Op first of nice write up, but it will have been better you keep it simple so we all could comprehend your message
If I could decode your message, this thread was about your fantancy prince charming

But if you will take an advice of a young man not as intelligent as your self
I will advice you to live more and rather than trying to make your fantasies come to pass or believing it will come to pass

Cause in real world you will hardly find the prince charming you described so accurately in your post
Peace sis

greyboy5000:
Op first of nice write up, but it will have been better you keep it simple so we all could comprehend your message
If I could decode your message, this thread was about your fantancy prince charming

But if you will take an advice of a young man not as intelligent as your self
I will advice you to live more and rather than trying to make your fantasies come to pass or believing it will come to pass

Cause in real world you will hardly find the prince charming you described so accurately in your post
Peace sis

I advise that you re-read the piece. You don't seem to fully understand it.
The first half of the post highlights the fantasies of many women in matters of marriage, albeit it does so in a manner that seems to suggest that it was in support of it. While the second half of the message stood in antithesis to it and was a wake-up call to reality, a bolt of electricity meant to jolt these women out of their idle reverie.

Re-read it, but this time, slowly.

DarkRebel69:


I advise that you re-read the piece. You don't seem to fully understand it.
The first half of the post highlights the fantasies of many women in matters of marriage, albeit it does so in a manner that seems to suggest that it was in support of it. While the second half of the message stood in antithesis to it and was a wake-up call to reality, a bolt of electricity meant to jolt these women out of their idle reverie.

Re-read it, but this time, slowly.

OK but all I saw initially was the first part
I was honestly not enjoying the story or poem
So I stopped

Good write up

greyboy5000:
OK but all I saw initially was the first part
I was honestly not enjoying the story or poem
So I stopped

Good write up

It's all good. I also don't enjoy jazz music.

Thanks.

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