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She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? - Family (12) - Nairaland

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Man Stops Paying Daughter's School Fee After She Told Him To Wash Plates / My Past Holds A Very Dark Secret, Should I Tell Or Bury It? / Will You Still Marry A Man Whose Mother Hates You? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Saintsquare(m): 12:39pm On Jul 22, 2017
I'm not surprised at the ladies really cos this is what most of them do,place a good guy on no sex relationship then spread there legs for idiots.

10 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by moneyhungry(m): 12:39pm On Jul 22, 2017
If I were you I'll walk away bro. That doubt will fvck with your mind for a long time, and probably ruin it all in the long run.
A lady who really loves you would make it all easy, not complicated.
Use your fvcking head!.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by NoToPile: 12:40pm On Jul 22, 2017
forzarush:
just because a lady is not a virgin doesn't mean she goes to bed with men freely. Sex for a woman involves emotions,besides she may have decided to wait,some people who aren't virgins can also be celibate.

Thank you.

See them huffing and puffing coz of sex na wa oo

Op I repeat the problem you have with this girl is sex and she is very smart to say no till marriage.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by jayloms: 12:40pm On Jul 22, 2017
lovelygurl:


Oh boy go back and read!

Op got her RELATIVE pregnant and aborted the pregnancy!

Nah! He only ------ d relative! So, darling, you go back and read smiley
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by kullozone(m): 12:41pm On Jul 22, 2017
lovelygurl:


Where I can protect the lady undecided

Do I know the lady or do I seem to be playing your ridiculous childish gender play. I am a boy so I defend boys or I am girl, so I defend girls undecided

The issue here is all about SEX. He should have made that crystal clear instead of talking about the abortion and stillbirth because how are those topics even related to each other.

And where the hell did he in his whole write up claim she gave SEVERAL men sex. She came back quite loose, so what? Does that mean it's a must for her to have sex with him. How is love even equal to sex?

My problem with the op is, he is talking about a super super secret, whining about a stillbirth and an abortion when his real problem is "sex"


All these "girls" are just replying without brain and alot of emotion.
Just look at what this one wrote.... You're on the girl's side just because you're a girl like her, period!

What a repulsive reply.

10 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by njimezz(m): 12:42pm On Jul 22, 2017
Brother, you should be happy she did by telling you, that is showed that she loves you so dear, coz every girl has but do u refer to know after marriage which will be devastating. The question is her womb is still intact and probably her stil birth may be a mistake. Please don't listen what people will say just follow ur heart, she has confessed to you and you still love her, it shows that she will not hid any thing to you or did you prefer the one that appears like a saint at the end, you find out that 2 of ur children are not urs which one do u prefer brooooo

1 Like

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by loswhite(m): 12:42pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:


I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?
never fall for that scam no sex before marriage.... I am telling u from experience

3 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Nobody: 12:43pm On Jul 22, 2017
kullozone:



All these "girls" are just replying without brain and alot of emotion.
Just look at what this one is writing.... You're on the girl's side just because you're a girl like her, period!

What a repulsive reply.

How childish and dumb of you lipsrsealed
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by saasala(m): 12:43pm On Jul 22, 2017
lovelygurl:


Oh boy go back and read!

Op got her RELATIVE pregnant and aborted the pregnancy!

Who is this one calling o boy

Am I your mate?
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by moneyhungry(m): 12:44pm On Jul 22, 2017
pocohantas:
OP, that girl doesn't love you...neither does she feel any sexual attraction towards you and sexual attraction is very important in marriage. The only problem here is, you don't have the right moral standing to judge her...but I get your grievance.

I think you're just a back up plan.
My opinion
you're smart. 100% correct.

2 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by loswhite(m): 12:44pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:


Money shouldn't be part of this, I think? However, I foot her bills and she's very comfortable with it
mugu 1
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by MISSCONGENIALITY(f): 12:44pm On Jul 22, 2017
This sex thing strong o
Everyone seems to be thinking and talking and getting high on sex these days
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by fumiswtpusy(f): 12:45pm On Jul 22, 2017
lovelygurl:


Why are you bringing a tribe into this?
Because tribes affect us. More than you think.
The behaviour of a biafran is diffrent from oduduwa and the northern illiterates.
Before you will sleep with a biafran girl ss and se. She will know what she stands to gain,but a. Yoruba girl can sleep with you because of even groundnut.
I am a yoruba girl and I know what I am saying.
They call me fumi the first neat,brave and truthful Yoruba girl.

2 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by mctfopt: 12:46pm On Jul 22, 2017
Frankyboy1:
I pray you scroll down enough to read my message! Forget what kids are saying down there, I am a man who has been in the game long enough to advise you. DON'T MARRY HER! You have always loved her and she has been ur childhood crush and your kind of ideal woman all along, but she is not who you thought she was all this while! She is not and has never been in love with you neither is she naturally attracted to you! She likes you enough to MARRY you, cause as a woman you foot the bill and the time is right, but for her withstanding you sexually all these years,but was dishing it out to someone else and even insisted on keeping the child outside wedlock! Ogbeni that is the man she really loved! A woman that loves you and is sexually active,can't withstand ur advances for years even when she knows you were genuine about her! Find a girl who loves you for you, and has good moral standards,but her knees grow weak at ur touch or advances! If not you 're marrying a woman whom after a while ur sexual advances might even irritate her! Sexuality and raw chemistry is a big ingredient in marital relationship


I owe you one bottle. Damn. You nailed it! cool

2 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Nobody: 12:47pm On Jul 22, 2017
fumiswtpusy:

Because tribes affect us. More than you think.
The behaviour of a biafran is diffrent from oduduwa and the northern illiterates.
Before you will sleep with a biafran girl ss and se. She will know what she stands to gain,but a. Yoruba girl can sleep with you because of even groundnut.
I am a yoruba girl and I know what I am saying.
They call me fumi the first neat,brave and truthful Yoruba girl.

Lmfao! Whaaat?! grin

So many different personalities on nl grin
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Nobody: 12:49pm On Jul 22, 2017
saasala:


Who is this one calling o boy

Am I your mate?

Grandpa,
This is not how someone who wants to be worthy of respect talks
saasala:


Then fvck her and dump her. If she doesnt allow you go into her pant, still dump her. She doesnt deserve you. She was getting serviced by some dirty guys and refused you sex, she now wants you as a husband after you have gotten a good job, still refusing you sex. Marry her at your own peril.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by robosky02(m): 12:52pm On Jul 22, 2017
Oyindidi:
You know nothing about sex and marriage. She does not find him attractive.

teacher, tell us more tongue
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by rman: 12:56pm On Jul 22, 2017
Frankyboy1:
I pray you scroll down enough to read my message! Forget what kids are saying down there, I am a man who has been in the game long enough to advise you. DON'T MARRY HER! You have always loved her and she has been ur childhood crush and your kind of ideal woman all along, but she is not who you thought she was all this while! She is not and has never been in love with you neither is she naturally attracted to you! She likes you enough to MARRY you, cause as a woman you foot the bill and the time is right, but for her withstanding you sexually all these years,but was dishing it out to someone else and even insisted on keeping the child outside wedlock! Ogbeni that is the man she really loved! A woman that loves you and is sexually active,can't withstand ur advances for years even when she knows you were genuine about her! Find a girl who loves you for you, and has good moral standards,but her knees grow weak at ur touch or advances! If not you 're marrying a woman whom after a while ur sexual advances might even irritate her! Sexuality and raw chemistry is a big ingredient in marital relationship

1,000,000 LIKES! BULLS EYE!

Nerdg

2 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by saasala(m): 12:56pm On Jul 22, 2017
lovelygurl:


Grandpa,
This is not how someone who wants to be worthy of respect talks


How else would I talk?

If this dude was your brother, would you allow him marry a woman who thought he is not worthy of her body and refused him access to the cookies on several occasions, only for her to go fvck numerous d1cks somewhere, came back and still forming saint, still refusing the guy access to her body after she has had a miscarriage?
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Ukalejohn(m): 12:56pm On Jul 22, 2017
this is a two way thing
1.Either she's testing you to see how you'd reach or
2.she's a bi....tch
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Stallione(m): 12:58pm On Jul 22, 2017
madridguy:
From your write up I think she's trying to test you and see how you will react to her dark side too. She might as well be hurt to hear the dark side of you and maybe she cooked something up to see your reaction too.

My observation though.
Lol,as if we had desame tin on our minds
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Nobody: 1:00pm On Jul 22, 2017
saasala:


How else would I talk?

If this dude was your brother, would you allow him marry a woman who thought he is not worthy of her body and refused him access to the cookies on several occasions, only for her to go fvck numerous d1cks somewhere, came back and still forming saint, still refusing the guy access to her body after she has had a miscarriage?

He is not better than her in any way. You think she has not heard of how he goes around scratching every hole like a garbage man. It's either she's scared of being dumped afterwards or doesn't want to have sex before marriage, after the stillbirth issue.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Stallione(m): 1:01pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:


I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?
On a 2nd taught,i think so,but ask her for sex b4 u conclude ur marriage plans first,lets see how u'l feel,if it feels good,go on my brother.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by bukas15(m): 1:02pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

op you deserve to be flogged. First of all, u cheated on her, commited an arbortion, nd you stil have the effontry to judge her. She got pregnant because the man was willing to marry her,if nt dt her famili objected. So u commited more sin than her nd desrve to be anged
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Badgers14: 1:03pm On Jul 22, 2017
lovelygurl:


My problem with op is, he should have said it's all about sex and should not come here whining about a stillbirth. Besides he didn't only just go to her neighbour, her neighbour happens to be her RELATIVE. He got another girl pregnant. Yet he claims to love her and even break up with her because of SEX ?

She AFTER he broke up with her, she got pregnant and had a stillbirth- Should that be considered a DARK secret?


She might have even gotten pregnant because she felt her new guy would leave her just like op, if she refuses to have sex with him.

Getting pregnant and having a stillbirth might result to her not wanting to have sex before marriage

You are still missing the point.. From your comments you sound a bit biased.. Maybe defending the lady in question. Well, your opinion tho. But.....

Op was simply worried about why the girl denied him sex and was having sex with other people.

If the girl wanted to keep herself until marriage that's a different issue but this wasn't the case here...

Didn't she like the op enough to have sex with him? Was he not good enough for her? What qUalities does the other guys posses that op lacked that made her have sex with them but not with Op.

I think this is the puzzle op is trying to solve.

1 Like

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by MissRaine69(f): 1:04pm On Jul 22, 2017
Neither of you is perfect. You did pretty much the same thing but to someone else's daughter. Don't be a hypercrite and get upset over the situation as you are no better with your indiscretions I am sure you have had many. Hers is not a deep dark secret it was known its just the man's family where a hinderance. If they had not objected she would have been someone else's wife and not in your life. She was wrong to take the stance she did regarding sex but mistakes where made now what? No one comes without baggage even virgins.

It's not for us to tell you marry her or not. Can you live with her past that's what's this is all about she also has to accept yours. If you still feel aggrieved about the sex thing then it's best you part. It's all or nothing.
If you can move on from this then do so but you sir are in no position to be throwing stones at glass houses, as you are in one big glass house yourself.

1 Like

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by cyberguy72(m): 1:05pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:


I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?
Yes she's desperate for marriage.Plz look somewhere else for a partner,after spreading her legs for some many other guys(meanwhile denying you that genuinely loved her)My guy just chop ur own and waka
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by ogahug: 1:05pm On Jul 22, 2017
[quote author=Nerdg post=58705698]She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

somewhere

Her getting pregnant must have been a regrettable mistake. However, she was courageous to keep the pregnancy though she suffered a still birth.

Guy, if you love her and you are at home with her virtues, then go for her and marry her without any delay. She has just scored 'A' in sincerity which is very good. I sincerely commend her for refusing you sex when you made advances on her because if she had yielded you would have impregnated her, aborted the baby and dumped her. You are only considering her now because she looks chaste. Maybe God actually allowed all that passed to make her available for you today. If you leave, then you will go and look for another angel somewhere else
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Sanchez01: 1:09pm On Jul 22, 2017
YelloweWest:
Op this is my thoughts on what happened.

This young lady most likely made a vow at some point in her life not to have sex before marriage. Virgin or not.

Since u cheated on her ans dumped her because she refused u sex, her next relationship she had to break her vow in order to maintain the relationship. Then she became pregnant out of wedlock and realised her mistake.

Now she is determined more than ever to close her legs untill marriage.
It has nothing to do with u op.

On the other hand, u have no moral right to judge her for a still birth. She from what u have said has a higher moral standing than u... that's the truth.
You had an abortion. (Deliberately)
She lost a baby. (Unintentional)
It's very different senerio. God probably let the baby go so she won't ruin her chances at a good suitor.

You have a good lady who is willing to tell all. So many women would never admit such.

MARRY HER FAST!!
Her type is very scarce o..
I hate sharing opinions on issues as this but I could not just resist seeing your post. All you wrote are assumptions and you somehow found a way to make it look good to the point that you asked him to go ahead and marry her. I totally disagree.

1. Sex was always an issue with them and led to break up on several occasions.

Possible Meaning: Her moral compass must be golden or perhaps she never really lived the dude and never found him sexually attractive.

2. She dated her campus boyfriend for four years BUT got pregnant for ANOTHER. Note the 'ANOTHER' is neither the OP nor the campus boyfriend whom she dated while in school, assuming her course is a four year course.

Possible Meaning: There is no way I would believe she dated her campus love for four years without having sex with him.

3. She got pregnant for another man and made up her mind to keep it against her parents wishes. Sadly, she lost it 7 months after.

Meaning: This is the man she loves. A lady could do something crazy that would beat one's imagination for just that one dude and you would get to wonder why. The answer is simple. The man is definitely the only one person her life revolves around. How about we also ask why she never continued with the man after she lost the baby?

My submission: Attraction of all forms matter in relationship. She never really loved the OP was never attracted to him. For reasons, I believe it is safe to say nothing has changed.

She strikes me as one of these ladies who prioritise marriage as the ultimate and would not be bothered to settle down immediately. The red flag here is that she would likely bring the 'no sex' form forward to be filled like she did in the past while she didn't waste time in giving others.

The OP was never really a back up plan even. He is the next available bus she could hop into.

6 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Sterope(f): 1:09pm On Jul 22, 2017
Don't mind the people defending him. That was why I ignored them.

Amberon11:
This Nigga didn't just sleep with anyone. He slept with her relative. If he could sleep with her relative then he can sleep with her sister or cousin. This guy is worse than a hypocrite.

1 Like

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by ogahug: 1:10pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?


Her getting pregnant must have been a regrettable mistake to her. However, she was courageous to keep the pregnancy though she suffered a still birth.

Guy, if you love her and you are at home with her virtues, then go for her and marry her without any delay. She has just scored 'A' in sincerity which is very good. I sincerely commend her for refusing you sex when you made advances on her because if she had yielded you would have impregnated her, aborted the baby and dumped her. You are only considering her now because she looks chaste. Maybe God actually allowed all that passed to make her available for you today. If you leave, then you will go and look for another Angel somewhere else.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by cyberguy72(m): 1:10pm On Jul 22, 2017
NoToPile:


Thank you.

See them huffing and puffing coz of sex na wa oo

Op I repeat the problem you have with this girl is sex and she is very smart to say no till marriage.
But she has been giving it to other guys na.

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