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Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? - Romance - Nairaland

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Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by Lynakenz: 3:24pm On Mar 03, 2010
Am an ibo girl from imo state,i have been dating this yoruba guy 4 a yr nw and we're in love,he just proposed marriage and i accepted,i have met his family and they welcomed me,he has even acceptd 2 convert 2my church, Catholic. My family has totaly rejected him with reasons such as, Tribe,language and culture barrier, tendency of polygamy and other factors that could come in d marriage,pls i need ur sincere advise. At the moment i have another suitor from my state. Am confused.
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by THEAMAKA(f): 3:26pm On Mar 03, 2010
it's igbo
but anyway. . .
too late, you already said "yes" to the proposal and went the whole 9 yards.
so you didnt even seek your parents approval before you accepted and did the whole thing? or you did, but you didn't care too much about their approval in the first place and now you're having seconds thoughts?  undecided
na wa for you oooo.
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by kobikwelu(m): 3:35pm On Mar 03, 2010
pity

had a personal experience.

my sis had a yoruba guy that was proposing to her.

but her parents flately disagreed in terms of that peeps from his extraction in nigeria (yorubas) are prone polygammy, fetish and irresponsible (no pun intended to the yoruba's-its just a general consensus amongst the igbos).
so the whole arrangement went kaput.

the truth is that marriage aint about boyfriend and girlfriend. its a long and tedious journey that requires hardwork.

thats y most parents dont suscribe to that "i love him dearly and he loves me too and a result of that our cultural differences wont be an issue".

cos they know that in due tym, IT WILL BE AN ISSUE.

probably 15% of inter-cultural marriages survive the test of time
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by Hotchyk(f): 3:48pm On Mar 03, 2010
I smell bias in the posts of girls who I used to think were graduates. Anyway,Ibo girls will always be Ibo.
@poster, you are saying this just because you have another option.One word: follow your heart.
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by afrobaby(f): 4:27pm On Mar 03, 2010
Really, when it comes to the issue of marriage, I get a little scared, cos its an institution that u can never pass out from, it's a journey that haas no end, hence , why would one want to risk such a journey
I am tribalistic when it comes to marriage, and my parents also do not like one getting married to someone from another tribe, but they will never stop u, they will only give their advice, but me personally, I dont think I can marry someone from another tribe
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by prixxy(f): 4:28pm On Mar 03, 2010
post like this really upsets me, we cry of the unjust way the whites have over time terrorized us the blacks through recism while we our self's are racist among ourselves.

Any ways @op you claim to have dated this guy for over 4yrs so only you can decide if he will make a good husband, no one can make that decision for you.
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by onstelly(f): 4:40pm On Mar 03, 2010
Gal i understand exactly what u are goin through now but pls don't ever marry dat guy without d consent of u parent rather try havin a heart 2 heart talk with them make them realised that u are really in love with this guy. Am sure after that things will get better. Goodluck
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by blakdove: 4:52pm On Mar 03, 2010
:-x :-x :-x
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by Devonian(m): 4:57pm On Mar 03, 2010
Lynakenz:

Am an ibo girl from imo state,i have been dating this yoruba guy 4 a yr nw and we're in love,he just proposed marriage and i accepted,i have met his family and they welcomed me,he has even acceptd 2 convert 2my church,  Catholic. My family has totaly rejected him with reasons such as,  Tribe,language and culture barrier, tendency of polygamy and other factors that could come in d marriage,pls i need your sincere advise. At the moment i have another suitor from my state. Am confused.

Whilst it might be difficult for your parents to accept that you're marrying a man from another culture, you need to educate them and ask them to wake up to reality. This is 21st Century: the age of globalisation and multiculturalism. As such, you can, on balance, marry any man of your choice irrespective of his ethnicity, nationality and skin colour.
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by Devonian(m): 4:58pm On Mar 03, 2010
kobikwelu:

pity had a personal experience. my sis had a yoruba  guy that was proposing to her. but her parents flately disagreed in terms of that peeps from his extraction in nigeria (yorubas)

So your sister's parents aren't your parents? Interesting!

kobikwelu link=topic=407314.msg5620538#msg5620538 date=1267626931:

(yorubas) are  prone polygammy (sic)

Bad English which utterly betrays your alleged UofT connection.


[quote author=kobikwelu link=topic=407314.msg5620538#msg5620538 date=1267626931]
pity,, (yorubas) are  prone polygammy, fetish and irresponsible.

On Yoruba being prone to polygamy
[/quote]

Please be informed that from pre-historic times, Polygamy was commonly practised among the Igbo people of Nigeria. It had both an important practical function in cementing alliances in many villages and economic functions of increasing a man’s available labour. It was also a social status symbol. Basden (1965:97) noted that this institution is inseparably bound up with the family and the social life of the Igbo, and without exception, touches the lives of every man and woman in the country. In his view, polygamy is favoured and fostered equally by men and women. In some respects the latter are the chief supporters of the system. The ambition of every Igbo man he noted was to become a polygamist, and he adds to the number of his wives as circumstances permit. They are an indication of social standing and a signs of affluence. In any case, they are counted as sound economic and social investment.

kobikwelu:


On being fetish and irresponsible

What goes on in your Okija shrine, Mass of Evil Massacre? (http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=Okija+shrine&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=QIOOS_fNNdaSjAfYzq2sCw&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=5&ved=0CB0QsAQwBA), and what about the Otokoto Saga which never ends, even as late as 2009 (http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/08/19/otokoto-again-in-imo-girl-18-beheaded-for-rituals/) You need to wake up to reality, ploygamy, fetishism and being irresponsible is not the hallmark of any specific ethnicity and nationality. It's identifiable amongst peoples of all nations. IT'S HIGH TIME WE STOPPED THIS TRIBAL STUPIDITY ON NAIRALAND
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by kobikwelu(m): 5:04pm On Mar 03, 2010
mr devonian


how typical,

keep on marking my script (teacher) and forget the issue at hand.

by the way, all ur history lessons count for jack.

CARRY OUT YOUR PERSONAL SURVEY (i doubt ull have time for such a task) ITS A GENERAL PERCEPTION AMONGST THE IGBOS!!!!!

no body said other tribes arent fetish.

but the igbos are particular about the yoruba's that why parents hardly give out their girls to 'em

PS: QUOTE ME WRONG
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by tomidayspring: 5:16pm On Mar 03, 2010
THE AMAKA:

it's igbo
but anyway. . .
too late, you already said "yes" to the proposal and went the whole 9 yards.
so you didnt even seek your parents approval before you accepted and did the whole thing? or you did, but you didn't care too much about their approval in the first place and now you're having seconds thoughts?  undecided
na wa for you oooo.


The girl simply asked a question,if you dont have a solution why cant you keep quiet,must you reply to every thread? Instead of criticizing and adding to her heart aches.

He that hasn't sinned should cast the first stone!
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by yme1(f): 5:27pm On Mar 03, 2010
just be careful
if your parents do not accept him the relationship wont be blissful as you want it to be
but that doesnt mean you should have a second thot abt his proposal
try sit your parents down and let them know they are in the 21st century
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by omega25red(m): 5:36pm On Mar 03, 2010
Nigeria is not moving forward when it comes to unity and tribalisim and racisim amongst ourselves

Poster

why didn't you have the guy go to your parents with you so that when your parents raised their concerns he can at least speak and defend himself. At least have his family go with you so they could show their way of life and how they brought up their child.

well the generation of old is dying out and very soon these types of problems would diminish because more and more people are open to the ways of the world instead of being closed minded and stubborn
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by SisiKill1: 6:19pm On Mar 03, 2010
No pun intended?
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by Nobody: 6:24pm On Mar 03, 2010
Follow your heart.  You will be the one living with which ever guy you choose; not your parents or anyone else for that matter
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by DeepSoul(f): 6:31pm On Mar 03, 2010
Sisi_Kill:

No pun intended?

I was wondering too  grin

@OP
I really do not think tribe shld be an issue. The issue of polygamy amongst Yorubas is simply unfounded. Are we in 1960?

How many young, educated Yorubas in the present generation do you see getting involved in polygamy?
(I'm not Yoruba, neither do I have any Yoruba affiliations bdw)

Your parents cannot and should not use their 1940 standards to decide who you shld and shldnt marry.

For me, tribe is not an issue.
I can marry from anywhere. And if I even have to have any aversions, it against MY tribe (Ijaws).

The tribe of a man does not determine how good a husband he will be oh!
As long as he's a Christian with a good heart and you love him, shikena!

You shld sit them down and explain certain things to them, if you really love him like you claim.
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by Nobody: 7:48pm On Mar 03, 2010
but the igbos are particular about the yoruba's that why parents hardly give out their girls to 'em


since when? Is this a new thing because quite a lot of Igbo women are married to Yoruba men.

I should think its the other way round- Yoruba women rarely marry Igbo men.
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by richard69(m): 8:30pm On Mar 03, 2010
@ Deep Soul,God bless you.
I don't know where this Ibo jerks got this crazy notion from, this was the same thing my ex GF's mom used to sever my romance with CHIAMAGO.
msshhhhhh rubish!
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by adetoru(f): 8:38pm On Mar 03, 2010
I'm yoruba,he's ibo;we've been married for 8 yrs now.Love,in my own opinion,is all that matters.And how come there's another "suitor" in the picture now now! shocked shocked Did you say yes because you love him?
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by Nobody: 8:48pm On Mar 03, 2010
no need for oversensitivity.

facts are facts

I know quite a lot of people from Igbo female Yoruba male marriages.

If the parents are as strict as the poster implied, then how did the marriages come about?

and yes, Yoruba females rarely marry Igbo males- its not that common.

and btw @ adetoro I'm sure you're aware of the activities of a certain mekush*t on this forum. Likewise one aloyemeka who used to claim a male alter ego engaged to a Yoruba fiance. You never responded to any of them but my own post worried you. undecided

Can you explain why it seems some NL supposedly Igbo males claiming they're dating Yoruba women tend to show a very nasty and rabid attitude towards Yorubas?
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by disturbia: 8:57pm On Mar 03, 2010
@Poster
One question, if you told your parent you were getting married to a white guy, will they object?
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by mimiiii: 8:58pm On Mar 03, 2010
yes ooo,our igbo boys prefer to marry the NNE babes , so dat dey can gave birth to 7boys ,one girl,
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by H2O2: 9:14pm On Mar 03, 2010
Tendency? I don't think you should let these pathetic tribal stereotypes or your parents' prejudices about the yoruba guy deter you from following your heart and using your head. They're not the oens in relationship with him - you are. If you find him to your liking and he seems like the ideal guy for you then go for goal. Wtf with the bullsh** .

Even though I wouldn't be happy about it I would fight my parents over junk like that. I am mature enough to make these decisions on my own. It's my life and my burden to bear.

Nonsense and crap.
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by na2day2(m): 9:35pm On Mar 03, 2010
Lynakenz:

Am an ibo girl from imo state,i have been dating this yoruba guy 4 a yr nw and we're in love,he just proposed marriage and i accepted,i have met his family and they welcomed me,he has even acceptd 2 convert 2my church, Catholic. My family has totaly rejected him with reasons such as, Tribe,language and culture barrier, tendency of polygamy and other factors that could come in d marriage,pls i need your sincere advise. At the moment i have another suitor from my state. Am confused.

so for a whole year u never took the dude to introduce to ur parents?


THE AMAKA:

it's igbo
but anyway. . .
too late, you already said "yes" to the proposal and went the whole 9 yards.
so you didnt even seek your parents approval before you accepted and did the whole thing? or you did, but you didn't care too much about their approval in the first place and now you're having seconds thoughts?  undecided
na wa for you oooo.


crappy! ! ! this is not small pikin talk, go play with barbie or something
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by Nobody: 9:41pm On Mar 03, 2010
my dad is yoruba, married to an igbo from your state too. Happily married over 20 yrs now and still going strong. Funny enough they have had to be the ones counselling the igbo-igbo marriages in the family. grin
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by rickie4us(m): 9:57pm On Mar 03, 2010
yes
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by THEAMAKA(f): 11:43pm On Mar 03, 2010
na2day?:

so for a whole year u never took the dude to introduce to your parents? 


crappy! ! ! this is not small pikin talk, go play with barbie or something


first you say i should ignore you, so then why are you replying to my posts?
how about you go play with your **** or something.
sheesh, go back into retirement, for real.
(while whining) "na snow cause am"
lol rubbish.


tomidayspring:

The girl simply asked a question,if you dont have a solution why cant you keep quiet,must you reply to every thread? Instead of criticizing and adding to her heart aches.

He that hasn't sinned should cast the first stone!


and you are?
i gave her an aswer, and i said its TOO LATE!!! since she already accepted his proposal and went the whole 9 yards. what do you expect her to do now?
unless she wants to drop him to avoid being out casted by her family.
and who is casting the first stone? sit down jo!
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by Hotstepper(f): 5:39am On Mar 04, 2010
@Poster, whatever you decide, make sure your parents are in support of the marriage, let them cool down 1st and start by talking to them and hopefully, they will come to understand and pray harder cuz prayer is the key

@kobikwelu , which of the U OF T campuses are u in?
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by galatico(m): 10:39am On Mar 04, 2010
Follow ur heart!!!
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by candyshore: 10:51am On Mar 04, 2010
EXACTLY FOLLOW UR HEART ITS VERY NECESSARY U DO DAT. COS U RE GOIN TO CARRY UR CROSS ALONE DEAR.
BUT LEFT TO ME TRIBE SHOULDNT BE A BIG DEAL, LOOK FOR THE GENUINE FEAR OF GOD IN HIS HEART
Re: Pls Advise,should I Marry This Yoruba Guy? by Krissykriss(m): 11:17am On Mar 04, 2010
Nigeria will never be 1! D earlier we understand, d better for us. But if i must be frank, there are few yoruba good guys compared to ibo's. What proof do i have? I lived in an ibo land thru primary, sec, & university. I served in a yoruba land. Today, I live in a yoruba land. I know both tribes.

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