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Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents - Politics - Nairaland

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Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Blue3k(m): 1:32pm On Aug 20, 2017
By Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani

When news emerged that some of the Chibok schoolgirls, abducted by Boko Haram in 2014, had declined to return home with the batch of 82 freed in May, the world found it difficult to believe.

Not even the release of a Boko Haram video showing some hijab-clad, Kalashnikov-wielding girls saying they were happy in their new lives, was enough to convince people. “They must have been coerced,” some said.

“It must be Stockholm syndrome,” others said. What else could explain why any girl, any woman, would choose to remain with such horrible men?

Yet, some women rescued by the Nigerian military from captivity are willingly returning to Boko Haram’s Sambisa forest hideout in north-eastern Nigeria to be with these same horrible men.

‘Fairytale life’

In January, I met Aisha Yerima, 25, who was kidnapped by Boko Haram more than four years ago. While in captivity, she got married to a commander who showered her with romance, expensive gifts and Arabic love songs.

The fairytale life in the Sambisa forest she described to me was suddenly cut short by the appearance of the Nigerian military in early 2016, at a time her husband had gone off to battle with other commanders.

When I first interviewed Aisha, she had been in government custody for about eight months, and completed a de-radicalisation programme run by psychologist Fatima Akilu, the executive director of the Neem Foundation and founder of the Nigerian government’s de-radicalisation programme.

“I now see that all the things Boko Haram told us were lies,” Aisha said. “Now, when I listen to them on the radio, I laugh.”

The pull of power?

But, in May, less than five months after being released into the care of her family in north-eastern Maiduguri city, she returned to the forest hideout of Boko Haram.

Over the past five years, Dr Akilu has worked with former Boko Haram members – including some commanders, their wives and children – and with hundreds of women who were rescued from captivity.

“How women were treated when in Boko Haram captivity depends on which camp a woman was exposed to. It depends on the commander running the camp,” she said.

“Those who were treated better were the ones who willingly married Boko Haram members or who joined the group voluntarily and that’s not the majority. Most women did not have the same treatment.”

Aisha had boasted to me about the number of slaves she had while in the Sambisa forest, the respect she received from other Boko Haram commanders, and the strong influence she had over her husband. She even accompanied him to battle once.

“These were women who for the most part had never worked, had no power, no voice in the communities, and all of a sudden they were in charge of between 30 to 100 women who were now completely under their control and at their beck and call,” Dr Akilu said.

“It is difficult to know what to replace it with when you return to society because most of the women are returning to societies where they are not going to be able to wield that kind of power.”

Still in shock

Apart from loss of power, other reasons Dr Akilu believes could lead women to willingly return to Boko Haram include stigmatisation from a community which treats them like pariahs because of their association with the militants, and tough economic conditions.

De-radicalisation is just one part of it. Reintegration is also a part of it. Some of them have no livelihood support built around them,” Dr Akilu said.

“The kind of support you have in de-radicalisation programmes does not follow you when you leave. They often come out successful from de-radicalisation programmes but they struggle in the community and it is that struggle that often leads them to go back,” she said
.

Recently, I visited Aisha’s family, who were still in shock at her departure and worried about her wellbeing.

Her mother, Ashe, recalled at least seven former Boko Haram “wives” she knew, all friends of her daughter, who had returned to the Sambisa forest long before her daughter did.

“Each time one of them disappeared, her family came to our house to ask Aisha if she had heard from their daughter,” she said. “That’s how I knew.”

Some of the women kept in touch with Aisha after they returned to Boko Haram. Her younger sister, Bintu, was present during at least two phone calls.

“They told her to come and join them but she refused,” Bintu said. “She told them she didn’t want to go back.”

Life on track?

Unlike some former Boko Haram “wives” I’ve met, who are either struggling to survive harsh economic conditions or dealing with stigma, Aisha’s life seemed to be on track.

She was earning money from buying and selling fabric, regularly attending social events and posting photos of herself all primped up on social media, and had a string of suitors.

“At least five different men wanted to marry her,” her mother said, pointing out that there could be no greater form of acceptance shown to a woman, and presenting this as evidence that her daughter faced no stigma whatsoever from the community.

“One of the men lives in Lagos. She was thinking of marrying him,” she said.

But, everything went awry when Aisha received yet another phone call from the women who had returned to the forest, informing her that her Boko Haram “husband” was now with a woman who had been her rival.

From that day, the vivacious and gregarious Aisha became a recluse.

“She stopped going out or talking or eating,” Bintu said. “She was always sad.”

Two weeks later, she left home and did not return. Some of her clothes were missing. Her phones were switched off. She took the two-year-old son fathered by the commander in the Sambisa forest, but left the older one she had with the husband she divorced before her abduction.

“De-radicalisation is complicated by the fact that we have an active, ongoing insurgency. In cases where a group has reached settlement with the government and laid down their arms, it is easier,” Dr Akilu said. “But, when you have fathers, husbands, sons still in the movement, they want to be reunited, especially women.”

Asta, another former Boko Haram “wife”, told me that she has heard of the many women returning to the group, but has no plans to do so herself.

However, the 19-year-old described how terribly she misses her husband, and how keen she is to hear from him and to be reunited with him.

She insisted that she would not return to the forest, not even if he were to ask her.

“I will tell him to come and stay here with us and live a normal life,” she said.

But as with Aisha, the desire to be with the man she yearns for may turn out to be more compelling for Asta than the aversion to a group responsible for the deaths of thousands of people in north-east Nigeria, and for the displacement of millions who are struggling to survive in refugee camps.

Source: BBC

Link: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/08/heartbroken-parents-rescued-daughter-returned-boko-haram-husband/

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Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Blue3k(m): 1:34pm On Aug 20, 2017
This story crazy but insighful. I do believe she may have Stockholm but I won't excuse her actions. Women like her are traitors to Nigeria and should be treated as such. Aisha lusted for power and domination then willingly joined the enemy. Her slaves were more precious than her first son.

She took the two-year-old son fathered by the commander in the Sambisa forest, but left the older one she had with the husband she divorced before her abduction.
Love is not necessary, Power is the only true necessity!
Madara Uchiha

53 Likes 1 Share

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by uzoormah(m): 1:35pm On Aug 20, 2017
This one don pass be careful

15 Likes

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by DabLord: 1:36pm On Aug 20, 2017
May GOD help her

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Dycaptain(m): 1:43pm On Aug 20, 2017
They should already declare some of the women as bokoharam members already

43 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Tolexander: 1:51pm On Aug 20, 2017
Some of these girls may have been hypnotized by the boko haram members with their prick!

54 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by midashenry(m): 1:56pm On Aug 20, 2017
lipsrsealed
Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Nobody: 1:58pm On Aug 20, 2017
When they cannot bring back the girls they claimed were kidnapped, they cooked up this sh!t for the gullibles.

Who would run back to terrorists or kidnappers after gaining their freedom ?

Note: once a lie has been told, more lies will be needed to cover up the existing ones.

86 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by ALOWONLE419(m): 1:58pm On Aug 20, 2017
SUBHNALLAH

6 Likes

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Diegostan(m): 1:59pm On Aug 20, 2017
Hmm, the terrorist must have a terrorising wink grin
Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by oduastates: 2:01pm On Aug 20, 2017
Let say the fact.
The type of Islam being practiced in the north is the wrong type, primitive and backward.
Moroccans,Algerians,Some Lebanese, Syrians,Tunisian are Muslims as well. But those countries are very liberal even though they have their own nutcases.
Even Syria before the civil war,and Iraq before the gulf war were very liberal.
Northern Nigeria has its head so deep into Saudi Arabia ass that it will take a complete miracle to change orientation.
Boko-haram did not start because of economic issues or , it started because of the primitive type of Islam that is being imported from and exported by Saudi Arabia.
That form of Islam is incompatible with modernity, local culture and history It seeks to destroy what is.

80 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Blue3k(m): 2:03pm On Aug 20, 2017
wizzyrich:
When they cannot bring back the girls they claimed were kidnapped, they cooked up this sh!t for the gullibles.

Who would run back to terrorists or kidnappers after gaining their freedom ?

Note: once a lie has been told, more lies will be needed to cover up the existing ones.


Yes the BBC is lying great conspiracy theory. Try reading the article they already explained the psychology behind their actions.

Aisha had boasted to me about the number of slaves she had while in the Sambisa forest, the respect she received from other Boko Haram commanders, and the strong influence she had over her husband. 

15 Likes

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Blue3k(m): 5:15pm On Aug 20, 2017
Don't you think this womans actions are wild. She was bragging about being slave master and abandoned her first son to join Boko Haram.

I think they need to make it a law any person who willingly runs back to terrorist is an enemy of the state. This will purge them of the love sick fantasies or power drunkness. Such treason would obviously carry life or death sentence.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by initiate: 5:21pm On Aug 20, 2017
Culled form BBC

I still wonder why foreign press is even more effective here than local ones.

where is guardian? where is channels? is it just hype?

12 Likes

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by ngeneukwuewuGOAT: 5:34pm On Aug 20, 2017
The government have tried rescuing her but since the preek of her boko haram husband is calling her, they should let her go. But she must be reminded that should in case of any encounter or fiasco between govt forces vs boko haram in the battle field, she will be seen as a boko member not a chibok girl.


Farewell lost soul. May it never be well with northerners who formed boko haram. May they die by boko harm bomb or bullets. Amen

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Paperwhite(m): 5:46pm On Aug 20, 2017
wizzyrich:
When they cannot bring back the girls they claimed were kidnapped, they cooked up this sh!t for the gullibles.

Who would run back to terrorists or kidnappers after gaining their freedom ?

Note: once a lie has been told, more lies will be needed to cover up the existing ones.

You just hit it bro.

5 Likes

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Paperwhite(m): 5:47pm On Aug 20, 2017
ngeneukwuewuGOAT:
The government have tried rescuing her but since the preek of her boko haram husband is calling her, they should let her go. But she must be reminded that should in case of any encounter or fiasco between govt forces vs boko haram in the battle field, she will be seen as a boko member not a chibok girl.


Farewell lost soul. May it never be well with northerners who formed boko haram. May they die by boko harm bomb or bullets. Amen
Amen a billion nna.

6 Likes

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by TheFreeOne: 5:54pm On Aug 20, 2017
Two weeks later, she left home and did not return. Some of her clothes were missing. Her phones were switched off. She took the two-year-old son fathered by the commander in the Sambisa forest, but left the older one she had with the husband she divorced before her abduction.

So she's been married and divorced even as secondary school student before their abduction?

Northern leaders are the problems of the north.

36 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by KendrickAyomide: 8:28pm On Aug 20, 2017
...
Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Sleyanya1(m): 8:28pm On Aug 20, 2017
Lol....She missed them.
Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by chizzy161(f): 8:29pm On Aug 20, 2017
Chei! Touch and follow at work ooo

1 Like

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Xcelinteriors(f): 8:29pm On Aug 20, 2017
Check my signature for beautiful and affordable window blinds
Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by abbaapple: 8:30pm On Aug 20, 2017
D BH man must hav formtd d ugly grl brain wit his Kondo! undecided
Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Amah70: 8:30pm On Aug 20, 2017
Rescue? She was not rescued in the first place. She was put forward by faceless people to extort money from Nigeria's government.

6 Likes

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by marooh: 8:30pm On Aug 20, 2017
Abeg which season is this ?
Because I know everything about chibok is a written scripts at nollywood grin

8 Likes

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by enemyofprogress: 8:31pm On Aug 20, 2017
That's what happens when prick sweet a girl beyond limit,the prick touch am for throat grin grin

1 Like

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Nobody: 8:32pm On Aug 20, 2017
Stockholm syndrome
Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by Chinagurum1995(m): 8:32pm On Aug 20, 2017
Ha Boko Haram is dead. Let dey Boko Haram delete. And thunder will fired Boko Haram. Ode old bobo. angry sad embarassed lipsrsealed cry

Re: Our Rescued Daughter Returned To Her Boko Haram Husband - Heartbroken Parents by biggestmanhood(m): 8:32pm On Aug 20, 2017
conji na bascard

2 Likes 1 Share

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