trustyshoess:

So are you trying to say that only feminists go through problems in their relationships?

trustyshoess:

Yes humans need humans but humans also have the ability to love themselves. Once you love yourself enough, you'll want what's best for you, not what society says is best.
Yes I truly do not NEED a man to be happy. I have enough love from myself, my family and my friends to last me a lifetime

makydebbie:
It's one of our nl boys stupid assumptions since we need men to be happy. Fvck! Is it sex? I'll get a dild© and feel happy.

IamSINZ:

Lawlahdey:
X-Busta.

QueenSekxy:

lol..nofavors take a chill pill this morning biko

Lawlahdey:
The real meat feels better.

NeeKlaus:
Lol. I have nothing much to say to you but as long as
- a guy still foots the entire bills on a date with the lady smiling like a morön,

- a guy assumes the role of a father, brother, uncle, Alhaji and Employer while paying the girl monthly 'salaries' just because he's in a parasitic relationship with her sorry ass,

- a man still receives the brunt of the public in a case of domestic violence because he's supposed to be the "stronger sex" irregardless of the fact that the lady might have provoked him first verbally,
Then, there's no gender equality. Your charade of liberal feminism (or whatchamacallit?) is total bullocks.

Nigerian feminists are a frustrated bunch.

Lawlahdey:
The real meat feels better.

QueenSekxy:

you don't change what has been predestined

this is long over due..

trustyshoess:

So this is what I was talking about when I said I believed in gender equality. I believe that women should not expect men to pay for dates, we should always assume that we will be paying for at least our part of the date and come prepared to do so.
Also, about the salary thing, to that i say get you an independent woman with some self esteem and you won't need to pay her any sort of salary as she would be working hard towards self dependence.

Your last point, yes there's no gender equality, that's why we should be striving towards it. It doesn't matter, male or female, whoever gets battered and bruised in a fight is usually viewed as the victim
I do think it's unfair to blame the man alone, especially in cases where the woman is physically abusive - like a story I read recently on nairaland. The claims should always be thoroughly investigated
However, yes men are physically stronger (in most cases) , I never denied that. But a person just much more than just their physique

QueenSekxy:

hahahaha..debbie,are you a feminist too?

makydebbie:
They don't know even know how to use it.

QueenSekxy:

hahahaha..debbie,are you a feminist too?

Lawlahdey:
Only lonely and depressed people scream about selflove.

Trust me, I'm right.

makydebbie:
Nah I'm not, just against what someone said on a thread.

NoFavors:
Nah! I didn't say that. What I'm saying is you lot are bunch of losers who refused to move on

Lawlahdey:
But sorry, how many independent women do we have in Nigeria? Few, to be honest.
Most of them are busy opening legs and counting cash. Yet, they claim to be feminists. How then do you expect men to take feminist serious if the sisters are like this?

Women are their own problem.

trustyshoess:

Hahaha nooope. That is far from the truth
When you love yourself, you never want to depend on another person, not giving them a chance to have any Control over you.
When you love yourself, you work hard to achieve and be so best you can be
I'm not against relationships and Love! Far from it. However one should never need another person in order to find emotional stability or to feel loved. Love yourself first and a partner will become and addition/bonus to your life, not a necessity

trustyshoess:

You seem to be mixing up the term female with feminist. Female doesn't = Feminist. There doesn't seem to be a lot of feminists in Nigeria tho. Men can be feminists too! Maybe we need a better term so men feel more comfortable being associated with it

Lawlahdey:
I dig your point.

It's not about loving yourself, it's about believing in yourself. They are two different things.
When you say "love yourself", IMO, it's not caring about what other people feel about you. That's cool tho. But I still reiterate that only people who are lonely and depressed scream it. If you have been loved right all your life, you wouldn't need build a shell around yourself.

People scream self love because they have been heartbroken before and they don't want that to happen to them again.

If you had a partner who treated you right and made you feel like the world revolves around you, you wouldn't talk about not needing another person to feel loved. Humans need to feel loved, self love ain't enough. They complement each other.

Note:I'm not talking about you specifically.

Lawlahdey:
I asked, "How many independent women do we have in Nigeria?" I wasn't talking about feminists. You can be independent and not be feminist.

Oh, you mean we don't have feminists in Nigeria? But they are scattered all over social media.

trustyshoess:

I still completely disagree. Yes, you may want to feel loved by someone you're in love with, that's normal. But you should never NEED that love from anyone. I've never been particularly heart broken to the point where I'm depressed and what not. I'm only 19, but self love Is something that I think is super important
- a woman or man who loves his/herself will not remain in an abusive relationship because of what society would say
- a woman or man who loves his/herself would not try to change themselves to fit what society expects from them
There's so much reasons to love yourself. You shouldn't attribute it to people with depression. Most people with depression had no self love and so their depression stemmed from not getting that love from someone else.

trustyshoess:

LMAO I was a feminist even during my relationship and will continue to be one through future relationships. It changes nothing
Btw "holding a man down" is not an achievement, especially with a man that doesn't want to be held down.
Tbh so far, it seems to me that the general dislike for feminism is a bandwagon mentality. Most people don't even really understand feminism, they just hate it for no good reason

And you think you really understand it, not surface understanding Women are dubbed the most difficult gender to understand, I'm sure you people don't even know what you're clamoring for.

trustyshoess:

There are feminists in Nigeria, just not a lot it seems. Most likely due to to the inherent backlash they don't show themselves a lot.
As for how many independent women we have, quite frankly I don't know but I do believe that women should all be working towards being independent. If we don't have many, it's because society has taught women to be dependent on men. This needs to be reversed

Lawlahdey:
LOL. People don't stay in abusive relationships because of what the society would say. They stay because they want to. Maybe they have thick skin.

Okay, I agree with the concept of self love. But I do not agree with how it is portrayed.

Lawlahdey:
LOL.

The society didn't teach women to be dependent on men. Nature did. But people are trying to twist the natural order of things, why do you think the world is raving mad?

Naturally, a woman doesn't need to compete with a man, especially in an unhealthy manner. You won't get my point because you are a feminist though.

Lsofdk:

And you think you really understand it, not surface understanding Women are dubbed the most difficult gender to understand, I'm sure you people don't even know what you're clamoring for.