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If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy - Family - Nairaland

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If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by bukatyne(f): 5:11pm On Nov 05, 2017
ByMATT WALSH

There was an article in Cosmo this week with a title that summarizes all that's wrong with Cosmo and modern society as a whole: "I eloped at 25, divorced at 26, and dated my way across Europe all summer." Of course, by "dated my way across Europe" she means that she slept with half the continent.

The author, Elise, says she "started fighting" with her husband and within a few months they both decided that their differences were irreconcilable. Despite counseling, she says, "neither of us was happy." So, exhausted from 12 whole months of marriage, Elise embarked on a voyage of self-discovery and STD cultivation. She met random dudes in half a dozen countries and had sex with them, learning quite a lot as she went, though she can't really explain what exactly she learned or why sex was a necessary component in learning it. Finally, she came home and started dating some other guy. The end.

Well, not really the end. 20 years from now I'm sure we'll get the follow up article: "I'm alone and miserable and it's everyone's fault but mine." After all, you may be able to fill the emptiness in your soul with frivolous sex when you're young and physically desirable, but that phase is fleeting. People who don't want to "waste" their beauty and youth on a spouse, so they waste it instead on strangers who don't love them or even care what happens to them tomorrow, will be shocked when a tomorrow comes where even strangers aren't interested anymore. This is where the single-minded, utterly selfish pursuit of "happiness" at all costs inevitably leads: to rejection, despair, and a quiet, unnoticed death on a lonely hospital bed.

As Elise helpfully demonstrated, "do what makes you happy" is poison in a marriage. Many a vow has been broken because one or both partners decide to chase "happiness" instead of commitment, fidelity, and love. "I deserve to be happy," reports the legion of serial divorcees, as they drift on to the next spouse, and the next, and the next, and the next, looking for the one — the one, finally — who might cure the misery they've inflicted on themselves. Increasingly unhappy, yet increasingly convinced that they deserve to be.

Many people in my generation, determined to "do what makes them happy," have elected to forgo marriage and parenthood entirely. They've predicted that family life will not always be an amusement park of sheer excitement and euphoria, so it isn't worth it. Recently, I posted something on Twitter jokingly complaining about the fact that my kids always lose their shoes, and a guy responded by saying that this— the shoe thing, I guess — is why he never wants kids. "Too much of a hassle," he explained. The deeper fulfillment of parenthood will not compensate, in his mind, for the annoyance of looking for a toddler's sneakers.

It is not a coincidence that the "do what makes you happy" mantra is rarely offered as a justification for a healthy, generous, or productive decision. It is always the bum, the drunk, the couch potato, the loser, who is doing what makes him happy. Stable, successful people are doing something else, something bigger. Indeed, if you ask someone why they go to work every day, or why they stay faithful to their spouse, or why they're attentive to their children, or why they care for a relative with dementia, or why they give to charity, or why they exercise restraint, or why they keep their promises, or why they save themselves for marriage, or why they engage in a hundred other good and worthwhile pursuits, the answer will never be, "Well, I'm just doing what makes me happy." Which isn't to say that these activities always make them unhappy, just that they are reaching for a thing deeper and fuller than momentary gratification.

It's relevant to note that the word "happiness" comes from "hap," meaning chance or fortune. By definition, happiness is fleeting and dependent upon environmental factors. Happiness is an emotional response to happenstance. It's not bad in itself, but neither is it solid enough to serve as the foundation of our lives. We'll never get anywhere, then, if we only ever ask ourselves whether this or that action will make us happy. And whatever direction we go, we won't stay on that road for long because nothing will make us happy all the time.

The only sustained and entirely reliable happiness we'll find is the passive, numbed, brain dead variety that we derive from television. That's why so many of us can't manage to commit ourselves to any obligation yet we'll watch every episode of a TV series like we're married to it. Think of the person who has never been in a job for longer than 12 months, or a relationship for longer than 6, yet has been watching the Walking Dead religiously for 8 years (in spite of the fact that the show has been terrible for the last 7).

The Daily Wire ran a piece on Tuesday about young men who've elected to play video games rather than get jobs. Their reason? Video games make them happy. Doubtless, many of these "happy" people are on anti-depressants, convinced that the constant pangs of despair lying under their "happiness" must be the result of some sort of mental disease. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that they've been sitting on a beanbag chair in a basement staring at a screen for the last quarter century.

As we can clearly see, "will this make me happy?" is the wrong line of inquiry. I can't tell anything about a given action based on whether or not it will make me happy. There are a million bad and destructive things that would probably make me happy, at least for a time. There are a million good and fruitful things that will probably make me unhappy, at least for a time. The question is irrelevant. It's like asking whether a certain food will fill my stomach. Yes, maybe it will, but with what?

I think the the better questions to ask, before we do anything, are these: Is this right? Is it my duty? Is it productive? Is it healthy? Is it worthwhile? Will it bear good fruit? Will it make me a better person? Is this what God wants? If we can check all of those boxes, we should do it. Even if it causes us unhappiness sometimes, it will also bring us something better: joy. A joyful person, even when he is unhappy, still is sustained by the lasting contentment and peace that comes from a life grounded in faith, love, and virtue. You can never go wrong by doing what brings joy, but those things always require some measure of effort and sacrifice.

The person who chases only happiness would like to have joy as well, but he's not so crazy about the effort and sacrifice part, so he makes do. And that is why we live today in a society filled with happy, optimistic, positive-thinking, joyless, miserable, lonely, smiling, empty people. They have settled for mere happiness, and even that they rarely find.

If only they'd aim a little higher.

http://www.dailywire.com/news/22789/walsh-if-you-want-be-miserable-failure-just-do-matt-walsh

10 Likes 3 Shares

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by bukatyne(f): 5:12pm On Nov 05, 2017
Deep

I'll choose joy over and over again smiley

3 Likes

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Cutehector(m): 5:15pm On Nov 05, 2017
You are right in a way though.. But its not always the case

2 Likes

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by python1: 5:28pm On Nov 05, 2017
OP, the title of this thread is just sufficient and this must be one of the wisest statements I have hard this in a long time. No need for this story, infact, I didn't read even the first line. A good number of successful people do what they don't like doing.

5 Likes

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by bukatyne(f): 5:30pm On Nov 05, 2017
Cutehector:
You are right in a way though.. But its not always the case

When is it not applicable?
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by bukatyne(f): 5:31pm On Nov 05, 2017
python1:
OP, the title of this thread is just sufficient and this must be one of the wisest statements I have hard this in a long time. No need for this story, infact, I didn't read even the first line. A good number of successful people do what they don't like doing.

Thank you.

Are you referencing success as per money or life generally?
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by python1: 5:36pm On Nov 05, 2017
bukatyne:


Thank you.

Are you referencing success as per money or life generally?
Life generally. Marriage for instance. Most successful and long lasting married couples have stories to tell, endurance, taking responsibility etc. Money is part of it of course, infact it plays about 60% of the whole show.

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Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by bukatyne(f): 5:39pm On Nov 05, 2017
python1:

Life generally. Marriage for instance. Most successful and long lasting married couples have stories to tell, endurance, taking responsibility etc. Money is part of it of course, infact it plays about 60% of the whole show.

Lol @ money playing 60% of the whole show.

The marriage part is very apt.

Sometimes, responsibilities can be unpalatable. The results at the end is what makes it worth it.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by jdluv(f): 5:44pm On Nov 05, 2017
nice write up .......educatin
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by bukatyne(f): 6:47pm On Nov 05, 2017
jdluv:
nice write up .......educatin

Glad you learnt from it
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Nobody: 9:22pm On Nov 05, 2017
"Do what makes you happy" is definitely the wrong motto to be chanting in marriage. If it were possible to do that then there would be no unhappy marriages. The most successful marriages involves one or both parties being an utilitarianist of some sort.

2 Likes

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by bukatyne(f): 9:58pm On Nov 05, 2017
Gluhbirne:
"Do what makes you happy" is definitely the wrong motto to be chanting in marriage. If it were possible to do that then there would be no unhappy marriages. The most successful marriages involves one or both parties being an utilitarianist of some sort.

@bold: meaning?
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Nobody: 10:07pm On Nov 05, 2017
bukatyne:


@bold: meaning?

Utilitarianism = Greatest good for the greatest # of people.

1 Like

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by bukatyne(f): 11:09pm On Nov 05, 2017
Gluhbirne:


Utilitarianism = Greatest good for the greatest # of people.

This would work with both parties. Only one person is a recipe for burn out.

1 Like

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by ImaIma1(f): 1:22pm On Nov 06, 2017
Very insightful writeup.
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Nobody: 5:24pm On Nov 06, 2017
mynd44, lalaticlala, fp
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by AgentOfAllah: 8:14pm On Nov 06, 2017
Oh, the prejudice! This author has given happiness a grotesque definition to justify the snarky title of their article. Happiness is not a finely defined set of wants, but any aspiration that brings about contentment. For instance, I may invest my happiness in the success of my child, in which case, I would do anything, even if that thing hurts, to make sure my child succeeds. My happiness could also be invested in sexual gratification. Should this be the case, why shouldn't I seek it, even if it means spending my own money to travel across Europe to fulfill this dream? The only thing this author has done to drive home their vacuous points is resort to silly red herrings, like equating sexual gratification with multiple partners to STD cultivation. What about people who get STDs from single partners?

In this nauseating excuse of an article, the author mentions a few examples of "higher" pursuits which should supersede one's desire for happiness. For instance, they mentioned the "deeper fulfillment of parenthood", as if to suggest that every parent gets a sense of fulfillment. Such a claim is just bunkum! The truth is that there are many parents in the world today, living in extreme misery because they had children when they shouldn't have. Those parents enjoy no deeper fulfillment! This is not to say having children cannot in fact give one fulfillment. Only that if you are certain that it wouldn't, or even unsure that it would, you had better held back before plunging yourself into an insufferable abyss.

"Will this make me happy?"

What is wrong about this line of enquiry? Yes, it may however be useful to enumerate the sort of things that make you happy in order of priority, for some pursuits might require you to forego others, but make no mistake, your net happiness is always the goal. Anybody that says otherwise is either pretentious or doesn't know the meaning of happiness. An equally important question to ask is the cost of your happiness. I suppose this is the most difficult bit, as it is very complicated to estimate. And I'm not just talking of financial cost, this also includes health, time, effect on those you care about (if you care about anybody), and so on. If your happiness pursuit isn't sustainable, then you may want to think twice before indulging.

This author recommends a list of questions to ask before embarking on their so-called "higher" aims. These include:
"Is this right? Is it my duty? Is it productive? Is it healthy? Is it worthwhile? Will it bear good fruit? Will it make me a better person? Is this what God wants?"
When you ask if something is right, what is the yardstick by which you measure its rightness? For most things we do in life, there is usually never a ready answer for whether they are right or not. Also, while the outcome of certain actions are certainly predictable, these are very few compared to most of life's pursuits. The eventual outcome of our pursuits are so unpredictable that one can never be certain of the answers to questions about how productive or profitable their actions may be. For all we know, one of those people Elise met along the way might have turned out to be the source of her "higher" aim; and yes, her definition of "higher aim" is as irrelevant to us as ours might justifiably be to her. In short, while the answers to all these questions could very well be the justifications for one's life's pursuits, they are subjective. Even still, whatever lies at the end of that pursuit, whether you acknowledge it or not, is still about your happiness. So, by all means, ask yourself: "will this make me happy?" without being shamed into accepting that there can be such a fulfillment that is deeper than your happiness.

The most atrocious liberty this author took was their attempt to desynonymise happiness and joy! That's just an egregious contrivance not even fit for pedantic deliberations. A joyful person is a happy person, and when someone is unhappy, they cannot be a joyful person. Obviously, joyfulness and happiness are equally transient states. There's nobody that is perpetually joyful; so, to end an article eschewing the pursuit of happiness with a statement like: "You can never go wrong by doing what brings joy" rings excruciatingly hollow, and dumb...like really? You don't say!!

In the end, I've only read a disappointingly uninspiring article by someone who is eternally bitter that other people may find joy in different ways than them. The author attempts to paint these people as "joyless, miserable, lonely, smiling, empty people". However, it seems to me that the only person who is joyless, miserable, lonely, empty, and, might I add, shallow, is someone who, rather than embrace all the many expressions of happiness and its pursuit, chooses to limit its definition as an excuse to condemn others for not being just like them.

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Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by shaybebaby(f): 8:29pm On Nov 06, 2017
And he does it again... Effortlessly. cool

1 Like

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Martin0(m): 8:57pm On Nov 06, 2017
shaybebaby:
And he does it again... Effortlessly. cool

It high time I call my sis to arrange for a free checkup when she's comming to nigeria
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Nobody: 8:58pm On Nov 06, 2017
Agent,, OfAllah:
Oh, the prejudice! This author has given happiness a grotesque definition to justify the snarky title of their article. Happiness is not a finely defined set of wants, but any aspiration that brings about contentment. For instance, I may invest my happiness in the success of my child, in which case, I would do anything, even if that thing hurts, to make sure my child succeeds. My happiness could also be invested in sexual gratification. Should this be the case, why shouldn't I seek it, even if it means spending my own money to travel across Europe to fulfill this dream? The only thing this author has done to drive home their vacuous points is resort to silly red herrings, like equating sexual gratification with multiple partners to STD cultivation. What about people who get STDs from single partners?

In this nauseating excuse of an article, the author mentions a few examples of "higher" pursuits which should supersede one's desire for happiness. For instance, they mentioned the "deeper fulfillment of parenthood", as if to suggest that every parent gets a sense of fulfillment. Such a claim is just bunkum! The truth is that there are many parents in the world today, living in extreme misery because they had children when they shouldn't have. Those parents enjoy no deeper fulfillment! This is not to say having children cannot in fact give one fulfillment. Only that if you are certain that it wouldn't, or even unsure that it would, you had better held back before plunging yourself into an insufferable abyss.

"Will this make me happy?"

What is wrong about this line of enquiry? Yes, it may however be useful to enumerate the sort of things that make you happy in order of priority, for some pursuits might require you to forego others, but make no mistake, your net happiness is always the goal. Anybody that says otherwise is either pretentious or doesn't know the meaning of happiness. An equally important question to ask is the cost of your happiness. I suppose this is the most difficult bit, as it is very complicated to estimate. And I'm not just talking of financial cost, this also includes health, time, effect on those you care about (if you care about anybody), and so on. If your happiness pursuit isn't sustainable, then you may want to think twice before indulging.

This author recommends a list of questions to ask before embarking on their so-called "higher" aims. These include:
"Is this right? Is it my duty? Is it productive? Is it healthy? Is it worthwhile? Will it bear good fruit? Will it make me a better person? Is this what God wants?"
When you ask if something is right, what is the yardstick by which you measure its rightness? For most things we do in life, there is usually never a ready answer for whether they are right or not. Also, while the outcome of certain actions are certainly predictable, these are very few compared to most of life's pursuits. The eventual outcome of our pursuits are so unpredictable that one can never be certain of the answers to questions about how productive or profitable their actions may be. For all we know, one of those people Elise met along the way might have turned out to be the source of her "higher" aim; and yes, her definition of "higher aim" is as irrelevant to us as ours might justifiably be to her. In short, while the answers to all these questions could very well be the justifications for one's life's pursuits, they are subjective. Even still, whatever lies at the end of that pursuit, whether you acknowledge it or not, is still about your happiness. So, by all means, ask yourself: "will this make me happy?" without being shamed into accepting that there can be such a fulfillment that is deeper than your happiness.

The most atrocious liberty this author took was their attempt to desynonymise happiness and joy! That's just an egregious contrivance not even fit for pedantic deliberations. A joyful person is a happy person, and when someone is unhappy, they cannot be a joyful person. Obviously, joyfulness and happiness are equally transient states. There's nobody that is perpetually joyful; so, to end an article eschewing the pursuit of happiness with a statement like: "You can never go wrong by doing what brings joy" rings excruciatingly hollow, and dumb...like really? You don't say!!

In the end, I've only read a disappointingly uninspiring article by someone who is eternally bitter that other people may find joy in different ways than them. The author attempts to paint these people as "joyless, miserable, lonely, smiling, empty people". However, it seems to me that the only person who is joyless, miserable, lonely, empty, and, might I add, shallow, is someone who, rather than embrace all the many expressions of happiness and its pursuit, chooses to limit its definition as an excuse to condemn others for not being just like them

@ bukatyne what do you think of this?
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by shaybebaby(f): 10:14pm On Nov 06, 2017
Martin0:


It high time I call my sis to arrange for a free checkup when she's comming to nigeria
Hello hun, hope you had a good start to the week.
When it's that time, you will be first to know. X
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Martin0(m): 10:17pm On Nov 06, 2017
shaybebaby:

Hello hun, hope you had a good start to the week.
When it's that time, you will be first to know. X

Yeah yeah yeah,starting this week was awesomegringrin
The unimaginable and unbelievable happend today,it keeps me wondering what might be her missiongringrin

Chai shay shay ladies are very tactical honestlygrin


For sure I will..
I ve come to the conclusion that most nigerian's need some free brain checkupgrin
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by shaybebaby(f): 10:27pm On Nov 06, 2017
Martin0:


Yeah yeah yeah,starting this week was awesomegringrin
The unimaginable and unbelievable happend today,it keeps me wondering what might be her missiongringrin

Chai shay shay ladies are very tactical honestlygrin


For sure I will..
I ve come to the conclusion that most nigerian's need some free brain checkupgrin
Including me? tongue
Gist me nah.
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Martin0(m): 10:43pm On Nov 06, 2017
shaybebaby:

Including me? tongue
Gist me nah.

Ehm well for you I don't know for now,but I believ with great patient and as time keeps on,I will now find where to categorise you ..grin

I travel to Ondo state today to see check on a Animal husbandry...
Chaieeee tinz dey happen for life sha,well I believ it all way's and tactics of packaging for ladies now gringrin

I saw this girl and her mother in my farm(partnership business ) infact eh I had to ask her mother what they were doing ?
She answerd ''Ọmọ mi ti o ṣe iṣẹ kan sọ fun wa pe iwọ
yoo wa ni ọdọ loni o bẹ ki emi ati
ọmọbirin mi pinnu lati wa ri ọ ..'' Infact eh I stared into her daughter eye's so see if I can see her plan coz I believ she most have planed to come to my farm with her mother even if her mother gave her reason..

These people started to act nice and caring to me even her daughter,my worker was so Amazed that he was forced to tell me about her good character he must have noticed recentlygringrin

The last time I came to Ondo state I saw her,I knew she will have a plan B whenever I return again..

A lady or girl cannot just start showing you care suddenly,I believ she's trying to make me like her..
Girl's and their plan B,she came with her mother for me not to suspect or figure out her plan,Damm ladies I fear una..

The reason why am telling you this is bcoz I wan hear wetin u go advice coz u na my good friend now ooo
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by shaybebaby(f): 7:57am On Nov 07, 2017
Martin0:


Ehm well for you I don't know for now,but I believ with great patient and as time keeps on,I will now find where to categorise you ..grin

I travel to Ondo state today to see check on a Animal husbandry...
Chaieeee tinz dey happen for life sha,well I believ it all way's and tactics of packaging for ladies now gringrin

I saw this girl and her mother in my farm(partnership business ) infact eh I had to ask her mother what they were doing ?
She answerd ''Ọmọ mi ti o ṣe iṣẹ kan sọ fun wa pe iwọ
yoo wa ni ọdọ loni o bẹ ki emi ati
ọmọbirin mi pinnu lati wa ri ọ ..'' Infact eh I stared into her daughter eye's so see if I can see her plan coz I believ she most have planed to come to my farm with her mother even if her mother gave her reason..

These people started to act nice and caring to me even her daughter,my worker was so Amazed that he was forced to tell me about her good character he must have noticed recentlygringrin

The last time I came to Ondo state I saw her,I knew she will have a plan B whenever I return again..

A lady or girl cannot just start showing you care suddenly,I believ she's trying to make me like her..
Girl's and their plan B,she came with her mother for me not to suspect or figure out her plan,Damm ladies I fear una..

The reason why am telling you this is bcoz I wan hear wetin u go advice coz u na my good friend now ooo
Okay, that yoruba up there bamboozled my brain . But the gist is some girl has decided you are going to be her husband. Aso ebi loading grin
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Martin0(m): 1:19pm On Nov 07, 2017
shaybebaby:

Okay, that yoruba up there bamboozled my brain . But the gist is some girl has decided you are going to be her husband. Aso ebi loading grin

U mean she has decided on her own?
Ok then I guess she will have that as an imagination..
I have jokingly given her an information to notify her that am out of such imagination of her's ...

I don't want headache abeg..
Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Mznaett(f): 8:19pm On Nov 07, 2017
@AgentofAllah

Such is the character of some writers. They put up a proposal to you and they also dictate the method of implementation. Very funny.

This is almost my problem with people like her. They create a lot of problems here and there in the name of concern.
I never knew Happiness and Joy has different meanings undecided

1 Like

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by nnamdibig(m): 9:17pm On Nov 07, 2017
Dangote did not become the richest Blackman by doing what makes him happy.
For the people criticizing the article, one of said you can do things that will hurt you to ensure that your child gets the best(if that is what makes you happy).
Is you and OP not saying the same thing??
When some people are busy clubbing and drinking(making themselves happy), you are busy doing things that may "hurt" to ensure that at the long run your child is what you actually wants him/her to be............is that not what OP is trying to say.


Long lasting happiness is not immediate. It take time and takes lots of hardwork and lots of sleepless nights to achieve. Not something you get by running away from responsibilities in the name of making yourself happy.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by AgentOfAllah: 5:01am On Nov 08, 2017
nnamdibig:
Dangote did not become the richest Blackman by doing what makes him happy.
Is that so? And how do you know this?

For the people criticizing the article, one of said you can do things that will hurt you to ensure that your child gets the best(if that is what makes you happy).
Is you and OP not saying the same thing??
No we're not! Author seems to believe happiness cannot be defined in this way.

When some people are busy clubbing and drinking(making themselves happy), you are busy doing things that may "hurt" to ensure that at the long run your child is what you actually wants him/her to be............is that not what OP is trying to say.
Are you just a one-trick-pony? Can't you be someone who clubs, drinks and at the same time make sacrifices for your child because all of that makes you happy?

Long lasting happiness is not immediate. It take time and takes lots of hardwork and lots of sleepless nights to achieve. Not something you get by running away from responsibilities in the name of making yourself happy.
It seems you misunderstand my post. I didn't mention anything about running away from responsibility. This is your own construct.

6 Likes

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by aytuns(m): 11:42am On Nov 08, 2017
I don't think this is a 'one shoe fits all size' case... Some are happy doing productive things, some find happiness in their marriages, some find happiness in working hard.. While others may find do happiness lazy get around and indulging in youthful exuberance..
Still if you are not happy doing what you like, you'll turn out miserable.. Many people are unhappy in their marriages, but won't leave due to one reason or another, but it still doesn't remove the fact that they are miserable... That applies to jobs and general living... So It's not a must that you have to do what you hate in other not to be miserable..
Find happiness in doing what is productive and worth the while!

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Maduawuchukwu(m): 12:13pm On Nov 08, 2017
Nice article. Life is more about commitment than happiness. We all want a comfortable life but you shouldn't leave ur spouse who has fallen on hard times because you want to be happy, you should not abandon the education of your children because it consumes resources you would have been using to buy shoes instead. Even, no work stays exciting all the time. I love analysing politics but there are weeks I get tired of it. I can't just resign my work as a political analyst or fail to turn in reports. I have to use discipline when passion fails.
Just know what you truly like in the long term and stick to it through thick and thin. Do not create responsibilities that you will not attend to.

1 Like

Re: If You Want To Be A Miserable Failure, Just Do What Makes You Happy by Maduawuchukwu(m): 12:19pm On Nov 08, 2017
shaybebaby:
And he does it again... Effortlessly. cool

She made a mistake in stating some things she feels we all should aspire to eg marriage and having kids but she is right on the rest. What people call happiness nowadays are just fleeting emotions and feelings that don't last. Why should somebody have kids voluntarily and just flip out tomorrow because he doesn't like the burden of children or one to just abandon ones spouse because the marriage is not as hip as before without the person even doing any "fundamental" wrong? We should find our ultimate goal and stick to it even though most at times it gets boring.

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