I write this article after contemplating on the suggestions of the renowned Nicolo Machiavelli in his book THE PRINCE. Much as i would not want to make any blanket or left-filled statement, i want to ask nairalanders their opinion on this question.

sometimes, people who have good hearts keep paying the ultimate prices of their fairy tooth. They become responsible for the success or failures of their relationships with others, who may care less about being nice, than about achieving their aims.


once upon a time in my life, i was a very nice person, i wouldn't keep grudges, i ensured peace all the time. i was kind. i was loyal to a fault. i was just the kind of guy who had the feeling that i owed everyone in the world kindness and goodwill. I would share whatever i had with whoever was around me, i wouldn't hold back useful information, i would apologise first whenever anything went wrong.

But then, as life progressed, i started learning the realities of life the bitter way. l started observing that the real world out there almost seeks to punish good people and reward the tough ones. Maybe i am mistaken, but what i got as feedback for kindness most of the time was that people found it far easier to step on my toes and expect no consequence. people wouldn't pay back debts easily because they fear no consequence, so i learned to say no, or demand a collateral however complicated the situation appears. people for whom i crossed oceans in the past to assist, wouldn't even cross a bridge to help me when i needed them, i learned to hold back, and assist only those one-off strangers from whom i expect no gratitude.

The people you teach a particular skill or bring to a particular job, will not relent to turn around to take your clients. i learned to hold back important information too. and keep my friends far away from my clients even if it will be favourable to them if they embarked on a particular project with me.

i realised that human beings respect the ones who seek to make themselves feared rather than loved as Nicolo Machiavelli put it . We see this assertion manifest every time in our day to day interaction with men. Fear, as he described is maintained by dread of consequence, while love is maintained by the show of Obligations, which men are almost never ready to give as long as its not to their own detriment.


when we demonstrate our willingness to remonstrate and shift grounds, we succeed in bringing the lions out of people who aren't necessarily blood thirsty.

Even in relationships, a cheating partner will cheat with reckless abandon if he/she expects as a consequence is simple lamentation and pleading by his/her partner.

In the raising of kids too, the softer and nicer parent stands more chances of being disobeyed than the harsh and aggressive ones.

employees also take those employers for granted , who show so much mercy, and affection. This is the single reason the military retains it seriousness and effectiveness throughout the world.

so i ask nairalanders, which would you rather applied to you in the case that you cannot be both feared and loved at the same time?

Urp

I so much concur with ur write up.Machiavely was a "great thinker".A realist to the core,his postulation and work, has realy influence some of the powerful leaders of the world.Man is a rational being,which tends to calculate the benefit or consequence of his social action.Both maxims are important in dealing with man,both features are vital for a man to act like a lion sometimes and be bravery like a fox,people tends to take advantage nature of ur kind nd mis used it.If u cannot be "love" and "feared",i tink is better to be "feared" alone,cos that wil influence ur social interaction with the person be it;friendship,busines associate,work relationship and so on.

walepackage:
I so much concur with ur write up.Machiavely was a "great thinker".A realist to the core,his postulation and work, has realy influence some of the powerful leaders of the world.Man is a rational being,which tends to calculate the benefit or consequence of his social action.Both maxims are important in dealing with man,both features are vital for a man to act like a lion sometimes and be bravery like a fox,people tends to take advantage nature of ur kind nd mis used it.If u cannot be "love" and "feared",i tink is better to be "feared" alone,cos that wil influence ur social interaction with the person be it;friendship,busines associate,work relationship and so on.

this is correct. nice one

I like to be feared, fear comes with respect.

Rorachy:
I like to be feared, fear comes with respect.

i think so too.

Hi @kokaine I tried reaching you a week ago, but was not successful. If you get this, try reaching me. Thanks.

toyin03:
Hi @kokaine I tried reaching you a week ago, but was not successful. If you get this, try reaching me. Thanks.

in didn't get it please. I'll reach out

Kokaine:
in didn't get it please. I'll reach out

better yet, send me a mail here...

toyin03:
better yet, send me a mail here procyonky@gmail.com �

I sent you a mail already via nairaland.

Kokaine:
I sent you a mail already via nairaland.

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