Dear Married men,
Please how do you cope without sex, my wife has been denying me sex for a very long time, we have been having irreconcilable difference, I have tried to make peace but I do not really think she is interested any more. we live as strangers in same house. I do not like any extra marital sex.
Guys how can one cope.

we cope because before marriage we were not given to sex.... YOU CAN NOT COME AND BE COPING IN MARRIAGE with what you could not cope with as a SINGLE... you simply wont be able to do it.

Talk to ya wife or separate from her n find a side chick if you can not HOLD BODY.....

but its all about DISCIPLINE no matter how strong your manhood is, it is never as STRONG as a determined MIND because when the consequences (std, scandals, unwanted pregnancies, abortion complications) YOU MANHOOD will be so soft and your reputation will never recover. SO DO THE WISE THING NOW.

lisbonabdulahi:
Dear Married men,
Please how do you cope without sex, my wife has been denying me sex for a very long time, we have been having irreconcilable difference, I have tried to make peace but I do not really think she is interested any more. we live as strangers in same house. I do not like any extra marital sex.
Guys how can one cope.

Sex in marriage is like an oil in a car. whenever oil goes low in a car, you will see a red indicator light.
like wise in marriage, whenever sex is bn deprived, love will dry up and red light will b indicating as in quarrels n nagging.
it happen in every marriage but a good wife or husband will always top up sex, to keep love flowing.
Sit ur wife down n know what the problem is, that made her not to do her duty. this is a big problem in marriage.

Thank you for your time. I have done everything I can. But madam is just not cooperating

lisbonabdulahi:
Thank you for your time. I have done everything I can. But madam is just not cooperating

Why isn't she "cooperating"?

What have you done to offend her so??

EfemenaXY:


Why isn't she "cooperating"?

What have you done to offend her so??

thanks, see my previous post https://www.nairaland.com/3887957/wife-been-taking-me-granted

lisbonabdulahi:
thanks, see my previous post https://www.nairaland.com/3887957/wife-been-taking-me-granted

I've read your thread.

Have you had a really deep talk with your wife to find out what the issue is? I certain she'll have her own version of events which will most likely be different from yours.
Unfortunately she isn't here to give us the full story. You are.

lisbonabdulahi:
Dear Married men,
Please how do you cope without sex, my wife has been denying me sex for a very long time, we have been having irreconcilable difference, I have tried to make peace but I do not really think she is interested any more. we live as strangers in same house. I do not like any extra marital sex.
Guys how can one cope.

You need to learn how to please your wife sexually. I quit having sex with my husband because he's terrible at it. I don't want to waste my time. He's a great person and very kind. But I've lost interest in him due to him sexually for various reasons. He has refused to improve himself in that area, so I don't want to be bothered any longer. If he has sex with another woman, I couldn't care less.

ETA: I just reread your other thread. From everything you say there, it's obvious your wife is cheating on you. She has another man rocking her bed. But then again, maybe not. She could just be angry that you are not the man she wants.

FortuneTeller:


You need to learn how to please your wife sexually. I quit having sex with my husband because he's terrible at it. I don't want to waste my time. He's a great person and very kind. But I've lost interest in him due to him sexually for various reasons. He has refused to improve himself in that area, so I don't want to be bothered any longer. If he has sex with another woman, I couldn't care less.

FortuneTeller:


You need to learn how to please your wife sexually. I quit having sex with my husband because he's terrible at it. I don't want to waste my time. He's a great person and very kind. But I've lost interest in him due to him sexually for various reasons. He has refused to improve himself in that area, so I don't want to be bothered any longer. If he has sex with another woman, I couldn't care less.

ETA: I just reread your other thread. From everything you say there, it's obvious your wife is cheating on you. She has another man rocking her bed. But then again, maybe not. She could just be angry that you are not the man she wants.

Is there no way you can help your husband improve? More like guide him on what to do? Just saying because we all weren't born with these skills. We learnt.

And I agree his wife is probably cheating or doesn't love him anymore and is expressing her disdain but hubby is busy looking for a solution.

DukeNija:


Is there no way you can help your husband improve? More like guide him on what to do? Just saying because we all weren't born with these skills. We learnt

I have told him. I have shown him videos. I have shown him a book. I have guided his hands and mouth. He does not want to change. I can't make him change. So at this point, I have given up. Honestly it's probably one of these reasons I lash out on NL so much. I'm sexually frustrated. After I deliver, I might get a lover. Pray my strength in the Lord so I don't do that please.

FortuneTeller:


I have told him. I have shown him videos. I have shown him a book. I have guided his hands and mouth. He does not want to change. I can't make him change. So at this point, I have given up. Honestly it's probably one of these reasons I lash out on NL so much. I'm sexually frustrated.

Wow. It is well. I don't even know what to say because I would think a man should go any length to please his wife sexually, at least while they are both still young.
Sometimes you can't fault the proponents of premarital sex because humans are extremely self centred and wicked. Ready to die with their secrets instead of coming clean. Maybe you should invest in intimacy gadgets or just leave d house for him to enjoy alone.

DukeNija:


Wow. It is well. I don't even know what to say because I would think a man should go any length to please his wife sexually, at least while they are both still young.
Sometimes you can't fault the proponents of premarital sex because humans are extremely self centred and wicked. Ready to die with their secrets instead of coming clean. Maybe you should invest in intimacy gadgets or just leave d house for him to enjoy alone. Men like that deserve to be alone, with their hands.

I don't like intimacy gadgets. I like real flesh. I need a human being. He always says "Catholics don't do that". Firstly, I'm not a Catholic and I told him things I liked before we married. I hate to engage in adultery but the way things are going, I just don't know any more. He's a great person as I said before. I couldn't ask for a nicer husband. But this sexual issue is too much for me. So I wonder if the creator of this thread is facing the same issue and his wife is tired of him.

FortuneTeller:


I have told him. I have shown him videos. I have shown him a book. I have guided his hands and mouth. He does not want to change. I can't make him change. So at this point, I have given up. Honestly it's probably one of these reasons I lash out on NL so much. I'm sexually frustrated. After I deliver, I might get a lover. Pray my strength in the Lord so I don't do that please.

Please

FortuneTeller:


You need to learn how to please your wife sexually. I quit having sex with my husband because he's terrible at it. I don't want to waste my time. He's a great person and very kind. But I've lost interest in him due to him sexually for various reasons. He has refused to improve himself in that area, so I don't want to be bothered any longer. If he has sex with another woman, I couldn't care less.

ETA: I just reread your other thread. From everything you say there, it's obvious your wife is cheating on you. She has another man rocking her bed. But then again, maybe not. She could just be angry that you are not the man she wants.

Wow this is one of the most honest and real comment, and am praying men learn from this, they have to please their wives sexually and go the extra mile to learn new things.

Where does compromise fit in marriage? Sexual preferences rarely align, but may be both parties can be willing to settle for a little less than they want, it may just work

FortuneTeller:


You need to learn how to please your wife sexually. I quit having sex with my husband because he's terrible at it. I don't want to waste my time. He's a great person and very kind. But I've lost interest in him due to him sexually for various reasons. He has refused to improve himself in that area, so I don't want to be bothered any longer. If he has sex with another woman, I couldn't care less.

ETA: I just reread your other thread. From everything you say there, it's obvious your wife is cheating on you. She has another man rocking her bed. But then again, maybe not. She could just be angry that you are not the man she wants.

Oh baby , this thing is really important I swearit! I think you might have to try some more, even if it's only fore...plays. I pray I don't have to deal sheet in that arena, I can't deal mehn. It is well.

FortuneTeller:


I don't like intimacy gadgets. I like real flesh. I need a human being. He always says "Catholics don't do that". Firstly, I'm not a Catholic and I told him things I liked before we married. I hate to engage in adultery but the way things are going, I just don't know any more. He's a great person as I said before. I couldn't ask for a nicer husband. But this sexual issue is too much for me. So I wonder if the creator of this thread is facing the same issue and his wife is tired of him.

Have you sought medical assistance? Let him see a doctor. Is it a case of poor performance due to physiological issues or lack of technical know-how. You have to compel him to get help. You can't afford to give up.
What does he mean by "Catholics don't do that"? There's always a solution for every problem. I really sympathize with you, no one should be in this situation.

The OP's case is different. He's a king in the sac, according to his story. His wife is just possessed. Chai! Marriage..

pcguru1:


Wow this is one of the most honest and real comment, and am praying men learn from this, they have to please their wives sexually and go the extra mile to learn new things.

I swear bro. I was wowed too. Men should do more and be very open minded. Ego kills marriages.

Atk1nson:
Where does compromise fit in marriage? Sexual preferences rarely align, but may be both parties can be willing to settle for a little less than they want, it may just work

You compromise and make allowances for everything else (values, etc) not sex.

Sex is the deal breaker.

FortuneTeller:


I have told him. I have shown him videos. I have shown him a book. I have guided his hands and mouth. He does not want to change. I can't make him change. So at this point, I have given up. Honestly it's probably one of these reasons I lash out on NL so much. I'm sexually frustrated. After I deliver, I might get a lover. Pray my strength in the Lord so I don't do that please.

You'll be fine dear. Please don't cheat.
Continue to manage him.
If you don't like how he does you, y not do him instead. It is well with you...

g

DukeNija:


Have you sought medical assistance? Let him see a doctor. Is it a case of poor performance due to physiological issues or lack of technical know-how. You have to compel him to get help. You can't afford to give up.
What does he mean by "Catholics don't do that"? There's always a solution for every problem. I really sympathize with you, no one should be in this situation.

The OP's case is different. He's a king in the sac, according to his story. His wife is just possessed. Chai! Marriage..

My husband declared he was a sexual expert before we married as well. Men often overestimate what they can do, because women never tell them. I don't think his wife would be sleeping in another room if he was really that good. I'm sure his wife gets the urge to have sex at times, so why not use the available man at home? She's not attracted to him.

As a for medical help, there is nothing wrong with him. He gets hard as a rock. He just doesn't want to do anything except his regular 5 minutes. I'm not dealing with that until I want another child.

Can you please ask her if she really wants the marriage?

Cs I don't understand...
It is well, please don't cheat...you swore till death do you part, don't cheat on her

That goes for you too fortune teller...
I don't really have any other advise except this.

May the good Lord help us all

You can always pray about it too

What's the point of staying under same roof with someone you have irreconcilable differences with? Can't imagine the negative vibes gyrating in that house!

sex is transcendental when done in the right mental,physical and spiritual conditions. Strive to cultivate these conditions with your wife and explore magic.

FortuneTeller:


My husband declared he was a sexual expert before we married as well. Men often overestimate what they can do, because women never tell them. I don't think his wife would be sleeping in another room if he was really that good. I'm sure his wife gets the urge to have sex at times, so why not use the available man at home? She's not attracted to him.

As a for medical help, there is nothing wrong with him. He gets hard as a rock. He just doesn't want to do anything except his regular 5 minutes. I'm not dealing with that until I want another child.

You are a down-to-earth person. You love your husband and you really want him to be the best at everything he does. You are a rare gem. From your narrations, I see your husband as a committed catholic member. His inability to do as you desire could be as a result of past indoctrination. I was in his shoes before. You need to talk it out with him until you get the change (not Buhari's change o) you want. Whatever happens, please don't cheat on him. Rather, divert your sexual energy to some productive venture.

lisbonabdulahi:
Dear Married men,
Please how do you cope without sex, my wife has been denying me sex for a very long time, we have been having irreconcilable difference, I have tried to make peace but I do not really think she is interested any more. we live as strangers in same house. I do not like any extra marital sex.
Guys how can one cope.

It isn't an easy task to stay out of it when you are already doing it. I read your previous thread and bro, you need to open up to someone your wife regards. At this point, you may need to bring in a third party, someone she holds in high esteem, who can help you to resolve issues. Also, you may need to go spiritual way. Talk to God about her for He's able to change every hardened heart.

FortuneTeller:


My husband declared he was a sexual expert before we married as well. Men often overestimate what they can do, because women never tell them. I don't think his wife would be sleeping in another room if he was really that good. I'm sure his wife gets the urge to have sex at times, so why not use the available man at home? She's not attracted to him.

As a for medical help, there is nothing wrong with him. He gets hard as a rock. He just doesn't want to do anything except his regular 5 minutes. I'm not dealing with that until I want another child.

BREAKING NEWS: You have a very self centered husband ( Not so breaking actually)
SOLUTION: None for now

DukeNija:


BREAKING NEWS: You have a very self centered husband ( Not so breaking actually)
SOLUTION: None for now

Please don't speak negatively about my husband. He is not self centered. He's one of the most giving and kind people I know. This is my only issue with him.

babajeje123:

It isn't an easy task to stay out of it when you are already doing it. I read your previous thread and bro, you need to open up to someone your wife regards. At this point, you may need to bring in a third party, someone she holds in high esteem, who can help you to resolve issues. Also, you may need to go spiritual way. Talk to God about her for He's able to change every hardened heart.

Thanks, but she ignores her family, in my post i said her brother has told me to do whatever i think is best, that he can not even tolerate that from any woman.

EfemenaXY:


I've read your thread.

Have you had a really deep talk with your wife to find out what the issue is? I certain she'll have her own version of events which will most likely be different from yours.
Unfortunately she isn't here to give us the full story. You are.

Thanks, but the truth is all I have said.

EfemenaXY:


Why isn't she "cooperating"?

What have you done to offend her so??

Thanks, But just read my earlier thread