confusedl:

well you are not alone in this.

Personally I do feel same and I have not made love with my husband for more than a year now, though this is not something I planned initially when I wanted to marry him but circumstances surrounding the relationship led to this.
He cheated, lied and he kept doing it, does not contribute to the marriage in any way, does not really have interest in the marriage anymore. He was not like that when we got married, got some advice from his mum, that I was too fertile, like he said he is scared of getting me pregnant, but he enjoys himself outside.

I must say that the bond intimacy creates in marriage cannot be quantified and once there is not intimacy in marriage there is no marriage.

I have two kids in a marriage of 3 years Feb this year, and in this three years we have only had intimacy like 5 times and God so did it that I was able to get pregnant and have two kids, now I have resigned to fate, cos he initially started it, refused to touch me for more than 8 months, so I zeroed my mind towards intimacy, though once in a while he ask for it these days like ones in three month, I do not have interest anymore and I just tell him I am not interested.

He cannot blame me for this, when he started I reported to my people and his people but everyone looked at it as if i was just making noice, he is catching his fun wherever, believing I am that decorating item in his house.

My kids are all I care about now, they are my life and everything.

Nigeria is such a place were we have no places for marriage counselling, that would have been of great help but all we rely on when we have such problems is our Pastors and what they preach to us, and most of the time we are unlucky to fall into the hands of those who will deceive us, that is why I rely on prayers for my problems.

I will advice you to read books, trust in God and pray without ceasing, he will see you through but as much as you can if he ask you for intimacy do not deny him, because as you have stated you did not mention anything like he is cheating on you or so, that is why my case is different, he cheated on me to the extent that I do not trust him anymore or believe in him.

confusedl:

well you are not alone in this.

Personally I do feel same and I have not made love with my husband for more than a year now, though this is not something I planned initially when I wanted to marry him but circumstances surrounding the relationship led to this.

He cheated, lied and he kept doing it, does not contribute to the marriage in any way, does not really have interest in the marriage anymore. He was not like that when we got married, got some advice from his mum, that I was too fertile, like he said he is scared of getting me pregnant, but he enjoys himself outside.

I must say that the bond intimacy creates in marriage cannot be quantified and once there is not intimacy in marriage there is no marriage.

I have two kids in a marriage of 3 years Feb this year, and in this three years we have only had intimacy like 5 times and God so did it that I was able to get pregnant and have two kids, now I have resigned to fate, cos he initially started it, refused to touch me for more than 8 months, so I zeroed my mind towards intimacy, though once in a while he ask for it these days like ones in three month, I do not have interest anymore and I just tell him I am not interested.

He cannot blame me for this, when he started I reported to my people and his people but everyone looked at it as if i was just making noice, he is catching his fun wherever, believing I am that decorating item in his house.

My kids are all I care about now, they are my life and everything.

Nigeria is such a place were we have no places for marriage counselling, that would have been of great help but all we rely on when we have such problems is our Pastors and what they preach to us, and most of the time we are unlucky to fall into the hands of those who will deceive us, that is why I rely on prayers for my problems.

I will advice you to read books, trust in God and pray without ceasing, he will see you through but as much as you can if he ask you for intimacy do not deny him, because as you have stated you did not mention anything like he is cheating on you or so, that is why my case is different, he cheated on me to the extent that I do not trust him anymore or believe in him.

@poster I'm assuming you were directing at me.

You are soo vaunted to think this was addressed to you? NO, it is not! Looking at some of your other post, even a DOG will not ask for your opinion on whether it should eat a bone seeing you are so overly-hypocritical, self-righteous pharisical sleaze-bag!

To the orriginal author. first off marriage and intimacy are different subjects completely.

intimacy is a perk in a relationship not a requirement, and i know some half wit is going to quote a 2000 year old piece of paper saying otherwise but from a biological standpoint (speak to a Dr for confirmation)

Look INSANITY IS SHI.TTING on YOU! MAY YOU GET MARRIED TO THAT LOSER WHO WILL INDEED SEE SE.X as a PERK and NOT A REQUIREMENT! SO, this fool thinks she is smarter than the "2000 year old piece of paper", WHICH INSTITUTIONALIZED MARRIAGE? I CAN'T STAND YOUR LEPROUS SOUL! WOE BETIDE YOU SATAN, AGAIN, I REPEAT. . .EVIL BETIDE YOU DAUGHTER OF SATAN!

intimacy is not a requirement for a healthy life. now to feel sexy again that is all on you. feeling sexy comes from within, if you believe yourself to be sexy (though confirmation is helpful) you will feel it. if do not think you are sexy, no matter how many people tell you otherwise you will never feel sexy. if having self esteem issues speak to a licensed counselor (always always always use a licensed counselor or doctor and not those who only claim to be, request to see a copy of their diploma or license, if they refuse move on. any well respected physican would be more then happy to show it to you). now to getting pregnant. no one can tell you when you will ovulate without a though check up since all women are different. you will need to have your hormones mapped, cervical mucus levels checked and temperature taken daily for 2 months min to begin to form a general idea (within 2-3 days). your stress, diet and exercise will influence you month to month

to you. some people think the entire purpose of marriage is to have someone to have intimacy with. "getting married to have intimacy is like buying an airline to eat peanuts". your spouse is you partner, your lifelong companion and friend who will never abandon you as the vows state as long as you cause them no physical of emotional suffering. now intimacy and children are a perk to marriage, if as im sure some religious _____ is going to yell, if they were entitlements or requirements why didnt god allow for ALL people to have the physical ability to bear children ir have intimacy? no answer? then your religious objection is mute.

Pataki:

This is at times part of the reason I dread marriage. It is not just worth it. Was there no sexual compatibility before marriage?

Rubbish.

mama-gee:

You dread marriage?

Pataki:

Why enter into something that will cause you agony, pain and sorrow all your life? Not with the kinda girls that roam the street of marriage seeking these days.

A man does not show love to his wife. . . . . trouble.

A man shows love to his wife. . . . she is not sexually attracted to him. KMT.

Pataki:

This is at times part of the reason I dread marriage. It is not just worth it. Was there no sexual compatibility before marriage?

Rubbish.

mama-gee:

I recommend you go see a psychiatrist as soon as possible. . .
What kind of person detests marriage?
I know of people who choose to be single for the rest of their lives
not detesting it like the way you do. . .

Pataki:

At the expense of not wanting to sound pedantic or irritatingly annoying, I suggest you tape your gob! Or what kind of manner-less and rude goats roam this forum these days? What does seeing a psychiatrist imply?

Succinctly you depict that grammar comprehension is beyond you. Or where did I state I detest marriage? I said I dread marriage. Go and consult your lexicon before you type any response to me henceforth.

Rubbish.

stillwater:

Bullllll!!!! Any body can develop disgust at sleeping with the husband, not a matter of no intimacy before marriage.

~Sauron~:

Develop disgust at sleeping with your own husband?
Thatz a load of tripe. . . . . . .Where's the sexual compatibility?

~Sauron~:

They were following the NO S[i]E[/i]X BEFORE MARRIAGE policy.

mama-gee:

It implies you need help, simple!

Pataki:

hahahaha! Is that your own policy too?
Your mates are busy with their rabbit. Go and play.

mama-goat.

~Sauron~:

Develop disgust at sleeping with your own husband?
Thatz a load of tripe. . . . . . .Where's the sexual compatibility?

Pataki:

hahahaha! Is that your own policy too?

stillwater:

Yes, disgust. If he turns out to be what he's not supposed to be. Sexual compatibility can never cover his flaws.

mama-gee:

I have just realized I have been wasting my time on a sleek
Next!