aiyele200:



To be sincere, i invested so much money in both of her businesses, the problem is that she does not know how to manage funds, very wasteful and uncountable for her spendings, and yet does not bring anything to the table in the family. I pay full rent, school fees, feeding and all. Thats why I even got worried after all investment, she is still lending money.

grafixdon:


You need to man-up bro. You gave your wife too much freedom, it would backfire if you don't stop it now. Your wife is too exposed to opposite sex, they will bang her in no distant time. Put your foot down and Suspend all those communications nonsense for now. Tell her want you want and stand by it.

Seems you love your wife, Pls protect her, she's very weak and vulnerable, if you don't act fast, you will loose her and your marriage. No smoke without fire, she's about to commit.

aiyele200: She responded saying, to be sincere, they had plans seeing the guy at the bus stop to discuss loan, but she decided to have the guy drive them since he knows the hospital and since he is a man. I was like fine, but when u came to meet me, I thought u were supposed to tell me who was in the car, instead u walked off, she said actually I forgot, that it was the moment that u pressed the horn that I realized I was suppose to ask u if it was ok for segun to drive us. Oh well, they say communication is key in marriages

ikbnice:
Women don't make the world go round. They make one world stand still. Those little things they term harmless, are more dangerous than hydrogen bomb.

ikbnice:
Women don't make the world go round. They make one world stand still. Those little things they term harmless, are more dangerous than hydrogen bomb.

JeffreyJamez:
What I'm trying to understand is why your wife is collecting loan from another man when you're still alive? Explain that part first.

aiyele200:
Hi Nlanders,

Good morning and happy weekend. I am posting this due to the fact that my patience and understanding is being taken for granted by my wife. 6 years already into this marriage, disobedience and unfaithfulness in terms of not being straightforward with me has been the order of the marriage, though a times, the woman changes for good, then later she starts again.

One sunday afternoon after returning back from church, she quickly rushed to me saying she wanted to go and drop her sister at the hospital since the first malaria treatment she had didnt work. I asked where the hospital is, said somewhere in gbagada, knowing fully well that my wife does not know gbagada well, and knowing well also that she was going with the kids, I volunteered to drop them off, but she kept mute, and her body language showed that she didnt want me to drop them off. So I said, plz be careful, gave her money to branch at the filling station to top up the fuel in the car.

On their way going, I got hungry cos lunch was not prepared b4 they left, I decided to rush down to the nearest eatery to get sumtin to eat, on entering my own car, figured out my fuel was low, so I decided to go to the filling station. On getting there, I was packed at my wife's car, she was actually standing beside the passenger side which is weird, cos she was the one that drove off, I looked at the drivers side, and I could see a man's head. So my wife came to meet me, said she just paid for fuel, they are leaving now, at that time, I was expecting her to at least explain who the person at the drivers seat was, with my kids in the car oooo!!! She just went straight to the passenger side and closed the door. I was really stunned and surprised.

I pressed the horn for her to come down, soon as she came down, she immediately said, oh i forgot to ask you if it was ok for Segun to drop us at the hospital, I was like why, she said because he seems to know the place. Funny thing is, this guy I have never met before, but she has told me about him b4 and I know him as the guy that loans she and her sister money when urgent funds are needed. So she called the dude down from the car, introduced him proper and I asked them to leave. A lot of people will sure blame me for allowing someone I dont really know to drive my family to a location, but at that moment I was still stunned because to me it was the highest level of mistrust and disappointment, so I could not take a drastic move @ that moment. They left, and the same guy dropped them off.

That night, I called my wife and sat her down, that I need an explanation on how the whole scene played out, cos I volunteered to go and drop you guys, u didnt answer me, and all of a sudden, I am seeing another man whether known or unknown person in the car with my kids without u telling me b4 u left the house that someone was going to drive u guys. She responded saying, to be sincere, they had plans seeing the guy at the bus stop to discuss loan, but she decided to have the guy drive them since he knows the hospital and since he is a man. I was like fine, but when u came to meet me, I thought u were supposed to tell me who was in the car, instead u walked off, she said actually I forgot, that it was the moment that u pressed the horn that I realized I was suppose to ask u if it was ok for segun to drive us. Oh well, they say communication is key in marriages, I will not say she was lying, thought I know something dont add up, so I moved on.

But the damn thing that really got me worried was that, few days to that very day, I noticed her being worried and soliloquizing, asked her what the problem is, claimed that its the money she lent last from the segun guy which she has not been able to pay is what is worrying her, that the dude has been askeing her for the money since it has elapsed the paying time. With that alone, it gave me a worrying thought that, it was the same guy that I ended up seeing on code @ d filling station driving my family off.

Nlanders, sorry for the long epistle, if I dont explain well, you guys wont understand in details, for the married guys and ladies, whats your take on this issue? Does something really isnt adding up?

Thanks!

JeffreyJamez:
What I'm trying to understand is why your wife is collecting loan from another man when you're still alive? Explain that part first.

tamethem:



How do you mean? So she shouldnt have collected loan becos the husband is alive or because married women or men are not supposed to collect loan.

Sorry im not understanding. Its obvious the lady needs loan because she needs money for business and her husband doesnt have the kind of amount.

Is it collecting loan from another person as a married woman that is a crime or the husband not being able to give her the sum she needs.

Please explain your question

aiyele200:
Hi Nlanders,

Good morning and happy weekend. I am posting this due to the fact that my patience and understanding is being taken for granted by my wife. 6 years already into this marriage, disobedience and unfaithfulness in terms of not being straightforward with me has been the order of the marriage, though a times, the woman changes for good, then later she starts again.

One sunday afternoon after returning back from church, she quickly rushed to me saying she wanted to go and drop her sister at the hospital since the first malaria treatment she had didnt work. I asked where the hospital is, said somewhere in gbagada, knowing fully well that my wife does not know gbagada well, and knowing well also that she was going with the kids, I volunteered to drop them off, but she kept mute, and her body language showed that she didnt want me to drop them off. So I said, plz be careful, gave her money to branch at the filling station to top up the fuel in the car.

On their way going, I got hungry cos lunch was not prepared b4 they left, I decided to rush down to the nearest eatery to get sumtin to eat, on entering my own car, figured out my fuel was low, so I decided to go to the filling station. On getting there, I was packed at my wife's car, she was actually standing beside the passenger side which is weird, cos she was the one that drove off, I looked at the drivers side, and I could see a man's head. So my wife came to meet me, said she just paid for fuel, they are leaving now, at that time, I was expecting her to at least explain who the person at the drivers seat was, with my kids in the car oooo!!! She just went straight to the passenger side and closed the door. I was really stunned and surprised.

I pressed the horn for her to come down, soon as she came down, she immediately said, oh i forgot to ask you if it was ok for Segun to drop us at the hospital, I was like why, she said because he seems to know the place. Funny thing is, this guy I have never met before, but she has told me about him b4 and I know him as the guy that loans she and her sister money when urgent funds are needed. So she called the dude down from the car, introduced him proper and I asked them to leave. A lot of people will sure blame me for allowing someone I dont really know to drive my family to a location, but at that moment I was still stunned because to me it was the highest level of mistrust and disappointment, so I could not take a drastic move @ that moment. They left, and the same guy dropped them off.

That night, I called my wife and sat her down, that I need an explanation on how the whole scene played out, cos I volunteered to go and drop you guys, u didnt answer me, and all of a sudden, I am seeing another man whether known or unknown person in the car with my kids without u telling me b4 u left the house that someone was going to drive u guys. She responded saying, to be sincere, they had plans seeing the guy at the bus stop to discuss loan, but she decided to have the guy drive them since he knows the hospital and since he is a man. I was like fine, but when u came to meet me, I thought u were supposed to tell me who was in the car, instead u walked off, she said actually I forgot, that it was the moment that u pressed the horn that I realized I was suppose to ask u if it was ok for segun to drive us. Oh well, they say communication is key in marriages, I will not say she was lying, thought I know something dont add up, so I moved on.

But the damn thing that really got me worried was that, few days to that very day, I noticed her being worried and soliloquizing, asked her what the problem is, claimed that its the money she lent last from the segun guy which she has not been able to pay is what is worrying her, that the dude has been askeing her for the money since it has elapsed the paying time. With that alone, it gave me a worrying thought that, it was the same guy that I ended up seeing on code @ d filling station driving my family off.

Nlanders, sorry for the long epistle, if I dont explain well, you guys wont understand in details, for the married guys and ladies, whats your take on this issue? Does something really isnt adding up?

Thanks!

enabledgoddess:
Agreed, she hasn't acted properly; but do not entertain the thought she might be cheating. please trash out the issue with her and place your foot on the ground as a man. why allow her to take a loan from a man? that alone sells you short. secondly why allow a stranger drive your kids ? oh please sort it out rather than sit at a corner sucking over whether she is cheating or not. y[b]ou lost your respect the moment you allowed segun drove them away in your presence. [/b]

aiyele200:


I did not come here to insinuate that what was fishy is cheating. I for one have perished that thought at first thinking. We all know here that unfaithfulness is what actually leads to cheating if not well handled. This is the issue we have been battling for 6 years now, haba! How much can a man take? To make more known, I reported the issue the next day to her dad, he told me he'll call her, but instead he decided to come 4 days later to see her in person to talk to her, but a day before, I had already arrange cash to bail her out, I can recall her kneeling down in front of me crying and thanking me for rescuing her, to the extent of sending me a txt saying she never thought I'll bail her out on the very last day of deadline, that she will never let me down by stopping to ask for loan, blv me you, a day after the father came to talk to her, I overheard her talking to the same segun requesting for a larger amount of loan this time around. My system just ran down that I had to go out for a drink and just be myself.

00Ademi:
God!!!

U making me Proud!!

God Bless you for this respond..

richard870:
Whoa! careful dude

aiyele200:



To be sincere, i invested so much money in both of her businesses, the problem is that she does not know how to manage funds, very wasteful and uncountable for her spendings, and yet does not bring anything to the table in the family. I pay full rent, school fees, feeding and all. Thats why I even got worried after all investment, she is still lending money.