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Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Nobody: 4:16pm On Sep 05, 2017
Why marry. U can get all d benefits being single na

3 Likes

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Nobody: 4:17pm On Sep 05, 2017
Marriage is overrated.

2 Likes

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by wildchild02: 4:24pm On Sep 05, 2017
Love is a beautiful thing

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Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by creamylicious(f): 4:41pm On Sep 05, 2017
collinsebuka:
1 thing I can never do is marry a girl that isn't intelligent.


You should be engaging and know how to talk about global issues and politics.

I come from a family where everyone is smart/overachievers and constantly talk about politics, business and global events Now how will my girl fare if she isn't knowledgeable, will she just keep mute in a family gathering.

I've met nice and caring girls but they didn't know how to talk, weren't even engaging and couldn't talk about world affairs or give opinions about business.

imagine having a wife that doesn't have any idea about anything or can't help you with ideas to grow your business. it's not compulsory for you to have all the degrees in the world but at least you be knowledgeable and smart
please how can a lady be knowledgeable Where does she get this knowledge from I agree with u absolutely cos chatting wt bae can be boring at times
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by josite: 4:44pm On Sep 05, 2017
marriage will continue to be the waterloo of many who goes into it without first convincing themselves that they are marrying a human being.humans are faulty creatures and if you are not resolved that the bond between you and your spouse transcends even the bond between brother and sister,you will always have a sad tale to tell.
.
what you sister or brother will do and yet still remains your sibbling,you must be ready to accomodate your spouse if they do same.

sexing another person outside the marriage is the usual death knell of most marriage and it is something that keeps haappening.

no intending couple wants to talk about the aftermath of infidelity & if there is anything all humans are prone to do,it is cheating.women cheat and men cheat.

when the spouse is not to be divorced in the aftermath of cheating ,then one can really says he or she has gotten an uncommon deal.

The tendency to divorce a spouse on the ground of cheating these days ,if not checked,will see many go down in life as a victim of marriage.

when kids are involved ,spouses on both sides must not allow an extra Bleep to ruin lives.for a spouse who will not stop extra Bleep,we must put in place protective and safety mechnisms and we must prevail on them to play safe by all means.

the advent of internet simply the infidelity rate ,the cheating rate has gone up astronomically.some now can be fucking ur spouse without entering your house and your hard earned money now kept with your spouse can just on the heat of the moment be electronically transfered to an internet lover while you sweat in the heavy lagos traffic.

i advise ,in one's interest to know you spouse.a lady who excitedly described herself as a playgirl and was avoided on that ground by MAN A was married by MAN B who obviously never got to know that he married a self confessed player and tru to type ,ten years after marriage with kids,the player wife continues to play.now do i blame her?.i will rather blame the man who marry a player not knowing she is a player.know whom you are marrying and accept what you are seeing and you are hearing before you say yes.

we all cheat.sometimes,later,often,rarely,but we all do.will you lose your life because of a cheat?.wish couples can preagreed when to walk away from the marriage.for me that will be when whatever you are doing can lead to loss of lives.

2 Likes

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 4:53pm On Sep 05, 2017
creamylicious:
please how can a lady be knowledgeable Where does she get this knowledge from I agree with u absolutely cos chatting wt bae can be boring at times
Read extensively; never cease doing so. Listen and watch educative TV programmes and news. Always endeavour to know the meaning of strange words you encounter in the process. Lastly, ask God for wisdom.

1 Like

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Naijaaccountwiz: 5:00pm On Sep 05, 2017
Kayceenaz:
Almost every last day of the week, church bells ring to initiate men and women that have presumably resolved to be life partners into the circle of husbands and wives. Mosques also have a fair share of requests that entail tieing the knots. The anticipation of getting married sprinkles ineffable joy, let's suppose that, in the would-be couple and in-laws. Language of preparation then gets spoken by those around in view of making that day remarkable. Attached to this ambience of excitement is the notion of happily ever after (HEA) which is gradually injected into and unconsciously absorbed by the groom and bride. These fairy tale ribbons that adorn the entire event somewhat opens the gate for complacency to stroll in. Although the couple may be quick to refute it, a misconception of marriage thus surfaces and mental preparedness for the life-long task ahead is substituted with getting overly relaxed. This piece is opposed to that disposition and argues for an alternative consideration. Stay with me.

A critical look at the institution of marriage would necessitate the inference that it is a good thing, in the sense that it meets intimately man's social need and lends a hand to nature in the preservation of the human species. According to Christian and Islamic religious accounts, God sanctioned this arrangement hence its sacrosanctity. Thus, the seriousness of marriage calls for a commensurate attitude in the process of delving into it. Marriage is no jamboree with little need for deep reflection! It is a union of purposes and destinies, whether predetermined or determined, of a man and woman who very likely may have a subtle disparity in their personalities. The quality of future of anyone involved hinges on it. This is a forewarning to be extremely careful in that choice if you're still in the "partner market" and become more thorough in your union if already taken. Yes, you need to be, at least for your sake.

It is not rare to hear bachelors and spinsters longingly say, "I can't wait to get married." Such declaration often comes on the heels of spotting that beautiful weeding gown, well made-up face, neatly tailored suit, gorgeous-looking groom's men and bride's maids, elaborately decorated reception hall, very important personalities present as witnesses, skillfully baked cake, and what have you. Seeing such grandeur paints the picture of marriage as happily ever after. Reality says it is not. It is a journey which features various kinds of tests, setbacks, misunderstanding, being sufferable and tolerance, patience, perseverance, unconditional love, and full collaboration. Even when the money gap is filled, marriage remains a demanding task which requires that wise steps be taken in undertaking it. Millionaires and billionaires are not immune. Nonetheless, expect the best from marriage but never regard it as a fairy tale where riding into the sunset is always commonplace. Being poised to handle these realities and not get carried away by those ceremonial traditions can make your union the next success story.

Finally, the potentials in any marriage can be maximized once the appropriate perspective about it is adopted. Irrespective of how common it is treated in the present, it is one of the most serious institutions on planet earth. The misinterpretation of what marriage involves can precipitate the evapouration of personal and marital dreams, and mar one's life for life. With innumerable factual stories about the downturn marriages are taking and have taken, this is a wake-up call to transcend the flashy projections to our senses and replace them with a realistic alternative perspective.

Kaycee Naze
(Rational Pen)
Apt saying, please permission to share?

1 Like

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 5:00pm On Sep 05, 2017
jobaltol:
You have just stated the alternative perspective. What about the pros and cons of that school of thought. I hope you will do justice to it in the next article...thanks
Your reminder is much appreciated. I will consider that.
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by creamylicious(f): 5:00pm On Sep 05, 2017
Kayceenaz:

Read extensively; never cease doing so. Listen and watch educative TV programmes and news. Always endeavour to know the meaning of strange words you encounter in the process. Lastly, ask God for wisdom.
u people re wicked fa...... Intimidating ladies in ur family. Some guys too are all about sex even when u try to start up discussions they find a way to bring sex into it.

1 Like

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 5:01pm On Sep 05, 2017
Naijaaccountwiz:

Apt saying, please permission to share?
You have my permission. Go on and spread the fact.
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by jaszplus12(m): 5:03pm On Sep 05, 2017
vizkiz:
Marriage is one scary ass thing. lipsrsealed

Lord help me so I'll marry the bone of my bone.
yea...but you must work for it!! earn it!!! then continue to work on it!!!!!

1 Like

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 5:06pm On Sep 05, 2017
miarhpe:
Spot on @Op.

I sometimes ask if people know the gravity of the union? 'My mates are marrying, my mates are marrying' shouldn't be a reason to marry.

I saw the series 'Billions' and I knew that for what ever reason marrying a smart woman is an absolute necessity. where conversations are not centered on 'have you eaten? ' 'where are you now?'

Marriage is like managing a football team. You know the kind of formation that would guarantee you results, and so you recruit players specific for that kind of play. Recruit the wrong players and you will never smell some level of glory like a coach in north London.

I didn't mention names o!
I completely agree with you. It indeed requires maximum reflection,planning, and a workable strategy.

1 Like

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 5:14pm On Sep 05, 2017
collinsebuka:
1 thing I can never do is marry a girl that isn't intelligent.


You should be engaging and know how to talk about global issues and politics.

I come from a family where everyone is smart/overachievers and constantly talk about politics, business and global events Now how will my girl fare if she isn't knowledgeable, will she just keep mute in a family gathering.

I've met nice and caring girls but they didn't know how to talk, weren't even engaging and couldn't talk about world affairs or give opinions about business.

imagine having a wife that doesn't have any idea about anything or can't help you with ideas to grow your business. it's not compulsory for you to have all the degrees in the world but at least you be knowledgeable and smart
I concur. It is time for eligible bachelors to prioritize rightly in selecting their spouses. A reasonable or high level of intelligence is key. Ladies, please step up.

1 Like

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 5:18pm On Sep 05, 2017
petkoffdrake2:
I can't read all that cos of marriage
Why not try? It may just be that nugget you need to make that right life-changing decision in the present or future. It is always too soon to quit.
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by dangotesmummy: 5:31pm On Sep 05, 2017
miarhpe:
Spot on @Op.

I sometimes ask if people know the gravity of the union? 'My mates are marrying, my mates are marrying' shouldn't be a reason to marry.

I saw the series 'Billions' and I knew that for what ever reason marrying a smart woman is an absolute necessity. where conversations are not centered on 'have you eaten? ' 'where are you now?'

Marriage is like managing a football team. You know the kind of formation that would guarantee you results, and so you recruit players specific for that kind of play. Recruit the wrong players and you will never smell some level of glory like a coach in north London.

I didn't mention names o!
many actually plan better for the dream wedding or a fairy tale wedding than the actual marriage.
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 5:31pm On Sep 05, 2017
1stCitizen:
Marriage is overrated.
Marriage seems to be overrated because of the misconception that it is fraught with. But in fact, marriage is a very important and relevant institution. It goes beyond copulation and having a spouse just for the sake of it. Marriage is a union of not just two persons but of their purposes and destinies; a unanimous resolve to explore life in its entirety together. My brother, that's a serious matter deserving of a high rating.

2 Likes

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 5:35pm On Sep 05, 2017
dangotesmummy:
many actually plan better for the dream wedding or a fairy tale wedding than the actual marriage.
That is part of the beginning of a failed marriage. Placing the secondary ahead of the primary.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 5:39pm On Sep 05, 2017
Sniper12:
Why marry. U can get all d benefits being single na
Since you admit there are "benefits" to enjoy, why not formalize it? Not doing so is a pointer to a man that is helplessly indecisive.
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Nobody: 5:45pm On Sep 05, 2017
Kayceenaz:

Marriage seems to be overrated because of the misconception that it is fraught with. But in fact, marriage is a very important and relevant institution. It goes beyond copulation and having a spouse just for the sake of it. Marriage is a union of not just two persons but of their purposes and destinies; a unanimous resolve to explore life in its entirety together. My brother, that's a serious matter deserving of a high rating.

A man does not need another to explore life in its entirety. Times have changed. In this age it is better to stay unmarried.
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 5:49pm On Sep 05, 2017
creamylicious:
u people re wicked fa...... Intimidating ladies in ur family. Some guys too are all about sex even when u try to start up discussions they find a way to bring sex into it.

It is your duty to resist such tendencies. Do not hesitate to end such discussions. If you don't, you may just become another lady in his list of conquests. Prove to the man that your value as a woman goes beyond the confines of the bedroom; that you are purposeful, goal-oriented, intelligent, spiritual, right-minded, and foresighted. If you truly desire to change that anomaly, you will find a way. You can do it.
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 5:51pm On Sep 05, 2017
1stCitizen:


A man does not need another to explore life in its entirety. Times have changed. In this age it is better to stay unmarried.
That you choose to stay unmarried does not depreciate the overall and priceless value of marriage.
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Langbasa: 5:58pm On Sep 05, 2017
fatymore:
That's why If I want to settle down.. My husband must have the same taste and preferences as I... Our Sex life must be on the same level.. My food preferences.. My like for Politics.. My love for Parties... Been indoor..and lastly We must have the same level of love for God.... I can't be praying my ass down for a Man.. Who will be outside gbenshing another lady
Kukuma go buy cage Naa.........by the way it's not by force to marry.

2 Likes

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by fatymore(f): 6:05pm On Sep 05, 2017
Langbasa:
Kukuma go buy cage Naa.........by the fway it's not by force to marry.
marry me and let me cage you

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by tomdon(m): 6:09pm On Sep 05, 2017
Kayceenaz:
Almost every last day of the week, church bells ring to initiate men and women that have presumably resolved to be life partners into the circle of husbands and wives. Mosques also have a fair share of requests that entail tieing the knots. The anticipation of getting married sprinkles ineffable joy, let's suppose that, in the would-be couple and in-laws. Language of preparation then gets spoken by those around in view of making that day remarkable. Attached to this ambience of excitement is the notion of happily ever after (HEA) which is gradually injected into and unconsciously absorbed by the groom and bride. These fairy tale ribbons that adorn the entire event somewhat opens the gate for complacency to stroll in. Although the couple may be quick to refute it, a misconception of marriage thus surfaces and mental preparedness for the life-long task ahead is substituted with getting overly relaxed. This piece is opposed to that disposition and argues for an alternative consideration. Stay with me.

A critical look at the institution of marriage would necessitate the inference that it is a good thing, in the sense that it meets intimately man's social need and lends a hand to nature in the preservation of the human species. According to Christian and Islamic religious accounts, God sanctioned this arrangement hence its sacrosanctity. Thus, the seriousness of marriage calls for a commensurate attitude in the process of delving into it. Marriage is no jamboree with little need for deep reflection! It is a union of purposes and destinies, whether predetermined or determined, of a man and woman who very likely may have a subtle disparity in their personalities. The quality of future of anyone involved hinges on it. This is a forewarning to be extremely careful in that choice if you're still in the "partner market" and become more thorough in your union if already taken. Yes, you need to be, at least for your sake.

It is not rare to hear bachelors and spinsters longingly say, "I can't wait to get married." Such declaration often comes on the heels of spotting that beautiful weeding gown, well made-up face, neatly tailored suit, gorgeous-looking groom's men and bride's maids, elaborately decorated reception hall, very important personalities present as witnesses, skillfully baked cake, and what have you. Seeing such grandeur paints the picture of marriage as happily ever after. Reality says it is not. It is a journey which features various kinds of tests, setbacks, misunderstanding, being sufferable and tolerance, patience, perseverance, unconditional love, and full collaboration. Even when the money gap is filled, marriage remains a demanding task which requires that wise steps be taken in undertaking it. Millionaires and billionaires are not immune. Nonetheless, expect the best from marriage but never regard it as a fairy tale where riding into the sunset is always commonplace. Being poised to handle these realities and not get carried away by those ceremonial traditions can make your union the next success story.

Finally, the potentials in any marriage can be maximized once the appropriate perspective about it is adopted. Irrespective of how common it is treated in the present, it is one of the most serious institutions on planet earth. The misinterpretation of what marriage involves can precipitate the evapouration of personal and marital dreams, and mar one's life for life. With innumerable factual stories about the downturn marriages are taking and have taken, this is a wake-up call to transcend the flashy projections to our senses and replace them with a realistic alternative perspective.

Kaycee Naze
(Rational Pen)


Misconceived write up
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by tomdon(m): 6:11pm On Sep 05, 2017
fatymore:
That's why If I want to settle down.. My husband must have the same taste and preferences as I... Our Sex life must be on the same level.. My food preferences.. My like for Politics.. My love for Parties... Been indoor..and lastly We must have the same level of love for God.... I can't be praying my ass down for a Man.. Who will be outside gbenshing another lady


Must must must
Find the man ist sef or kukuma create him

Mcheew

2 Likes

Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by fatymore(f): 6:15pm On Sep 05, 2017
tomdon:



Must must must
Find the man ist sef or kukuma create him

Mcheew

haba don't vex... I wasn't talking to you now.... Is nor for you... Joor... Emabinu
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by Kayceenaz(m): 6:26pm On Sep 05, 2017
happney65:
The big deal in getting married to me is having unprotected sex every now and then when both parties are in need of it..and maybe having someone to gist with most times..Apart from that,it is simply an over-rated institution nothing else..
I'm sorry to say your understanding of marriage is inadequate. Summarizing marriage in copulation and having a mere "gist" partner underlines that. What happens when doing all these things you have outlined with your partner gets uninteresting? Would it be okay to opt for divorce once all the fun varnishes? What fundamentally sustains the union? Ruminating on these questions would reveal that marriage supersedes all you have enumerated.

Marriage is a fusion of two different lives in order to make it one. This implies a root-like glue in form of a harmonious understanding of the direction their lives should and would take. It is that vision keeps both partners on board when the storms come. It is that vision which generates unconditional love that enables them to cling to each other. With these in mind, is it reasonable to assert that what affects the course and touches the core of one's life is overrated? Of course not. The problem is that the more a misinterpretation of marriage spreads, the more it is wrongly adjudged as "overrated."
Re: Marriage And The Happily Ever After Syndrome: An Alternative Perspective by miarhpe: 6:29pm On Sep 05, 2017
dangotesmummy:
many actually plan better for the dream wedding or a fairy tale wedding than the actual marriage.

I wish the world had more of your specie. The five percent that showcase what they can contribute meaningfully to the society as against padded hips and pouted lips.

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