I've gradually developed a haunting paranoia about getting committed to any woman - either for a serious relationship or marriage. This, admittedly, is a big problem. However, my paranoia stems from the conviction that most women may sooner or later cheat on you. And being made a cuckold would CERTAINLY make me commit murder.

There are many reasons why a wife's cheating is extremely objectionable. But consider these two:

1. A man goes through the rigorous hassles of asking for her hand in marriage, blowing hard-earned money on a colourful wedding, renting a home, etc etc, only for another goat to bleep her mercilessly, for free, without going through all that hassle?

2. All her burdens are borne by her husband: she falls sick, the man pays the bills and runs helter skelter and bears the burden to ensure she's well. And then, she freely fcuks another goat who has zero responsibility over her many burdens and woes?

My paranoia isn't unfounded because my extensive experience and others' i've witnessed shows how love-peddling an awful lot of women are. And how super-talented they are at hiding their seedy exploits. Even the most innocent looking or 'well behaved' ones may have committed the most horrendous acts imaginable. Who doesnt know how many ugly things they do in secret?

They bleep to get admission into school. bleep to get good grades. bleep to graduate. bleep to get a job. bleep their bosses to get promotions. bleep to keep their jobs. bleep their 'pastor' for prayers. bleep their 'ex' who they still have a thing for.  bleep for all kinds of favours. bleep bleep bleep! And the painful part? The cuckold of a boyfriend/fiancé/husband is PERFECTLY UNAWARE, and goes on taking (personal) responsibility for his (public) property; his wife is another goat's biatch. And when any of the goats see the cuckold, he silently derides him as a fool, and feels 'superior'. Gosh.

We can argue that it's not all women that have that tendency. I agree. But the BIG PROBLEM is: How do you tell who's who? They're all Oscar-winning actresses by nature! The slutty ones are a no-brainer for sure, but the so-called 'good girls' are probably just better pretenders (which is my main problem). So, how do i tell which 'good' girl is really GOOD? The type of woman that would rather lose her job than cheat on me with her boss!

An incredibly successful playboy i know (who has bedded hundreds of women, all types, many with boyfriends or even married) told me this: "there is nothing like a good girl; there are only bad or not yet bad". My own experience compels me to agree.

Well you can always get a couple or 10 cats and dogs.

Live with it.
Women have been living with the fact that most husbands eventually marry another wife or solicit for sex outside the matrimonial home from time immemorial.
Did we now say we no marry again?
Now the roles are being reversed and you are crying wolf, better take it like a MAN!!!

stillwater:

Live with it.
Women have been living with the fact that most husbands eventually marry another wife or solicit for intimacy outside the matrimonial home from time immemorial.
Did we now say we no marry again?
Now the roles are being reversed and you are crying wolf, better take it like a MAN!!!

Take it like a man indeed. Next thing you girls would be mouthing "insecure" bla bla. The 'secure' man is he who condones your cheating, right? Or harbours the foolish illusion of its impossibility, right? The roles havn't changed. They'd change when women start paying a 'groom price'; start footing all the bills; bear responsibility for everything; and become the head of the home! Then it'd be easier to live with the idea of a cheating wife. This silly and baseless tiit-for-tat shoulder-rubbing with men makes me sick.

There's nothin wrong abt being paranoid.

Just be open minded & u'll see reasons 2 get married.

Just dont let ur paranoia get d best of u. the right girl 4 u is just around d corner.

Ebony, I knew you were going to be here, abeg lets set this bobo straight.

@O/P Get off your self righteous pedestal. How many men recklessly screw around with young girls while they are married?? Some men have absolutely no reason to cheat, yet they go out and cheat because they can't keep their pants zipped up. How many men have infected their wives with all kinds of STD's yet wives still lay with their husbands to perfom their duties. HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED. If you say women are bad, then its Men who taught them or pushed them to be bad girls. Se fini.

Like Ebony said, if you are paranoid, get some dogs and cats to keep you company

this is like my cousin's friend who doesnt want to get married because he feels women are only after his money.

Your paranoia is getting the best of you man. It's not compulsory to marry you know.

Kinda agree with that the era of good girls is over for ever, but hey what can you do?

Not all these girls are that bad you know.

@poster
why dont you just enjoy the ride?! YOU are the one insecure thinking of marriage etc like its a disease that when you get it you cant get rid of it, . . . . . . . .
just date and enjoy the gal until she starts getting too close, THATS when you tell her that you are not ready for it and move on to the next one.
by then, you would have had a few months of pleasure and "free" use of the toto. the catch is to not get hooked. men like you are the kind that get hooked very easily thats why you cant even trust yourself with a female.

"as if dating someone meant that you have to marry them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

ps: however nasty/crazy/bitchy or whatever you think women are, WE CANT LIVE WITHOUT THEM so better get use to the craziness!

If you're Paranoid about marriage remain single. Chikena!

@poster for you to be paranoid about marriage is too extreme,but it's natural to be scared when you are about to take a step u've not taken before,especially a big one like marriage. U can't really get through it,until u go through it!

@ MrBrownJay
Kindly spare me the bastardized words 'insecure' and 'trust'. Women use the former to blackmail their man when he smells a rat; and use the latter to block his nosetrils to prevent further 'smelling'.

@ all the others
The responses so far prove the age-old maxim that 'a pleasant illusion is often preferred to the unpleasant reality'. There are two categories of illusionists in this regard: Female & Male. The female know themselves to be what i've described, but prefer to clutch at straws by saying 'men cheat too', and also spew clever-by-half sarcasms. The men on the other hand, prefer to bask in 'blissful ignorance' of their women's promiscuity since 'what you dont know won't hurt you'. All good. But just cant stand a thought of paying great costs for a peddlar whose 'goods' arent mine alone. Women. See how Wayne Bridge's wife was fcking John Terry! Eeew. Just imagine the cynical glee Terry would have had when talking with Bridge in the England locker room. And these shiit happens a lot but only a few ever comes to light. Shege.

Flings and no-string-attached liaisóns seem the best way to keep going.

At poster , believe it or not u arent the only one facing this problem, alot of Nigerian guys r facing the same problem and i can bet u that in a couple of years to come we ld be following the footsteps of our european/american counterparts.'having children outside of wedlock'.

pro01:

@ MrBrownJay
Kindly spare me the bastardized words 'insecure' and 'trust'. Women use the former to blackmail their man when he smells a rat; and use the latter to block his nosetrils to prevent further 'smelling'.

@ all the others
The responses so far prove the age-old maxim that 'a pleasant illusion is often preferred to the unpleasant reality'. [/b]There are two categories of illusionists in this regard: Female & Male. The female know themselves to be what i've described, but prefer to clutch at straws by saying 'men cheat too', and also spew clever-by-half sarcasms. The men on the other hand, prefer to bask in 'blissful ignorance' of their women's promiscuity since 'what you dont know won't hurt you'. All good. But just cant stand a thought of paying great costs for a peddlar whose 'goods' arent mine alone. [b]Women. See how Wayne Bridge's wife was fcking John Terry! Eeew. Just imagine the cynical glee Terry would have had when talking with Bridge in the England locker room. And these shiit happens a lot but only a few ever comes to light. Shege.

Flings and no-string-attached liaisóns seem the best way to keep going.

the problem is you're refusing to look beyond your experiences. your arguments against women can easily be used against men; John Terry was cheating on his wife too. it's hard for anyone, male or female, to commit to a serious relationship. both men and women cheat and it always hurts the partner.

pro01:

So, how do i tell which 'good' girl is really GOOD? The type of woman that would rather lose her job than cheat on me with her boss!

there's no way to tell upfront, you have to get involved to know. but seriously, who is really GOOD?

@ Poster

Clearly, you have a very serious phsychological problem . . . I'm wondering what got you this messed up and all I can think of is . . maybe your mum cheated/cheats on your dad!

It's a pity you've decided to hold on to an imaginary idea that 'all women cheat' (which btw is bulls.h.i.t), just to justify your own infidelities and philandering. If you want to keep sleeping around instead of doing the ho nourable thing by settling down with ONE woman and starting a family, then by all means, be my guest!

But don't you dare put this on us, cos you and I both know that these posts of yours is full of cr.ap!

PS: Its okay too if you want to chicken out of your responsibility as a man, we've got a lot of you running around these days. Nobody's gonna force you to take care of your wife and family. But if I ever meet you and you say this cr.ap to my face, so help me God, I'll fix you!

@poster, you need to move in the right circles. There are still plenty of good girls around. Why am I even saying this?? From your post, you don't deserve a good girl! You are crying "Cheating women, cheating women, cheating women!" As if they are f**king goats or dogs! Is it not men that they are f**king? So for every cheating woman, there must be a bad man to help her cheat. Therefore, if all women are bad then all men are bad too.

^^^ Really you don't have to tell him that, I'm sure he already knows. He's just being a psycopathic idiot.

@ poster

In a sense I get where you're coming from (in the paranoid about marriage sense, not in the all women are cheats sense). But if you think you have something to complain about, think about marriage from a girls' point of view. We don't get the luxury to be paranoid because by early 20s we're under pressure from society and from biology to start thinking seriously of marriage. On the other hand, lets be honest, Nigerian men are not notorious for being faithful, nor does society put any pressure on them to be faithful. So if you think you're paranoid, as a girl, I'm paranoid because I have more to lose and I'm in more danger if it doesn't work out.

Your reasons for paranoia are basically summarized as a girl can embarrass you and make you look silly and mugu-rize you. Ok, Nigerian women are not protected in a marriage situation. Things like abuse, financial dependence (even if you work), even simple decisions about your everyday life are kind of at the whim of your husband. Yes of course legally, you have rights, but in practice, in society, you are not protected, you are subject to what kind of husband you marry. And rarely is it the other way round. My paranoia stems from the fact that whereas as a singleton, my life is somewhat my own, in a marriage, for a woman, a lot is dependent on her husband and God help her if she's made a mistake.

I don't want to turn this into a Nigerian men suck discussion, but to be quite honest, guys examine yourself, a lot of you (even the "nice" ones) don't feel that you have to treat women with respect (and yes I know your excuse is that women can't be trusted etc but still. . . ) and society turns a blind eye and there are no real repercussions as there are for girls who aren't good to their men. So really if any gender had a reason to be paranoid, it's us. But even though marriage is a gamble, you have to pray that you make a good decision in spouse and work on the relationship and believe it's going to work out, and take the leap of faith when you think it's right, and if you feel you can't do these things, then as someone here (and Paul in the Bible) said, it's not necessary to marry.

pro01:

Take it like a man indeed. Next thing you girls would be mouthing "insecure" bla bla. The 'secure' man is he who condones your cheating, right? Or harbours the foolish illusion of its impossibility, right? The roles havn't changed. [b]They'd change when women start paying a 'groom price'; start footing all the bills; bear responsibility for everything; and become the head of the home! [/b]Then it'd be easier to live with the idea of a cheating wife. This silly and baseless tiit-for-tat shoulder-rubbing with men makes me sick.

Yes take it like a man!!!
Are you people tired of being the head? Being the head no sweet you again? Haha thought I would never see this day. Roflmao. You want to run away from your responsibilities? In your dreams. You must be the "head", if your wife cheats, you have to take it the same way women have looked the other way where cheating husbands are concerned. If the roles haven't changed you wouldn't be subjected to this your paranoia . Ok, ok, instead of saying roles, let's say women are trying to reach that state of equilibrium with you guys on the cheating scale. Can you give us tips, so we can hasten the process?

You've been watching too many home videos with women potrayed in bad light.

Ujujoan:

^^^ Really you don't have to tell him that, I'm sure he already knows. He's just being a psycopathic idiot.

Your vile, personal attacks show that you epitomize the most abominable maladies of womanhood. I won't deign to waste my time on a fish-wife like you.

^^^
Oh you havent seen 'personal' yet. Meet me on a good day and I'll have you eating your words. >;(

After making such a stupid post you expect to be cuddled You are definitely sicker that i thought!

^^^

I can't remember mentioning your name in my post. But the guilty beast in you is seeking to draw blood because the personal opinions expressed by me exposes your slimy underbelly. Please take your itchy, STD filled body elsewhere. Trollop.


@ Tatase,
Thanks jare. At least you 'get' my raison d'etre a bit. I didn't say ALL women are cheats o, please. I said 'women' in the very elastic, loose sense in which we tend to make arguments (e.g Ijebus are stingy, igbos like money too much, calabar girls like sex too much, etc. etc.). The staggering instances of this that I have personally experienced, and others I've witnessed and heard about, all conspired to build this paranoia in me. In any case, I admit that only a divine solution can get me out of this fix.


@ my 'dear' Stillwater and all the others,

I am perpetually perplexed by women's inability to think or act rationally or logically. You haven't made a case in defence of yourself or women as a whole. All you keep doing, essentially, is rationalizing women's cheating by whimpering that "men cheat too", or "men make the woman bad", in other words, men are as guilty as women and so should have no moral right to complain. With due respect this line of reasoning is supremely shallow!

If you comprehend my posts, as I suspect that you do, you will easily see that I did not infer or suggest or claim that men do not cheat; that is already a fact that needs not be belaboured. HOWEVER, it is imperative for you to ACCEPT the fact that society condones and in fact, 'conventionalizes' male promiscuity. Doesn't that explain why there's polygamy? Why not try to marry three husbands and see what happens? I'm definitely not being chauvinistic here, please. I'm being realistic. It makes little sense to fret and whine over this ugly reality. It makes even littler sense to now use men's (conventionalized) cheating as basis for you women to cheat too. Come' on! And I think the whole cat-cry for gender-equality and all that is really a hypocritical farce. How can you be equal with someone to whom you relinquish all financial (and other) responsibilities? How can you be equal with someone whom you expect to 'take care' of you, 'pamper' you. 'spoil you' bla bla. When (esp. African) society evolves to the point where women would rise to the occasion and share all these 'responsibilities', only then can gender-equality begin to be a possibility. (The dutch, for instance are almost at that level now). Anyways, I don't want to make this a back and forth argument (because I know you can never win women with logic or reason, sorry).

I do not intend to cheat on my wife (if I ever find that special someone worth taking that plunge with). However, my own wahala is that I cannot imagine the possibility of going through the hassle of marrying someone - whom I would take under my care to love, cater for, nourish, protect and assume full resposnibilities for all her future woes - only for her to freely give herself to any goat outside UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE WHATSOEVER. That, for me, would be Armageddon. My ego just can't live with that.

See Wayne Brigde's wife. Bleeping John Terry (her husband's best friend and captain), and even getting pregnant for him (I won't blame Terry too much because, think of it, did he coerce or rape her? No!!! Is she a baby? No!!!). Their escapades even took place in Bridge's own $6M home, in his bedroom! What was her pathetic excuse? That Bridge got a new club so far away so she was lonely and Terry was 'there' for her. That she's known Terry long before meeting Bridge and that they were close "friends". (read the full story here, www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/01/31/england-captain-john-terry-got-wayne-bridge-s-girlfriend-pregnant-115875-22007179/ )

Now when you complain to these dubious girls that you ain't comfortable with them keeping such male 'friends', they are quick to blackmail you with that yeye word 'insecure'. You see? Now, each new example of this sort of thing reinforces my paranoia. Even moreso because only 1% of it ever get exposed; the rest would be taking place under your nose and you'll be there playing lover boy, taking full responsibility for another goat's biatch, not knowing that you're a big, fat, stupid cuckold. Where can I get a girl that would RATHER DIE than betray me that way and make me a laughing stock!

pro01:

@ MrBrownJay
Kindly spare me the bastardized words 'insecure' and 'trust'. Women use the former to blackmail their man when he smells a rat; and use the latter to block his nosetrils to prevent further 'smelling'

bro, you shouldnt care about how/why or who uses these words but instead use your brain to decide for yourself about this issue.
i will repeat and say that any man our there who cannot use his own judgment and brain to say to a woman I DONT WANT TO MARRY YOU and stand by his words, is an insecure puppet.
only an insecure guy wouldnt have the balls to tell the truth to his gf.  who said there was an obligation to marry someone just because YOUR PARTENR wants to? this is stupidity at the highest level and only a weak mind would go for this ishhhh. a strong person would tell it like it is: "hey babe, i am not ready for marriage and if it is that important to you right now then i guess you should go and look for that guy because it aint me"

you should live for yourself and enjoy life the best you can UNMARRIED or not, just because marriage aint for you, doesnt mean you cant enjoy the ride.

be your own person even if that means that you have to break a few hearts along the way but stand by what you believe in and dont let any person out there change you "in the name of love"
to each their own!

[flash=425,344]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U1QJpJ1ULA&hl=en_US&fs=1&"[/flash]

lolz. all this stems from the stupid azz mentality xtians have pushed into yall minds. who the fck told u that u hav to live wit sum1 4 eva and be married 2 them? once u remove that tripe the issue becomes a lot easier. when u cant stand d shit remove urself from the arrangement. its gonna end someday anyways. and even the same xtians agree that u aint gonna be married on the other side! so y be a prisoner here. @poster dnt wori ur mind. link up with me and i will draft u an iron clad pre nup agreement to safeguard ur cash n assets. we will even get a judge 2 be the witness. this aint america no one gonna play games. look 4 one u can stomach her excesses a bit and if she wants it that bad she has to sign up. no cuffs on u. anyway isnt that all they counsel anyway. abi wat is the tolerance and love if not that. and when u cant stand it again u leave peacefully. all these forever bullsh*t

lolz. all this stems from the silly azz mentality xtians have pushed into yall minds. who the fck told u that u hav to live wit sum1 4 eva and be married 2 them?

Four GBOSA for you.

pro01:

Your vile, personal attacks show that you epitomize the most abominable maladies of womanhood. I won't deign to waste my time on a fish-wife like you.

I doubt if Ujujoan would want a fish-husband like yourself either. Ujujoan is a good girl and like I said earlier, you don't deserve one lol. How can someone be programmed to think that all women are cheats by default? I suppose your Mum cheats on your Dad too. Not meaning to be rude by bringing your parents into this but your paranoia is absolutely horrible and could prevent you from having a healthy relationship with any woman.

pro01:

^^^

I can't remember mentioning your name in my post. But the guilty beast in you is seeking to draw blood because the personal opinions expressed by me exposes your slimy underbelly. Please take your itchy, STD filled body elsewhere. Trollop.

You made it personal when you generalized! Remember when you said 'there were no good girls' . . . Even if I wasn't one, I'd definitely have a mother who is, or sisters who are! Now when a no good man like you decided to attack my character, just because you've associated with prostitues all your life, I tend to get irritated.

When you talk about Wayne's wife and John T, I;m like, this guys is certifiably crazy. You decided to ignore all the good wives and mothers and use the bad egg as your role model  

lizzybabe1:

I doubt if Ujujoan would want a fish-husband like yourself either. Ujujoan is a good girl and like I said earlier, you don't deserve one lol. How can someone be programmed to think that all women are cheats by default? I suppose your Mum cheats on your Dad too. Not meaning to be rude by bringing your parents into this but your paranoia is absolutely horrible and could prevent you from having a healthy relationship with any woman.

Dont mind him. When he gets over his paronia, he'll be lucky to get a wife who's half the woman I am, or any other woman in this forum is, for that matter! 

@MrBrownJay
We're apparently on the same page on the matter bro; you just seem to misunderstand me a bit. I'm sure as death not gonna be railroaded or 'stampeded' into marriage by any girl. Can't even get myself committed in the first instance! Thats the whole point of the thread. But i'd change my mind if ever i find a really and truly good woman. 1 luv bro.

@ Lizzybabe01
It is dastardly for you to introduce parents into the matter. But i'd resist the temptation to descend into the putrid depths where you're already champion. I'd rather leave you to rot in your own filth.

@ Fishwife, emm, ujujoan,

Seems your guilty conscience just won't let you be? Your roster of cheating must stink to high heavens. Well, if your man (cuckold in fact) doesnt kill you, the STDs probably will.

^^^ @ least I'm not paranoid!

Did you check the meaning of that word before you used it? Incase you don't know, it's a psychological disorder. Which means you belong in a mental facility, you are so clearly out of place here!

pro01:

@ Lizzybabe01
It is dastardly for you to introduce parents into the matter. But i'd resist the temptation to descend into the putrid depths where you're already champion. I'd rather leave you to rot in your own filth.

I knew you would say that but you should have thought about that possibility before attacking all women, considering the fact that your Mum is a woman and you probably have sisters and cousins who are also women.
It's still amazing how you associate women with immorality, evil, STDs etc because that has been your only punchline throughout this thread - which still leads me to believe that the majority of women (female friends, sisters, mother) around you are STD-infested, immoral, evil and corrupt. I see where you are coming from. You've been deeply wounded by some wicked females.  
Now stop repeating the same old lines about STDs and immorality lol. We already know you have a history with such women.