KreativGenius:




I said this to you earlier,and i'mma repeat it again. A lady came to my domain recently, and i looked at her and i chuckled.

She's been married ten years now. Not asingle day of her been beating or the assualtsother ladies get, guess what, including myself, and at least ten folks, we are felt it was a no-brainer. They both had just 40-45% compatibility. She and her husband are constantly around me so i'm privy to inner details in her relationship to some extent.

Guess what makes the relationship still up-standing till today?

The point you raised in number nine. Forgive, tohave a good marriage, compatibility or notcompatibility, forgiveness ranks higher, and for hearts that holds plenty of it, along side with patience, nothing can rock such a boat, becase it's not built on the pedestal of i can't be wrong, but rather, i'm willing tolet go, look away, turn the side, turn a new leaf, start afresh, press on, continue, challenge, turn the other direction, tweak it a bit, make moderations, in order to achieve an expected objective, which is a successful marriage !


The opposite of such forgiveness is self centerdness, self preservation, self love, self obsession, self ideologies all in the bid to psychologically have the upper hand at such times, whereas in marriage both parties shoul be intertwined and become a single being.


May God give us wisdom, a heart that understands, a mind that takes heed, and a heart that is flooded with the light of the truth. When the heart is flooded with the truth, it swallows up lies, soif seeds of lies germinates in our hearts, its because we have vile in our heart and all the requirements for it to flourish, the battle is half won in our hears. We should read books like Battle field of the mind by JoyceMeyer

Proudgorgeousga:


I used to think like you, until I had my epiphany and there is no going back.

Joy1706:

She shouldn't even bother talking sef. Ignore him and start keeping late nights too. No need for long talk

KreativGenius:



Tushe, Enjoy !

I don't have a lack-mentality my dear. With age,you'll get understanding like i said earlier !

Toks2008:

my next woman will be a calm one who will know what commitment is.

teemy:
lolz. an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves us all tooth less and blind

Joy1706:

But you said he will cheat na. No need waiting. It's best I prepare well in advance. And it's my side guy that will be my intimacy gadget.

Toks2008:


It happened to me and I gave her a second chance but unfortunately I had to terminate the whole thing when I realized she was still unstable...

Why should I leave a lady I have invested time with cos she strayed? but if she is unrepentant and still arrogant then she has no business in my life again.

shaybebaby:

Great. So when men cheat serially, they are unrepentant so have no place in our lives again.

winnar:
But, you told us our men will always have a side dish.., and we have decided to follow that advice.

So if all our men are having side dish.., who is faithful then?

Let me tell you what you dont know.., if you keep preaching all this your "men cheating sermon" You are only sowing seed of distrust in marriages.

Hence, breaking of marriages instead of holding them together.

You come to Nl to type how a woman shd stay put in her marriage even if her cheats on her.

Do you know how it feels to see a man you toiled with, suffered with, gave your world to.., to cheat on you?

To some women who are emotionally weak.., it destroys them forever. some it turns them to a wreack.

I expect you to preach and understand that women are humans too, they have a limit to what they can endure and take too.

If you know what you cant take.., Dont dish it to others, even if she is your wife.

KreativGenius:



Morning Mom. How's the Knight



Satiety and Insatiety is first psychological. That females are designed to be " receivers " and their counterparts "hunters " imbues a condition in both, where the receivers have a contented personality, while the hunter, with more skill can become " ferocious ".


Suffice to say, the receiver many times have now received the hunter's psych, while some hunters have learnt the receiver's pysch, hence the juxtapoxed confused state of how did we get here !


Rather, than speculate about the sea, it takes an actual walk through the corridors to understand the journey and the pathway! And all the lop sided bickering will have answers after we've taken the walk. Till then, all shouts are mere an after-reaction of having a preconceived foresight of the challenges ahead, in a seemingly " displaced " position. So finding cures to problems that haven't happened, or sharpening tools when there's no war is a psych problem. We must treat our minds and hearts and like the scripture connotes, from the heart comes the issues of life, we must treat our own hearts, our sights and leave d bull poo behind !

shaybebaby:

Great. So when men cheat serially, they are unrepentant so have no place in our lives again.

shaybebaby:

Don't see how all the challenges the op says the woman must put up with is scriptural. Except you want to say that men's irresponsible conduct that is observed today is scriptural.

Toks2008:


What I hate is when a man who chooses to cheat does so with impunity...in fact such a guy is insane.

Your wife deserves your respect and that you chose to cheat on her is bad enough but doing it to her face is totally insane...give her the respect and go farrrrrrr farrrrrrr away and ensure you use a protection IF YOU MUST PHILANDER.

This sounds as if I'm supporting infidelity but I'm not..just asking those who have chosen the hell bound path to at least respect their wives.

KreativGenius:



God Bless you, all points agreed with

Just to add that satiety and discontentment are far more psychological than otherwise,these conditions are what forms the basis of cheating. What's the panacea, control ! Scripturally, we call it, a contented heart. Na wetin dey outside dey inside, so people should cultivate their relationships and quit the bickering ! All the noise from all these gender wars is sickening. If only people would get some understanding, understanding makes it easy, because the opposite is when both the husband and wife begin to set up war machinery in their hearts " in preparation against ", the moment a person develops an incase he/she does it mindset, it makes me ponder !

KreativGenius:



I've never cheated, not even once ! Guess what, i know how to run I also veer off path and associations that would make me want to behave in ways i don't want to. I determine my rules and live by them !

I believe cheats are not terrible people. I also believe that some may be undergoing process and will be become better individuals

I'm saying, men should develop what women have naturally by design " contentedness " and find satiety in their own cisterns !

alexis007:
As in eh...I dey wonder if dem dey enter marriage to fight war. Meanwhile, volunteers are needed at Sambisa forest( I dunno if the Army has finally cleaned that place out).

Just imagine contributions to the thread. Even the op is mad sef, sorry to say. There are very few people who are wise these days. Again, na d!ck and toto still dey cause trouble. Make we just dey mumu shaaa. Na when dead people(no longer old people) go dey run this country na when our eyes go clear, if e go gree clear sef. It would be so funny seeing that policies ment to guide living people were actually formulated and enacted by dead men. Lolz

shaybebaby:

Well if that's what you are saying, you should be in agreement with the op.

What OP is doing is passing on the responsibility of the failings of men on to women. That's a nono. If you must Fvck up, own it.

Don't be telling me how to deal with what is your failing. It's yours and up to you to fix it.

Daeylar:


LMAO

That's what I'm always trying to avoid by ignoring toks posts, the misogynistic trash he writes in most of his topics or posts is capable of pissing me off, so to just preserve my sanity, I have to keep it pushing.

Cc ibkayee Yellowewest

pocohantas:


LOL!
No time. You can't kill yourself.
Thank God for self control!

KreativGenius:



My lady, i don't get involved in gender wars. I'm not vying for blaming marital ish on men.

I simply supported the points raised, and didn't bother to check who the oP is to determine if i'll agree with him based on personality. Allow me express the points as i see them with due respect :



1. Rationalize, don't over speculate about a partner

2. Marriage is a game of risks. So level headed expectations

3. Be Humble

4. Hold plenty of forgiveness for the journey


Against these points, i see no reason to fight the oP

shaybebaby:

It becomes a gender war when it is one sided. There is no balance here. Afterall there are two people (at the minimum in every relationship) so why proscribe for just one?

KreativGenius:



You know me !

I don't support evil. You didn't read my comments ma, i said men should learn " contentedness ". For me as a Christian, i don't support cheating irrespective of excuse. Will i hit the perfect mark, i don't know! But i advocate no-cheating in marriages, remember, God will judge the marriage bed !, so it's not a woman this or that, but individuals should commit to make the best out of their relationships

Toks2008:


What I hate is when a man who chooses to cheat does so with impunity...in fact such a guy is insane.

Your wife deserves your respect and that you chose to cheat on her is bad enough but doing it to her face is totally insane...give her the respect and go farrrrrrr farrrrrrr away and ensure you use a protection IF YOU MUST PHILANDER.

This sounds as if I'm supporting infidelity but I'm not..just asking those who have chosen the hell bound path to at least respect their wives.

shaybebaby:

In that case, you shouldn't see anything worthy of supporting in op's post. Because it is biased.

Anyone with a balanced view will call him out and you failed do that.

KreativGenius:



I'm a business man, going into transactions with less expectations makes me happy if i see failure in my path, i easily work my way around knots and keep pressing on. My lady, if the oP tells ladies go into marriage with plenty of forgiveness, should i be hard on him for such statement?If the oP is wrong for saying learn to forgive and work and fight for your marriage, should he not be praised for such a comment? How about Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski saga? If it's many of the ladies of today, it's straight for divorce, but guess what it's close to how many years, i've lost count, they're both waxing stronger.We all need to fight for our loves and not be quick to bail on the slightest of issues. Simple ! It goes both ways, not for the males or the females, i stand for the truth, and when i read any piece, i look out for what reflects the truth, which i did with this post.

Care to explain where you feel i'm wrong? Perhaps you could win me won more time like you have in previous times

KreativGenius:



Seeing how ladies arm themselves for marriage is something ! Guys too self get their own for body !

I refuse to allow anything contaminate my cognitive pathways !

I'm the master of my mind, and will control my actions !

Until We master our actions, we are slaves, many contributions shows people are slaves to rules, principles and dogmas !

But Guess what, where the Spirit of the Lord is, there's Liberty !

shaybebaby:

Nope, not going to.

If a woman has to put up with all of that, she might as well be by herself, raise her kids and get her sexual kicks as she deems fit.

Afterall, all the op's points makes the man redundant. Makes men irrelevant because you see, she is expected to do everything anyways, and if she can, pray tell, what exactly is the man needed for again?

shaybebaby:

Nope, not going to.

If a woman has to put up with all of that, she might as well be by herself, raise her kids and get her sexual kicks as she deems fit.

Afterall, all the op's points makes the man redundant. Makes men irrelevant because you see, she is expected to do everything anyways, and if she can, pray tell, what exactly is the man needed for again?

alexis007:
What you read here can make you afraid. That's normal. But the truth is that in reality it is a different ball game. Ever heard that people can't do quarter in real life what they boast of online?

I for one person- I have set standards and rules for my life. And so far so good, the principles have moulded me into an ebullient and savvy individual who is living a decent life. Wetin remain na money and power, and I'd make waves as tremendous as Hitler's and Putin's.

Concerning marriage, I'm looking forward to the best "happily ever after" with someone who knows her salt too. Of course I can't be this seasoned and then yoke myself with an empty-brained mediocre. God is surely going to be kind enough to attract my kind to me. So I no dey fear at all

KreativGenius:





Take it easy dearie.

A marriage won't work without a good shepherd, husband, lover and father !

Please, don't misunderstand me !

I'm all the way for the Nigerian woman, and i've told you this countless times. I also buttressed this point in this thread. My position on the subject is thus : People should fight for their love, men and women alike, people should respect their marital vows men and women alike, people should work to build successful marriages, men and women alike, people should forgive alot if they want healthy marriages, men and women alike.



I believe these points are solid !


So why are you against my position?