My first son will be 5,by December and i am always happy when I check his report card as he us very brilliant though I dpnt say with my family regularly i do stay with them like two weekends in a month due to the nature and location of my job. I was siprised when his mother told Me that my son was asking a girl in hls class to open her pant.I was not really happy with this as I could not not sleep well having series of thought. I asked my son himself and he told me exactly. I know he does not know how to tell lies but am worried seriously. Any constructive advice are welcome thanks

You need to spend some quality time with your kids. Give them the FATHER'S TALK.


Kids tend to learn some immoral things when among their peers in school(probably during breaks​, when they hangout together---------They share lots of things that even their TEACHERS aren't conscious about . So that aspect isn't really your fault...You just need to show him how wrong it is to say something like that

One thing with children is they get more curious as they grow up and the society today doesn't help at all.


Did you ask him why he wanted the girl to pull her pant? Get to know his motives and start the correction from there. Whenever you are at home spend a lot of talk time with him, get to know what he thinks and how feels, what he has seen, questions he wants to ask, things he wants to know and answer them wisely.


You don't necessarily have to quit your job, his mum is there but do make the little time you get to spend with him worth all the wait.

Well, don't feel bad. Address the issue appropriately,

Firstly, don't scold him, children are very innocent, you've got to spend time with him. Censor what he watches, even cartoons (not all cartoons pass the right message) who he plays with, get to know his friends & what kind of family they come from.

Have a talk with him & let him know it is inappropriate to say such to anyone. However busy you're make sure you squeeze time for your family.

Your son might currently be abused hence his knowledge and questions.
I suggest you ask him questions along those lines, is there someone who asks him to pull his pants? Is there a female who pulls her pants and asks he fingers/sucks her?
Child abuse is real and is currently rampant so don't rule out the fact your 4yr old could be a victim

You are doing what is best for your family... Do not beat your self too hard.. besides kids doesn't come with manual just like products...

Sit him down and let him know how proud you are of him especially his academic.. then you let him know that daddy is not happy that he did so and so... that it is not good for good boys to behave that way...

And please behave carefully when you are around and playing with your wife man more especially if you are living in one bedroom apartment and he doesn't have a room of his own.. he may have picked it from you.. u thought that he was sleeping but he wasn't.. just pretending.. and he may have witnessed certain things...

U don't need to be disturbed by what you heard ur son said.
He is growing and he demands answers to certain questions.
Anyway, it is important you drum it in his ears that it is bad to see the private body of anyone boys, girls, man and woman.
Let him understand the importance of closing his eyes when he accidentally runs into an naked person.

Of course he will ask y, the simple answer to it is that God frowns at it and it is the route to destruction. Give him pictorial examples.

You can get pictures from the internet and show him ugly pictures of sex perverts. The pictures stays in his memory because he would not like to look like them.

And finally spend time with ur children when you come around, so that you can what goes around them especially especially association with other kids and their teachers cos u can't rule out bad influences and abusers.
Let them see u watching good TV programs and of course u and ur wife should undressing around him and don't forget to pray with them and for them.

God bless you

You should ask him why he made the statement and find out what inspired it. That is how you get to the root of the problem and figure out a solution

Op get to find out why he said that and also make sure nobody is pulling down HIS pant. Be careful about how you go about it, talk to him like a friend he can trust, that way you'll be able to know the truth. If you shout at him, there's a higher chance he feel the need to lie to you

And be your son's best friend. Start teaching him how to say "no", speak up and stuff. Let him know what he did is wrong. Just try to gain his trust because obviously he's learning stuffs from outside.

Sometimes what one did as a kid will come back to haunt you as a parent. It's your fault, Monkey no dey born Baboon, Cow no dey born goat, thief no dey born pastor, professor no dey born dullard, fruit no dey fall too far from tree, i hope you understand? Address this issue thoroughly

Pidgin2:
Sometimes what one did as a kid will come back to haunt you as a parent. It's your fault, Monkey no dey born Baboon, Cow no dey born goat, thief no dey born pastor, professor no dey born dullard, fruit no dey fall too far from tree, i hope you understand? Address this issue thoroughly

" thief no dey born pastor'' but pastor dey born thief even armed robbers

Bros, lion no dey born goat
Na your carboncopy be that

After your wife relayed to you the statement the boy made, try to find out what corrections she already gave the boy.

Build on that.

He is showing the tendencies of a guy who will be a pervert. There is not much you can do. He has shown those traits already at a young age which will follow him into adulthood. Ppl rarely change, their characters are formed in childhood

1Sharon:
He is showing the tendencies of a guy who will be a pervert. There is not much you can do. He has shown those traits already at a young age which will follow him into adulthood. Ppl rarely change, their characters are formed in childhood

How can you say this about a child ? This is grossly irresponsible of you !!!

Your child, like every adult you see today, is going through a phase. We all, at one point or the other while growing up, acted/played a similar role. Some peeped at opposite sex, some lustfully examined female teachers, some "tapped current", others look out of female colleagues who sit wrongly, and in the process open their legs, some watched porn, etc.
In fact, some will deliberately sit with female classmates in order to do, or at least, see the unthinkable, even without talking, a lot run through their minds.

Your child like many adult you see today will kiss, hug, have sex, probably before 19. While you may feel the need to correct and warn him to stay off such attitudes, try and look back, and you'll discover that you did something similar in your primary school, EVERYBODY did actually. Don't write him off, he might grow up to become a very moral and highly disciplined man.

I understand that you have to be away from home but you should start thinking of a way to move your family to your location or a transfer for you.

Your son is in his formative years and you see him like 4-5 days in a month??

All the money you are chasing cannot take the place of a parent who is present.

If this job is for a short while,fine but if it's a long term thing you will regret it at time goes on.

This is the time for you and wife to instill and enforce whatever character and morals you want for your kids.

At 5 though he is being curious,you need to teach him about his privates and how to respect other people's own.

Cheers!

1Sharon:
He is showing the tendencies of a guy who will be a pervert. There is not much you can do. He has shown those traits already at a young age which will follow him into adulthood. Ppl rarely change, their characters are formed in childhood

This is totally unacceptable.This child will grow to be a massive blessing to his parents.
Its just a phase that will pass with proper guidance.

1Sharon:
He is showing the tendencies of a guy who will be a pervert. There is not much you can do. He has shown those traits already at a young age which will follow him into adulthood. Ppl rarely change, their characters are formed in childhood

Jeez! can you just shoot the poor child already? He is just 5years old for crying out loud. What he said was obviously learnt or heard from his peers in school.

He has no idea the implication of what he said.

Op what you need to do is go to his school and have a heart to heart talk with his head teacher or Aunty, lay your complaints and insist the teachers stop your son from associating with his current friends and if possible his current seating position be changed.

His issue can be well handled.

My first son is nearly 6 so i know what its like and your concerns.

you must follow up seriously but carefully. go through what pictures he has around him and find out if by chance he listens to naija music often and if he watches telemundo with his mum. unfortunate that our songs are contaminants now rather than soothing...
that's your first move
then you guide him in speech and actions. like when you see two guys fighting tell him this is wrong or when you hear swear words etc from people around draw his attention to it and tell him why its wrong and tell him the right thing to say or do....that's how to father a child.
goodluck.

That's the spirit of rocco or kingtblakhoc. He is a star.

Don't scold,talk to him like a good father .
Then check if ;
You touch wify in his presence, like lovey dovy touches?
Does the maid open her pant and ask him to peep?
The kids next door?
Check all corners something might be lurking

keepingmum:
Your son might currently be abused hence his knowledge and questions.
I suggest you ask him questions along those lines, is there someone who asks him to pull his pants? Is there a female who pulls her pants and asks he fingers/sucks her?
Child abuse is real and is currently rampant so don't rule out the fact your 4yr old could be a victim

You nailed it, someone is telling him to open his pant. God help our children