MUST READ: Crazy Love making ways for Pregnancy women (Photos), The touchiest subjects a pregnant couple may encounter is love-making. Unborn babies have a tendency to disrupt what was once a steamy, fantastical sex life and turn it into an awkward, tiring and sometimes belaboring experience for both parties.

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Over several months post-conception, the sporadic love-making sessions of the pre-child years gradually give way to claims of “I’m too tired,” “I just feel unattractive right now” or “Let’s hold off until this child quits tap-dancing my vagina.”

Pregnant women can’t enjoy sex or that pregnancy is a death sentence to a couple’s physical intimacy. In fact, pregnancy have the opposite effect depending on the swing of the hormonal tide, but in general it would be naive to assume that sex in any form will proceed as normal while pregnant. That said, don’t fret, sexually-frustrated reader, because I’m here to tell you that you can make love to your pregnant spouse right NOW.

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“But random BabyCenter blogger, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” you might say. “My pregnant spouse compares herself to a different barnyard animal every week, and she’s currently browsing eBay for used Rascal scooters. I’m just not sure making love is on her to-do list at the moment.”

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Of course it is. You’re just going about in the worst way possible. If you want to make love to a pregnant woman without being shut out like the Cleveland Browns on game day, here’s what you do.

Pregnant couple

The first step in making love to a pregnant woman to set the mood. You need to do this subtly because a woman’s mind-reading powers are only enhanced by the second brain growing in her uterus. Try drawing your spouse a bath and telling her to go take some time for herself. Grab whatever child-themed bubble bath you currently have stocked for your other children or yourself and fill it up. Don’t be stingy because this is no time to skimp. You’re aiming for a bubble apocalypse here, a level of foaming that would sexually excite a doomsday prepper.

Once you’ve coaxed your pregnant spouse into her bubble wonderland, leave the room. As you exit, casually mention that you’re going to get started on a random household task. Preferably it’s something that she’s been asking you about for weeks, or one of her own weekly tasks that she dreads. Maybe it’s fixing a running toilet. Or laundry. Or vacuuming. Maybe you’re just going to wash your own coffee mug for once. Whatever it is, go do that and at least two more equivalent tasks until 30 minutes have passed. Your spouse should be nice and relaxed now.

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Now, reader, pay attention because this is where it gets hot.

Gently knock on the bathroom door and ask your spouse if she needs anything. Don’t tell her about the wonderful things you’ve been up to so far, but DO tell her that you’ve got a surprise for her when she’s ready. Wink if you want to add an air of creepiness, but refrain from pointing at your crotch and thrusting.

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After she gets out of the bathtub and dries off, tell her to lie down and get comfortable. She may be getting suspicious at this point, which is normal, especially if you disobeyed my crotch-pointing instructions. Don’t panic. If you think your spouse may be fleeing the room, sit her down and grab her foot. Start rubbing. Rub some more. Rub her feet like you’re trying to excise a cramp from LeBron James’ foot in game seven of the NBA Finals. If you’re any good, she’ll lie back and start moaning. That’s a good thing. Here’s where you make your move, Casanova.

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This is seriously serious!

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