I used to be like many of the whiners here on Nairaland, “Oh I'm so in love with this babe but she's treating me badly, what do I do? what do I do?”. That was a long time ago and now I am wise and believe me I learnt from the school of hard knocks, this women dealt with me mercilessly until I actually sat down to analyze them and their ways and figured out the language they speak. If you think maintaining a woman is about excess love, showing affection, kindness, forgiveness, religion and all that bullsh*t, you're dead wrong, treat a woman too good, she will find an excuse to leave ( “I was once dumped by a chick who later told her friend, I was 'too nice'.”). But they will stay with an “omo rapala” that mistreats them day after day after day.


Even fellowship girls are still tempted by young men of the world and leave their fellow fellowship brothers to look for bad boys to convert. They are never satisfied with a squeaky clean good man. To them every guy that is too good is a nuisance. Even the ones that are married have only calmed down and become good in order to trap a husband that offers them security or at least a husband that has managed to figure out their buttons. Be wise, young men, be wise.

Maintaining women of all shapes ages and sizes is all about control and remaining in control. The moment you lose control, you lose yourself and a woman will ride you till the very end. Some people say all sorts of rubbish, “Oh my woman is not like that, she's different”, all that one na story, Eve betrayed Adam, Delilah betrayed Samson, so who on earth is your woman that she won't act like those that came before her?

There are different levels of control, there is no control, artificial control and true control. No control is the default situation most guys fall into. They love a woman and believe everything she says in the heat of passion ”I'll never ever leave you”, “I can't wait to marry you” etc etc, and deceive themselves into overconfidence and over love. A no control guy does not know how to tell his babe no and is always apologizing even when it is not his fault. When they start exhibiting too much attention and love, the chick gets bored and starts looking for “rude boys” somewhere. Then her mind starts wavering and she starts telling you “I need space”, “I'm confused”. When you hear these words you're in trouble.

Unfortunately most young guy today no dey hear word and they will start reminiscing about the sweet nothings the babe told them when the going was good and continue to misbehave and show over love and over affection. Meanwhile one bad guy fit dey comb the babe for corner somewhere. In the end the chick leaves and the guy is in a wreck, crying, complaining to his friends begging etc and at that point the girl no go wan hear again, anything you're saying is a waste of time. A chick will bring up some of the dumbest excuses when she wants to dump you. She might regret leaving you later but all that one na Tales By Moonlight what matters is the wrecked condition she will leave you in at that moment.


The next level of control is artificial control. Artificial control works a lot in Nigeria today, and people exercise this level of control primarily by having money. This is what the so called big boys and sugar daddies use to maintain their babes. Some poor guys starving on their pocket money and University allowances even try to maintain this level of control to their own downfall. With artificial control a girl might screw around but will not really leave you until she finds another guy with better control than you. The best way to use artificial control is ruthlessly, if you have money and control them with money make sure you take no crap from them or else they will turn you to a MUGU and you fall into the no control category even though you have money.

Remember money is relative. Some guy has more than you somewhere. Some guys exercise artificial control through other means as well, such as being older, being in a bigger office, better school, living in a bigger house etc. Until the chick meets someone with better control she will not leave but always remember you are in control and use it to your advantage. Don't boast about it though as they really hate it when you point out that the reason they are with you is because of artificial control ( even though we know its true). All those threads written by sacked bankers on Nairaland who have lost their babes are a result of the artificial control category. Control go, babe go.

Guys without money should remember this ( University boys open your eyes) the moment you start spending to maintain control, you will never stop and this is a problem when you do not have money so students, graduate trainees and people without money should avoid money artificial control as much as possible. You will only wreck yourself financially, because they will only get greedier and you will find out you cannot keep up and she will use the money you have used to better her looks, wardrobe and her life to find a replacement for you. They always want to upgrade. If you have money to spend it is okay to use artificial control just make sure you do it in a responsible way, not in a way chicks will use “MUGU” to replace your name on their phones.


The last control category is true control. Maintain this level of control and you are the true guru. You are the Don Juan, the guy women trip and fall down for regardless of whether or whether not. The true control man is in control of EVERYTHING. He will not chase a babe he cannot control or who he knows will want to lord over him. Before he spends his money on a woman he makes sure that she knows who is in control and spends his money sparingly, in fact she might spend more than him. If she tells him she is in her male corpers friends house sleeping because she does not have light he laughs and tells her “I hope he knows how to screw well, I know you're probably lonely”. It might pain him inside but you will never see it, because he knows that if she finds out he is jealous he is finished, if she feels he is not jealous, she will correct herself and find call him 20 times a day to make sure he truly loves her.


The guy who shouts at his babe and tells her what sort of nonsense is that ( why should she sleep in Mr Corper-With-Generator's house) is maintaining artificial control, she will tell him she won't do it again and do it the next day and for the next 10 months, and get combed mercilessly by Mr. Corper-With-Generator and his colleagues. It takes 10 minutes for a quickie and that place does not have a gauge you will use to measure who did and did not do when she comes back. Artificial control men and no control men should take note.

In fact most of the accomplished true control guys have barricaded their hearts a long time ago. They show affection strategically and when a chick leasts expects it. They are not always complete bast@rds, they will send flowers and call a babe to check on how she is doing but they do it strategically and sparingly. Too much of ice cream and chocolate is not good. Too much visiting of woman is not good. Calling her more than she calls you is an equally stupid idea. If she calls twice call once. What bothers other guys does not bother men of true control. Even if they love a chick they will never show it more than the chick shows it. They say I love you three times a year. This sort of guy might love a chick but still screw one or two around to ensure that he remains in control of his senses.

Sex is sex, love is a different kettle of fish. Sex helps you keep things in perspective. Screw one woman too much, you might become stupid and lose control. Fidelity is over rated my brothers, you can love a woman but don't confuse it with being faithful. If she suspects you are screwing outside, thats okay for them, just make sure you're never caught and she only suspects, suspicion is good, it keeps her on her feet, she knows she can be replaced. When she sees that text message on your phone, tell her “you are the only one for me “ and buy enough “ chocolate and flowers” and then leave her to think. But NEVER keep two chicks, you should have one chick and the occasional ones you are chopping outside to maintain perspective and self-control, that way you won't create unnecessary problems for yourself. If you are not on the financial capability of Atiku Abubakar, polygamy is a bad idea. If you can retain control without screwing outside, fine for you. But the day your woman is caught screwing outside, you will feel seriously cuckolded and feel like a fool.

A true control guy will NEVER date a woman he cannot control. A woman who does not respect you is one you have no control over, these women do not understand equality, look at the divorce rate in America ! A true control guy has ALL control but he never uses money to control too much. He never makes it about money or how much he has. Most true control guys have more money than the women they control, other much more skilled true control guys may have less money but always make sure that she knows who is boss. Because once you let a women who's money is longer than yours gain control, you are finished. A true control guy also has koboko control ( meaning he knows how to give it to her in bed, if you do not know better learn by hiring a skilled Pay As You Go or else she will leave you for the first Mr. Magic Stick). In fact koboko control is way better than money control. Look at Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Honsou, you go no say na koboko dey at work, no be by fine face or too much money. ( No offense to Russel Simmons but he had artificial control).

A true control guy also has fashion control, he knows how to dress and be neat ( it might not be the most expensive stuff he wears but he looks smart and neat always, he has fashion sense). A true control guy also knows how to tell his babe no and stick to his no. They rarely say “I'm sorry” and always make a chick laugh or some other tactic to avoid using those words. A chicks friends will beef this sort of guy in public and on forums like Nairaland and berate their friends for dating him but will secretly dream of screwing him. It even helps when the guy acts nice to the chicks friends, but not too nice (as in we are all age-mates level, respect must be maintained at all costs, chicks know how to disrespect a guy who plays with them too much). All men should strive to attain true control. True control will give you peace of mind and undying attention.

Be wise, my brothers be wise, enough of these tears on Nairaland. These days more men come here to complain than women. This is a war we have to win at all costs. For the sake of the male reputation. For more advice, I am here all week. Remember I have been beaten before but I am now wise, I exercise true control now and take no nonsense from them. If you let them bring you down they will finish you and your village people will say it is the work of juju and your uncles and aunties.

i dnt know which is harder read this lengthy post or slap my gf to fall in line and maintain control. 

Read it and it will end all your worries. Slap your girlfriend and risk being called a woman beater.

i cant raise a hand on a woman, thats why i said its hard, but reading ur post is even harder. summarise it, just my advise.

@Poster.


Fortunately there are black men out in the REAL world how would never live their life's like RING MASTERS.


Guys who practice these tactics are CHILDREN, and will only KEEP the love of a child or insecure girl/woman.

Decent men are the reason why people are shedding tears on Nairaland,meanwhile people are combing their girlfriends/wives in hotels and in bedrooms.Life is not fair and i've learnt the hard way, if a word is enough for the wise,one lengthy page should suffice for the foolish and hard of hearing,

bros u talk wel wel i believe ur talk. i am facin a situation rit nw abeg drop me ur yahoo id mek we chat

I actually like the post, I feel that some women should behave the same way and dont let men run over


In fact most of the accomplished true control guys have barricaded their hearts a long time ago. They show affection strategically and when a chick leasts expects it. They are not always complete bast@rds, they will send flowers and call a babe to check on how she is doing but they do it strategically and sparingly. Too much of ice cream and chocolate is not good. Too much visiting of woman is not good. Calling her more than she calls you is an equally silly idea. If she calls twice call once. What bothers other guys does not bother men of true control. Even if they love a chick they will never show it more than the chick shows it. They say I love you three times a year. This sort of guy might love a chick but still screw one or two around to ensure that he remains in control of his senses.

this sounds like someone I know

LOL One person on NL comes to mind lol

I can be reached at the following email address femi.subair@yahoo.com. I may be able to chat now as I am currently online so add me if you wish.

tai2:

I can be reached at the following email address femi.subair@yahoo.com. I may be able to chat now as I am currently online so add me if you wish.

Do you have a post for women? Especially those who are not running after men with money?

Sure I might come up with a "How to Keep Your Man" especially for women who aren't after the contents of a guy's pocket and the kind of Mercedes he drives

.

Guy your post makes a lot of sense to experienced pple like moi. I wish ma fellow guys will get wiser and learn how to maintain real control rather that act like weaklings all the time. Nice one jor!  

tai2:

Sure I might come up with a "How to Keep Your Man" especially for women who aren't after the contents of a guy's pocket and the kind of Mercedes he drives

of course not, not when she has her own  hurry up with post na

madlady:



You always give good advice maybe I should shield my eyes and read it well

Thanks
Well, would[b] I [/b] reccomend this?  not really

Why? Because everyone is different, and not every guy can be the same as the poster says.
I liked it because I saw myself in the position, i have a bad habit of wanting control , but this could be good for ladies, so they wont be so soft

Too much bagging on a man, he will think you are whipped and think he can mess over you
Always asking for funds for upkeep, he will think he owns you.
Always keep an asset on the side- whether you are buying liquidated properties , or running a salon, make sure u have more than a man to rely on

Have outside friends,( male included) dress sexy, keep him on his toes, because he knows others are creaming for his spot

Thats what I saw in his posts, I dont agree with the cheating. I cant tolerate it for nothing, and I have never cheated.   

.

madlady:



I am reading your words more than the @posters, what does bagging mean (4real)

To be honest not sure it's all worth it

LOL, no problem. I feel like im translating it for ladies lol
Bagging is like sexing, Pretends he has diabetes, Dont give him too much sugar

Just enough to go by


But again, some people are naturally overly affectionate, those ones needs to take time before they rush into things as their hearts can be easily broken


whats no worth it? a man or reading the post?

platinumnk:


Well, would[b] I [/b] reccomend this?  not really because everyone is different, I liked it because I saw myself in the position, i have a bad habit of wanting control , but this could be good for ladies, so they wont be so soft

Too much bagging on a man, he will think you are whipped and think he can mess over you
Always keep an asset on the side- whether you are buying liquidated properties , or running a salon, make sure u have more than a man to rely on

Have outside friends, dress sexy, keep him on his toes, because he knows others are creaming for his spot

Thats what I saw in his posts, I dont agree with the cheating. I cant tolerate it for nothing, and I have never cheated.

Wanting control is Bad habit? Nah! It's no bad habit cos that's what you all need deep within yourselves, someone who's man enough to manipulate and control your emotions as well as the affairs of the relationship.

Emmerlee:

Wanting control is Bad habit? Nah! It's no bad habit cos that's what you all need deep within yourselves, someone who's man enough to manipulate and control your emotions as well as the affairs of the relationship.

Manipulate? since when is that word used for good? no, lol not someone to control me Lol I have a habit of controlling! Not that I like pansy men, like charioting a horse: the man may think hes running and pulling things (horse)
but I hold the reins

oooooo gawd

inno i sed im a geek but this is too mush!!!

pls pls somebody summarise this essay

in three simple sentences!!

No point reading the post, why would anyone want to control another human being? This craze for control is the very reason there is witchcraft and all the sort?
If you are worthy of respect she will give it to you, if she is just naturally troublesome then dont marry her all this talk of control is just pure madness

Tee_Jay:

No point reading the post, why would anyone want to control another human being? This craze for control is the very reason there is witchcraft and all the sort?
If you are worthy of respect she will give it to you, if she is just naturally troublesome then dont marry her all this talk of control is just pure madness

actually its quite sensible but u talk sense

@ TeeJay

Do you have a girlfriend or wife? Who is she and what does she do? So you don't want to control your relationship, you want your relationship to control you? You have to earn your woman's respect and that is what control is about. Love makes people act like fools, control is about restricting your inner fool so you can have a healthy relationship,

Because of women, you don turn philosopher? As far as women have what men will kill for, your mugu can never end!!! Live with it.

I used to be like many of the whiners here on Nairaland, “Oh I'm so in love with this babe but she's treating me badly, what do I do? what do I do?”. That was a long time ago and now I am wise and believe me I learnt from the school of hard knocks, this women dealt with me mercilessly until I actually sat down  to analyze them and their ways and figured out the language they speak.

Roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!

Be wise, my brothers be wise, enough of these tears on Nairaland. These days more men come here to complain than women. This is a war we have to win at all costs. For the sake of the male reputation. For more advice, I am here all week. Remember I have been beaten before but I am now wise, I exercise true control now and take no nonsense from them. If you let them bring you down they will finish you and your village people will say it is the work of juju and your uncles and aunties.

tai2:

@ TeeJay

Do you have a girlfriend or wife? Who is she and what does she do? So you don't want to control your relationship, you want your relationship to control you? You have to earn your woman's respect and that is what control is about. Love makes people act like fools, control is about restricting your inner fool so you can have a healthy relationship,

^^ wow

that actually sounds scary

i thought relationships were based on people acting natural

its when ur fake that they break down

when the real u comes out

*shakes head*

no matter hw much brain control and psychic abilities u think u have

if u aint compatible- u aint compatible!

stillwater:

Because of women, you don turn philosopher? As far as women have what men will kill for, your mugu can never end!!! Leave with it.


Roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL I dont know why, but Saurons name popped up 50 times when i read the 1st post

tai2:

@ TeeJay

Do you have a girlfriend or wife? Who is she and what does she do? So you don't want to control your relationship, you want your relationship to control you? You have to earn your woman's respect and that is what control is about. Love makes people act like fools, control is about restricting your inner fool so you can have a healthy relationship,

i never want to control anybody in my life? what for? Making yourself vulnerable is what love is all about, if you insist on holding back then u are going to have problems in ur relationship. If u are looking for someone to control them go get a girl from the village and "do" her as you please.
If its love we are talking about, then forget about controlling the partner

platinumnk:

LOL I dont know why, but Saurons name popped up 50 times when i read the 1st post

Naa Sauron only puts up a front. He's a chicken.

Lol, mugu was my story in the past, now I have the keys to control so I control, all this talk of being real is rubbish, This so-called love , ask yourself if you would stay in love with the person if they had one hand, one eye or one leg? At the end of the day when it boils down to what matters we are all superficial at one level or the other, why buy designer clothes instead of normal ones, why drive a Mercedes instead of a Honda, it's all image it's all superficial, we all act the part one way or the other and  we are all influenced by the superficial, people who talk of being real have no idea of what real is, if you want real, go to Deeper Life Bible Church and look for a real woman, no wig, no extensions, no expensive perfume or designer label clothes, lets see how much of real you can stand,

tai2:

Lol, mugu was my story in the past, now I have the keys to control so I control, all this talk of being real is rubbish, This so-called love , ask yourself if you would stay in love with the person if they had one hand, one eye or one leg? At the end of the day when it boils down to what matters we are all superficial at one level or the other, why buy designer clothes instead of normal ones, why drive a Mercedes instead of a Honda, it's all image it's all superficial, we all act the part one way or the other and we are all influenced by the superficial, people who talk of being real have no idea of what real is, if you want real, go to Deeper Life Bible Church and look for a real woman, no wig, no extensions, no expensive perfume or designer label clothes, lets see how much of real you can stand,

facial appearance has nadda to do with real women jare, when the dust settles na wig or make up go see u thru storms? abeg

This post is so on point, was skeptical about reading it at first, enough sense inside it

tai2:

Lol, mugu was my story in the past, now I have the keys to control so I control, all this talk of being real is rubbish, This so-called love , ask yourself if you would stay in love with the person if they had one hand, one eye or one leg? At the end of the day when it boils down to what matters we are all superficial at one level or the other, why buy designer clothes instead of normal ones, why drive a Mercedes instead of a Honda, it's all image it's all superficial, we all act the part one way or the other and  we are all influenced by the superficial, people who talk of being real have no idea of what real is, if you want real, go to Deeper Life Bible Church and look for a real woman, no wig, no extensions, no expensive perfume or designer label clothes, lets see how much of real you can stand,

lol is that what u call real

ok then